The Mole: Mushroom Kingdom

By abcd

Last time on The Mole:  Mushroom Kingdom:
The final four of DK, Ludwig, Peach, and Shy Guy managed to win a whopping 165,000 coins out of a possible 200,000 coins.  These victories put them at a whopping 425,000 out of a possible 775,000 coins.  Today is the final episode.  Before it begins, let’s look at what the players have done this season.

Ludwig von Koopa’s Mole-ish deeds:
Day 1:  Nothing in first challenge, picking a toast-powered toaster that Grodus believed was Shy Guy’s in the second challenge.

Day 2:  Nothing in first two challenges, having the rope that he carried Daisy with snap in third challenge.

Day 3:  Nothing in first challenge, either him, Iggy, or DK slipping something into Bowser Jr’s drink in second challenge, getting all quiz answers right in the third challenge (although he is smart and would know a lot about Dark Land)

Day 4:  Having roommate and sister eliminated in 2 of first three eliminations, arriving in the lobby so early that he lost the team coins, burning the cookies in the cooking challenge, slowness in tennis costing himself and Iggy first two sets of a tennis match in third challenge.

Day 5:  Missing phone call before first challenge and costing team coins, deciding to build new toilet instead of fixing a toilet which cost his team coins in second challenge.

Day 6:  Failing to find three pieces of cheese in the first challenge, falling off palm tree in second challenge (only to be rescued by DK).

Day 7:  Being killed by his own landmine in Brawl (first challenge), getting phone number incorrect once before getting it right.

Peach Toadstool’s Mole-ish deeds:
Day 1:  Advocating giving up in the first challenge after DK was disqualified, choosing the same item (a crown) as Daisy in the second challenge.

Day 2:  Nothing in first two challenges, not being able to reach watermelons in third challenge (Wendy can attest to that)

Day 3:  Nothing in first challenge, knowing where to find the Wario Bros’ juice stand in second challenge and then buying from them (granted, she did lose them customers), getting three questions wrong in a five-question multiple choice quiz.

Day 4:  Publicly accusing Ludwig of being the Mole, finding an exemption, nothing in first challenge, reading Ludwig wrong ingredients in cooking challenge, borrowing money from bank instead of making it (which disqualified team)

Day 5:  Nothing in first challenge, finding another exemption in second challenge due to her ordering of clues.

Day 6:  Taking a bathroom break during the first timed challenge, forcing DK to come back down after climbing halfway up the palm tree in the second challenge.

Day 7:  Being completely inexperienced at Brawl yet being saved by luck and Ludwig to allow team to win, nothing in second challenge.

Shy Guy’s Mole-ish deeds:
Day 1:  Falling off of balance beam in first challenge, picking a teddy bear that was mistaken for being Iggy’s in the second challenge

Day 2:  Lay low the entire day

Day 3:  Sacrificing an exemption for Daisy to have her crown back in first challenge, wandering around doing nothing in the second challenge, getting all answers right in a Dark Land quiz

Day 4:  Being the only one to communicate with his family, losing his team coins by arriving late in first challenge, attracting attention to himself by painting hands green in dance video challenge, putting himself in a position to sacrifice his luxury item and communication with family for coins.

Day 5:  Nothing in first challenge, volunteering to be loner and person in power (again) in second challenge which allowed him to meet with his girlfriend.

Day 6:  Losing a point on the quiz yet still surviving, failing to do nothing in the first challenge, Ludwig shouting at him after falling off the palm tree (did he push Ludwig?).

Day 7:  Failing in first part of challenge only to pwn n00bs in the last part of the first challenge, failing in second challenge to count to six.

One of these three will go home the winner of many coins… One will go home very sad…  And ONE…  WILL…  BE…  THE…  MOLE!

