Wacky: Welcome to the third leg of The *Insert Adjective Here* Race! We are here live at Baby Park, a paradise for little youngsters. And in this amusement park is a Yoshi Roller Coaster. The entrance to this ride was the second Pit Stop in a race around Plit. Teams arrived here for a mandatory rest period. Will Dry Bones and Boo be able to maintain their lead? Will Bowser and Bowser Jr. ever get out of second to last? Will Donkey Kong ever be seen not eating? Will GIMB ever make anyone laugh? Well, the last two are “no’s,” but the others might change. Dry Bones and Boo, who were the first team to arrive, will be the first team to depart.
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – first at route marker<<
Boo: Go to Luigi’s
Mansion… Racist.
Wacky: Teams must search for E. Gadd somewhere in Baby Park. Once they find him, he will teleport them to Luigi’s Mansion, in front of their next clue.
Dry Bones: All right, let’s think; if I was a crazy old fruit loop who talks in gibberish, where would I be in an amusement park?
Boo: Actually, I have no idea.
Dry Bones: Me neither. Just fly really high and tell me if you see something.
Boo flies up and looks down. He sees Dry Bones waving at him and a white speck. Boo flies back down to Dry Bones.
Boo: I found him, I found him!
Dry Bones: Where is he?
Boo: At a table right next to the snack bar; I think he’s eating a sandwich. Let’s go!
Boo flies himself and Dry Bones to the white speck.
Dry Bones: Cool Whip?
Cool Whip: Respect!
Dry Bones: You’re not the guy we’re looking for.
Cool Whip then points to a Ferris wheel, where E. Gadd is waiting.
Boo: Thanks!
Cool Whip: Respect!
The two go over to E. Gadd.
E. Gadd: Ee shnooki shnooki. Yabba Yabba.
Boo: What does that mean?
Dry Bones: Didn’t you read the text box?
Boo: What text box?
Dry Bones: Never mind. He just said that there is a warp block behind him that will take us to Luigi’s Mansion.
Boo: All right.
The two hit the warp block. They appear right next to E. Gadd’s Garage, right outside of Luigi’s Mansion.
Dry Bones: This place always gives me the creeps.
Boo: That is blatant racism, dude!
Dry Bones: Look, there’s the clue box.
He runs up and grabs the clue.
>>Dry Bones & Boo – first at Roadblock<<
Dry Bones: Roadblock: Who ya gonna call? Ghostbusters!
Wacky: A Roadblock is a task that only one team member may perform. In this Roadblock, that team member will get assigned one of the portrait ghosts from Luigi’s Mansion by King Boo. They will then go into the mansion and hunt that ghost down. They will get a Poltergust 3000 and a flashlight. Once their ghost has been caught, they will go back outside, where King Boo will give them their next clue.
Dry Bones: I did the last one, you do this one.
Boo: No, just no.
Dry Bones: Why not?
Boo: It’s racist.
Dry Bones: Whatever, dude.
Dry Bones grabs his Poltergust 3000 and a flashlight and heads over to King Boo.
King Boo: Welcome, mortal!
Dry Bones: But, I’m dead too.
King Boo: Pick from the box.
Dry Bones reaches into the box and pulls out a giant handful of potato salad.
Dry Bones: Potato salad?
King Boo: Oh, sorry, that’s for the picnic next week. Here’s your box.
Dry Bones: Jarvis?
King Boo: Ah, good… good.
Dry Bones is immediately teleported to the Pottery Room.
Dry Bones: What in the world is going on?
>>DK & Diddy
– second at route marker<<
DK: I’ve got
a banana!
Diddy: Yes, we know. Let’s just find this E. Gadd guy
DK: Wait a minute, I’ve got an idea.
DK grabs another banana and eats it. DK then grabs Diddy and runs into a bush.
>>Hamma, Bamma,
and Flare – third at route marker<<
Hamma: Let’s
go find this guy.
Bamma: He’s at the Ferris wheel, obviously.
Flare: How do you just know that, dude?
DK: NOW!
DK jumps out of the bush and throws a pillowcase over Bamma. Diddy then pummels the pillowcase with a large coconut; the lump inside falls over.
DK: You’re nothing without Bamma Power! I’ve got me a sack!
Diddy: Yeah, cinnamon bits!
Diddy then pulls out his popgun and shoots Flare in the face. DK and Diddy then run to the roller coaster where E. Gadd is waiting, DK carrying Bamma in the sack.
Hamma: What just happened?
Flare: I got hit in the face with a peanut.
Hamma: Not that, we just lost Bamma.
Flare: Oh my goodness! If we buy nachos, we get a hotdog half off! Wait, were you saying something?
Hamma: We’re doomed!
DK and Diddy approach E. Gadd.
E. Gadd: Just go hit the warp block.
Diddy: Whatever.
They hit it and are teleported to Luigi’s Mansion.
>>DK & Diddy – second at Roadblock<<
DK: You do it; I’ve got me a sack.
Diddy: Fine.
Diddy gets his equipment and reaches into the box.
King Boo: Ah, you got Sir Weston.
Diddy: Righteous!
Diddy gets teleported to the Cold Storage.
Diddy: Jeez, it’s cold!
Back outside…
Boo: Dude, what’s in the sack?
DK: Don’t worry about it.
Boo: Whatever, bro.
>>Mario &
Luigi – fourth at route marker<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – fifth at route marker<<
Mario: Yay!
Lemmy: Yay what?
Mario: We’re winning! Let’s go, Luigi.
Luigi: All right, Mario. I’ll check the snack bar, you check everywhere else.
Mario: Okay, Luigi, that sounds fair.
Iggy: Can we try that?
Lemmy: No.
Luigi then goes over to the snack bar to find Hamma, Flare, and a blue scarecrow.
Luigi: What’s up with the scarecrow?
Hamma: The monkeys took Bamma from us, so Flare is losing his grip on reality. I got him the scarecrow so he wouldn’t go completely insane.
Flare is seen trying to stuff cotton candy down the scarecrow’s apparent mouth.
Flare (loopy): C’mon, Bamma, you can eat some cotton candy. You always liked cotton candy, why don’t you like it now? Eat the food… EAT THE FOOD!
Hamma: Yeah, he’s gone completely bananas.
>>DK and Boo –
outside of Luigi’s Mansion<<
DK: And that’s
what really went down at…
DK becomes completely still
DK: Someone used the word banana.
DK pulls out a banana and eats it.
Boo: Whatever, monkey bro. I wonder what they’re doing in there.
>>Dry Bones –
Pottery Room<<
Dry Bones: I
swear, Jarvis…
Jarvis: I’m over here.
Dry Bones makes a leap for the jar, and smashes it.
Jarvis: Just kidding, I’m over here.
Dry Bones: You are going down!
>>Diddy – Cold
Storage<<
Diddy: So… cold…
and… annoyed.
Diddy is throwing snowballs at Sir Weston
Sir Weston: It’s not working, kid.
Diddy: It will!
Diddy continues to throw snowballs
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – Baby Park<<
Lemmy: We’re
totally going on the Ferris wheel.
Iggy: I’ll race you there!
They both sprint to the Ferris wheel. Just before they get there, however, Mario jumps in front of them.
Mario: Hah! I beat you both!
Lemmy: Oh sweet, there’s E. Gadd.
Mario: I have to go find Luigi.
Mario runs towards the snack bar.
>>Hamma, Luigi,
& an emotionally unstable Flare – snack bar<<
Flare: I swear,
man, the spiders are gonna get you, and you, and especially (points to
guy working at nachos stand* you! They hate nachos.
Hamma: Wait, why do you call yourself “The Nacho Stand”? Seriously, I think you could have been a little more creative.
Luigi: But what about that awesome commercial?
We see a hot pink panda bear dancing and singing, and an aqua blue lobster in a hula skirt playing a ukulele.
Hot Pink Panda: (singing) When you need to have nachos in your hand, you better come down to The Nacho Stand. Yeah!
Hamma: I died a little watching that commercial.
Mario: Weegee! I found him, he’s at the Ferris wheel; we need to go, go, and GO!
Mario and Luigi take off, with Hamma and Flare behind them.
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – third at Roadblock<<
Lemmy: Dude,
I’ve got skills at hunting monsters like these.
Iggy: Ok, but be out quick, though.
Lemmy: I will.
King Boo: Choose wisely.
Lemmy picks a ghost.
King Boo: Oooooooo, you got Boolossus.
Lemmy is transported to the Balcony.
Lemmy: That Boo is huge!
>>Diddy – Cold
Storage<<
Diddy: So… tired…
from throwing… snowballs.
Sir Weston: Are you ready to quit now and try something else?
Diddy: I’ll suck you up!
Diddy tries to suck up Sir Weston, but a giant icicle hits Diddy in the face.
Diddy: Ow!
Sir Weston: You poor, poor monkey.
>>Dry Bones –
Pottery Room<<
Dry Bones: *criminally-insane
tone* Where are you, buddy? Nya Nya Nya. You can’t hide forever!
Jarvis: I’m right here.
Dry Bones: RAAAAAAHHHHH!
Jarvis: Just kidding, I’m over here.
