Chapter 18: Pyramid Scheme
P.T. made it to Pagoda Peak, but had to deal with the Karate Duo Number One. Even with the help of Dry Bones, he was no match for their skill. However when Fawful came to make things worse with a mini game, P.T. and Dry Bones still came out on top, but it was all for nothing. Elsewhere, Violet continued to win at the Star Battle Arena, even with two extra foes to deal with. What will happen next?
<Opening: Golden Time Lover, by Sukima Switch>
Boshi is in Pyramid Park, lapping up the oasis water like nobody’s business.
Boshi: OH MY DAD THAT PEPPER WAS HOT!
Squeek: Hey buddy, wanna save some for the rest of us?
Boshi: BACK OFF!
Squeek: Sheesh, forget this! I’m just going to the Mario Kart place!
Boshi: ... The what?
There...
Boshi: Wow, I can’t believe they sell karts around here.
???: You lookin’ to buy, Boshi?
Boshi: May- Wait, how’d you know my name?!
The cloaked person unveils himself.
Boshi: Oh, you’d BETTER be a mirage!
???: I’m Cowboy Jed, proprietor of the Mario Kart Emporium and fourth member of the Fawful Six!
Boshi: Ugh... Let me guess, you want to battle me for the Millennium Star.
Cowboy Jed: Yesiree!
Boshi: Gosh! Fine, let’s just get it over with!
A Whacka pops out from the ground.
Whacka: The goal of Pyramid Park is simple! See that Bandit over there? He just stole a Star from the Bowser Pyramid!
Bandit: Sure did!
Whacka: Now you’ve got to get it back! First one to do so and return it to the Bowser Pyramid wins!
Boshi: So we’re chasing down a Bandit? Big whoop, I’m a racing machine! ... Kind of.
Cowboy Jed: Lookit this briefcase!
Boshi: Yeah, so?
Cowboy Jed smacks Boshi upside the head with the briefcase, and runs after the Bandit.
Cowboy Jed: IMMA GETTIN’ BEHIND THE WHEEL!
He hops into a Wild Wing and drives off.
Boshi: LOW BLOW, COWBOY!
Meanwhile...
Ballyhoo: Welcome to King Boo’s Haunted Hideaway! The aim is to find King Boo somewhere in here and get a Star! Twice! Just watch out for dead end rooms that take you back to the start! And the layout is never the same twice! All right you two, let’s have a good, fun battle!
Violet and Sergeant Guy glare at each other.
Star Battle 3!
Ballyhoo: Good luck!
Guy: Hey since this is kind of a maze or something, I’m just gonna run around.
Ballyhoo: Well... I forgot the dice block anyway. So go ahead!
Guy runs into the house.
Guy’s voice: MOMMY! I’M LOST!
Violet: Eep! Uhhh, can we do a different board?
Ballyhoo: No way!
Violet nervously walks into the house.
Violet: Do it for the win... do it for the win... do it for the win...
Back at Pyramid Park...
Cowboy Jed’s doing donuts in the sand, and it’s all Boshi can do to avoid getting run over.
Boshi: I WILL DESTROY YOU!
Bandit’s voice: Awesome, they’re totally forgetting about me!
Boshi: Dang it, Cowboy, aren’t you supposed to be trying to get the Star?!
Cowboy Jed: No way Jose! Fawful just wanted me to run over y’all so yeeeu can’t get that there Star! Lookit that Star!
Boshi looks at it.
Boshi: Zomg! It’s white with a rainbow-y glow! It’s the Millennium Star!
Bandit: No duh.
Boshi jumps into the air and flutters. He proceeds to ground pound on Cowboy Jed with proper timing.
Cowboy Jed: YOW! That smarts, I reckin’...
Boshi runs after the Bandit.
Bandit: No!
The Bandit starts running around.
Boshi: Oh no you don’t! I am NOT battling a spokesman cowboy all for nothing!
Bandit: You’ll have to catch me first!
Boshi sticks his tongue out real far and starts spinning in circles. His tongue eventually latches onto the Bandit, who throws the Star to a Blooper.
Blooper: Nice going, Fin.
Bandit (Fin): Thanks!
Blooper: We got the Star, now we can-
Boshi throws an egg at the Blooper, causing him to drop the Star. Boshi, Blooper, and Fin all then dive to get the Millennium Star. However Cowboy Jed runs over all of them with his kart and picks up the Star in one fell swoop.
