Survivor 2: The REAL Deal

By Tenacious B

Terrible Powers Day 34

Rawk Hawk: YEAH! We voted out the idiot!

Birdo: Everything feels peaceful!

Parakarry: I'm starving!... Into the Log Cabin! Let's raid it of all food and all the comforts Jolene stole from us!

Petey: Tally Ho!

Everyone enters the Log Cabin except for Michael Tarver.

Michael Tarver, Professional Wrestler: I kind of miss Jolene. Now the show has no one to cause problems... looks like I'll just have to make some.

Once everyone gets inside, they notice how beautiful it looks from the inside.

Petey: Oh my gosh, is that a flatscreen TV?

He goes over, grabs the remote, and starts watching an episode of "The Grodus Chronicles."

Rawk Hawk: Hey, that's my monthly paycheck! She's been stealing fighting money from under my nose the entire time!

He grabs his paycheck and sits down next to Petey. Birdo starts looking through Jolene's closet, and notices a costume that looks like Bigfoot.

Birdo: So Jolene was Bigfoot all along. Nice way to start a debate on whether it existed or not!

She starts looking at the costume. Parakarry is looking at Jolene's bookshelf.

Parakarry: Wow, the entire series of Luigi's Do-it-your-stinkin self! I have to read one of these!

He picks up one of the books. Then, in a bizarre twist, the bookshelf moves to the left, revealing a safe behind it.

Parakarry: o_O What the?

Everyone in the cabin heard the noise and went over to see the safe.

Petey: Why would Jolene have a safe in here?

Rawk Hawk: Probably to keep something important, duh!

Birdo looks to see a voice activated lock.

Birdo: It needs a password in Jolene's voice.

Parakarry: Then unless someone has a tape recorder, I don't see how we're opening this.

Petey: So all we need to do is blow it up!... Oh yeah, Bombette's gone.

Rawk Hawk: Oh forget her! We can have Bow get in and... open... it...

Birdo: Yeah she's gone too. But we still have Lakitu to drill a hole in it... with...  a Spiny...

Petey: I can still do that!

Birdo: Oh yeah!

Petey transforms into Female Lakitu and starts drilling into the safe. Nothing happens.

Parakarry: I saw we just blow into the ocean, right Flurs... oh.

Birdo: Boy, it feels different now with everyone gone.

Rawk Hawk: Yeah

Parakarry, Mailman: Man... I never felt actually sad about the people we've gotten rid of... okay I only care about Flurrie. But the others... eh.

Michael Tarver enters.

Michael Tarver: So where's the food? I haven't eaten in forever!

Michael Tarver notices the buffet table and begins eating from it.
Meanwhile, back inside the cabin...

Female Lakitu, Rawk Hawk, and Parakarry were fighting over the remote.

Female Lakitu: There's a new episode of "The Grodus Chronicles" on tonight! I need to use the TV!

Rawk Hawk: No way! I want to watch the Glitz Pit!

Parakarry: But I want to watch the Lemmy's Land channel!

The three start tugging on their remote. Soon the remote breaks, the TV sticks to The Glitz Pit.

Rawk Hawk: RAWK ON! YEAH!

Rawk Hawk sits down on the couch and begins watching TV. Meanwhile Michael Tarver is outside with Birdo.

Michael Tarver: Hey Birdo, look over here.

Birdo: What?

Michael Tarver: Blueberries.

Birdo turns into her trance like state.

Birdo: Jo… lene

Michael Tarver: No, you work for… Me, Michael Tarver.

Birdo: Tar… ver

Michael Tarver: That’s right, and now I want you to vote out Petey at Tribal Council, and if he somehow gets immunity at the Immunity Challenge. Then vote out Parakarry. Got it?

Birdo: Yes… sir.

Michael Tarver: Good… Blueberries.

Birdo turns back to normal.

Birdo: What happened?

Michael Tarver: Nothing, you passed out for a few seconds. Are you okay?

Birdo: I’m just fine… LOOK! Air Mail!

Birdo grabs the Air Mail. She begins to read it.

Birdo: Go to last challenge location… that’s it?

Michael Tarver: Apprentally.