>>Mario &
Luigi, Hamma & Flare – Baby Park<<
Mario: I swear
he was here just a couple of seconds ago.
Luigi: Mario, where are we?
All four of them are in a porta-potty.
Hamma: This is cramped!
Flare: Give me the ring!
Flare accidentally tips over the porta-potty.
Hamma: Aw, jeez!
Flare: Give me the ring!
>>Morton &
Roy – sixth at route marker<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – seventh at route marker<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – eighth at route marker<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – ninth at route marker<<
Wario: We’re
all tied up.
Roy: Hey, we finished at least four lines of text ahead of you last leg.
Larry: Yeah, it doesn’t make sense.
Morton: If you think about it, four lines is a whole lot of text.
Ludwig: Exactly… Oh, wait.
Wario: You got your four lines back.
Wario and Waluigi then run off.
Yoshi: Let’s find him.
>>Lemmy – Balcony<<
Boolossus: This
is the great monster hunter?
Lemmy (in the corner): I want my mommy! Defend me, fichus!
Lemmy then chucks a fichus(?) at Boolossus.
Wacky: GIMB, what’s a fichus?
GIMB: Dude, I don’t know! I think it’s a band.
Wacky: Sounds like an Asian dish.
GIMB: Edit fichus to Sweet and Sour Chicken or something.
Wacky: All right, sounds okay.
Lemmy: Defend me, Shrimp Fried Rice!
Lemmy then chucks the dish at Boolossus.
Boolossus: Mmmm, tasty! The plant probably would have worked better.
Wacky: Wait, that’s what a fichus is; a plant?
GIMB: Dude, who cares?
Boolossus then picks up Lemmy and throws him across the Balcony. He smashes into the unicorn statue.
Lemmy: This gives me an idea.
Lemmy then takes out his Poltergust and captures Boolossus in the suction. He then smashes him into the point of the unicorn statue’s horn. Boolossus pops… and 15 Boos appear.
Lemmy: Oh my DAD! They’re everywhere!
Boo #7: Oh, w’d’ya say?
Boo #12: What’s the point? He’s going to capture us all anyway.
Boo #3: Whoo-hoo!
Lemmy: They’re all going down.
>>Ludwig & Larry – Baby Park<<
Ludwig: (quietly) Larry, I saw E. Gadd.
Larry: You did?
Ludwig: Yeah, he’s by the Ferris wheel.
Larry: Ok, I’ll fake a bathroom break.
Larry runs towards the bathroom
Roy: Where are you going?
Larry: I’ll be right back; I just need to use the bathroom.
Ludwig: Uh, me too.
They both run in the direction of the Ferris wheel. They hit the warp block and are teleported to Luigi’s Mansion.
>>Ludwig & Larry – fourth at Roadblock<<
Ludwig: I’ll do it.
He grabs the equipment and pulls a name.
King Boo: Ah, you got Madame Clairvoya.
Ludwig is teleported to the Fortune Teller’s Room.
Ludwig: I know how to use this.
Madame Clairvoya: I’ll go quietly, honest.
Ludwig: Oh, well, okay.
Madame Clairvoya: But before you do so, how about a fortune?
Ludwig: All right, I’ve got time.
Madame Clairvoya: Oh spirits from beyond, help me read the fortune of this young individual mortal.
There is a loud rumble.
Madame Clairvoya: I see it; your future looks very interesting, an event will occur very shortly, very suddenly, without warning. It’s rather hazy, so it might take a little to get exactly what it is. I see you have been through struggle as a child. It started when your parents gave birth to you first. This made you fight to prove you were the best. Roy was always stronger than you, that made you want to better at something else. You had to be; it only made sense you would be the smartest. However your inventions weren’t always good and would sometimes even slow you down, making it harder for you. You also started eating more as you found your love for chocolates. Now that we understand your struggle in the past, we can look toward the present, and once we understand your present we can truly see what lies in the future. So currently we know… … it finds you have been cared for by… ... Larry was soon taken as your… now Wendy is the true… we need to see what… .if only you would have seen the… kids will be kids… … … … … … … … … … … that you find… … … … … … love with… … … … ending of… … … … … … … … … … … … … .struggle… … … … … … … … … … … … ..in… … … … … … … … … … .your… … … … … … .past. … … … … … … … … .It … … … … … … … … … … … … … ..seems… … … … … … bacon… … … … … … very … … … … tire swing… … … … … … … … … … … .complicated. It is coming… very slowly… I’m getting… … .it… … very… … soon… … .in… ..a… … … … .minute… … … … … or two… … … … … … … … … … .I’m… … … … ..not… … … … … .exactly… … … … tinsel… … … … .sure … … … … … … … … … … … … … … kitten pajamas… … … … … … … … … … … … … .I… … … … … … … … … … ..somewhat… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … .. Know … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … . it… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … ...
At this point, Ludwig has completely passed out as Madame Clairvoya continues with her fortune.
>>Dry Bones –
Pottery Room<<
Dry Bones is
now completely wide-eyed, with foam dripping from his mouth.
Dry Bones: Where… are… you?
Jarvis: I’m… right… here.
Dry Bones then attempts to suck him up.
Jarvis: Nah, I’m right over here.
Dry Bones starts having a seizure.
>>Diddy – Cold
Storage<<
Diddy: All right,
dude, I’m freezing and I have no idea how to capture you.
Sir Weston: C’mon, it only took Luigi five minutes, at most.
Diddy: Well, Luigi is probably already on his way to who knows where.
>>Mario &
Luigi, Hamma & Flare – Baby Park<<
Luigi: All right,
we gotta find this guy.
Flare: I know what to do!
Flare starts to sniff the ground
Hamma: We gotta get Bamma back.
Luigi: Wait a minute, who’s that over there?
Mario: It’s E. Gadd… No, wait, it’s just Roy.
Roy: How do I even look like E. Gadd?
Hamma: Did anyone find him?
Roy: Well, we think Ludwig and Larry already found him, and we lost the other two groups that were with us. Where’s Bamma, anyway?
Hamma: Dude, if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. We definitely need to find him. Where’s the highest point in the park?
Morton: Probably the Ferris wheel.
Mario: Let’s go find it.
They all head over towards the Ferris wheel.
Roy: Oh wait, look who it is.
E. Gadd: How’s it going, guys?
Luigi: Not bad.
They all run up and hit the warp block.
>>Mario &
Luigi – fifth at Roadblock<<
>>Morton &
Roy – sixth at Roadblock<<
>>Hamma &
Flare – seventh at Roadblock<<
Hamma: Bamma!
DK: You!
Hamma: Just give me the sack, man.
DK: What’s in it for me?
Hamma: I’ll give you a banana.
DK: Deal!
They trade items.
DK: Yay!
Hamma: Bamma! You’re finally out!
Bamma: Dude, that sack was completely full of bananas!
Flare: All right, let’s go.
Hamma: Glad to see you’re back to normal.
Flare: Yeah, man. I’m gonna capture me a ghost.
Luigi: I’ve got dibs, bro.
Roy: This one is about pure strength; I’ve got it.
King Boo: Choose wisely.
Roy: Get out of my way!
Roy picks a name.
King Boo: Ah, you got Bogmire.
Luigi: Oooh, I think the only one worse is Boolossus. I’d hate to be the kid that got him.
>>Lemmy (That
Kid) – Balcony<<
Lemmy: Have mercy!
Boo #7 and Boo # 10 are holding Lemmy by his arms.
Boo #7: Oh, w’d’ya say, w’d’ya say, w’d’ya say?
Boo# 10: Yeah, daw. He already captured nine Boos, and the other six aren’t going to let themselves be captured.
Boo #3: Whoo-hoo!
Boo #3 flies right into Lemmy’s stomach.
Lemmy: Augh!
Boo #1: The Boo #1 loves this plan!
Boo #1 does the exact same thing.
Lemmy: Gah!
>> Luigi and Flare
– With King Boo<<
Luigi: Anyway,
although we’d love to see Lemmy get abused by Boos, we have to continue.
King Boo: I agree; pick one.
Luigi picks one.
King Boo: Lucky you. You got Neville.
Luigi: Excellent.
He gets teleported to the Study.
Flare: My turn!
Flare chooses one.
King Boo: You got Mr. Luggs.
Flare gets teleported to the Dining Room.
Flare: Sweet! Food!
However, his hand just goes through the food.
Flare: This is upsetting.
Flare looks over to see Mr. Luggs pigging out.
Flare: Fatty!
Jeff: What’s with the fat jokes? Geez.
GIMB: Genius! That’s comedy gold.
Wacky: No.
GIMB: You don’t think it’s funny that I brought back Jeff the Bullet Bill from the previous leg?
Wacky: No.
GIMB: Whatever.
>>Dry Bones –
Pottery Room<<
Dry Bones, partially
crazy, is searching frantically throughout the pots.
Dry Bones: Got it!
Dry Bones sucks up an ice elemental ghost. He then shoots it at Jarvis.
Jarvis: You little punk!
Jarvis starts throwing, uh, jars at Dry Bones.
Dry Bones: You’re gonna have to do better than that.
