Baddiemon: Catastrophe with the Cloud Badge

By Lemmy Koopa

After some commercials which are more interesting than the cartoon itself...

It's Spiny!

Spiny: Spiny!

Neh neh neh!

Princess Toadstool: For dinner we offer Chicken Teriyaki.

Mario: (sniffle) No lasagna?

Princess Toadstool: Sorry. I always eat chicken so as to stay in top strength for training.

Mario cries those big wide animated tears.

Princess Toadstool: Follow me and I'll take you to your rooms.

They enter the castle, and nobody notices when a huge balloon lands in front of the castle.

Large Figure 2: We're here!

Large Figure 1: I'm afraid of the dark!

Small Figure: Oh brother...

Large Figure 2: Do we all know the plan?

Large Figure 1: No.

Large Figure 2: (sigh) We dress up as Officer Wendys, and then we tell Mario to give us his Baddiemon or else we'll arrest him.

Large Figure 1: I can't remember all that!

Small Figure: What do I get to do?

Large Figure 2: You get to finish our theme song and give witty wisecracks.

Large Figure 1: How come he gets the best parts?

Large Figure 2: (slaps forehead) Give me the costumes.

Large Figure 1: What costumes?

Large Figure 2: The Officer Wendy masks and uniforms.

Large Figure 1: I thought you had them!

The large figures look at the small one.

Small Figure: Don't look at me.

The figures start to punch each other again, and are only saved from being blasted off by the fact that they are too tired to punch very hard.

In the castle...

Mario is getting ready to go to bed.

Yoshi: Don't Mario think Mario put Baddiemon in Baddiecenter? Nurse Susan very good.

Mario: I'm-a too tired!

Mario tosses his Baddieball (the one that he has) over his shoulder. It lands in the waste basket.

Luigi: I-a wonder if Princess Toadstool needs-a company...

Mario gets into bed, and Hammer Brother climbs into bed with him. They struggle for space and both end up on the floor.

Mario: Good night.

Hammer Brother: Broham...

In the morning...

Yoshi: Mario, get up!

Mario: It's-a too early, Mommy!

Hammer Brother: Hammer Bro!

Hammer Brother throws a hammer at Mario. That wakes him up.

Mario: I'm awake! Man!

Yoshi: Mario get ready battle.

Luigi: Yeah. I-a really want to see Princess-a Toadstool again.

Mario: Okay, but I-a need breakfast.

3 hours later...

Mario: Okay, now I'm-a ready.

He walks to the Baddiemon Arena, with Yoshi and Luigi right behind. There he finds Princess Toadstool, who has been waiting patiently for who-knows-how-long.

Princess Toadstool: Are you ready?

Mario: I-a sure am... maybe.

Princess Toadstool: Then let the battle begin.

Princess Toadstool drops a Baddieball. It opens.

Lakitu: Lakitu!

Mario: What's-a that?

Mario pulls out his Baddiedex.

Baddiedex: Lakitu. No information known.

Mario: Luigi, which of-a my Baddiemon should I use?

Luigi is staring at Princess Toadstool.

Luigi: Huh?

Mario: Yoshi? What-a do you think?

Yoshi: Mario use Bandit. Bandit strong against flying.

Mario: Okay... oops! I-a left Bandit upstairs! Now who-a do I use?

Yoshi: Mario have one choice!

Mario: Who?

Yoshi: Hammer Brother!

Mario: Who?

Yoshi: Just choose Hammer Brother!

Mario: Okay, whatever. Hammer Brother, I-a choose you!

Hammer Brother: Hammer!

Princess Toadstool: Lakitu, Bolt now.

Lakitu: Lakit!

A bolt bursts out of Lakitu's cloud and hits Hammer Brother.

Hammer Brother: Brother!

Mario: Hammer Brother, counter with-a... I-a can't remember any of your moves!

Princess Toadstool: Rapid Fire.

Lakitu: Lakitu lakit!

Lakitu throws Spiny Shell after Spiny Shell at Hammer Brother. Hammer Brother falls down, but, with a mighty "ham!" is just barely able to get back up.

Suddenly, three figures walk into the Battle Arena. Two of them are wearing blue plastic bags with garbage stains on them and a cardboard triangle hat spray-painted blue. The other is hanging around in the back where Mario can't see him.

Large Figure 2: Halt, in the name of the law!

Large Figure 1: Yeah!

Princess Toadstool: (with Lakitu still Rapid Firing) Who are you?

Mario: Yeah!

Large Figure 2: I'm Officer Wendy!

Large Figure 1: I'm Officer Wendy, too!

Small Figure: I'm not here.

Luigi: TWO Officer Wendys AND a Princess Toadstool?! I'm-a in love!

Princess Toadstool: Is there a problem, officers?

Officer Wendy 1: Yes. You have violated Baddiemon Code Number 9876523A and a half.

Officer Wendy 2: So you gotta give us all your Baddiemon!

The Not-Present Figure: Or else!

Princess Toadstool: Well, I guess I have no choice. Lakitu, return!