Cowboy Jed: Yee-haw! Y’all aren’t gonna git it that easily!
Boshi: FURY!
At King Boo’s place...
Pink Boos: HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!
Violet: AAAAHHH!!!
A swarm of miniature Pink Boos chase Violet across a hallway.
King Boo: BOO! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
King Boo floats across from another door, chasing Guy.
Guy: I WAS ALREADY SCARED!
Donkey Kong runs across the hall.
DK: Where party at?
Ballyhoo walks across.
Ballyhoo: Where’d that microphone go?
Hammer Bro. runs across, chased by Violet and King Boo.
Hammer Bro.: I JUST WANTED TO PLAY SOME MARIO PARTY!
Guy chases the swarm of Pink Boos, blasting spells from his wand.
Guy: Back! Get back!
A Whomp walks across, chasing DK.
Whomp: I want payback! You wouldn’t pay full price for hiring us on your board in the original game!
Funky Kong walks across a hall, carrying a surfboard.
Funky: I am DOWN with this mansion!
Violet and Guy are chased by Piranha Plants.
Piranha Plants: Snack time!
Violet/Guy: Nooo!!!
Mr. Game & Watch walks across the hall.
Mr. Game & Watch: Beep!
Back at Pyramid Park...
Cowboy Jed: Lookit this! I’m on top of this here doggy house! Hoo boy! Good luck gittin’ this Star now, varmints!
Cowboy Jed is atop the Red Chomp House, with the titular beast barking at anyone who so much as looks in its direction.
Boshi: Well crud! How do I reach that?!
Fin: You’re telling me!
Blooper: Seriously.
Boshi: What are you guys even doing?!
Blooper: Well we found out that we were too late in our quest to stop Fawful from being resurrected, so we just started looking around different boards and here we are.
Boshi: Well I need that Star!
Fin: Too bad, we got here first!
Cowboy Jed’s now throwing Spiny Blue Shells at anyone who comes within a ten-foot radius of his location.
Fin: Dang!
Cowboy Jed: Yee-haw! Just try an’ stop me now, pardner!
Shake King: MY BEARD AND I ARE ALSO ANNOYED!
Boshi: ... YOU?!
Shake King: YES! WE ARE HERE TO OBTAIN THE MILLENNIUM STAR!
Boshi: Sheesh!
<Song: Boshi
and a few other guys try to reach Cowboy Jed, by Boshi.>
-Cowboy Jed:
Yee-haw!
-Boshi:
I’m
fast. I’m blue. I’m quick. I’m handsome! When I’m through, your son will
pay a ransom! So hush now please- Cowboy- hand it over now please!
(Boshi dodges
a shell.)
-Boshi: Go
on! And hit me! But I’ve got re-flexes! I’m not quitting now, so... save
your objections! Really, Jed. Give me that shiny Star! AH!
(He gets tripped
by a POW Block.)
-Boshi: NOOO!!!
-Cowboy Jed:
Next?
-Fin: IIIIII,
oh IIIIIII. I’ve got problems with cowboys... Problems with cowboys...
Whyyyyy oh whyyyyy, am I be-ing Shade’s... envoy? Spare meeeeee, oh spare
meeeee! I’ll be your best friend, and I’ll... never steal, things again!
(He’s hit by
a shell.)
-Fin: MY LEG!
-Cowboy Jed:
Anyone else feelin’ brave t’day? C’mon!
-Shake King:
I’M
A KING NOW, SO COME ON, GIVE ME SOME SLACK. ‘CAUSE MY NEW BOSS SAYS IF
I DON’T... I CAN’T COME BAACK. SO QUIET COWBOY, SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR BRAND
NEW TOY! BOSHI NO, STOP THROWING EGGS AT ME!
-Cowboy Jed:
And the squid?
(Shake King falls
due a shell.)
-Blooper: IIIII,
how IIIIII.... How I really hate that cowboy. No more shells, keep it down
boy! Hiiiiiim, that western jerk! He’s driving me nuts! And you Fin...
show some guts! No ands, ifs... or buts!
(Blooper manages
to ram into Jed, knocking him down. He takes the Millennium Star.)
-Blooper: Yes!
Thank
you, stupid cowboy, now I’ve got this shining Staaaaaaaaaar!!!
Song: Boshi
and a few other guys try to reach Cowboy Jed
Performed
by: Boshi, Fin, Shake King, his beard, Blooper, and Cowboy Jed
Album: “Filler
Time”
Blooper: Now I’ve got the Millennium Star!