Jarvis then starts throwing pots at an extremely fast rate, exposing his heart.
Dry Bones: Bulls-eye!
Dry Bones then starts to suck up Jarvis.
Jarvis: Ahhhhhh!
Dry Bones soon captures Jarvis.
Dry Bones: Finally!
Dry Bones is then teleported back to King Boo.
King Boo: Congratulations. Here is your clue.
>>Dry Bones & Boo – first at route marker<<
Dry Bones: Sweet, we get to ride a blimp.
Wacky: Teams must now fly by blimp to Pallet Town. The blimps, however, will not depart until three teams have finished the Roadblock. Three blimps will depart, with the first two carrying three teams each and the last one carrying the last four teams. Once they arrive at Pallet Town, teams will find Professor Oak, who will give them their next clue.
Boo: Great! Now we have to wait for two more teams… Oh wait, Luigi’s done.
Luigi: Yeah, I’m good.
King Boo: How’d you finish so quickly?
Luigi: Well, here’s how it happened.
Awesome flashback…
Luigi: So, I went in there and was like, “Yo, dawg, you gotta get in my Polter or I’m gonna go ninja on you.” And so he was like, “Oh, Luigi, you’re so strong and muscular; don’t hurt me.” And I was like, “Yo, brotha, please, I don’t wanna lay down the smack, but I gotta.” And he was like, “No, Luigi, please have mercy.” And I was like, “Make me a sandwich.” And he was like…
King Boo: Wait; I highly doubt you said, “Yo, brotha, please.” So, Luigi, we don’t need to hear the fake story.
Luigi: Fine, I just knew how to capture him and it was easy.
>>Mario & Luigi – second at route marker<<
Mario: I guess it’s just time to wait.
>>Peach &
Yoshi, Wario & Waluigi – Baby Park<<
Peach: Guys,
we need to find him now.
Yoshi: We should just ask someone.
Wario: Yeah, we could just go back to Baby Mini-Camp and ask Baby Mario.
Waluigi: But I’m scared of Baby Mini-Camp!
Wario: How bad could it have been?
Yoshi: Believe me, it was bad.
They run over there.
Baby Luigi: What’s up, guys?
Peach: Have you seen E. Gadd?
Baby Luigi: Oh yeah, he’s right in front of the Ferris wheel. Didn’t it say so in your clue?
Waluigi: No.
Baby Luigi: Fine; Wacky…
Wacky: No, I’m not reading it again. If you want to read it again, just scroll up. Jeez, you guys are so lazy.
All four of them run to the Ferris wheel. They find E. Gadd and hit the warp block.
>>Peach &
Yoshi – eighth at Roadblock<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – ninth at Roadblock<<
Wario: I’ll do it; you’ll be too scared.
Peach: I’ll brave it up.
Wario then picks from the list.
King Boo: You got Biff Atlas.
Wario is teleported to the Rec Room. Peach then chooses.
King Boo: You got Miss Petunia.
Peach is teleported to the Second Floor Bathroom.
>>Ludwig – Fortune-Teller’s
Room<<
Madame Clairvoya:
Aw, he fell asleep. He shall be punished for his ignorance. Whenever he
hears the word “textbook”, he shall throw cheesepuffs at Larry.
She snaps her fingers. Ludwig wakes up.
Madame Clairvoya: You got all that, right?
Ludwig: Yeah, about the kitten pajamas; yeah, I totally got that.
Madame Clairvoya: Fine, you are free to capture me.
Ludwig: Sweet.
Ludwig then easily sucks her up. He is teleported back to King Boo.
>>Ludwig & Larry – third at route marker<<
Boo: Sweet, we got three.
They all run to the blimp on top of the mansion.
Pilot: Next stop is Kanto.
The blimp takes off.
>>Lemmy – Balcony<<
Boo #1: Boo #1
is upset that Lemmy captured Boo #6.
Boo #14: Ohjeezhe’salmostgotallofus!
Boo #10: Yeah, cus, but he ain’t got all of us.
Boo #3: Whoo-hoo!
Boo #3 then plows into Lemmy.
Lemmy: Will you cut that out?!
Boo #7: W’d’ya say w’d’ya say?
Lemmy: And you too.
Lemmy then freezes Boo #10 and sucks him up.
Boo #10: No, cus!
Boo #14: OhmyDADhecaughtBoo#10we’redoomedWE’REDOOMED!
Boo #1: Boo #1 wonders what we should do next.
Boo #3: Whoo-hoo!
He then takes out Lemmy’s legs.
>>Diddy – Cold
Storage<<
Half of the Cold
Storage is covered in peanut shells.
Diddy: This will work, I gotta feeling.
Sir Weston: Kid, what is ice weak against?
Diddy: Fire.
Sir Weston: Then what do you think you should use?
Diddy: More peanuts!
Sir Weston then lets out an annoyed sigh.
>>Flare – Dining
Room<<
Flare: I wonder
what will happen if I do this.
Flare lights all of the food on fire. Mr. Luggs becomes very angry and starts to shoot fireballs at Flare.
Flare: Not your best idea.
The fireballs hit Flare, but nothing seems to happen. Eventually, Mr. Luggs tires out and collapses on the table, exposing his heart.
Flare: Oh, this is really easy.
Flare then sucks up Mr. Luggs. He is then teleported back to King Boo.
>>Hamma, Bamma, & Flare – fourth at route marker<<
Hamma: Great, now we’re going to have to wait all of this time.
Bamma: Don’t worry; mostly every team is here.
Flare: I think this is a cue that the last team should start, don’t you think?
Bamma: That’s what I would do if I were the authors.
Wacky: I’ve got a great idea; let’s have Bowser and Jr. start.
GIMB: You’re a genius! Man, what a plot twist!
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at route marker<<
Bowser Jr: Papa, we stink.
Bowser: Nonsense, my boy; we’re not in last.
Bowser Jr: We just avoided elimination both legs.
Bowser: Whatever, let’s just find E. Gadd. But first, we should ride the roller coaster.
Bowser then gets in line for the roller coaster. Bowser Jr. lets out an annoyed sigh, similar to Sir Weston’s.
>>Roy – Graveyard<<
Roy: Man, this
gives me the creeps.
Bogmire: Boo.
Roy: Ahhhhhh!
Bogmire: Haha, I scared you.
Roy: Well, then you’re going down.
Roy then charges at Bogmire, but goes right through him.
Roy: Darn it, I’m going to have to use more than just brute strength.
DK: I have a feeling that someone just used a banana joke.
DK then eats a banana.
Iggy: Dude, you’re totally wrong; no one said anything like that.
DK: I know, I just wanted to eat a banana. Besides, we’re gonna be here forever. I can guarantee that Diddy is doing something stupid right now.
>>Diddy – Cold
(Peanut?) Storage<<
By now, the entire
Cold Storage is knee deep in peanut shells.
Sir Weston: You gotta stop, kid.
Diddy: Oh yeah? Dodge this.
Diddy then lights all of the peanuts on fire.
Sir Weston: You idiot! You just lit peanut oil on fire!
Diddy: So?
Sir Weston: Peanut oil is used for TNT!
Diddy: What?
BOOM!
The entire room is now covered in a thick coating of peanut butter.
Sir Weston: So… sticky.
Diddy: I used to be furry, but now I have peanut butter in places that it shouldn’t go.
Diddy then sucks up all of the peanut butter, including Sir Weston.
Diddy: Oh, I win!
Diddy gets teleported back to King Boo.
King Boo: Why is your Poltergust so big?
Diddy: Wait, don’t open it!
Too late. King Boo opens it and a giant peanut butter explosion similar to the one in the Cold Storage occurs. Diddy, DK, King Boo, Hamma, Bamma, Flare, Iggy, Morton, Yoshi, and Waluigi are now completely covered in peanut butter.
DK: Yay!
DK then starts eating as much peanut butter as he can. He then puts Iggy into his mouth.
Iggy: Let go of me!
DK: You’re so smooth… and creamy.
Morton: Dude, that’s just weird, man!
DK: Who cares if it’s weird? We’re done!
>>DK & Diddy – fifth at route marker<<
Diddy: I wonder who’s going to be the last team.
Morton: I know who it’s not going to be.
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – Baby Park<<
Bowser: Two cotton
candies, please.
Bowser Jr: Papa, we really should be looking for this guy.
Bowser: We are; now we know he’s not at the snack stand.
Bowser Jr: Great, now let’s look somewhere else.
Bowser: Great idea. Let’s check the arcade; I bet I’m in one of the games.
Bowser Jr. lets out another annoyed sigh.
>>Wario – Rec
Room<<
Wario: Oh jeez,
he’s huge.
Biff Atlas: That’s because I work out all day, every day, porky.
Wario: I’m not porky; I’m just big-boned.
Biff Atlas: You must have a huge bone in your butt then.
Wario: Oh yeah? Eat the gas.
Biff Atlas: What?
BOOM!
Wario: Success, he’s knocked out. Wait, how do I use this Poltergust thingy?
Wario then accidentally sucks up his own nose.
Wario: This isn’t good!
Wario, in an attempt to free his nose, runs backwards into a rack of dumbbells. He knocks one over, which lands on his foot.
