Fatman in: A Puzzling Case

By Tenacious B

We start by panning over Diamond City's Center, which is having a Farmer's Market. The cameraman enters Bully's (from Wario's Apprentice) Giant Hut. We see an audience of people clapping.
Bully: Thank you, thank you. Now, on behalf of the Bully Family, it is my honor to present to you, my greatest work of art...
Bully motions to a square curtain behind him.
Bully: But first, let me introduce you to the people who helped me make this... Cousins Bill and Lerky!
Two more Bullies enter. The audience give them a round of applause. They aren't applauding the Bullies, but the cake they're holding.
Bully: They also made me a cake, how sweet of them. Anyway... how am I supposed to eat this?
Bill: I dunno.
Lerky: Beats me.
Bully: Well, you all can have it.
The audience gets up. Bandit (also from Wario's Apprentice) gets out a knife and begins to cut the cake.
The cake explodes; Bandit, the audience, and three Bullies are covered in cake and Puzzle Pieces. Some officers come in.
Officer Ickingos: What in the world happened?
Bully: Somebody planted a bomb in my cake!
Officer Nok: Hey look...
Officer Nok picks up a puzzle piece.
Officer Nok: Puzzle Pieces.
The scene cuts to the Mayor's office.
Officer Ickingos: Do you know what this means, Mr. Mayor?
Mayor: ... Puzzler.
Officer Nok: Right, Mr. Mayor... Wait, Puzzler? Isn't he one of our best men?
Officer Ickingos: He was, but remember, a few months ago he was one of Diamond City's greatest villains. Then...
The scene cuts to Puzzler, a very tan man wearing a normal business suit, a puzzle piece blazer, work pants, fancy shoes, and a large purple top hat, who is getting beaten up by a shining Koopatrol.
Officer Ickingos's Voice: He was destroyed in battle with the late White Knight.
The White Knight slams a spike into Puzzler's head.
Officer Ickingos's Voice: He almost died after the White Knight slammed his head into the back of the Puzzler's head.
Puzzler is seen waking up in an emergency room.
Officer Ickingos's Voice: He rejoiced in the miracle that he survived, and aided Fatman and many other men as a member of our team.
Puzzler is seen shaking hands with Fatman, who is Wario in a black WarioMan suit. The scene cuts back to the mayor's office.
Officer Ickingos: He probably has suffered a mental relapse that he couldn't stop. He thinks he's a villain again.
Mayor: Oh boy, return of the whiny guy... Well, who wants to go find Puzzler and remind him that he's good?
The two officers step back.
Mayor: Looks like we need to call the man behind the black mask... whoever he is...
The Mayor picks up a green telephone.

Meanwhile, the cell phone of Jimmy T starts buzzing. He answers it.
Jimmy T: I'll get him.
Mayor: Thankfully he's available.
The camera cuts to Wario, who is ending a Power Point presentation.
Wario: In conclusion, if we add our two companies together, our stock will rise while everyone else's drops; and we won't need to worry about severe debt if another crash happens.
Some executives wearing Mona Pizza hats (Gee, I wonder what company they own): Good idea, Wario.
Wario: Thank you, I always have wanted to show DAD I can be successful... since both my parents were killed by Toadies and I was left to die.
Jimmy T walks up to Wario and whispers into his ear. He nods.
Wario: If you’ll excuse me, I agreed to teach my stepbrother Waluigi how to hunt.
Wario leaves. The camera cuts to Waluigi leaning against a wall drinking coffee out of a mug.
Wario: Let's go, loser!
Wario grabs Waluigi and drags him off to his private office. There he picks up a normal telephone that goes straight to the Mayor's line.
Wario: Yeah?
Mayor: You'll never guess who's on the loose, your old pal... Puzzler.
Wario: Oh my DAD...
Waluigi: What?!
Wario covers the mouth part of the phone.
Wario: Shut up, loser, or the Mayor will hear you. If anyone knows I'm Fatman, my business will be in the dumps. Puzzler's gone crazy again.
Mayor: Head to my office ASAP.
Wario: I'll be there.
Wario puts down the phonewhile Waluigi knocks over a priceless Wario bust. Wario whacks Waluigi upside the head.
Wario: Why did you just do that?!