Fin: Sweet! Time to make like a bakery truck and haul buns! ... Remember when I said that in the actual game?
Blooper: No, I made my debut in the one after that one.
Fin: Shoot.
Blooper: And then they wouldn’t let me in the DS one, I only got a brief mention about Kamek using some of my ink!
Fin: Weird...
Boshi: Come on, I have to turn my friend back to normal!
Blooper: Why should we believe you?
Boshi: Because!
At the hideaway...
King Boo: BWAHAHA! I love scaring people!
Violet: Wait, you’ve been chasing us all around! Aren’t we supposed to look for you to get Stars?
King Boo: I have to help people?! Awww... Fine, if you’re gonna throw a fit about it!
He throws a Star at Violet, but she manages to catch it.
Violet: Now you send me to the start to get anoth-
King Boo: Oh forget that! Just take the other one so I can go back to scaring!
He hands it over to Violet.
Violet: Yay!
Sergeant Guy rushes into the room.
Guy: Did I win?
The Stars turn him back to good (or as good as he was, being a Koopa minion). Back at the Star Carnival...
Ballyhoo: Ladies and gentlemen, gamers everywhere! Violet has won round three!
Guy: Ow... What happened?
Goomp/Paraplonk: Sergeant! You’re back to normal!
Guy: Huh? Really, what happened?
Goomp: Long story.
Violet: That’s all three of them, but there are still three boards. What do I do now?
Ballyhoo: Well it turns out the budget won’t let us do Bowser’s Warped Orbit, so-
Fawful appears.
Fawful: I was having hopefulness that you would be asking that! Your fink-rat companions have been defeating the Fawful Six wherever they are going! So the ones who have been defeated are being reassigned to do the stopping of you at here! Have meeting-ness with the next challenger who will stop the one who is you!
Midbus appears.
Midbus: AXEM RANGER-
Violet: No, the Axem Rangers are a group, I’m just an Axem!
Midbus: -I AM CHALLENGING YOU TO A STAR BATTLE!
Ballyhoo: Ooh, new and exciting! Here comes a new challenger, and he’ll stop at nothing to stop Violet, who will stop at nothing until she gets the Millennium Star to stop Fawful, who himself will stop at nothing to make Plit his own personal dark wasteland! The tension! See you next time on Star Battle Arena, folks! Be seeing you at Shy Guy’s Perplex Express!
Meanwhile...
Cowboy Jed: Mah head...
Red Chomp: ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF ARF!!!
Cowboy Jed: Hoo doggies!
Shake King: ACTUALLY THAT IS A-
Cowboy Jed is scared off by the ferocious red ore fear orb, and Fin and Blooper have already made a clean getaway. They’re meeting inside the ship, in the engine room.
Shade: Sweet, I can’t believe we finally found it!
Fin: You’re telling me! It was so easy!
Blooper: For YOU maybe! I’m the one who actually got it!
Fin: I stole it to begin with!
Shade: Whatever, let’s just hurry to pick up Petey from Neon Heights.
Boshi: Hmm...
Chapter 19: Neon Heights Nights
Boshi went to Pyramid Park to find the Millennium Star- and he did! But Fin and Blooper had beaten him to it, and then Cowboy Jed showed up as a member of the Fawful Six in order to take it and hide it. If that wasn’t enough, the Shake King showed up. In the end, Fin and Blooper got away with it, but Boshi stowed away on their ship. And at King Boo’s Haunted Hideaway, Violet defeated Sergeant Guy, but now has to deal with Midbus. What will happen next?
...
Larry was in darkness.
Larry: No Wi-fi?! What a rip! Now I can’t download the thing to get Victini!
Dark Fawful appears.
Larry: Oh, it’s you. So what, your power run out again and I get to take back over?
Dark Fawful: Do not be being overconfident! I am having the power of growing!
Larry: Huh?
Dark Fawful: My power is doing the growing! Longer and longerer are the times of which Fawful can be having the body of the one who is you!
Larry: Oh... Shoot.
Dark Fawful: And I have been giving the orders to the minions of now being employed to Fawful... do not be listening to Larry, only to Fawful! Fawful must be having return to in here, but you cannot be doing anything! I have chortles!
In reality...
Larry: I’m back in control? Cool!