Wario: Yow!
>>Roy – Graveyard<<
Roy is surrounded
by three Bogmires.
Bogmires: Which one of us is it, Roy?
Roy: I don’t know; can I have a hint?
Bogmires: It’s to the left of the other’s right.
Roy: What kind of hint is that? I’m not here to play twenty questions.
Bogmires: How unfortunate.
Another Bogmire appears with a metal rod. He hits Roy in the back of the head, knocking him to the ground.
Roy: Ow! Was that necessary?
Bogmire: Yes, yes it was.
>>Peach – 2nd
Floor Bathroom<<
Peach: Are you
almost done?
Miss Petunia: I’ll be out soon.
Peach: All right, but could you hurry up?
Miss Petunia: All right, I’ll be out in two seconds.
Peach: Okay, take your time.
>>Lemmy – Balcony<<
Lemmy: All right,
there are four left; I’m taking them all out right now.
Lemmy runs up the unicorn statue, does a backflip off of it, and sprays ice all over.
Boo #1: Boo #1 says No!
Boo #7: W’d’ya say, w’d’ya say, w’d’ya say, w’d’ya say, w’d’ya say, w’d’ya say?!
Boo #14: Ohjeezhe’sgonnagetmehe’sgonnagetallofusWE’REDOOMED!
Lemmy: Yeah!
There are three Boos frozen on the ground.
Lemmy: Wait a minute, where’s the last one?
Boo #3: Whoo-hoo!
Boo #3 then hits Lemmy in the head.
Lemmy: Oh, it is on now!
Boo #3: Whoo-hoo!
The Boo then charges back at Lemmy. Lemmy sprays the ground with ice, covering himself with a mist. Boo #3 flies into the mist and flies out the other end frozen. Lemmy walks out of the mist, completely covered in ice. He then sucks up the Boo.
Lemmy: G-g-g-g-otcha!
Lemmy is then teleported back to King Boo.
>>Lemmy & Iggy – sixth at route marker<<
Lemmy: Let’s go!
DK: Okay!
The blimp carrying Hamma, Bamma, Flare, DK, Diddy, Lemmy, and Iggy then takes off.
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – Baby Park<<
Bowser: He wasn’t
at the arcade or the other snack stand.
Bowser Jr: Yeah, now let’s look somewhere important.
Bowser: Yeah, that makes sense, so let’s go to the bathroom; I really got to go.
Bowser Jr: No, we’re going to the Ferris wheel, so we can see well.
Bowser: All right.
They run over to the Ferris wheel.
E. Gadd: It’s about time; jeez!
Bowser: Sorry; it takes us awhile.
They hit the warp block and are teleported to Luigi’s Mansion.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – last at Roadblock<<
Bowser: I’ll do this one.
King Boo: Hey Bowser, what’s up?
Bowser: Hey, King Boo, help me out with an easy ghost.
King Boo: No, just pick.
Bowser picks one.
King Boo: You got Spooky.
Bowser gets teleported to the Boneyard.
Bowser: I know how to trick dogs.
Bowser pulls out a Bony Beetle from his shell.
Bowser: Go get him, buddy.
Spooky then starts to chase the Bony Beetle. Bowser pulls out the Poltergust and sucks up Spooky.
Bowser: Success.
Bowser is then teleported back to King Boo.
>>Bowser & Bowser Jr. – seventh at route marker<<
Bowser: And now we wait.
Bowser Jr: Is this the first time we’ve ever waited?
Bowser: Yes. Let’s go back to the Park.
King Boo: Sorry, it was a one way block.
Bowser: Dang it!
>>First three
teams – Blimp<<
Larry: Look,
we’re almost there.
Mario: Yeah, it’s gonna be great.
The blimp lands right in Pallet Town. They run to the clue box.
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – first at Detour<<
>>Mario &
Luigi – second at Detour<<
>>Ludwig &
Larry – third at Detour<<
Boo: Detour: Run it or catch it?
Wacky: A Detour is a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons. In this Detour, that team will have to take on a challenge that every Pokémon trainer experiences in their everyday lives. In run it, teams must run to all of the Pokémon gyms within the Kanto region. They do not have to face off against a gym leader; they only must reach them. When they get to a gym, the gym leader will give them a badge. Once all eight badges have been collected, they will return to Pallet Town and give the badges to Professor Oak, who will give them their next clue. In Catch It, teams will go to Professor Oak and will be assigned three random Pokémon found in the Kanto region that they will need to catch. He will give them 10 Pokeballs that they will use to capture the Pokémon. If they run out of Pokeballs, they must go to a Poke Mart in order to buy some more. The racers themselves will do battle with the Pokémon in order to weaken them. Once they have caught all three Pokémon, they will go back to Professor Oak, who will give them their next clue.
Dry Bones: We’re doing Run It; we can fly.
Boo: Amen.
Dry Bones hops on Boo and they fly away.
Larry: That is so cheap!
Ludwig: I know how to even the playing field. I created a Poke-Translator.
Larry: Is that thing going to explode?
Ludwig: Probably.
Larry: Whatever; which one are we doing?
Ludwig: We’ll do Catch It; I’ll get the easy and the medium guy, and you can get the hard guy.
Larry: All right, seems fair, but I’ll need the translator.
Ludwig: Deal.
They go over to Professor Oak.
Professor Oak: Your three Pokémon that you must catch are a Poliwag, a Weepinbell, and a Kangaskhan.
Larry: All right, I know exactly what he’s talking about.
Professor Oak lets out an annoyed sigh.
Professor Oak: Here’s your Pokedex.
Larry received Pokedex.
Ludwig: All right Larry, I already caught my two guys.
Larry: What?
Ludwig: Yeah, I’ve been here before. I’m going to go grab an iced tea and chat with Professor Oak.
Larry lets out an annoyed sigh.
Larry: Fine, this might as well be a Roadblock, but whatever.
Larry walks out. He quickly finds an Oddish.
Larry: Do you know where a Kangaskhan is?
Oddish: Yeah, there’s a whole group of them over the hill.
Larry: Thanks.
Larry walks over the hill to see a bunch of Kangaskhan meditating.
Kangaskhan: Mal-de-tah! Mal-de-tah!
Larry: What are they doing?
Unfortunately, the Kangaskhan hear him and turn to him. The leader starts walking toward him.
Kangaskhan: Mal-de-tah! Mal-de-tah! Mal-de-tah! Mal-de-tah! Kee-nay-oot-tah-sai-chunga-blunga!
Larry: What are they saying? I swear, it seems that the authors do this just to tick me off.
Some random day, at three in the morning, GIMB suddenly startles awake.
GIMB: Today I feel like making Larry’s life miserable. Ha-ha-ha!
***
GIMB: See Wacky, wasn’t it funny that I just came in there?
Wacky: No GIMB, you’re not funny!
Larry: What am
I going to do?
Suddenly, the
screen starts to go black.
Larry: What screen? Wait a minute, why’s my vision getting fuzzy?
Wild Kangaskhan has appeared.
Larry: Yeah, I saw it; it was doing those weird chants.
Wild Kangaskhan used Hyper Beam.
Larry: Wait, what was that?
Boom! It is super effective!
Larry: Wait a minute; Normal-type moves aren’t super effective against anything!
Announcer: It is to Larry-types.
Larry lets out an annoyed sigh.
>>Mario &
Luigi – Pallet Town<<
Mario: Okay Luigi,
I’m not in the mood to fight, not after what happened last leg.
Luigi: Yeah, I don’t even think we need a flashback. Let’s do run it.
>>Wario – Rec
Room<<
Wario: Jeez,
I’m tangled in the Poltergust.
Wario then turns it on to max power, sucking up everything.
Wario: If I suck up everything, I can’t possibly miss him.
Soon enough, the room is completely empty except for Wario and Biff Atlas. Wario lets out an annoyed sigh. He then sucks up Biff Atlas and gets teleported to King Boo.
King Boo: Why is the Poltergust so big?
Wario: Wait, don’t open it!
Too late. A bunch of exercise equipment is sprayed all over the place. King Boo lets out an annoyed sigh.
>>Wario & Waluigi – eighth at route marker<<
Bowser: Take a seat, my friends.
Wario: Oh yeah, I forgot we are still in an alliance.
Bowser: We’re going to have to take out Morton and Roy; they’re better than all of us.
Wario: Hmm, you’re right.
>>Roy – Graveyard<<
Roy: Get your
butt over here so I can kick your butt.
Bogmire: Which one is it, Roy?
Roy: Is it to the left of the other’s right?
Bogmire: No, it’s to the left of the other’s right’s other’s left.
Roy lets out an annoyed sigh.
Roy: DAD, it’s so confusing.
Roy then sucks up the middle one.
Roy: Did I get it?
Bogmire: Indubitably.
Roy: So I win?
A Bogmire hits Roy again with a metal rod.
Bogmire: No.
Roy: Fine!
Roy turns around and sucks up the one who hit him, which turns out to be the real one.
Roy: Bull’s-eye!
Roy then gets teleported back to King Boo.