Waluigi: Sorry, I always thought we should have a more awesome way of entering the base.
Wario: The safe is safe enough!
Waluigi: Hehe, safe is safe enough. Good one.
Wario elbows Waluigi.
Wario: It wasn't a joke, loser!
Wario opens his vault; he and Waluigi jump in and the safe door closes. Wario grabs a flashlight and they start diving down the piles of coins.
Waluigi: I still find this stupid!
Wario reaches the bottom, which is a passageway filled with jelly. They start swimming through it until they reach... The Fat Cave! The screen fades to black as our intro plays.
Intro: Fatman and Skinny (Waluigi wearing a really tight ninja costume) slide down a ramp, punching a bunch of cardboard villains. (Fatman punches King of Hearts and Puzzler, while Skinny punches Ostrich and Mr. Ice... we'll meet them later.) Fatman flies off the ramp and our logo saying "Fatman" appears at the bottom of your screen.
The camera cuts to a close-up of Wario.
Starring: WARIO
The camera cuts to Waluigi.
They start beating up more cardboard villains (these can be anyone). A black version of Wario's car, the Fat Mobile, passes by with Waluigi waving and Wario whacking him on the head. Then a chorus of burps plays, ending the intro.
Fatman and Skinny, now in costume, run through their Fat Cave - a dark, high-tech lab made by Dr. Crygor - and enter the Fatmobile, which Wario made himself.
Skinny: Initiating Invisible Power!
The Fat Mobile, Fatman, and Skinny turn invisible.
Fatman: Activating Mushroom Boost!
Fatman takes out a Mushroom from Mario Kart
Skinny: Activating DOOR!
The garage door opens up. Wario tosses the Mushroom in the engine, and the invisible car with the invisible Bros. go flying off. They reappear at the Mayor's Office.
Skinny: Remind me, why do we have to be invisible again?
Fatman: So no one can see where we live, you idiot!
They enter the mayor's office.
Fatman: Ok, let's see the puzzle pieces.
Mayor: Here you go.
The Mayor hands Fatman the puzzle pieces.
Fatman: If I know Puzzler, and I do, he always points to his next crime with a puzzle.
Fatman puts together the puzzle to reveal... a banana peel.
Mayor: Now why didn't we think of that?
Fatman: You're not me.
Skinny: Let's not forget that his puzzles may or may not explain his real crime.
Mayor: His real crime?
Fatman: That's right, Puzzler is like a Fuzzy. He likes to mess with your mind.
Mayor: But what does a banana peel have to do with this?
Fatman: For you to get me.
Mayor: What?
Skinny: Puzzler has a sympathetic story. Crime won't do anything for him unless he can prove he's not an idiot.
Fatman: And the best way to do that... defeat me and Skinny.
Skinny: The Puzzler always thinks he can do anything. He calls the police cars "Slow People".
Fatman: Wait... "Cars"... The New Mario Kart Item Museum!
Mayor: Of course! If Puzzler gets his hand on all those items... he could puzzle the world. I want the entire police staff guarding the Museum! I don't care if today is the grand opening!
Fatman: Don't waste your breath! He's only going to "Puzzle" you. Let me and Skinny handle it!
Fatman and Skinny run off. They drive to the Museum, where a bunch of people are crowded around the entrance. Fatman takes a megaphone out of the glove compartment.
Fatman: Okay people! Grand Opening's not happening today! You can all go home!
The people start complaining.
Fatman: Leave now or I'll activate the Fart Cannon!
Fatman pulls a bazooka out of the trunk and puts it against his butt.
Fatman: I'm warning you all!
The people run off.
Fatman: Good, now to investigate.
The two Bros look around until Skinny finds something.
Skinny: Fatman, look!
Skinny points to a trail of puzzle pieces.
Fatman: Good job, Skinny
Fatman and Skinny follow the trail, Fatman picking up the pieces. When the trail ends he puts the pieces together to create a picture of a "Healthy Choco Bar for Kids".
Skinny: What does it mean?
Fatman: Obviously he's saying "Victory is Sweet". Let's find a way in.
Fatman and Skinny look up to see a barred window.
Skinny: Is that the way we do it?
Fatman: Yep.
Skinny: Let's get the grappling hook.
Fatman pulls out a grappling hook and throws it through the bars.