Koofawful (Fawful-Koopatrol): Quiet, you!
Larry: Lame.
At Neon Heights...
Bobbery: Ah, Neon Heights. I believe Scarlette wanted to visit this place once...
Bobbery starts looking around.
Bobbery: I say. Good sir, have you seen a white Star anywhere around here?
Shy Guy: Ya gotta look in the flying boxes, kid.
Bobbery: Why... Blabberton’s beard, lad! I’m older than you!
Kid’s voice: Mommy, why is there a purple cloud?
Bobbery: Purple Cloud?
Solid Snake: Purple Cloud?
Bobbery: Why... It’s Giga Lakitu!
Solid Snake: Giga Lakitu?
Bobbery: Stop repeating me!
Solid Snake: Repeating?
Bobbery: ...
Solid Snake: ......
Bobbery: ...
Solid Snake: .... Metal Gear!
Bobbery ignores Snake and approaches Giga Lakitu.
Bobbery: I say! You’re here?!
Giga Lakitu: Huh?! Shoot! Worst luck ever! But yes, I am Giga Lakitu! I am the fifth and most handsome of the Fawful Six! And I have all the Stars of Neon Heights! None of them are the Millennium Star, but I’m sure I can do with these anyway! Ha!
Brown gunk from nowhere suddenly smothers Giga Lakitu. Petey Piranha walks up, takes the Stars, and flies off.
Petey: Mine!
Bobbery: I say!
Shy Guy: Hey, he can’t just take our Stars like that!
Bobbery: Fear not good sir, I shall get them back!
???: Can we help?
Blue Toad and Yellow Toad walk up to Bobbery.
Blue Toad: We were in the middle of a party with Toad and Toadette, and we heard someone stole some stars!
Yellow Toad: We helped save the Mushroom Kingdom once, we’d like to do it again!
Bobbery: Very well, sirs. But first..
Bobbery jumps into Giga Lakitu’s cloud and explodes.
Giga Lakitu: LOOKS LIKE GIGA LAKITU IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAIIIIIN!
Meanwhile...
Ballyhoo: Clash of the decade, folks! Brawns vs. brains! Today on Shy Guy’s Perplex Express we’ve got two passengers hungry for a Power Star! First to bring 50 coins to Holly Koopa wins! Good luck!
Midbus: I WILL BE HAVING YOUR DEFEAT!
Violet: We’ll see about that.
They stare at each other.
Star Battle 4!
Midbus knocks Violet over and runs into the train.
Violet: Noooo!!!
Midbus picks up Holly Koopa and shakes her.
Midbus: YOU SHALL GIVE THE STAR TO MYSELF!
Holly Koopa: Why, sir, you are rude!
Midbus: I AM NOT CARING ABOUT THE OPINION OF THE ONE WHO IS YOU!
Violet tries to tackle Midbus, but he’s so big that it doesn’t do anything.
Ballyhoo: Uh uh uh, Midbus! You can’t just force a Star! You have to earn it! Now as penalty, you’ll need to return to the beginning!
Midbus: NOOOO!!!
Back at Neon Heights...
Yellow Toad: I’m bored!
Blue Toad: Well come on, we’ve only been looking for two minutes.
Bobbery: However, this is a large city. There must be an easier way of finding him...
Yellow Toad: There are three main attractions here, so let’s just split up and find them!
Bobbery: Capital idea... What is your name again, lad?
Yellow Toad: Yellow Toad. But some of my friends call me Wolley.
Bobbery: ...
Bobbery heads to the movie set.
Director Guy: Hey! Bud! Outta the way, yer ruinin’ mah shot!
Bobbery: A thousand pardons, good sir. I was just-
Director Guy: Yeah, yeah, yeah. “Oh, I didn’t really want to be in your movie, I just HAPPENED to be here!” Nice try, kid. But Neon Heights is for the big boys, not whatever smalltime theatrics they have back in your old town.
Bobbery: For starters, in Rogueport we even didn’t have-
Director Guy: Whatever, I’ve heard from people just like you a thousand times. Face it, you don’t have what it takes to make it he-
Bobbery: I’M NOT TRYING TO MAKE IT HERE! I’M SEARCHING FOR A PIRANHA PLANT WHO’S MADE OFF WITH THIS CITY’S STARS! IF I DON’T RETURN THEM, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN?! AND ALL THIS ON TOP OF SEARCHING FOR THE MILLENNIUM STAR! ONE OF MY COMPANIONS IS IN GRAVE DANGER, AS IS THE REST OF THE WORLD! I CARE LITTLE FOR YOUR MOVIE!