>>Morton & Roy – ninth at route marker<<
Bowser: Take a seat, my sons.
Roy: ‘Sup, King Dad?
Bowser Jr: Hi Roy!
Roy: Shut up, twerp.
Morton: Who are we waiting for?
Yoshi: Me. Stupid Peach, what’s taking her so long?
>>Peach – 2nd
Floor Bathroom<<
Peach: Excuse
me, but you’ve been in there for two hours now. Get out.
Miss Petunia:
I’m almost done.
Peach: I said get-
She sucks up Miss Petunia.
Peach: -out? That’s all I had to do? Jeez, that had to be the easiest ghost ever.
Peach then gets teleported back to King Boo.
>>Peach & Yoshi – last at route marker<<
The last four teams get on the last blimp.
Yoshi: I wonder what they’re doing in Pallet Town.
Roy: I guarantee it’s nothing fun.
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – Cinnabar Island<<
Dry Bones: Dude,
you’re a monster.
Boo: Yeah man, we already got seven of the eight badges. We just need to go to Viridian City to get the last badge.
Dry Bones: Wait, it’s in Viridian City? Why didn’t we get the badge when we flew over there at least three times?
Boo: Really? I must have missed it.
Dry Bones: Let’s just go.
They are now flying over the Viridian Forest.
Boo: Oh, here’s that forest.
A Pidgeotto then divebombs towards them. Boo then, instinctively, turns invisible, forgetting that Dry Bones is on top of him. Dry Bones then starts to plummet to the ground.
Dry Bones: Ahhhhhh!
Boo then rams into Pidgeotto, knocking it out and sending it toward the ground.
Boo: Dry Bones! I’ll go get that badge, then I’ll go find Dry Bones.
Boo then continues to fly towards Viridian City.
>>Mario &
Luigi – Viridian Forest<<
Mario: C’mon,
Luigi. We’re almost out of the forest.
Luigi: So? It doesn’t matter; we only have one badge. We need seven more and we don’t have a better way of transportation.
At that moment, a Pidgeotto crashes on Luigi.
Mario: Oh my goodness! This poor bird! I need to take this to the Pokémon Center.
Mario then picks up the Pidgeotto and walks towards Pewter City, leaving Luigi unconscious on the ground.
>>Larry – Pokémon
Field<<
Larry is getting
horribly mauled by the Kangaskhan.
Kangaskhan: Who’s the man?! Who’s the man?!
Larry: You are, you are!
Kangaskhan: That’s what I thought!
Kangaskhan then punts Larry about the distance of a football field.
>>Ludwig – Professor
Oak’s Lab<<
Ludwig: So, how’s
it going, Oak?
Professor Oak: It’s going great, Ludwig.
Ludwig: Make any new discoveries lately?
Professor Oak: Yes, actually, I have been working on this new theorem about using Shellders with Porygons that’s absolutely astounding. It was founded by Professor Elm and is discussed in this textbook that he published…
Ludwig then goes into a weird trance. He runs into Professor Oak’s pantry, grabs a bag of cheese puffs, and runs out the door.
Professor Oak: Was it something I said?
>>Larry – Pokémon
Field<<
Larry: C’mon
guys, this is just cruel.
Larry is tied upside down and hanging from a tree branch. The Kangaskhan are blindfolding each other and taking turns hitting Larry with a stick.
Larry: Look! Ludwig’s here to rescue me!
Instead, Ludwig takes a handful of cheese puffs and throws it at Larry.
Larry: What was that?
Ludwig: What was what?
The Kangaskhan now take the cheese puffs and start throwing them at Larry.
Ludwig: Ha, they’re throwing cheese puffs at you.
Larry: You encouraged them!
Ludwig: I did not.
Ludwig then picks up a blindfold.
Ludwig: Hey, someone give me a stick.
Larry: Ludwig!
Ludwig: Sorry.
Ludwig then throws a Pokeball at a Kangaskhan. It wiggles twice and breaks free.
Kangaskhan: RAWR!
Ludwig: Crud.
A couple of seconds later, both Ludwig and Larry are hanging upside down from the tree.
Larry: I really hate you for this, you know that?
>>Hamma, Bamma,
& Flare – fourth at Detour<<
>>DK & Diddy
– fifth at Detour<<
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – sixth at Detour<<
DK: C’mon, Diddy,
which one should we do?
Diddy: I think I should just go in that bush and tie my shoe…
DK: Stop getting out of work! Look, we’ll just do Catch It, capture three Pokémon, eat a banana, and be on our merry way. That reminds me…
DK pulls out a banana and eats it. Diddy lets out an annoyed sigh.
DK: Who’s our Pokémon, Professor Maple?
Professor Oak: It’s Oak.
DK: All right, Professor Hazel.
Professor Oak lets out an annoyed sigh.
Professor Oak: Your Pokémon are Eevee, Haunter, and Machamp.
Diddy: Gimme one of them Poke-thingies.
DK: All right, an Eevee looks like this. *DK shows Diddy a picture* This is going to be easy.
Diddy: Why do I have the feeling that this is going to be the hardest task ever?
DK: Whatever, kid. Let’s go.
Lemmy: That sounds like fun; let’s also get three Pokémon.
Iggy: Yeah, hopefully we get lucky.
Professor Oak: Your three Pokémon are Zubat, Pinsir, and Aerodactyl.
Lemmy: We got this.
Hamma: What are you thinking, guys?
Flare: We’ll be able to utilize our three-man group by splitting up in the Run It task.
Hamma: Deal; Flare and I will go north. Bamma, all you have to do is go to Cinnabar Island. We’ll meet up in Fuchsia City and then we’ll head back to Pallet Town.
Bamma: Dude, that’s a 10-mile swim!
Hamma: You got it, kid.
Bamma lets out an annoyed sigh and then jumps into the water.
>>Dry Bones –
Viridian Forest<<
Dry Bones: I
am so lost.
Dry Bones looks around.
Dry Bones: Boo!
No reply is made. Dry Bones lets out an annoyed sigh. Dry Bones turns around to see a Bellsprout staring at him.
Dry Bones: Hey, little fella. Do you want some food? Here, have a peanut.
Dry Bones hands it a peanut. It just continues to stare at him.
Dry Bones: Okay, I’m gonna go look for Boo; good luck.
Dry Bones starts to walk and trips over something.
Dry Bones: Augh! What was that… Luigi?
Dry Bones sees Luigi’s unconscious body lying on the ground.
Dry Bones: Whatever.
Dry Bones turns around to see the Bellsprout still staring at him intensely.
Dry Bones: Go away!
GIMB then chucks the computer at the wall.
*Standing by… technical difficulties*
20 minutes later…
Wacky: Why’d you throw my laptop at the wall?
GIMB: Did you notice how many lines started with Dry Bones?
Wacky: Yes, I am aware of that, just go back to the story.
GIMB: Fine, fine.
Dry Bones… lol… .starts to run away. He then trips over a tree root.
Dry Bones: Ahh!
>>Mario – Pewter
City<<
Mario: Thanks,
Brock!
Brock: Don’t mention it, Mario; it’s a pretty sweet Pidgeotto.
Mario: Yeah, I found it.
Brock: If you jump on it, it can fly you places.
Mario: Really? Go, Pidgeotto!
Pidgeotto: Pdjho!
Mario then jumps on its back, flying to Cerulean City. He lands right in front of the gym, runs inside, and comes out with the badge.
Mario: Wow, Pidgeotto! You’re a much better partner that Luigi!
Pidgeotto: Pdjho!
>>DK & Diddy
– Pokémon Field<<
DK: So how do
we plan to do this?
Diddy: DK, we’re going to need a banana.
DK: Great idea!
DK pulls one out and is about to eat.
Diddy: Actually, we need to use it as bait.
DK: No, I can never sacrifice a banana.
Diddy: C’mon, it’s one banana; you’ll live.
Diddy then puts the banana right next to a bush. He and DK then jump into the bush.
Diddy: Ha ha, I’m back in the bush.
DK lets out an annoyed sigh.
Diddy: Quiet, here comes one now.
An Eevee walks up to the banana and starts to nibble on it. DK, no longer able to control himself, full out punches the cute, adorable Eevee in the face.
DK: My banana!
DK then proceeds to eat the banana.
Diddy: Oh my god, I think you killed it!
DK: Relax.
DK then throws a Pokeball at the Eevee. The ball captures the Eevee.
DK: See, there you go.
Diddy: Dude, this is bad. We could go to court.
DK: Diddy, we’re not going to go to-
DK and Diddy suddenly appear in a courtroom.
DK: How did we get here?
Diddy: Don’t ask; just accept it.
The lawyer walks into the courtroom.
Diddy: No way!
Piranha Plant Lawyer: Hello again.
Diddy: Man, these jokes are horrible.
GIMB: Personally, I think they’re funny.
Wacky: I think they’re dumb. Wait a minute, I think you’re dumb.
GIMB: Harsh words, man, harsh words.
Lawyer: Guilty!
Juror #2: Guilty!
Juror #8: Guilty!
The judge then slams his gavel.
Judge: Guilty!
The Bailiff whips Diddy.
Bailiff: Guilty.