Fatman: Skinny, you go first. I'll support you.
Skinny: Got it!
Skinny climbs up the rope and gets onto the ledge, Fatman following.
Skinny: What do you see, Skinny?
Skinny looks in the window to see Puzzler holding a Bob-omb up to the Owner of the Museum. Puzzler is also holding a sack.
Skinny: Puzzler has gone whack! We'll need to stop him!
Fatman and Skinny climb down.
Fatman: All right, I think this calls for the heavy duty supplies.
Fatman reaches into his costume and pulls out a Mario hat, which he puts on his head.
Fatman: Why, you ask? Because Mario is hard-headed! WAHA! Anyway, get the Butt Blaster!
Skinny runs back to the Fat Mobile and gets out The Butt Blaster, a jetpack that Penny made before she went crazy... long story. He puts it on Fatman's Back.
Fatman: Launching in... 3... 2... 1... go!
Fatman flies through the window, breaking it. Puzzler and the Museum Owner turn around, shocked.
Fatman: Freeze!... Wait, that's Mr. Ice's catchphrase... Stop! In the name of Food!
Puzzler: AHHH!
Puzzler runs out the door, and slips on a conveniently placed Banana Peel. Fatman ties him up.
Fatman: I have you now!
Puzzler: PLEASE! Don't! You don't understand! I'm not evil!
Fatman: Do you expect me to believe that?!
Some news people come in and take a picture of Fatman,
Fatman: What the?
The Museum Owner runs to Fatman.
Puzzler: I even told you, Fatman. I wasn't going to do anything bad!
Museum Owner: It's true!
Fatman: But me and Skinny saw Puzzler holding a Bob-omb right in front of you!
Puzzler: Bob-omb?!... Oh... Mr. Museum Owner, could you please show Fatman why he's wrong? I'm a bit tied up at the moment.
The Museum Owner leaves and comes back with the Bob-omb. It's filled with Healthy Choco Bars for Kids.
Puzzler: Didn't you see the Puzzle? Healthy meant I'm good, the chocolate was to explain my sweetness, and for kids was for all the little tykes who would come today! The Bob-omb was the bowl because it's one of the most famous items in Mario Kart!
Fatman: What about the sack?
The Museum Owner opens the sack, which is filled with coins
Puzzler: It was a donation!
Museum Owner: I'm sorry, Fatman, but it's true.
Fatman: ... What about the exploding cake?
Puzzler: That was to make a grand entrance! You know I overemphasize.
Museum Owner: It's true.
Fatman tries thinking of a flaw in Puzzler's strategy... but for once he has failed.
Fatman: ... Dang... I've been puzzled.
Puzzler is shocked.
Puzzler: I don't believe it... I've puzzled Plit's best detective... YES! I did something in my life! You hear that, Father?! I'm not a stupid clown! I'm the smartest boy you've ever had!... Now let me go!
Fatman reluctantly unties Puzzler.
Puzzler: Thank you... And by the way…
Puzzler throws some puzzle pieces on the ground. Fatman puts them together to make a court room.
Puzzler: That's right!
Puzzler gives Fatman a summons.
Puzzler: I'm suing you for a million coins! How dare you attack a loyal officer?... It's just a shame you have to reveal your identity in court. By the way, here's some stuff to help you.
Puzzler hands Fatman a box.
Puzzler: See ya! The next time we meet it will be before the judge!
Puzzler runs off.

The scene cuts to Wario's place. Wario, Waluigi, and Jimmy T. are watching TV.
TV: And now, folks, it is said that the Peach and Daisy may finally work together in this issue of Bowser's new army... This just in! Kevin Lown, also known as "The Puzzler", has served Fatman a million coin lawsuit for assault and false arrest, plus an extra suit for breaking a window.
Waluigi: The first two I understand, but breaking a window is a crime nowadays?
Wario: This world's pathetic, I know.
TV: The most controversial part of this matter is that Fatman must show who he really is in the courtroom. Which recently got repaired after it was destroyed by Bowser and a group of villains.
Wario: ... Turn it off!
Jimmy T. turns off the TV.
Waluigi: Jimmy, you find anything?
Jimmy T: I looked through all law books new and old, dog. It's almost as impossible as finding a Boss Bass in Desert Land.