Birdo goes into the cabin.

Birdo: Hey guys! Let’s go! We have to go to the last challenge location for the reward challenge.

Terrible Powers leave, except for Rawk Hawk.

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: Not me! I’m going to just stay here and watch Glitz Pit.

Reward Challenge

The four come to the three hosts.

Blueytroopa: Nice to see you on a challenge again. I kind of miss hosting these things.

Ella: Hey, where's Rawk Hawk?

Parakarry: Probably still watching the TV back at our cabin.

N. Gin: Don't worry, he'll be coming...

N. Gin gets out a remote and presses the big red button. In just a few seconds, Rawk Hawk lands next to the four.

Rawk Hawk: Who put a catapult underneath the couch? Now I'll miss the big match!

Ella: To answer the first question, we put the catapult there just so nobody misses any challenges. For the second one, we knew you would probably want to see that match, so we're recording it on DVR.

Rawk Hawk breathed a sigh of relief.

N. Gin: Let me explain the reward challenge...

N. Gin motioned to five deflated balloon rockets next to five air pumps.

N. Gin: Your task is to inflate one of these balloon rockets as much as you can in sixty seconds with air pumps. After time is up, you will release these rockets into the air while a Lakitu with a camera keeps track of each balloon. The person who's rocket traveled the farthest upward, wins this!

A Shy Guy in a tux appears before them.

Butler Guy: Good day sirs!

Ella: Plus, as a bonus, you won't have to pay him a coin for his services!

Blueytroopa: Better get in your starting positions!

The five do so.

N. Gin: Survivors ready?

The five contestants raise each of their pumps.

N. Gin: GO!

Female Lakitu transformed into Petey and started pumping, Rawk Hawk started to sweat a little while pumping, Micheal Tarver was having no trouble pumping, Birdo was having small troubles with her pump, and Parakarry was trying to hide his signs of fatigue. Rawk Hawk noticed Tarver was doing well.

Rawk Hawk: DANG IT!

Rawk Hawk slammed his fist into the pump.

N. Gin: Time’s up. Let’s see how you do.

Terrible Powers back up.

Ella: FIRE!

The rockets blast off. Petey’s rocket fell down first.

Petey: WHAT?!

Parakarry: HA!

Parakarry’s rocket fell down next.

Parakarry: HEY!

Rawk Hawk: HA! ... I just jinxed myself didn’t I?

Suddenly Birdo’s rocket falls down.

Rawk Hawk: Woah.

Birdo: Aw man.

It’s neck and neck. Two rockets still flying, Michael Tarver’s and Rawk Hawk’s.

Michael Tarver: Come on!

Rawk Hawk: Stay up there!

Suddenly a rocket comes down.

???: Aw poot!

Blueytroopa: The reward goes to… Rawk Hawk!

Rawk Hawk: WOO YEAH!

Terrible Powers leave except for Rawk Hawk, who goes in the opposite direction. Butler Guy looks up to the hosts.

Butler Guy: Um, what about me?

Ella: Well, since Rawk Hawk won the challenge, you could follow him.

Butler Guy does.

Rawk Hawk

Rawk Hawk comes to the old base.

Rawk Hawk: Man, this place looks run down. I can't watch the Glitz Pit in a pig sty like this!

???: Perhaps I can help sir!

Rawk Hawk turns around to see Butler Guy behind him.

Rawk Hawk: What do you want, pip squeak?

Butler Guy: Simply for you to have a better life. Since you won the reward challenge, I can aid you for the rest of your life.

Rawk Hawk: Yeah right, how can a small guy like you...

Butler Guy then starts running around the camp at fast speeds, and after about ten seconds, the entire base was entirely cleaned up. Rawk Hawk had his mouth agape when he saw this, then Butler Guy comes in with a huge HD TV.

Butler Guy: I believe you wanted to watch the Glitz Pit master?

Rawk Hawk: Well, I'm going to need a chair fir...

Butler Guy then vanishes in a couple of seconds, then comes back with a chair made of pure gold. This chair made Princess Peach's throne look like a hunk of garbage. Butler Guy then fluffs up a pillow, then lays it down on the chair for Rawk Hawk to sit on. He prompts Rawk Hawk to do so, and when Rawk Hawk sat down, he looked toward the little Shy Guy.