Bobbery literally explodes, but he’s all right.
Director Guy: ... That passion... Such raw anger... I could envision what you were speaking of, I could see it in your eyes- er, eye! It was beautiful! A little cliché, but beautiful nonetheless! You, sir, are exactly what this film needs! I’m sure I can fit a new character into the script somehow! You’ve got the part!
Bobbery: ... What? No, I’m not-
Director Guy: Hey, I didn’t know what I was talking about then, but you have what it takes after all! MAKEUP!
Another Shy Guy draws a smile under Bobbery’s mustache and an eye on his eye patch.
Bobbery: ...
At the baseball stadium...
Lakitu: And that’s the end of the second inning!
Blue Toad: Watching this sure beats getting Stars!
Petey: I’ll say!
Blue Toad: Hey, wait a minute... Do they have hotdogs around here?
Petey: Yeah, I think Hoggle’s around here somewhere.
At the space place...
Yellow Toad: Oooh!
Fahr Mayor: Pfft! Who needs rocket when you have cannon?
On Shy Guy’s train...
Violet: 3, 2, 1…
She lands on a ? Space.
Magikoopa: Koopa magic, turn this train spa-
Violet: No, think of any UK readers!
Magikoopa: ... Koopa magic, turn this train erratic!
The car Violet is in is traded for the one Midbus is in.
Midbus: HA! NOW I AM BEING CLOSER!
Violet: Nooo!!!
Ballyhoo: Well folks, it looks like Violet may be behind! So let’s give her some help, huh? Here’s a Springo Candy, now you can catch up!
Violet: Thank you.
Midbus reaches the front.
Engineer: Look, buddy. I’m an engineer. That means I solve practical problems.
Engineer Shy Guy: Ignore him.
Midbus: GIVE ME MONEY!
Engineer Shy Guy: Sure thing!
Midbus gets ten coins and climbs up to the top.
Violet: Springo Candy, don’t fail me now!
She eats it and becomes a bit springy. She jumps and somehow makes it to where Midbus is.
Midbus: THIS IS UNFAIR!
At Neon Heights...
Bobbery and Yellow Toad are looking around the city for Petey, but having no luck. They even have one of those montages that consists of them walking in nothingness and all kinds of neon signs are around them.
Yellow Toad: This montage is stupid. Let’s just go see how Yvan’s doing.
Bobbery: I agree.
At the baseball stadium, Bobbery and Yellow Toad get seats next to Blue Toad.
Yellow Toad: There you are!
Blue Toad: Oh, hey guys! This is a great game! Diddy Kong’s Ninjas are beating Birdo’s Bows!
Petey: They sure are! This reminds me of when I played for Wario’s team!
Blue Toad: And Wolley, remember when we were on Princess Peach’s team?
Bobbery: By Mubberton’s muttonchops! He’s right there!
Blue Toad: Huh? Oh, he is! Hey! You’re the guy we’re after!
Petey: Huh? Why?
Yellow Toad: The Stars!
Petey: These? Oh, I thought they could be useful, but they’re just making it harder to carry all my stuff. I guess you can have them back.
Bobbery: Err, thanks, but-
???: REVENGE IS MINE!
Giga Lakitu appears, throwing Spinies everywhere, causing the audience to leave in a panic while the baseball players run away.
Lakitu: And that’s the game, called on account of giant Lakitu ruining my species’s good name!
Blue and Yellow Toad hop down onto the field, followed by Bobbery.
Petey: Eh, I’ve got nothing better to do.
Giga Lakitu: Worst city ever! No Millennium Star, and you guys won’t get off my back! Ooh! What do we have here? The Stars!
Petey: You want them back?
Bobbery: No, lad! He’s working for Fawful!
Petey: That guy Shade failed to stop from being resurrected? Shoot. I didn’t know. When I stole them from him, I just liked that they were shiny.
Bobbery: Whom failed to stop Fawful, now?
Blue Toad: Explain later! I can’t see how to fight this guy! We don’t have Yoshis of our own to spit Spinies with!
Petey spits a cannonball at Giga Lakitu’s face.
Giga Lakitu: OW! THAT REALLY HURT!
Bobbery jumps up and explodes, but this time Giga Lakitu catches on and moves out of the way.