Waluigi: A million coins... *sigh*... Gone.
Wario: Haven't you been paying attention to anything, you idiot? If I reveal my identity in court then not only will my business be destroyed by all the stupid villains in this city, but I'll be treated as a villain myself and probably thrown in jail.
Waluigi: It's just a lawsuit.
Wario: This isn't Earth. Our laws are different, remember? You're watching too much of that Law & Order DVD I bought you for SONmas (Plit's Version of Christmas).
Jimmy T: Well dog, I just hope something will work.
Jimmy T leaves. Waluigi picks up the box Puzzler gave Wario.
Waluigi: What's this?
Wario: Some kind of essentials kit I think, for me to survive in jail... I wonder who I'll have as my cellmate. I wonder if it will be a guy obsessed with deodorant.
Waluigi opens the box and puzzle pieces fall out.
Wario: Now what?  A taunt in puzzle form?
Waluigi puts the puzzle pieces together, forming 3 anti-stars and two gold stars like you would see in Mario 64. The words "Not counting this one" are at the bottom.
Waluigi: Wario, you know what this means?
Wario: No, and right now I don't care.
Waluigi: Three black stars... two gold stars. He's given you three puzzles not counting this one!
Wario: What's your point, loser?
Waluigi: This means Puzzler has two more puzzles up his sleeve.
Wario: ... That's it! We need to figure out what the puzzle is going to be and beat Puzzler at his own game!
The scene cuts to Fatman and Skinny in the Fat Cave. Dr. Crygor is looking at the backside of the puzzle, rearranging it.
Crygor: Here we are: two more images, a picture of the work clock at Mona Pizza, and... a Mario hat.
Skinny: What does it mean?
Fatman: ... What time is on the Mona Pizza clock?
Crygor: ... It's... 11:47.
Fatman:  And the hat... Hatture Avenue!
Skinny: 1147 Hatture Avenue! Of course!
Fatman: Let's go!
Crygor: Good luck, you two!
Fatman: We don't need it!
Fatman and Skinny hop into the Fat Mobile, turn invisible, and speed off.

Meanwhile in a forgotten sanctum in the pipes of Diamond City, we see the Shy Guy Gang playing WarioWare Mega PARTY games. A pink Shy Guy is eating some steak.
Shy Guy Gang Leader: Hey Doll! Stop eating all the good food! Save some for us!
Pink Shy Guy: I'm starving though!
Shy Guy Gang Leader: We all are.
Green Shy Guy: You know, if you’d bought food instead of wasting all our coins on a Wii and these games, we could actually eat at least once a day.
Shy Guy Gang Leader: Shut up! This game proves my dominance.
Red Shy Guy: YEAH!
Shy Guy Gang Leader: Aw.
Puzzler appears from a pipe.
Puzzler: It worked! The whole city thinks I'm still an officer! Fatman has probably figured out my last two puzzles. So let's get the trap set up!
Red Shy Guy: Do we have to? I just won!
Shy Guy Gang Leader: Do you want to finally defeat Fatman? Or win a stupid multiplayer game?
Red Shy Guy: ... Oh yeah. Let's do it!
Puzzler and the Shy Guy gang exit through some pipes.
Meanwhile, Fatman and Skinny drive up to 1147 Hatture Avenue, which is a giant ballroom.
Fatman: Ah, "The Big Bob-omb's Ballroom". Don't you remember our high school prom there?
Skinny: You mean when I got my first and only kiss?
Fatman: Yep... Then you noticed you accidentally kissed the Big Bob-omb instead of your date, then he threw you into the snack bar... Did you have to land face-first into the punch bowl? Why not the bean dip?
Skinny: Did you have to leave with not only your date, but mine as well?
Fatman: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Skinny: Yes you do-... Forget it. What's Puzzler's plan? Capture the wealthy people there?
Fatman: Probably, there are some big names in there I bet. Probably royalty like Peach, Daisy, and corporate big shots like Mean Emcee and Captain Syrup.
Usher: Names?
Fatman: Fatman and Skinny.
Usher: ... Fatman can go... the stupid-looking ninja can't.
Skinny: What?!
Fatman: Shut up, loser! Park the car and hack the security cameras to keep an eye on the place.