Rawk Hawk: Do you mind changing the channel?

Butler Guy nods then grabs the remote on top of the TV. He changes the channel to the Glitz Pit.

Butler Guy: Anything else, Sire?

Rawk Hawk: Well, why don't you redecorate the camp around here? This place does need some stuff in my image.

Butler Guy: As you wish sire.

He goes in the woods to get some supplies.

Rawk Hawk: Geez, this guy makes Bow's butler, Bootler, look like a dump!

Somewhere in Bow's mansion...

Bootler was currently doing Bow's bidding when he suddenly gets a cramp in his arm.

Bootler: Ouch! I sense that someone thinks another is better at doing butlerwork than me! I will find out who it is, and then I'll...

Bow (in another room): Bootler, get me another sundae!

Bootler: Coming, Lady Bow!

He goes to her, completley forgetting what he just said.

Butler Guy starts quickly cleaning the camp. Rawk Hawk begins watching Glitz Pit.

Rawk Hawk: Ah... just when you say "Life can't get better than this". It does.

Macho Grubba: Coming up next! The Goomba Bros vs. The Pokey Twins! Don't forget to order the Pay Per View of my match with Tenacious B! It's going to be a slobberknocker! In two days! Them Tenacious B boys are going to "B" destroyed.

Rawk Hawk: BOO! Your comedy stinks!

Terrible Powers

The losers return to their new crib.

Michael Tarver, Professional Wrestler: Crib? People still say that?

Alright, Alright, "Home".

Michael Tarver, Professional Wrestler: Good.

Michael Tarver: You know guys, I'm getting tired of Rawk Hawk winning all these matches! I can't even count how many times we've been bested by him!

Birdo: You know... Tarver's got a point.

Michael Tarver: Michael Tarver, not just Tarver.

Parakarry: SHADDUP ABOUT YOUR DANG NAME!... But seriously, you're right. If we want any chance at winning. We have to get rid of Rawk Hawk.

Petey: How do we do so?

Michael Tarver: We gang up on him in the next challenge of course!

Birdo: But what if it's an individual performance challenge.

Michael Tarver:... I don't know.

Petey, Funeral Owner: The human, Michael Tarver suggested we gang up on Rawk Hawk in the next challenge. I would personally just vote for Tarver himself. He's getting a bit full of himself.

Birdo, Egg Seller: Hmmm... Rawk Hawk's not going to like the sound of this when it's 3 on 2 for immunity. However... I have a plan. The tribe goes to bed for the night. Rawk Hawk, however, was sleeping in a deluxe bed that Butler Guy got for him.

Terrible Powers Day 35

Everyone wakes up in front of the hosts, including Rawk Hawk.

Ella: Good morning everyone!

Parakarry: What the heck are we doing here?

N. Gin: We decided to start the immunity challenge early, due to this challenge being special.

Petey: Fine, then what's the challenge?

Blueytroopa: It's this. You people remember this guy?

A hole appears next to the hosts, and a blue mole pops out.

Whacka: WHACKAHOOO! Hello everyone! It's very gloomy in this forest, but I know it's going to be a beautiful day! Just smell that fresh air, it's so great to be alive!

Ella: This is a Whacka, a creature who's species is on the verge of extinction due to the food it produces when you hit it, a Whacka's Bump. This food is said to be delicious, so many people hit these creatures for that food...

Blueytroopa: Today's challenge will look easy, but it's not. Whacka will go out and hide, and you must find and hit it so it produces a Whacka's Bump. First one to bring a Whacka's Bump back here wins immunity and a Whacka's Bump for breakfast!

The contestants drool over the sound of a Whacka's Bump for breakfast.

N. Gin: Let's begin, shall we?

Whacka goes back underground to hide somewhere in the forest.

N. Gin: Survivors ready?

Everyone gets in a running position.

N. Gin: GO!

Everyone dashes in the forest, hoping to find Whacka before the others.
Rawk Hawk is seen running through the forest, however some Piranha Plants pop out, trip Rawk Hawk, and cover him in vines.