Diddy: Wait a minute; DK was the one who punched it.
Judge: Yes, but you’re the one who lay down the banana, which makes you guilty.
Lawyer: Guilty!
Juror #2: Guilty!
Juror #8: Guilty!
The judge then slams his gavel.
Judge: Guilty!
The Bailiff whips Diddy again.
Bailiff: Guilty.
DK: Am I free to go?
Judge: Yes, DK, you are off the hook.
DK: Cool!
DK is then teleported back to the Pokémon field.
DK: All right, next is Haunter. I can probably check in that creepy house.
>>Ludwig &
Larry – Pokémon Field<<
Ludwig: You do
realize that Professor Oak is a very incredible man, right?
Larry: Do you think I care? Look what they have in their hands!
The Kangaskhan are dancing around with meter sticks.
Kangaskhan: Tal-lay-bah!
They then hit them.
Larry: This is cruel.
Ludwig: You know, they could use hyper beam and totally destroy us, so this is actually quite nice.
Larry: We gotta do something. Ludwig, where’s that translator thingy?
Ludwig: I gave it to you, remember?
Larry: Oh, yeah. Hold on.
Larry then bites the translator and throws it at one of the Kangaskhan. It explodes on impact and the explosion singes Larry’s ropes.
Larry: Go Pokeball!
Larry throws one at the Kangaskhan on the ground.
Larry: I got it!
Kangaskhan: TAL-LAY-BAH! TAL-LAY-BAH! TAL-LAY-BAH! TAL-LAY-BAH! TAL-LAY-BAH! TAL-LAY-BAH!
Larry: Ahhhhhhh!
Ludwig: Help me!
Larry then uses his claws to slice through Ludwig’s ropes. Ludwig is free, but at this point, they are hit with four hyper beams.
Professor Oak: Wow, that’s a large explosion. I wonder what’s going on over there.
Ludwig and Larry land right in front of Oak, completely charred.
Professor Oak: Hey! Where’s my cheese puffs?
Ludwig: What are you talking about?!
Larry: See, I told you that you threw some at me.
Ludwig: Fine, fine. Here’s your Pokémon; just give us the clue.
>>Ludwig & Larry – first at route marker<<
Larry: Go to the Pit Stop at the Indigo Plateau.
Wacky: Teams must travel to the Indigo Plateau, a building where a trainer may face the Elite Four, and the Pit Stop for this leg of the race. The last team to check in here will be executed.
GIMB: Wait, what?
Wacky: Sorry, I meant eliminated.
Larry: Yay! We’re almost done. Run, Ludwig, run!
They run and see Wacky and Ash Ketchum at the Pit Stop. They jump on the mat.
Ash: Welcome to Kanto!
Wacky: Ludwig and Larry, you are team number 1!
>>LUDWIG & LARRY – FIRST PLACE<<
Larry: Yeah!
Ludwig: What do we win?
Wacky: As winners of this leg of the race, you win TM07 – Hail.
Larry: Sweet, I call using it.
Larry wants to learn the move Hail. However, Larry already knows four moves. Should a move be deleted and replaced with Hail?
Ludwig: Uh, I guess? Let’s go with yes.
Which move should
be forgotten?
Larry’s Moves:
Claw
Fireball
Tornado
Tennis Racket
Ludwig: Jeez, Tennis Racket, forget that.
1, 2, and… … … Poof! Larry forgot how to use Tennis Racket. And… Larry learned Hail!
Larry: Sweet! In the next game, I’d better know how to use Hail.
>>Lemmy &
Iggy – Mt. Moon<<
Iggy: There’s
so many Zubats in here!
Lemmy: Yeah, we only need to catch one, though.
Iggy throws a Pokeball and catches one.
Iggy: Sweet!
Lemmy: Now we have to capture a Pinsir. I’m sure we can find one outside.
They go outside and, sure enough, a Pinsir is sitting down. It pulls out a fire truck lunchbox, pulls out a bologna sandwich out of that, and starts to enjoy its meal.
Iggy: I didn’t realize that Pokémon had lunchboxes.
Lemmy: All right, dude, we got this. Take this bat, hit it over the head, knock it out, and then I’ll throw a Pokeball.
Iggy: Sounds good enough for me.
Iggy then walks quietly behind the Pinsir. He then hits it on the head. The Pinsir turns around angrily.
Iggy: Lemmy! Help!
Lemmy lets out an annoyed sigh. Lemmy rolls one of his balls at the Pinsir. The Pinsir trips and is knocked out. Lemmy then catches it.
Lemmy: You know what, Iggy, if it wasn’t for me, this group would be doomed. I’m pretty sure I can do this task all by myself.
They walk a few feet and see an Aerodactyl charging at them.
Iggy: All by yourself go get him, champ!
Lemmy: Uh oh.
>>Hamma &
Flare – Route 5<<
Hamma: Misty
was nice.
Flare: These next three cities are right next to each other, according to the map.
Hamma: Yeah, and it’s nice that we are together, because it will save time when we get to Fuchsia City.
Flare: How do you think Bamma’s doing right now?
>>Bamma – Cinnabar
Island<<
Bamma is lying
on the beach, sobbing.
Bamma: So tired… so fat… need badge.
Blaine: Here you go, kid, and remember, don’t give up.
Bamma: You’re the best.
Bamma then jumps back into the water.
Bamma: I hate swimming.
A Gyarados then surfaces from the water.
Bamma: This is how it ends, I guess.
The Gyarados then picks up Bamma and starts to swim towards Fuchsia City.
Bamma: Yeah, Gyarados! Here, have a chicken wing.
The Gyarados then drops him off at the shores of Route 19.
Bamma: I guess this is the end, my friend.
The Gyarados then jumps onto dry land.
Bamma: That is awesome! Here, have a chicken wing.
>>Luigi – Viridian
Forest<<
Luigi finally
wakes up.
Luigi: Jeez, how long was I out? And why do I smell like bird?
Dry Bones then runs into Luigi.
Dry Bones: You gotta help me, man. They’re following me.
Luigi: Who are they?
Dry Bones points behind himself. Luigi looks to see 17 Bellsprout standing there.
Luigi: Fine, I’ll help you, but you have to help me find Mario.
Dry Bones: Sounds like a deal.
Luigi: For most animals, you just have to talk to them.
Dry Bones: All right, I’ll give it a shot.
Dry Bones walks up to the Bellsprout.
Dry Bones: Hey, little guys, how about we leave me alone?
The Bellsprout then sprays toxic all over Dry Bones.
Dry Bones: Augh!
Luigi: You did it wrong, let me show you how it’s done.
Luigi walks up to them.
Luigi: Bow to your master!
The Bellsprouts all bow to him.
Dry Bones: What?!
Luigi: Now, attack the bones with Stun Spore.
The Bellsprouts spray Dry Bones with a yellow mist.
Dry Bones: Hey, what’s going on? I can’t move!
Luigi: Exactly.
Luigi then picks up the paralyzed Dry Bones and puts him in a hole in a tree.
Luigi: C’mon, my army, let’s go find Mario.
Dry Bones: No!
Luigi then walks away with the Bellsprouts.
>>DK – Creepy
Mansion<<
DK: I hate ghosts!
Gengar: Nyah!
DK: I’m not even supposed to be catching you!
DK punches the Gengar, but his fist goes right through it.
DK: There’s my guy!
A Haunter flies over to them.
Haunter: Blah!
DK lets out an annoyed sigh. The Haunter then licks him.
DK: That’s just gross! I need Diddy here, because all of my moves are Fighting-type.
>>Diddy – Piranha
Plant Courtroom<<
Diddy: C’mon,
guys, you gotta let me go!
Piranha Plants: I don’t think we will.
Diddy: Fine, then I’m just going to need to escape. We need some intense techno music.
Diddy then brings out a boombox. He then blasts a techno song, which gets all of the Piranha Plants dancing.
Diddy: Annnnnnnnd Peace!
Diddy then walks out.
Diddy: Where am I?
Diddy is on a frozen island.
Diddy: Am I in the Cold Storage again?
Sir Weston: Not yet, my friend!
Diddy lets out an annoyed sigh. A giant, 6-foot bird comes up behind Diddy.
Diddy: Holy cow!
Articuno is staring intensely at Diddy.
Diddy: Do you wanna help me, giant bird thing?
Articuno: Yes, Diddy, I would love to.
Diddy: You can talk?
Articuno: Yes, Diddy, all legendary birds can.
Lugia: Exactly!
Ho-oh: Yeah, now hurry up; we got a poker game to get back to.
Articuno: My friend Zapdos will take you to your friend.
Diddy: Sweet!
Zapdos then flies Diddy at an incredible speed.
Diddy: Woah!
Zapdos: You’re getting off now.
Diddy: What? We’re still 400 feet in the air!
Zapdos then does a barrel roll, causing Diddy to fall into the creepy mansion beneath him.
Diddy: I’m here, DK!
DK: About time you showed up.
DK is getting mauled by a bunch of ghosts. Diddy then whips out his popguns.
Diddy: My time to shine.
Diddy starts shooting Haunter with peanuts. DK then throws a Pokeball at it.