Skinny: Fine.
Skinny gets out of the Fat Mobile and drives into the parking lot. He does some computer stuff and watches the ballroom via security camera.
Meanwhile, Fatman enters the Ballroom. Everyone is sort of shocked to see Fatman there. They look at him as if he was a criminal, which he sort of is. One human girl at the bar looks at Fatman. Fatman catches her eye and walks over. The Big Bob-omb comes over to Fatman.
Big Bob-omb: Hello Mr. Fatman, it's been a while since you came over here. Not since the Shake King robbed the place for more things to add to his throne room.
Fatman: Move out of my way!
Fatman pushes the Big Bob-omb aside and walks over to the bar.
Fatman: Get me a glass of bacon... and beer! ... And don't be stingy on the bacon!
Bartender: Yes sir.
Girl: Say, you looking for somebody?

This girl is actually an animatronic robot controlled by the Pink Shy Guy, who is watching from overhead.
Fatman: Always am.
Girl: You're a detective, aren't you? Why don't you help me? I'm in a bit of a pickle. This weird guy asked me a riddle, and I can’t figure out what it means.
Fatman: What is it?
Girl: How many people need to tango to make sure the world is a perfect place?
Fatman: ... Two of course. For the tango makes everyone feel right.
Girl: ... Shall we dance?
Bartender: Your Beer Bacon, sir.
Fatman: Thank you.
Fatman has it all in one gulp.
Fatman: Hmm, strange; tastes like a combination of a Tasty Tonic and a Poison Mushroom put in a grease trap... Get me another!
Bartender: Certainly.
Fatman: What's your name?
Girl: Uh... Pinky... like the ghost.
Fatman: I may be married... but, I think my wife won't care.
Skinny is watching this conversation.
Skinny: Fatman, what are you doing?!
Fatman: Let's dance!
The two leave the bar and go to the dance floor to tango.
Skinny: Oh, for DAD's sake!
Meanwhile, Puzzler comes out of a pipe on the roof of ballroom. He looks down at the Fat Mobile menacingly.
Pinky: You dance very well, Fatman.
Fatman: Thank you...
Fatman's vision starts blurring up.
Fatman: Uh...
Fatman falls to the ground.
Skinny: Oh man!
Puzzler drops an anvil on Skinny's Head. Skinny gets knocked out.
Puzzler: It's amazing how cartoons can really help you in these kinds of situations.
The usher, the bartender, Puzzler, and Pinky huddle around the Fat Mobile. Puzzler notices the other people from the ballroom, and pretends to be good.
Puzzler: I need to get this man to a hospital!
Puzzler gets inside the Fat Mobile, but unfortunately can't start it. He turns into his whiny self.
Puzzler: NO! This isn't fair! I had this plan perfect! It's not fair!
Puzzler picks up Skinny and runs into an alley where the Shy Guy gang have a pipe ready. The Puzzler, the usher, the bartender, Pinky, and every Shy Guy Gang member except for the leader enters the pipe.
Meanwhile, Fatman exits the building drunk and lurches over to the Fat Mobile, and gets in. An ambulance comes over.
Fatman: Pewfect time for an *HIC* ambuwance to bwock my path! *HIC*
Fatman honks the horn.
Fatman: Out of my *HIC* way!
Some people take Fatman out of the car.
Hospital Staff Member (a robot controlled by the Shy Guy Gang Leader): Take him to jail! He was attempting to drive under the influence!
Hospital Staff Member: Make that aggravated driving under the influence!
The people drag Fatman off.
Fatman: I need to find *HIC* Skinny!
Meanwhile in the Forgotten Sanctum under Diamond City, Puzzler and the Shy Guy Gang pull in Skinny on a stretcher.
Puzzler: Put him on my "Special Table".
The Shy Guy Gang put Skinny on a giant table, securing him in place with giant bolts.
Puzzler: You know the drill!
Puzzler puts on a doctor's uniform.
Puzzler: Nurse Shy Guy, hand me the knife!
Pink Shy Guy: Here's the knife.
The Pink Shy Guy hands Puzzler the knife.
Puzzler: Finally, after so long. I will defeat you and Fatman! ... The best way I know how.
Puzzler takes a giant spike and aims it at Skinny's head, then slowly moves it down.