Lakitu is pulled back into its Baddieball, then Princess Toadstool gives all her Baddieballs to the officer Wendys.

Yoshi: Mario too.

Mario: Ah man! But hey! At least I'll still get lunch!

Mario gives Hammer Brother, the only Baddiemon he has with him, to the Officer Wendys. The Officer Wendys put all the Baddiemon into a plastic bag. Then, with an evil laugh, they rip off their costumes in one sweep.

(A note from Lemmy: Warning: The following song is not a Mario song. Please use discretion when listening.)

Yoshi: Hey! They not Officer Wendy! They...

Large Figure 1 and Large Figure 2: Team Koopa!

Large Figure 2: Prepare for doom!

Large Figure 1: Make it soon!

Large Figure 2: To punch, punish, and pummel all plumbers!

Large Figure 1: To make others say their life is a bummer!

Large Figure 2: To snatch the throne from the hands of good!

Large Figure 1: To take more power than anyone should!

Large Figure 2: Lemmy!

Large Figure 1: Iggy!

Lemmy: Team Koopa! Cross us and you'll be dead!

Iggy: We'll steal your Baddiemon, or your money instead!

Koopa Troopa: Boot to the head!

Luigi: Team Koopa?! My heart is-a broken!

Lemmy: That's not all that'll be broken if you try to stop us!

Mario: Dang! When's-a lunch?

Koopa Troopa: Well, time to go! See ya!

Mario: Wait, I need to battle you!

Iggy: Why? You know you'll lose.

Mario: Yeah, but maybe I'll-a make a stunning comeback and get a special meal, or-a something.

Lemmy: Very well! Goomba, go!

Goomba: Goomba!

Iggy: Go Shelless Koopa!

Shelless Koopa: Shelless!

Mario: Hey, wait a sec! You stole my Baddiemon!

Lemmy: Us? No!

Iggy: We're gonna get away! We're gonna get away!

Koopa Troopa: Not with our sanity...

Mario starts to sweat that huge water droplet thingy, 'cuz it's 90 degreees Celcius outside. Suddenly, he sees a Baddieball sitting on the ground. Apparently, it fell out of the waste basket when room service emptied the trash. What luck! Mario snatches it up and threw it.

Mario: Go Baddieball!

The Baddieball hits the ground and opens.

Bandit: Bandit!

Lemmy and Iggy: A Bandit? Hah hah hah hah hah!

Bandit: Ban?

Mario: Bandit... Sleep attack!

Bandit goes to sleep.

Iggy: We're gonna win! We're gonna win!

Lemmy: Goomba, Poison Dart!

Goomba: Goo!

The dart hits Mario.

Mario: Ow!

Iggy: Shelless Koopa, Bite!

Shelless Koopa: Koo!

Shelless Koopa Bites Bandit. It looks like Bandit is almost knocked out.

Suddenly, Bandit flashes. Mario, Yoshi, and Luigi rub their eyes. Suddenly, Bandit grows larger, and a bat appears in its hands. Mario takes out his Baddiedex.

Baddiedex: Baseball Boy, the evolved form of Bandit. No information known.

Yoshi: Mario Bandit finally evolve!

Luigi: Finally is-a right.

Mario: Bandit! Yeah! I mean, Baseball Boy!

Lemmy: Uh oh...

Iggy: What?

Without waiting for orders, Baseball Boy swings its bat widely. Luckily, it smacks Goomba, Shelless Koopa, Koopa Troopa, Lemmy, and Iggy. They roll down a hill on Lemmy's ball.

Lemmy, Iggy, and Koopa Troopa: Look's like Team Koopa's barreling off again!

Goomba: Ba!

Shelless Koopa: Less!


Yoshi: Yeah! Mario win!

Luigi: I-a can't believe it.

Mario: Woo hoo!

Princess Toadstool: Thank you Mario! For saving all the Baddiemon, I am proud to present you with the Cloud Badge!

Mario takes it from her.

Luigi: Can I touch your hand, too?

Yoshi: Let Yoshi see!

Mario holds the badge between his thumb and forefinger. It is a piece of tin with a smiley face on it.

Mario: Yeah!

Yoshi: Mario have four badges now. Mario only need four more.

Princess Toadstool: Hey, where are the Baddiemon?!

Mario: Oops! We-a never got them from Team Koopa! They-a must have fallen somewhere down the hill.

Princess Toadstool: Go find them!

Luigi: Anything for a pretty lady!

Mario and Yoshi: Agggghhhh!

Yoshi punches Luigi and he goes flying.

Narrator: And so Mario earns his fourth badge, and, after leaving Baseball Boy behind with Princess Toadstool because it threatened to smack them all otherwise, he, Yoshi, and Luigi head off down the hill to search for the missing Baddiemon, What obstacles and adventures will they find?

Lemmy: They've got to be around here somewhere!

Iggy: My head hurts!

Koopa Troopa: Shut up and keep searching!

Iggy: Don't tell me to shut up!

Iggy throws his partners, like before.

Lemmy, Iggy, and Koopa Troopa: Looks like Team Koopa's flying off again!


The End

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