Giga Lakitu: Nice try, but you won’t beat me-
Another cannonball from Petey.
Giga Lakitu: OW! WAS THAT REALLY NEC-
Another cannonball.
Giga Lakitu: COME ON!
Yellow Toad: I have an idea!
Yellow Toad pulls out a small trampoline and jumps on it.
Blue Toad: Good idea!
He follows.
Bobbery: Wait for me!
Petey: Ooh, me too!
The four of them each take turns coming down on Giga Lakitu’s head, but the crown hurts them.
All Four: OW!
Yellow Toad: Okay... Mix Flower!
Blue Toad: Good idea! ... For real, this time!
Giga Lakitu: Huh?
At Shy Guy’s Perplex Express...
Holly Koopa: Why deary, you seem to have a lot of coins! What say I take them off your pretty little hands with this here Star?
Violet: Yes.
She gets a Star.
Violet: Yes!
Back at the Star Carnival...
Ballyhoo: And we have a winner! Violet!
Violet and Midbus appear.
Midbus: I HAVE BECOME THE LOSER! LORD FAWFUL WILL BE DISPLEASED!
He runs away.
Ballyhoo: So it looks like Violet’s run out of opponents! In that case-
???: WE WILL BECOME HER OPPONENTS!
The Shake King appears.
Ballyhoo: Yet another uninvited guest!
Goomp: They’ve got to beef up security around here.
Paraplonk/Guy: You said it....
Ballyhoo: Well, well, well! Now the Shake King, of all people, has joined this party! But that’s all the time for today! See you next time for our final Star Battle!
Back at Neon Heights...
Petey: Well he went down like a soufflé at a rock concert!
Bobbery: And now that those Stars are back in their boxes, I guess there’s really nothing left to do here, due to the Millennium Star’s absence.
The Rainbow Ride airship appears and Shade walks out.
Shade: Petey, we got the Millennium Star!
Petey/Bobbery/Blue Toad/Yellow Toad: What?!
Shade: Yeah! Come on, we’ve got to pick up the others in Windmillville.
Bobbery: I say, may I tag along? One of my friends is in Windmillville too!
Shade: Eh, okay.
Blue Toad/Yellow Toad: Take us with you! We want to help!
Shade: ... Okay.
They all board
the ship.
Chapter 20: (Windmill) Blades of Glory
Bobbery went to Neon Heights to look for the Millennium Star, but Giga Lakitu, the next in the Fawful Six, told him it wasn’t there. Petey Piranha stole Stars from him, so Bobbery went after Petey with the help of Blue Toad and Yellow Toad. They managed to find him and defeat Giga Lakitu in time for Shade to tell them all what happened in Pyramid Park, and now Shade’s group (along with Bobbery and the Toads) are headed to Windmillville. On Shy Guy’s Perplex Express, Violet managed to beat Midbus, but must now face the Shake King!
Pyro Guy is in Windmillville.
Pyro Guy: *muffled*! *muffled*?
Pyro Guy starts looking around for the Millennium Star. He walks up to a Koopa and pokes it on the shell. When the Koopa turns around, Pyro Guy holds up a picture of the Millennium Star.
Koopa: Stars? The only way to get Stars around here is to own a windmill. You can have this one for 10 coins. Deal?
Pyro Guy: *muffled*.
Koopa: Then you should get a job. Or step on a few blue spaces.
Elsewhere...
Ballyhoo: Welcome to Koopa’s Tycoon Town! The rules are simple! First to get four Stars wins! But how do you get Stars, you may ask? Easy! Buy a hotel! The owner of a hotel gets a Star! And that’s not all, folks! Upgrade the quality of the hotel to earn another Star, and maybe even steal it from the original owner! That’s right, you can steal hotels! First to get four Stars wins, as I said! Good luck!
Violet and Shake King glare at each other.
Star Battle 5!
Violet goes first and walks up to a hotel.
Bellhop Koopa: If you need instructions on how to buy a hotel, check out the enclosed instruction book!
Violet: Um... That’s okay... I think. I’ll buy it for ten coins.
Violet gets a Star and her emblem (a blue-purple axe) appears on the front of the hotel.
Random Koopa: Hey! You look like that guy who teamed up with those other guys a few years ago when those subspace guys attacked! Are they coming back?!
Violet: No.
Shake King hits the dice block and puts ten coins into the hotel’s funds.