Rawk Hawk: What the? HEY! HElP!

Piranha Plant: No one is going to help you. We have been given urgent orders to prevent you from winning this challenge! Given to us by Petey Piranha himself!

Rawk Hawk: Petey?! Why that no good, rotten-

The scene cuts to Petey Piranha slowly running through the forest.

Petey: *Phew* Running's hard!

A Piranha Plant pops up in front of Petey.

Piranha Plant: We got him sir!

Petey: Good... Here are your new orders.

Michael Tarver is seen jogging through the forest.

Michael Tarver: What does it take to find a Whacka around here?

A Piranha Plant pops up in front of Michael Tarver.

Piranha Plant: Rawk Hawk has been defeated, sir!

Michael Tarver heard the Piranha Plant and is pleased, but now no longer cares about the Piranha Plant so he steps on it and continues to search for the Whacka.

Meanwhile Birdo is seen running through the forest.

Birdo: Come on, Come on! Where are you?!

The Piranha Plant appears behind Birdo.

Piranha Plant: This time we won't inform her, like we did with the human... ATTACK!

Piranha Plants pop out of the ground, trip, and capture Birdo.

Birdo: NO! NOOOOO!

The scene cuts to Parakarry in the air hearing Birdo's screams.

Parakarry: Something tells me we need to find that Whacka and FAST... Where would a Whacka be?... I'll check out Bow's place. Maybe he went there... if my memory is right, the mansion should be...

Parakarry noticed some eyes in a tree.

Parakarry: That way!

Parakarry flies in the direction of the tree.

Meanwhile, Petey was searching for Whacka while watching "The Grodus Chronicles" on a mini TV.

Toadette: Oh Grodus, will you be mine?

Grodus: I could, but I'm... just a head!

Suspenseful music starts playing.

Toadette: It doesn't matter. I kind of like mechanical heads for a husband.

Petey: Grodus no, she'll betray you and take over the X-Naut army!

A Piranha Plant pops up.

Piranha Plant: Sir, I believe we might know someone who knows where Whacka is!

Petey: Who?

Piranha Plant: A person named Oaklie, the guardian of these woods. He's just up ahead.

Petey: Thanks private!

The Piranha Plant digs back underground to get more information, while Petey heads north, watching his mini TV.

Petey: Grodus, no!

Petey, Funeral Director: Oh, if you're wondering how I got this Mini-TV. The answer is simple... A Wizzerd did it.

A Wizzerd is following Petey, Petey's using the Wizzerd's components to make a mini-TV and a working power generator.

Wizzerd: When am I going to get that free dusting you promised me off camera?

Petey: Never.

Wizzerd: WHAT?!

The Wizzerd rips his extension cord out of Petey, and steals his components, he runs off.

Petey:... *Sigh*

Meanwhile Michael Tarver turns a corner, he spots the Whacka. However a Piranha Plant trips and covers him like he did with the other two.


Parakarry hears Michael Tarver's screams for help and goes toward them. He spots the Whacka and whacks it on the head.

Whacka: OW! Don't hit me!

The Piranha Plants try grabbing Parakarry but Parakarry flies out of the forest and to the hosts.

N. Gin: Parakarry wins immunity!

Parakarry: As usual.

Ella gives Parakarry the immunity necklace.

Blueytroopa: With this necklace you're guaranteed another three days on the show, and you now have a one in four chance of winning Survivor 2: The REAL Deal.

Parakarry: Now to see another loser die... just have to pick who.

Butler Guy is seen pulling Rawk Hawk out of the forest. The Wizzerd floats out with Petey chasing him, and the Piranha Plants toss Birdo and Michael Tarver out of the woods.

Petey: What the?... Aw man!

Michael Tarver: This is YOUR fault you know! You should've known that we should've just teamed up to take out Parakarry AND Rawk Hawk since they're the two biggest winners!

Petey: If your so smart why didn't YOU think of it?!

Michael Tarver gets an idea.

Michael Tarver: You're dumber than blueberries!

Birdo goes into her trance like state.

Michael Tarver: Birdo, you're Petey's "Pal". Explain to him why I'm right.