Fatman is seen in the Fat Cave laying on a bed. Dr. Crygor is looking over the machines.
Dr. Crygor: I really wished you stayed out of trouble with the police. It took Mona in a trench coat and part of your cash to get you free.
Fatman: My money?!
Fatman sits up.
Dr. Crygor: Just joking. But it did take Mona in a trench coat to get you.
Mona is seen dragging Fatman through the pipes of Diamond City. She has to wear a trench coat to make sure she isn't spotted.

*End Flashback*
Crygor: I just wish we could contact your step-brother.

Meanwhile at Puzzler's base…
Puzzler is seen with a realistic Skinny mask.
Puzzler: Perfect, absolutely perfect. Not even Fatman himself could figure out it was him. I'm glad I took that "Facial Mask" class in school.
Red Shy Guy: But who can we use it on?
Green Shy Guy: As the technical member of the team, I have created an animatronic Skinny, all it needs is one of us to ride in the head.
Puzzler: We'll do this the old-fashioned way.
Red Shy Guy: Not it!
Puzzler: Not it!
Blue Shy Guy: Not it!
Pink Shy Guy: Not i- Aw man.
Puzzler: Take the mask, and follow Green.
Pink Shy Guy nods and follows Green out of the room.
Puzzler: As for you…
Puzzler slaps Skinny. He wakes up.
Skinny: Huh?
Puzzler: It's not fair! I wanted to torture you!  Why did you have to wake up?
Skinny: Hey... you're whining! ... You really are your evil self!
Puzzler stops whining, noticing his mistake.
Puzzler: DANG! I had it all planned!
Skinny: All right Puzzler. Why do you have me?
Puzzler: For my master plan that's already underway... But while you're awake…
Puzzler hands Skinny an anonymous cell phone.
Puzzler: The Shy Guy Gang created this cell-phone with no caller ID. Go call Fatman!
Skinny: Why should I?
Puzzler pushes the spike above Skinny even closer.
Skinny: ... All right, I'll call him.
Skinny dials Fatman's number. Fatman's phone rings and Fatman picks it up.
Fatman: Now what?
Puzzler swipes the phone from Skinny.
Puzzler: Well, even though I had a few minor setbacks, I can still finish my master plan!
Fatman: Puzzler?
Puzzler: YEP! I'm new and improved! You can't beat me, Fatman! I have your friend Skinny here. And I have two puzzles for you... sadly you can't see them. So I'll say them.
What explosive can be worn to defend you from harm?
Skinny: ... A shell!
Puzzler: Not bad... What comes before a hard knock life?
Skinny: ... Drat! I can't figure it out!
Puzzler: Good.
Fatman: ... Tomorrow... like in "Little Orphan Daisy".
Puzzler: You figure out those puzzles, then you'll find Skinny.
Puzzler hangs up.
Puzzler: As for you...
Puzzler opens the spike to reveal a Thwimp. It knocks Skinny out.
Fatman: Shell... Tomorrow... My old Koopa Shell factory on Tomorrow Hill!
Fatman gets in the Fat Mobile, turns invisible, and drives off.
Meanwhile, the animatronic Skinny walks out.
Robo Skinny: How do I look?
Puzzler: ... You look just like Skinny. Time to lose some Fat...Man.
The scene cuts to The Fat Mobile driving up to a Koopa shell-making factory.
Fatman: Dang, I didn't even know this place still worked.
Puzzler and Robo Skinny pop out of a pipe at the top of the factory.
Puzzler: You know what to do.
Robo Skinny walks down the stairs as Fatman enters the factory.
Puzzler: Now fall!
Robo Skinny lies down at the bottom of the stairs while Puzzler leaves through the warp pipe. Fatman finds Robo-Skinny.
Fatman: There you are, loser!
Fatman pulls Robo-Skinny to his feet.
Fatman: Now where's Puzzler?
Robo-Skinny points to a railing. Fatman looks over to see the core of the factory, it's a bunch of green stuff being mixed together, cut up, and burned into Koopa shells.
Fatman: What's Puzzler want this place?
Robo-Skinny pulls a Bob-omb out of a hidden compartment.
Robo-Skinny: Stand still, Fatman! And I won't blow your head off!
Fatman: What the?