*Room One*
Peach:  Well… no more exemptions.  I can’t simply use free passes anymore.  Tomorrow night, I’m going to have to win.  I’ve stayed here for a full week!  I can’t return to my kingdom empty-handed!  I’m the only “good guy” left!  Oh well.  Worrying will do nothing.  I can just think about who the Mole is.  Ludwig’s sure smart enough… I mean, he’s a genius!  But then again, he’s only brains.  Shy Guy’s a little bit more well-rounded.  And Shy Guy’s pretty much the last person anyone would suspect of doing anything well.  Actually, he did something well whether or not he’s the Mole.  If he is the Mole, then I don’t know who the Mole is.  If he’s not the Mole, then he’s reached the final two.  Good luck, Shy Guy and Ludwig.  You’ll need it.  But so will I.  Unless I’m the Mole.

*Room Two*
Ludwig:  Well, Ludwig von Koopa.  What do you have to say for yourself?  You’ve made it all the way to the last day.  I’m in the final two!  Final two competitors, I mean.  Either Peach or Shy Guy is the Mole.  It’s strange.  Peach has been a liability in challenges, so that would make me suspect her.  And she’s had the whole exemption thing.  But Shy Guy, he’s different.  No, Shy Guy has been all over the board.  He’s always volunteered first, putting himself in positions of power.  Only a Mole would know what those are.  But he’s handled them well, at least as well as I have.  Maybe it’s just a façade of good leadership and honest playing.  And yesterday, he wasn’t any good with Snake in Super Smash Bros, but he was awesome when it came to getting a reward… Interesting.  Or, there’s a third possibility.  And that’s me.  Maybe I’m the Mole!

*Room 3*
Shy Guy:  Let’s recap.  So, at the beginning of the show, I was the “secret guest” that everyone made fun of because I wasn’t a celebrity.  I was a nobody.  But then, something happened.  Something inexplicable.  I became popular!  Somehow, someway, some second-rate Sub-con enemy topped at least two of Bowser’s children, a mastermind who released the Shadow Queen, a recurring boss, Mario’s first enemy ever, a princess, and of course, the great Mario!  What went right?  And now, I hear that all the people on the polls want me to come back for another season?  They mocked me a mere seven days ago.  Now it is I, the Great Shy Guy, who may have the last laugh!  Ahhahahaha!  I’m going to need to work on my evil laugh.  But, back to the game.  Both of my opponents have managed to disqualify the team on a technicality once.  That’s a little interesting.  But Peach has the exemptions.  Of course, a Mole wouldn’t need exemptions… but what if it’s just a cover up?  Argh!  What if this note is a cover-up of the fact that I am the Mole?!

Beep Beep Beep Beep!

Luigi:  Today, we’re just going to skip to the challenges.  They’re important, and anything before then, well, not so much.

Peach:  Come on, tell us what the first challenge is!

Luigi:  Ok.  Who wants to be alone?

Shy Guy:  Me!

Luigi:  Fine.  Shy Guy will come with me. Peach and Ludwig, you’ll go with the Wario Bros.  Each part of this challenge is worth 50,000 coins.

*Ludwig and Peach*
Waluigi:  Ehh… So we’re going up against you two?  Ha-ha-ha!

Peach:  What’s the contest?

Wario:  Luigi never told you?  Today’s contest involves a catapult and an orange.

Ludwig:  Like that challenge on Amazing Race?  The one where the lady got hit in the face with the watermelon?

Wario:  Not quite.  They only had to hit a target.  Ours is a competition, so it’s going to be different.

Ludwig:  How?

Waluigi:  One of you will have a half-hour to construct a catapult.  The other one will get three oranges to fire at a target 50 yards away.  We’ll do the same on a different target.  So?  Who’s going to build, and who’s going to fire?

*Shy Guy*
Luigi:  So, Shy Guy, have you ever enjoyed wrestling?

Shy Guy:  This has got to be one of the worst introductions to a challenge ever.  What’s the challenge?

Luigi:  Meet the guest star!

Shy Guy:  Uh oh…

Luigi:  You two know each other?

Shy Guy:  First of all, we saw each other earlier in the game, and secondly, he’s like, my nemesis!

Yoshi:  Yoshi say hi Shy Guy!

Shy Guy:  So, I guess I’m going to wrestle with Yoshi.  For 50,000 coins.

Yoshi:  Yup!

*Ludwig and Peach*
Peach:  Well, you’re better with building and stuff, so…

Ludwig:  But I’ll also be better at catapulting the oranges.  I can tell you how to build one.  Is that allowed?