Birdo walks over to Petey.

Birdo: Petey, you really ARE an idiot! I've seen your performance since you first appeared and you've done nothing good on this island! You've destroyed every form of shelter we had, everything we get from you is only here for a couple of days. AND, you whine ALL the time! There's no doubt who I'm voting for!

Michael Tarver and Birdo nod at each other and walk off. Rawk Hawk looks at the pair with scepticism.

Rawk Hawk: Hmmmm.

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: Something's not right with Birdo. We're going to vote out the human today. Suddenly, she's friends with him! Something's not right!

Terrible Powers

Everyone gets back to camp, and Rawk Hawk immediately watches Glitz Pit wrestling.

Rawk Hawk: C'mon Craw Daddy, you can beat the Koopinator!

Petey: Can you be quiet Rawk Hawk? I'm trying to drown my sorrows from Birdo in my favourite TV show!

Petey goes back to watching his TV. If by TV, you mean the Wizzerd strapped to a tree, then yes.

Grodus: How could you, my love?

Toadette: I only used you to takeover your army! I DON'T ACTUALLY LOVE YOU!


Petey: You should have paid attention to her more so that it would have never happened, and now looked what happened to you, Grodus!

Rawk Hawk: Do you always have to talk to the TV? I can barely hear, and Craw Daddy's about to do his finishing move!

Petey: But I can't miss this! I have to see what happens to Grodus!

Rawk Hawk: Then I guess I'll have to turn up the volume. Butler Guy!

Butler Guy: Right away sir!

He grabs the remote and turns up the volume, but now Petey can't hear his show, so turns up his volume. This ends up going back and forth until the volume gets so loud, we can hear glass shattering in the distance, and the camera lens breaking.

Camera Shy Guy: Dang it, I just got these new lens!

The camera goes back to normal. We see Birdo yelling at Rawk Hawk.

Birdo: And ANOTHER Thing! I hate your stupid Wrestling gimmick! You're too dumb even for an alliance! I'm cutting it, we're done.

Rawk Hawk, Professional Wrestler: I swear I don't know what snapped in her brain. It almost reminds me of something... I wonder.

Rawk Hawk:... Blueberries.

Birdo reverts to normal.

Birdo: Oh hi Rawk Hawk! So how about we vote out Tarver next?

Rawk Hawk: I thought so.

Birdo: Thought what?

Rawk Hawk: Tarver's abusing your hypnotic state.

Birdo: Again?!

Rawk Hawk: I never trusted that guy. Now he's turned on all of us! But I just got a plan.

Rawk Hawk whispers into Birdo's ear, she nods. The camera cuts to Michael Tarver sitting on a branch.

Michael Tarver, Professional Wrestler: I gotta feeling... that's tonight's going to be a good night. That tonight's going to be a good night. That tonight's going to be a good good night.

Tribal Council

Terrible Powers enter with their torches and sit down. Bow, Koops, Lakitu, and Jolene enter.

N. Gin: So here we are again. Tarver-

Michael Tarver: Michael Tarver.

N. Gin: … You know what I’m skipping you!

Michael Tarver: HEY!

N. Gin: Rawk Hawk, how do you feel about the Butler?

Rawk Hawk: He’s a nice guy. He really helps me when I want to be lazy. I really wish I won immunity to go with him though. Though I think I’ll survive.

N. Gin: Interesting… Birdo, what do you think about the alliances on this show?

Michael Tarver: *Whispering* Blueberries.

Birdo turns into her hypnotic state.

Birdo: There are no alliances on this show. Yeah, I worked with Rawk Hawk to eliminate some guys! Like Lakitu!

Lakitu gasps.

Birdo: Hey Petey! Me and Rawk Hawk were really the ones who voted Lakitu out before you could apologize to him! I admit it! However, I broke up the alliance because Rawk Hawk’s a stupid leader!

Petey: GRRRR!

Ella: So Petey, do you have a good idea on who you’ll vote for?

Petey: Oh, I know who I’m voting for.

Blueytroopa: Ok, time to vote.  Rawk Hawk, you’re up.

Rawk Hawk goes to vote.