 Robo-Skinny: Actually... I'll just finish you off!
Robo-Skinny throws the Bob-omb. Fatman turns around, catches it, and throws it at Robo- Skinny's feet. Part of the floor blows up, as do Robo-Skinny's legs.
Robo-Skinny: I'm getting out of here!
Pink Shy Guy opens the mask and runs out of the Robo-Skinny just as the body falls down the hole the Bob-omb made.
Pink Shy Guy: *Phew*
Fatman grabs the Pink Shy Guy.
Pink Shy Guy: Uh oh... Jail time for me, I guess?
Fatman: ... Nah.
Pink Shy Guy: Wow... Thank you!
Fatman: No, you see. I haven't been able to really prove my point with criminals and slime-balls like you. You all think "Oh well, I got caught, I'll go to jail, then break out". No, I'm going to avenge my parents for what villains have done to them! I'll start my world-wide message... How about something like... "If you don't comply with Fatman's law, you'll end up like this Pink Shy Guy!"
Fatman throws the Pink Shy Guy into the core of the factory. Many screams are heard, until they slowly die away.
Fatman: Rest in pieces, you loser!
The scene cuts to the Mayor's office, where they're looking over the recording of Puzzler's message to Fatman.
Fatman: Wait... Do you hear that?
Mr. Mayor: What?
Fatman: I kept hearing "GEH GEH GEH!" in the recording. That's the sound a pipe makes when you enter it. They're somewhere in the pipelines of Diamond City!
Fatman runs off and starts going down every pipe he can. This leads to him ending up in some rather strange locations. Finally Fatman pops out of one that's close to the Ballroom.
Fatman: Note to self, the pipe in Ashley's Bathroom leads here... This city's confusing.
Fatman looks around the parking lot, finding a pipe in the alleyway.
Fatman: Let's see where you go.
Puzzler is walking around his place, when Fatman jumps in through the pipe.
Puzzler: ... No! Not fair! Where's the other Skinny?! He should've had you turned into a shell by now!
Fatman: Dead, now you're going to feel his pain!
Puzzler runs away and the Shy Guys activate some sort of shield. Fatman examines it.
Fatman: ... Star power... We can't break through.
Fatman sees Skinny and slaps him awake.
Skinny: OW! Quit doing that!
Fatman: Let's get you free, loser!
Fatman unbolts Skinny.
Skinny: Look! Puzzler left puzzles pieces.
Skinny points to some puzzle pieces on the floor. Fatman puts them together to reveal Diamond City Bank.
Fatman: He's going to rob the bank! ... He's not going to touch my money!
Skinny: And to think this all started with Bully's exploding cake.
Fatman stops, thinks, then goes to a pay-phone.
The scene cuts to the police of Diamond City guarding the bank. Meanwhile, Puzzler and the remaining members of the Shy Guy Gang are digging their way through the underground of the Farmers Market. The scene cuts to Bully's tent, which features a giant portrait of a Bully.
Peach: Oh, I must say, the portrait is magnificent. It's even greater than that statue.
Bully: Thank you... I don't even remember making that giant, diamond-covered Bully.
Puzzler and the Shy Guy Gang stop digging.
Green Shy Guy: Okay, we should be right under them.
Puzzler: Excellent, activate the Baseball Guns.
The Shy Guy Leader takes out a remote and presses the red button.
Blue Shy Guy: I still can't believe we managed to steal this from Mario Stadium
Meanwhile in Bully's tent, some strange machines pop out of the ground, and start shooting baseballs everyone. Puzzler takes the shovel and digs his way through the floor.
Puzzler: Stop the guns!
The guns stop firing.
Puzzler: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
Bully: What in DAD's name is that?
Bill: I ain't knowing either, Cousin Bully.
Puzzler: I want you to surrender the entire tent to me, or I will fire again!

Most of the people are shocked, still believing Puzzler to be a good guy.
Bully: No way!
Lerky: We ain't giving in to you!
Puzzler: Suit yourself. FIRE!
The guns keep firing, soon knocking everyone but the Puzzler out.
Puzzler: It's always a good idea to wear a battle-ready helmet under your top hat.
Puzzler takes off his top hat and bows. He's wearing a hard hat under his top hat.
Puzzler: Stop the guns and come on up!