DK: I caught it!
Diddy: We caught it.
DK: I believe I threw the Pokeball, so I get all of the credit.
Professor Oak: He’s right, you know.
Diddy lets out an annoyed sigh.
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – seventh at Detour<<
>>Wario &
Waluigi – eighth at Detour<<
>>Morton &
Roy – ninth at Detour<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – last at Detour<<
Wario: We can capture some stuff.
Bowser: Not before we can.
Wario: You’ve been second to last the past two legs.
Bowser: You’ve been third to last the past two legs.
Wario: Touché, but that ends now.
Both groups run to Professor Oak.
Professor Oak: Wario & Waluigi, you guys get Oddish, Growlithe, and Alakazam.
Wario: Sounds easy.
Professor Oak: Bowser & Bowser Jr, you guys get Caterpie, Tangela, and Dragonite.
Bowser Jr: Sounds easier.
Waluigi: They both sound scary. Wah!
Both groups run off in different directions.
Peach: On your back, Yoshi, we’ll be able to run super fast.
Yoshi: Why does it always seem that I’m lugging people around?
They both run off.
Roy: All right, Morton, let’s go fight some dudes.
Morton: Roy, we shouldn’t, because as much as I hate to admit it, both Bowser and Wario are better fighters than you. Peach and Yoshi will beat everyone, so if we do Catch It, we’ll be eliminated.
Roy: Morton, you’re a genius.
A mile into their walk…
Roy: Morton, you’re an idiot. Have you forgotten you’re fat?
Morton: So what? We’ll be able to do this quicker than if we did Catch It… Boo?
Boo: Have you guys seen Dry Bones?
Roy: No, we haven’t seen him.
Boo: You guys gotta help me, man; I’ve been looking for hours. If you guys help me, I’ll help you.
Morton: Sounds like a fair trade.
Roy: I don’t trust him.
Morton: Could this be foreshadowing?
Wacky: No, not really.
Morton: Oh.
GIMB: Actually, you were extremely far from a foreshadow; you were completely wrong.
>>Lil’ Wayne &
G Iggles – Wasteland<<
Iggy is standing
with a bunch of bling on.
G Iggles: Where did I get this from? Why is my name suddenly G Iggles? Lil’ Wayne?
Lil’ Wayne: Don’t worry, Iggy, I’m here to help you out!
G Iggles: Thanks, Lil’ Wayne!
Lil’ Wayne then jumps up at the Aerodactyl. He kicks it in the face and knocks it out.
Lil’ Wayne: Go, Pokeball!
He throws the Pokeball and captures the Aerodactyl.
Lil’ Wayne: Here you go, Iggy.
G Iggles: Thanks, Lil’ Wayne!
Lil’ Wayne: And just remember, say no to drugs and stay in school.
G Iggles: Wait a minute, aren’t you in jail?
Lil’ Wayne: Shhh!
Lil’ Wayne then jumps on a 20-foot Mushroom and flies away.
Iggy: The &%$#?
Lemmy then walks over.
Lemmy: Hey, when did you get grilles?
Iggy: I don’t even know.
They go over to Professor Oak.
>>Lemmy & Iggy – second at route marker<<
Lemmy: Head to the Pit Stop! Let’s go!
They run over and jump on the mat.
Wacky: Lemmy & Iggy, you are team number 2!
>>LEMMY & IGGY – SECOND PLACE<<
>>Hamma &
Flare – Fuchsia City<<
Flare: I can’t
believe we had to buy a bike just to cross that stupid bridge!
Hamma: Yeah, what are we gonna do with a bike?
Flare: (Extreme BMX Racing! Through fire!)
Hamma: No, I just read the thought bubble; not gonna fly, Bro.
Bamma: Yo, guys, what took you so long?
Hamma: How did you get here so quickly?
They see the Gyarados right behind Bamma.
Bamma: His name’s the Chicken Wing King. C’mon, we gotta get going.
They jump on the Gyarados. He quickly takes them back to Pallet Town.
>>Hamma, Bamma, & Flare – third at route marker<<
Flare: Go to the Pit Stop.
Bamma: Run, guys, run!
They run and jump on the mat.
Hamma: What place did we get?
Wacky: Hamma, Bamma, & Flare, you are team number 3!
>>HAMMA, BAMMA, & FLARE – THIRD PLACE<<
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – Pokémon Field<<
Bowser: What
do we need first, Junior?
Bowser Jr: We need a Caterpie.
Bowser picks up a Caterpie.
Bowser: You mean this thing? What can this do?
The Caterpie then shoots string at Bowser.
Bowser: That doesn’t hurt, that’s just annoying!
Bowser then picks up a stick and hits it. It gets knocked out.
Bowser: Okay, now what?
Bowser Jr: A Tangela.
Bowser then breathes fire on it. It runs around on fire until it falls unconscious. Bowser throws a Pokeball and captures it.
Bowser: Yeah, fire is super effective. What next? I’m on a roll.
Bowser Jr: Dragonite.
Bowser: Sounds easy!
A Dragonite then lands in front of Bowser. It uses hydro pump on him.
Bowser: Argh!
>>Peach &
Yoshi – Vermillion City<<
Yoshi: We got
our fourth badge!
Peach: If we keep this up…
A Kingler then picks up Peach and walks into the ocean.
Yoshi: Oh my gosh!
Clunk!
Yoshi: Ow!
Pokémon Trainer: Darn it, I didn’t capture it.
Yoshi: I’m not a Pokémon!
Pokémon Trainer’s Friend: Wow, this one talks! It must be really powerful!
The Pokémon Trainer then throws another Pokeball at Yoshi.
Yoshi: Why you…
Yoshi then eats the Pokémon Trainer.
Friend: Oh my gosh! It ate Jimmy!
Yoshi: Sorry, instincts. He’ll hatch from the egg in a few minutes.
Yoshi then hands the friend a 5-foot egg and jumps into the water.
>>Wario &
Waluigi – Pokémon Field<<
Wario: I caught
the Oddish!
Waluigi: Well, it wasn’t actually all that hard.
Wario: Yeah, well the next one’s a Growlithe. Waluigi, stand still; when it comes out, I’ve got a Bob-omb.
Waluigi: Smart plan.
Wario then hides behind a shrub. A Growlithe then charges at Waluigi and lights him on fire.
Waluigi: Ahhhhhhh!
The Growlithe then tackles Waluigi.
Waluigi: Wario!
Wario: Can you make that a double cheeseburger? Oh no, I don’t want onions. Oh man, Waluigi!
Wario then throws the Bob-omb. It hits the Growlithe and knocks it out.
Wario: Sorry about that.
Waluigi: (sarcastically) Ha ha ha! It was so fun that I’d do it again.
Wario: Good, because we’re doing the same thing for Alakazam.
Later…
Waluigi: I don’t agree with this!
The Alakazam picks up Waluigi with its psychic and tosses him.
Waluigi: WARIO!
Wario: No, I do not want nuggets, two apple pies, and a diet soda!
GIMB: That is my best joke so far.
Wacky: I’m sure half the audience doesn’t even get it.
GIMB: They would if they read more of Lemmy’s Land, and besides, it was still funny.
Wacky: Just get out of here!
Wario then throws the Bob-omb at the Alakazam. However, it catches the Bob-omb in midair.
Wario: Uh oh.
The Alakazam then throws it back at Wario.
Wario: Ahhhhhh!
Waluigi lets out an annoyed sigh.
>>DK & Diddy
– Outside Creepy House<<
DK: We’ve looked
everywhere and I can’t find a Machamp!
Diddy is drinking a milkshake.
Diddy: Yeah, it’s really hard finding them.
DK: You’re not helping at all!
Diddy: Wait, where’s your bananas?
DK: I’ve got them right…
DK turns around and sees Machamp eating his bananas.
DK: Oh no you didn’t!
DK then takes off his tie.
Diddy: Oh man, Machamp is done.
The Machamp stands up.
Machamp: Ma…
DK then completely punches its face in. It falls down.
DK: Nobody takes my bananas!
DK then starts shoving bananas into his mouth. Diddy lets out an annoyed sigh.
Diddy: Let’s just go.
>>DK & Diddy – fourth at route marker<<
Diddy: Let’s go to the Pit Stop!
DK: OK!
Wacky: DK & Diddy, you are team number four!
>>DK & DIDDY – FOURTH PLACE<<
>>Dry Bones –
Random Tree<<
Dry Bones: Hello?
Anyone there?
Roy: I heard something over here.
Roy then looks inside the tree that Dry Bones is in.
Roy: Hey, I found him! What are you doing in there?
Dry Bones: It’s a long story.
Roy: We got time.
An hour later…
Dry Bones: And that’s how I ended up in this tree.
Boo: That jerk! C’mon, let’s go, Dry Bones, we already got all of the badges.
Morton: Hey, wait a second, you gotta help us!
Dry Bones: We gotta nothing!
Roy: You’re still paralyzed and in my arms; you gotta something!
Boo lets out an annoyed sigh.
Dry Bones: And I think we gotta get back at Luigi somehow.
Boo: I’ve got an idea.