Rawk Hawk: *Whispering* Time for you to go… Tarver.

Petey goes to vote.

Petey: *Whispering*  I really wanted to apologize to Lakitu. But you broke up the last strand of our friendship, Rawk Hawk. Which is why I’m eliminating you.

Parakarry goes to vote.

Parakarry: *Whispering* You aren’t yourself .

Michael Tarver goes to vote.

Michael Tarver: *Whispering* My plan is perfect, all I need is for Birdo to vote for Petey. Hm hm hm.

Michael Tarver returns. The hypnotic Birdo gets up to vote.

Rawk Hawk: You know… I really like Blueberries.

Michael Tarver: Nobody cares… wait!

Birdo turns back to normal.

Michael Tarver: I also like blue-

Rawk Hawk punches Michael Tarver in the mouth. Michael Tarver gets up.

Michael Tarver: MPHMHPH!... MPHMHPMHPHMPHKMHP! (BLUEBERRIES!... Wait! My lips! My lips are so swollen, I can’t talk!... DANG IT!)

Birdo goes to vote and comes back.

N. Gin: I’ll go tally the votes.

N. Gin goes to get the voting box and comes back with it.

N. Gin: First vote… Michael Tarver.

Michael Tarver: (I hope that vote is my only one.)

N. Gin: Second vote… Petey.

Petey growls at Rawk Hawk.

N. Gin: Third vote… Birdo

Birdo: Huh?

N. Gin: Fourth vote… Rawk Hawk.

Rawk Hawk: What?

N. Gin: … Twelfth person eliminated from Survivor 2: The REAL Deal and fifth person on our jury…

Ella begins playing suspenseful music. N. Gin slowly unfolds the last vote.

N. Gin: … Michael Tarver.

Michael Tarver: MPHH! MPHH! MPHH! (NO! NO! NO!)

N. Gin: Michael Tarver, hand me your torch.

Michael Tarver grabs his torch and hands it to N. Gin. He turns it upside down and extinguishes in the sand.

Ella: Please whack the person responsible.

Michael Tarver whacks Rawk Hawk with his staff.

Rawk Hawk: Fair trade.

Blueytroopa: And get in the cannon.

Michael Tarver goes into the cannon.

N. Gin, Ella, and Blueytroopa: Michael Tarver, the tribe has spoken.

Terrible Powers leave. Michael Tarver doesn’t give an interview since he can’t talk.

Who voted for who?
Birdo: Michael Tarver (Tried to hypnotize her again.)
Michael Tarver: Petey (Threat by having two builds and being very kind.)
Parakarry: Birdo (Wasn’t acting like herself. Suspects foul play.)
Petey: Rawk Hawk (Thinks Rawk Hawk wants to totally destroy his friendship with Lakitu.)
Rawk Hawk: Michael Tarver (Tried to destroy alliance and abuse Birdo.)

Meanwhile in the woods…

Bombette: Are you SURE this is going to work?

Beldam: Why of course! Vivian did all of our hair. This should work just as well.

Marilyn: GUH!

Bombette: You’d better be right.

Meanwhile in The Glitz Pit. It’s Badyoyo and Birby against Macho Grubba in the final minutes. In a last attempt, he punches Badyoyo and grabs Birby.


Macho Grubba does his finisher on Birby, then pins him.

Ref Guy: ONE… TWO…

Badyoyo gets on the stage and hits Badyoyo off Birby with a spell from his wand.

Macho Grubba: Give up! I still got a lot juice in my tank! You have nothing left except for a couple of spells!

Badyoyo: I have one spell, I’ve yet to use!... TENACIOUS B! We require our teamwork to win this battle!... COME FORTH!

Lightning bolts fire across the sky. ETFROXX runs out.

Macho Grubba: HA! It didn’t work! There’s only three of you.


ETFROXX kicks Macho Grubba in the stomach.

Macho Grubba: OOF!... No matter! I can handle you!

Macho Grubba grabs ETFROXX.


Macho Grubba: Nope.

Suddenly some Orange Slime covers Macho Grubba’s neck and begins choking him.

Badyoyo: Hey Jalvo! Glad you make it!