Wario:  Yes.  I will launch, Waluigi will build.  You have thirty minutes.  Starting now!

Peach:  Fine.

Ludwig:  Get the nail and hammer, and nail those two boards together!...

30 minutes later…

Wario:  Time’s up!

Peach:  Well, we’re close enough, right?

Ludwig:  We’ll see…

*Shy Guy*
Shy Guy:  Uhh… Yoshi?  Have you wrestled before?

Yoshi:  No.

Shy Guy:  Good.  Me neither.

Luigi:  Begin!

Yoshi charges at Shy Guy, who runs away from him like an idiot.  As Yoshi pounces at Shy Guy, Shy Guy conveniently trips.

Shy Guy:  Ouch!

Luigi:  Ring Out!  Yoshi dove outside of the ring!

Shy Guy:  Yay… I guess…

*Ludwig and Peach*
Wario:  We’ll go first.

Wario launches an orange that goes on a perfect line, but misses just wide of the target. Ludwig then fires an orange that, well, never had a chance as it goes way over the target. Wario then launches an orange that happens to hit a passing-by Tweeter.

Walugi:  Just like Randy Johnson!

Editor:  Stop with the pop culture references!

Ludwig’s next shot falls short as the catapult collapses.

Ludwig:  Well… that’s unfortunate.

Wario:  Well then… my last shot.

Wario catapults an orange that falls just short.

Wario:  Drat!

Ludwig:  One last shot…   I guess I’ll have to throw it…

The orange sails through the air…

Peach:  That’s an awful throw!

Ludwig:  Yeah, the trajectory was a little lofty.


Waluigi:  Wow.

Wario:  You just… hit… the target… with that?!

Ludwig:  Lucky shot, I guess.

Wario:  Grr… You win the coins…

*Back at the Lobby*
Luigi:  As it’s the final three, I’d like to let you know that I’ve taped all of these challenges.  You may watch the other challenge that occurred.

Ludwig, Peach, and Shy Guy watch the video.

Luigi:  And, after a long eight days, it’s come down to this.  The final challenge.  If you’ve done the math, this challenge is worth 125,000 coins.  Here’s how it will work:  You will have to design a banner.  Our guest stars, Yoshi, Wario, and Waluigi, will have to determine which banner is yours.  It will be compared to one designed by the techies.  If two of the three don’t get it, you’ll win the coins.  If they do, it’ll cost you the final challenge.  You will have access to paint and a picture of the other poster.  Go!  You have an hour.

Ludwig:  So, the other poster has a bright red background.  Which color will we use least?

Peach:  Well, the other one seems to have The Mole themes, so maybe we should have a Dark Land theme.

Shy Guy:  Hmm… So then we should have a dark background.  How about black?

Ludwig:  That would represent Dark Land well.  Let’s do it.


Ludwig:  30 minutes left… We need to have done more than just the background!  Pick up the pace!

Peach:  What else should we have?

Shy Guy:  Well, Dark Land is best represented by Bowser.  We should have a picture of Bowser’s Castle.  I think Ludwig should do that.

Peach:  I would know as well…

Shy Guy:  Well… then you can help

15 minutes left…

Shy Guy:  Ugh!  That’s terrible!

Peach:  It’s Ludwig’s fault!

Ludwig:  Probably.  But we should have a The Mole theme.  Shy Guy, draw The Mole’s logo behind it using green paint.

Shy Guy:  Uhh… I guess this works…

0 minutes left…

Luigi:  Time’s up!  We’ll wait for this to dry.

Luigi:  It’s all dry.  Now on to the judging.

Wario:  Hmm… Who are the techies?

Luigi:  Some Troopas, a Goomba, a Bob-omb, a couple Toads…

Wario:  Interesting.  I think the Dark Land poster is the techies’.  Only a Goomba could draw that poorly!

Waluigi:  On the contrary.  I think that no child of Bowser could possibly be a good artist.  I think it’s the red one!

Yoshi:  Yoshi swing vote… Yoshi think Peach and Shy Guy would use red.  So Yoshi think Peach designed red, techies black.