Boo flies into the air. He sees Mario and Pidgeotto searching for Luigi. He rams into them and slams them into a 20-foot Mushroom.
Mario: Where did this Mushroom come from?
Lil’ Wayne: Sorry, kiddies.
Boo lets out an annoyed sigh. Mario then falls right next to Morton and Roy.
Dry Bones: Quickly, steal his badges!
Morton then runs up and snags Mario’s badges.
Morton: Run, Roy, run!
Luigi: What’s going on here?
Dry Bones: Eep!
Luigi: Get them, my minions.
About 200 Bellsprouts start chasing Roy, Morton, and Boo, with Roy carrying Dry Bones.
Roy: Run faster, fatty!
Morton: Even when we’re about to be killed, you still make fun of me.
Dry Bones: Quickly, there’s Professor Oak! Run, guys, run!
Roy: Actually, they stopped chasing us, like, two minutes ago.
Dry Bones: Oh. Hey wait; I can finally feel my body again!
>>Dry Bones &
Boo – fifth at route marker<<
>>Morton &
Roy – sixth at route marker<<
Luigi: Oh no, Mario, what are we going to do?
Mario: I always think ahead, Luigi. Luckily, I got an extra set of badges.
Luigi: Why did you do that?
Mario: I wanted to enter the Pokémon League with my Pidgeotto.
Pidgeotto: Pdjho!
Luigi then lets out an annoyed sigh.
Luigi: Here, let’s just give the badges to Professor Oak.
>>Mario & Luigi – seventh at route marker<<
Mario: I bet we can beat you guys there.
Boo: It’s on!
They all run to the Pit Stop.
Wacky: Dry Bones & Boo, you are team number five! Mario & Luigi, you are team number six! Morton & Roy, you are team number seven!
>>DRY BONES &
BOO – FIFTH PLACE<<
>>MARIO &
LUIGI – SIXTH PLACE<<
>>MORTON &
ROY – SEVENTH PLACE<<
Mario: Shouldn’t Morton and Roy get a penalty for stealing our badges?
Boo: Well, in that case, Mario and Luigi should get a penalty for paralyzing Dry Bones!
Wacky: Fine, I guess no penalties; it makes the game easier.
>>Yoshi – Ocean
Floor<<
Yoshi: How can
I breathe? There she is!
Yoshi then throws an egg at the Kingler. Kingler then shoots bubbles out of its claw.
Yoshi: Ahhhhhhh!
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – Pokémon Field<<
Bowser: Jr, I’ve
got a great idea. You go jump on its back and then I’ll punch it.
Bowser Jr. lets out an annoyed sigh.
Bowser: I don’t need the attitude; get going!
Bowser Jr. runs up and jumps on Dragonite’s back. Bowser then runs up and punches Dragonite in the stomach. Dragonite quickly gets up and punches Bowser in the stomach. Bowser is sent flying and then Dragonite throws Jr. at Bowser.
Bowser Jr: Papa, Papa; are you all right?
Bowser: I’ve figured it out, Jr. I’ve figured out the answer to all of the world’s problems. It… is… a der!
Bowser then falls over, out cold.
Bowser Jr: Aw.
>>Wario &
Waluigi – Pokémon Field<<
In the midst
of the fight, Waluigi is hit by Alakazam’s Confuse Ray.
Wario: Waluigi, what just happened?
Waluigi: Wario, I’m rich.
Wario: What are you talking about?
Waluigi: I’m a star in every videogame!
Waluigi is having crazy visions from the confuse ray.
Waluigi: You’re done, Ganondorf!
Ganondorf: No!
Waluigi: I’ve got you now, Ridley!
Ridley: Argh!
Waluigi: Take this, Andross!
Andross: Waluigi, you’re too powerful!
Waluigi: I’m flying through the galaxy and I beat Bowser!
Mario: Woah, wait a minute. It’s still my game, Waluigi; back off.
Waluigi: Oh, sorry.
Mario: Yeah, go to some other system.
Waluigi: That sounds like a great idea. I’ve defeated the Covenant and saved Cortana. Now I can… pay off a mortgage?
Tom Nook: That’s right; that’s all you do in Waluigi Crossing. You make friends and pay off your house.
Waluigi: What kind of game is this? I wanna go shoot something!
Tom Nook: The only shooting we do around here is shooting balloons with slingshots!
Waluigi then starts to throw everything off of the store’s shelf, but in reality, Waluigi is throwing logs around in the forest.
Wario: Hey Waluigi, watch where you’re throwing those things!
Alakazam then gets hit in the head and gets knocked out. At this point, Waluigi snaps out of his confusion.
Waluigi: Huh, what happened?
Wario: You knocked out Alakazam! Way to go, Waluigi!
Waluigi: I did? Yay!
Wario: C’mon, we gotta go to Professor Oak.
>>Wario & Waluigi – eighth at route marker<<
Waluigi: Let’s go!
They jump onto the mat.
Wacky: Wario and Waluigi, you are team number eight!
>>WARIO & WALUIGI – EIGHTH PLACE<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – Fuchsia City<<
Peach: It was
a smart idea to capture that Kingler.
Yoshi: Yeah, it will only take us a third of the time to cross the ocean.
Peach: We’d better hurry up.
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – Pokémon Field<<
Bowser: JR, WE
NEED TO HURRY UP!
Bowser Jr: I’m trying, Papa, but he’s just too powerful.
Bowser: Sounds just like Mario. Wait a minute, I’ve got an idea.
DK: Bananas?
Bowser: DK, you already finished! What are you still doing here?
DK: I’m always here for a banana joke.
Bowser then kicks DK in the leg.
DK: Jeez, I was only trying to make a joke.
Bowser lets out an annoyed sigh.
Bowser: Jr, stand right in front of Dragonite. Don’t worry, I’ve got this.
Dragonite looks at Jr, rather annoyed.
Bowser Jr: All the reasons this plans could go wrong.
Bowser then jumps out and grabs Dragonite by the tail. He then throws Dragonite through a tree, knocking it out.
Bowser Jr: Knockout!
Bowser: Quickly, Jr, we gotta get to Professor Oak.
As they get back to Pallet Town, they see Peach and Yoshi also arriving.
>>Bowser &
Bowser Jr. – ninth at route marker<<
>>Peach &
Yoshi – last at route marker<<
Bowser: We need to go, Jr! Now!
Both teams start running for the Pit Stop. Bowser and Bowser Jr. got to the clue first, so they have a slight lead, but Peach and Yoshi are slowly gaining on them.
Peach: There it is!
Bowser: Slide, Jr, slide!
All four of them slide into the Pit Stop.
Ash: Safe!
Wacky: Really? I thought he was out.
Ash: C’mon, how bad could one blown call be?
Wacky: Just ask the people in Detroit.
There is an awkward silence for about a minute.
Yoshi: So, who won?
Wacky: It went in this order: Yoshi, Bowser Jr, Bowser, and Peach. So, Bowser and Bowser Jr, you are team number nine!
>>BOWSER & BOWSER JR. – NINTH PLACE<<
Wacky: Peach and Yoshi, you are the last team to arrive. I’m sorry to tell you that you have been eliminated from the race.
>>PEACH & YOSHI – ELIMINATED<<
Yoshi: No, no, no, NO!
Yoshi then jumps on Wacky’s back.
Wacky: Ah, get off of me!
Ash: Go, Charizard! Use Fire Blast!
Charizard then uses Fire Blast on Peach and Yoshi
Peach and Yoshi: We’re blasting off again!
GIMB: Yes!
Wacky lets out an annoyed sigh.
GIMB: Wait, how many annoyed sighs have there been?
Wacky: I don’t know, but there sure have been a lot.
GIMB: Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Wacky: Oh yeah…
Both: AWESOME ANNOYED SIGH MONTAGE!
Sir Weston then
lets out an annoyed sigh..
Bowser Jr. then
lets out an annoyed sigh, similar to Sir Weston’s.
Bowser Jr. lets
out another annoyed sigh.
Professor Oak
lets out an annoyed sigh.
Larry lets out
an annoyed sigh.
Larry lets out
an annoyed sigh.
Wario lets out
an annoyed sigh.
King Boo lets
out an annoyed sigh.
Roy lets out
an annoyed sigh.
Diddy lets out
an annoyed sigh.
DK: Bananas!
Professor Oak
lets out an annoyed sigh.
Bamma lets out
an annoyed sigh and then jumps into the water.
Dry Bones lets
out an annoyed sigh.
DK lets out an
annoyed sigh.
Lemmy lets out
an annoyed sigh.
DK lets out an
annoyed sigh.
Diddy lets out
an annoyed sigh. A giant, 6-foot bird comes up behind Diddy.
Diddy lets out
an annoyed sigh.
Waluigi lets
out an annoyed sigh.
Diddy lets out
an annoyed sigh.
Boo lets out
an annoyed sigh.
Boo lets out
an annoyed sigh. Mario then falls right next to Morton and Roy.
Luigi then lets
out an annoyed sigh.
Bowser Jr. lets
out an annoyed sigh.
Bowser lets out
an annoyed sigh.
Wacky lets out
an annoyed sigh.
To Be Continued...
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