Jalvo The Slime: Always glad to help… LEAH! NOW!

Leah Koopa runs into the arena, gets into her shell and whacks Macho Grubba in the stomach with her shell. Jalvo lets go.

Leah Koopa: Take that!

Macho Grubba: Hey ref! You can’t allow this!

Ref Guy: Sorry, you wanted a No Disqualification match.

Macho Grubba: I hate it when I make these mistakes!

He throws ETFROXX into the air to focus on the other members of Tenacious B.


Suddenly a figure pops out and grabs her before she hits the ground.

???: Gotcha!


The figure turns out to be CJ Lambert.

CJ Lambert: Now, let’s go get that giant idiot!

Macho Grubba: HEY! I heard that!

CJ Lambert jumps onstage with his Flamethrower. He begins flaming Macho Grubba with it.

Macho Grubba: OW ! YOW! OUCH! STOP! OW!

CJ Lambert: HA!

Suddenly CJ Lambert’s Flamethrower runs out of juice.

CJ Lambert: Aw man.

Macho Grubba rolls around trying to die down the flames.

Macho Grubba: What other stupid trick do you guys have up your sleeve?


A thunderbolt strikes Macho Grubba.


A Black Magikoopa flies down from the sky.

Badyoyo: Changling! Thanks for showing up!

Macho Grubba: Not even lightning can defeat me you idiots! I can shake this all off!

Changling: But can you survive… A PIANO PLAYING FAIRY?!

Suddenly a Fairy in a Red Dress magically appears out of thin air. She’s carrying a Piano. She whacks Macho Grubba with it.

Macho Grubba: OW! Who’s this?

Badyoyo: Autumn! Tenacious B’s Pint Sized Guardian! She also plays our theme!

Macho Grubba: *Pant*… *Pant*… What else do you got?

Badyoyo:…  YO! BIG D!

Suddenly Fistpump music plays. King DeDeDe runs on stage. Only this isn’t the same King DeDeDe as you’ve seen in games. He has spiked hair, a leather jacket, cool shades, and his hammer looks like a closed fist.


King DeDeDe whacks Macho Grubba in the stomach with his hammer. This knocks him down.

King DeDeDe: I’M THE BIG D! I’M BADYOYO’S APPRENTICE! I’m going to protect Tenacious B and all things quality! If you aren’t quality! Then I’m going to DEDEDESTROY you!

Badyoyo: YEAH! Fist pump!

Badyoyo and The Big D start fist pumping. Macho Grubba jumps up.

Macho Grubba: That’s it! I want this to be a fair one on one match! And I want to battle that Squirt! Birby!

Birby: I’m not squirt!

Birby jumps up on Macho Grubba’s head and hits him with his hammer.  Macho Grubba falls on his back. Birby jumps up onto his chest.

Ref Guy: One… Two… THREE!

Tenacious B celebrates, and Autumn begins playing their theme song. Badyoyo grabs a microphone.

Badyoyo: Here’s your winner!... BIRBY!

All of Tenacious B get on stage, grab hands and take a bow. The members of the audience that survived that battle applaud. Badyoyo tosses the microphone to Grubba. As Tenacious B leave Macho Grubba grabs the mic.

Macho Grubba: NOT SO FAST! I’m in still in charge! And I say… United you all may stand! But divided you must all fall! Which is why I’m putting you all in singles matches next episode! Winners stay in the major leagues! Losers go to Minor Leagues!

Badyoyo: Who cares! We’ll take them all down!

Birby: If I can defeat Macho Grubba, I can defeat anyone!

ETFROXX: I am a Black Belt! I’ll karate chop my opponents!

CJ Lambert: I’ll scorch mine!

Changling: Hmph. I can take out anyone. If I joined this business, I’d be champion in a month at longest.

Leah Koopa: YEAH! I’ll win for quality! And Tenacious B!

Jalvo The Slime: Really, I think we’d be all champions if we joined the business. So bring on your toughest men!

Autumn: Heehee, I’m ready for anyone.


Macho Grubba: We’ll see Tenacious B… we’ll see.

Tenacious B give high fives to each other and the camera fades out.

To Be Continued...

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