Bellhop: Sorry sir, you may only invest a maximum of nine coins.
Shake King: FINE... BUT WHAT OF MY BEARD?!
Bellhop: ... Has it any money?
Shake King: A SINGLE COIN!
Bellhop: Then I guess it’s all good. It’s now a two-Star hotel, but Violet is still the owner. Meaning she gets her second Star!
Violet’s voice: Yay!
Shake King: CURSES!
Back in Windmillville...
Pyro Guy: *muffled*!
Koopa: Oh, you want this windmill? 20 coins.
Pyro Guy: *muffled*!
Koopa: No, that is the other windmill you’re probably thinking about.
???: Ah, back home again.
Pyro Guy notices one of Syrup’s henchmen- Grak Barn the green Koopa.
Grak: Oh, it’s one of you people...
Pyro Guy: *muffled*?
Grak: Does it matter? No. So let me enjoy being home.
Pyro Guy: ...
He goes back to the original windmill and pays the money.
Koopa: Oh. Well I guess you’re the owner!
Pyro Guy gets a Star, but it’s just a plain ol’ yellow Star.
Pyro Guy: *muffled*...
Koopa: Watch your language, sir! This is a family website!
???: There, that’s all the Stars.
Pyro Guy looks and sees Poochy with Victor, who is holding a bunch of Stars.
Victor: It’s convenient I managed to have that money- YOU!
He notices Pyro Guy, clearly remembering him from Yold Desert.
Victor: I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!
Victor drops all the stars and pulls out his sword, ready to charge at Pyro Guy.
Victor: AAAAAAAAAAAA-
He’s crushed by a large, pink garbage can. It turns out to be the Junker.
Junker: !!!!!
Poochy: Bark! Bark!
Poochy jumps onto the Junker, knocking the lid off his top and digging through its garbage.
Junker: !!!!!!!
Junker puts his lid back on, knocking Poochy off. The robot then runs away, with Poochy following.
Victor: Ow...
Grak: That was weird.
Victor: HOW DARE THAT THING DO THAT TO ME?!
Victor runs off after the Junker. Pyro Guy decides to follow.
Grak: Freaks. I’m out.
At Koopa’s Tycoon Town...
Violet has invested twenty coins into the next hotel, giving her the win.
Violet: Yes!
Shake King: NOOO!!!
They’re taken back to the Star Carnival.
Ballyhoo: And that’s the game, folks! Violet has won Round 5!
Shake King: NO! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
Ballyhoo: But that’s not all, folks! She’s earned... the Star Rod!
Violet gets a fancy staff, like in Mario Party 8.
Violet: This is the Star Rod?
Ballyhoo: It’s been redesigned by the Star Spirits. There was an incident a long time ago with the Star Rod and the Shadow Queen and a guy named Zant. Long story. Anyway, you’re the winner of the Star Battle Arena!
Shake King: CURSES!
???: I’ll say!
Goomba appears.
Goomba: I give you dark power and this is how you use it?! Simply to warp?!
Shake King: MY BEARD AND I DON’T NEED EXTRA POWER BEYOND THAT!
Goomba: This is over with! I’m taking your powers away!
Shake King: YOU WILL NO-AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
He turns the Shake King into a little bug like Fawful was. A dark arm reaches from Goomba’s mouth, grabs the bug, and pulls it in.
Violet: YOU ATE HIM!
Goomba: And you’re next! You! Me! Final board! Now!
Ballyhoo: No, we don’t have the budget-
Goomba: Well then! And by the way, you stay out of this!
Goomba eats Ballyhoo whole, despite being smaller than him.
Some kid: He’s eating them. And then he’s gonna eat me! Oh my Gooooooo-
Meanwhile at Larry/Fawful’s castle...
Fawful: My power is almost being at restoration! Soon the body of Fawful will reappear and be taking over the Koopa body of the one who is Larry Koopa! It will be being as if there was nothing happening! Then Larry’s essence itself... will have vanishing like a cow in a jungle of farmers!
Cowboy Jed: Yee-haw, who y’all talkin’ to?
Fawful: Business which is not yours! Now... Junker is likely to be having failing at Windmillville like the others... So Fawful will have traveling to there and care will be taken of the matters by himself! Cowboy Jed, Midbus, and Giga Lakitu can go do the duty of guarding to have compensation for doing of the failing!
Cowboy Jed: Okay!
Fawful disappears into a black hole, which then closes.