Luigi:  And Peach, Shy Guy, and Ludwig win the final challenge!  So now, the winner will receive a whopping 650,000 coins!

*Shy Guy’s last journal entry*
Shy Guy:  I’m going to take the quiz now.  This is probably the biggest moment of my life so far… I noticed today that both Ludwig and Peach had terrible drawings… or maybe one messed up the other?  I don’t know.

*Peach’s last journal entry*
Peach:  Looking forward to the quiz.  The thought of possibly winning that many coins is exciting!  I’ve noticed how wimpy Shy Guy was in his part of the first challenge against Yoshi.  Running away?  That was sheer luck that he won.  And in the first challenge, Ludwig gave me slow directions and had a terrible throw…

*Ludwig’s last journal entry*
The final quiz at last!  Maybe I’ll be able to win.  The realization is really setting in right now.  I’m suspicious of Peach and Shy Guy equally.  I still refuse to forget about Shy Guy’s pushing me off the tree… and Peach messed up my drawing today!

Luigi:  It’s quiz time!

Question One:  Has the Mole had the same room number for the entire game?
Peach:  No
Ludwig:  Yes
Shy Guy:  Yes

Question Two:  What is the Mole’s room number?
Peach:  3
Ludwig:  1
Shy Guy:  2

Question Three:  Did the Mole fall off the balance beam, advocate giving up, or do neither in the first challenge?
Peach:  Fall
Ludwig:  Fall
Shy Guy:  Giving up

Question Four:  Name a relative of the Mole that has appeared on the show.
Peach:  Iggy Koopa
Ludwig:  Daisy Toadstool
Shy Guy:  Daisy Toadstool

Question Five:  Was the Mole given their correct item in the luggage challenge (the second one)?
Peach:  No
Ludwig:  No
Shy Guy:  Yes

Question Six:  What is/are the Mole’s favorite color(s)?
Peach:  Red and Black
Ludwig:  Pink
Shy Guy:  Pink

Question Seven:  What is the Mole’s birth month?
Peach:  November
Ludwig:  August
Shy Guy:  November

Question Eight:  Who was the Mole’s first roommate?
Peach:  Mario
Ludwig:  Daisy
Shy Guy:  Sir Grodus

Question Nine:  How many exemptions (if any) did the Mole receive?
Peach:  1
Ludwig:  2
Shy Guy:  2

Question Ten:  When did the Mole get off the bus?
Peach:  Last
Ludwig:  Didn’t arrive on bus
Shy Guy:  Didn’t arrive on bus

Question Eleven:  In the Orange Juice selling challenge (Episode 3), what did the Mole do?
Peach:  Get lost
Ludwig:  Get lost
Shy Guy:  Make orange juice

Question Twelve:  In the competition at the beginning of the second day in which individuals had to race from their rooms to the lobby, what became of the Mole’s item?
Peach:  Never got it back
Ludwig:  Earned it
Shy Guy:  Got it back from another person sacrificing an exemption

Question Thirteen:  How many family members of the Mole directly participated on the show (Morton Koopa doesn’t count).
Peach:  2
Ludwig:  0
Shy Guy:  2

Question Fourteen:  On the fourth day, did the Mole arrive downstairs too early, too late, or on time?
Peach:  Too late
Ludwig:  On time
Shy Guy:  Too early

Question Fifteen: Was the Mole ever delayed as a result of a family attempting to take an elevator down one flight of stairs?
Peach:  No
Ludwig:  Yes
Shy Guy:  Yes

Question Sixteen:  What color is the Mole’s hair?
Peach:  No hair
Ludwig:  No hair
Shy Guy:  Blonde

Question Seventeen:  On day 6, was the Mole cold, a rat, or thirsty for victory?
Peach:  Rat
Ludwig:  Cold
Shy Guy:  Thirsty

Question Eighteen:  What role did the Mole have in Ludwig’s falling off the palm tree on Day 6?
Peach:  Pushed Ludwig
Ludwig:  Pushed Ludwig
Shy Guy:  Fell

Question Nineteen:  Who was the Mole’s Super Smash Bros. partner?
Peach:  Peach
Ludwig:  DK
Shy Guy:  Ludwig

Question Twenty:  What was the Mole’s error in solving the telephone number riddle?
Peach:  Miscounting
Ludwig:  Miscounting
Shy Guy:  No error

Question Twenty-One:  Who is the Mole?
Peach:  ?
Ludwig:  ?
Shy Guy:  ?

Luigi:  Aaand, before we see the results, let’s talk to previous contestants!  Go in the order you were eliminated.  Who won, and who’s the Mole?

Mario:  Well, this isn’t quite fair.  I was only there one day… I pick… Shy Guy as the Mole!  There’s no way he could outlast me!  Or anyone for that matter.  Winner… probably Peach.  She deserves it.  I don’t want Ludwig to win, that’s for certain!

Luigi:  Okay.  Now, on to Wendy.

Wendy:  I at least got two days on the show, so I should be a better predictor than Mario.  The Mole’s gotta be Ludwig, I didn’t suspect him at all!  He’s my brother!  But yeah, in terms of competence, Peach is probably going to win.

Luigi:  Grodus, what do you have to say?

Grodus:  Gack-ack!  Sensors indicate most likely winner… Ludwig.  Reason for victory… Superior intelligence.  Most likely Mole… Princess Peach.  Reason… Abundance of exemptions.

Luigi:  Interesting.  Each has suspected a different Mole!  O’Chunks?

O’Chunks:  I’m thinking that the laddie Shy Guy might win.  Why?  Because it’d be funny, that’s why!  And the Mole… I’m going to guess Ludwig.  I couldn’t CHUNK a princess, and I said I would CHUNK the Mole, so…

Luigi:  It’s what you’re hoping for…

O’Chunks:  Yes, laddie!  But now I’ve gotten two lines to everyone else’s one!

Luigi:  Yes, speaking of those other contestants… Daisy?  What about you?

Daisy:  After being Peach’s roommate, she never gave me any reason to consider her the Mole… which makes me think she is the Mole!  But seriously, Ludwig’s probably going to beat Shy Guy.  Shy Guy just seems… so… how do I put this… dumb!

Luigi:  Iggy, what about you?

Iggy:  I, unlike my sister, did suspect Ludwig from the start.  He’s smart enough to be the Mole.  I’ll say he’s the Mole, with Peach as the winner.  Shy Guy’s just so useless!

Luigi:  And finally, DK.  What do you think?

DK:  Let me see… a 1 or 2 is Peach, a 3 or 4 is Shy Guy, and a 5 or 6 is Ludwig.

DK then rolls two dice.

DK:  2!  Peach is the Mole! ...3!  Shy Guy wins!

Luigi:  Shy Guy, do you find it amusing that only two people picked you to win?  And one of the two did so because he thought it would be funny, and the other did so by rolling a 3?

Shy Guy:  It makes me a little mad, but I’ll prove them wrong if I win.

Luigi:  Toad!  I need the results!

A Toad runs in with an envelope.

Luigi:  Peach!

Peach:  Yes?  Did I win?

Luigi:  No.  You got second.  You scored lower than either Ludwig or Shy Guy.

???:  Woo-hoo!  I won!  Oh yeah!  In your face, Mario!

Luigi:  Shy Guy, cool it!  I haven’t announced it yet!  Ludwig’s the Mole, and Shy Guy wins!

Shy Guy:  Where’s Mary?  I need to talk to her!

Luigi:  Family and friends of Shy Guy are sitting over there.

Shy Guy:  Mary!  I don’t have a ring with me right now, but will you marry me?!

Mary Guy:  Yes, I will!

Luigi:  Not to be awkward or anything, but… Ludwig.  So, you were the Mole.  As a display of our gratitude, you will receive half of the money that didn’t go in the team pot.  That’s 175,000 coins!

Ludwig:  Thank you, Luigi!  That’s awesome!

Luigi (to self):  Darn.  The season’s over.  Now I get replaced by Shy Guy as the new boss!

The End

Author’s Note:  Thank you for reading this fan fiction.  I may write a sequel to this in the future with Shy Guy as the host, your five favorites returning, along with five new competitors.  So vote!  And thanks to Badyoyo for the idea!

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