Cowboy Jed: Lookit that portal!
Back at Windmillville, in the middle of a meadow...
Victor: TRASH CAN!
Junker notices Victor and Pyro Guy. He removes Poochy from his head and throws him at the two, but Pyro Guy catches him.
Victor: DIE!
Victor starts swinging his sword around at Junker, but the garbage can disco dances to avoid the blows.
Victor: WHAT?!
Pyro Guy starts spitting fireballs at Junker, and Victor gets behind the robot so he’s not hit.
Junker: !!!!!!!!
Victor stabs the robot. Much of the giant sword is sticking out of Junker’s stomach.
Victor: HA!
Junker merely grabs the sword and pulls it forward, slamming Victor into his back.
Victor: I HATE YOU!
Junker jumps into the air and lands on his back.
Victor: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Junker gets up and Victor lets go of the sword. Victor then removes his cape, retreats into his shell, and starts spinning, charging up power.
Pyro Guy: *muffled*!
Pyro Guy starts spitting more fireballs at Junker.
Junker: !!!
The robot pulls out a giant ball of trash and throws it at Pyro Guy.
Pyro Guy: *muffled scream*!!!!!
He’s hit. But Junker was too busy taking care of Pyro Guy to notice Victor charging up power. The Dark Koopatrol Shell Slams the Junker.
Junker: !!!!!
Victor: EAT THAT!
Junker grabs the recovering Victor and throws him into a Junker Can.
Victor’s voice: NOOOO!!!
Junker looks around. Pyro Guy is unconscious, Victor is trapped, Victor’s sword is still going through him, and Poochy is playing with a butterfly.
Junker: !
Junker celebrates his victory by doing the Safety Dance. Fawful appears.
Fawful: Junker! Fawful is proud of you! You have shown them the fury of Fawful! You and the ones who are doing Karate are the only ones who haven’t done the failing, like stupid kids in a school but aren’t actually stupid, just maybe they have the eccentricity! You have given the 110 percents! But we must do the preparing now!
Fawful creates a giant portal in the ground. He, Junker, Pyro Guy, Poochy, Victor in the can, and the garbage ball all fall in, then the portal closes.
Voice: Keep it down out there, kids! I’ve got a kid trying to nap! Ugh, I hate living in the sticks...
At the Star Carnival...
Goomba has started going on a rampage.
Goomba: I know you’re hiding here somewhere! I won’t stop until I consume you and the Star Rod! Or at least the Star Rod!
Violet: Oh, I wish I knew what to do!
The Star Rod starts glowing.
Violet: Oh yeah! This can grant wishes! And I know what I can do!
Violet hops atop the trash can she was hiding behind.
Violet: Goomba!
Goomba notices her.
Goomba: There you are...
Violet starts spinning the Star Rod around while Goomba lunges at her. She swings and a ball of light comes out. It hits Goomba dead on, knocking him over and causing him to cough up a few dark clouds.
Goomba: Ow! So you managed to seal up my powers, big deal. I’ll just go to that fool Larry and take some of Fawful’s power from him!
Hot Rodrick drives up and Goomba hops into the car.
Goomba: Later!
They drive off.
Violet: Oh no you don’t! Now that I know that this thing can stop the Dark Star, I bet I could stop all of this now! I wish I had a way to get to Larry’s castle.
A star platform appears and Violet hops on.
???: Wait, take us with you!
It’s Goomp, Guy, and Paraplonk.
Goomp: We want to help!
Guy: We mainly just want to get revenge on Fawful for tricking us again.
Paraplonk: Please?
Violet: Oh, all right.
They all get onto the platform and it flies away. Meanwhile...
Shade: I don’t get it! Where are Victor and Poochy?
Fin: Not to mention that Snifit that Bobbery mentioned.
Grak: Huh, those guys? Yeah, I think they got captured by Fawful or something.
Shade: What?! Oh no! We’ve got to stop them! ... It sure is a good thing we’ve got the Millennium Star.
Fin: Hey, wanna help us?
Grak: No.
Shade: Wait Fin, do you think we should find all of Bobbery’s friends first?
Fin: Nah, they’d understand we’re in a hurry.
Shade: Good enough. Let’s go!
What will happen with Fawful and Larry? What will he have waiting for our heroes? Will they all get there in one piece? What will happen next?!
<Ending: Tsunaida Te, by Lil’B>
Larry: I sure hope something happens soon. This is boring!