The Shy Guy Gang come up and the guns stop firing.
Puzzler: Okay, you guys know the plan?
Shy Guy Gang Leader: We got it all right. Take the paper but not the frame, cram it into the cylinder container, then escape through the hole.
Puzzler: All right, Let's do it!
Suddenly the diamond-encrusted Bully explodes. Fatman and Skinny were hiding inside it.
Fatman: Gotcha, loser!
Skinny: You didn't think we'd fall for the old "Set the good guys up for one crime while we're doing the real crime" trap, did you?
Puzzler: But... WAH! NO NO NO! It's not fair! Hours of planning down the toilet! Marking the day of Farmer's Market, setting you up for the court notice. Getting the Shy Guy Gang to help me!... It's not fair! I worked hard to perfect this pla-! OW!
That "OW!" was caused by Fatman throwing a baseball into Puzzler's gut.
Puzzler: Oh, you think you have me, don't you, Fatman? Just wait! You forgot one thing!... Activate the guns!
Skinny: Thorn Whip of Skinniness!
Skinny lashes a whip made of thorns at the remote for the baseball guns, snagging it out of the Shy Guy Gang Leader's hands. Skinny now has it.
Fatman: Let's play ball!
Skinny presses the button, launching baseballs all around. Soon the Shy Guy Gang gets entirely knocked out; only Puzzler, Fatman and Skinny are still standing.
Skinny: HA! What do you think of that, Puzzle- AH!
A baseball hits Skinny's shin.
Skinny: OW! Wal- I mean WAAAH MY LEG!
Fatman: (This must be why Mario usually works alone.)
Puzzler: Well it's been nice seeing you, Fatman, but I have a pipe to catch.
Puzzler runs out of the tent into the farmers market.
Fatman: This calls for...
Fatman takes some garlic out of his armpits.
A messed up remix of the Starman song plays as Fatman eats the garlic and charges off after Puzzler. The baseballs now just bounce off Fatman, however the effects are only temporary before he turns back into normal Fatman. He sees Puzzler go down a pipe.
Puzzler: I may not have the painting, but no way am I going to jail!
Fatman: Hold it right there!
Fatman follows. He sees the pipe is bigger than it appears. Puzzler's holding a Bob-omb.
Puzzler: Say Bye Bye, and Boom Boom!
Fatman: Why would I say a mini-boss from Super Mario Bros 3?
Puzzler throws the Bob-omb, and it explodes. Fatman escapes the pipe just in time. He looks down the pipe: a large piece of it is gone, making the pipe unusable without someone falling down into the dark abyss. He can hear Puzzler's insane laughter in the distance.
Fatman: (That loser may have escaped me this time, but I'll get him next time!)
Fatman leaves to see the police finally arriving. They carry the Shy Guy Gang into police cars.
Fatman: Puzzler escaped, but I feel we haven't seen the last of that idiot.
Officer Ickingnos: Thanks for at least helping us capture the Shy Guy Gang.
Fatman: Hey, no sweat.
Bully: How can I ever thank you for saving my greatest work of art?
Fatman looks around, and writes something down on a piece of paper.
Fatman: Leave the money at this location.
Bully: All right.
Fatman: (I'll have Kat and Ana pick it up, since they're ninjas and all that.)
The scene cuts to Wario, Jimmy T, and Waluigi wearing a cast. The three are drinking coffee in Wario's office.
Jimmy T: Hey Dog, how did that court case go with Puzzler anyway?
Wario: I won. Puzzler never showed up. Diamond City still doesn't know I'm Fatman.
Waluigi: Yeah, but Puzzler got away!
Wario: Yeah, but hey, look on the bright side, Bully paid me 10,000 coins.
Wario holds up a sack.
Wario: And I won my court case with a 200% refund.
Wario holds up a bigger sack.
Wario: Plus, we managed to finally bag the Shy Guy Gang, we've been looking for them.
Waluigi: Oh yeah, we're even richer now! Yeah!
Wario punches Waluigi in the shoulder.
Wario: Who said anything about we?
Wario tosses the two sacks to Waluigi.
Wario: If you want to start getting an actual cut from all this, make yourself useful and put them in the safe.
Waluigi gets up holding the sacks. He soon trips over his cast and falls right on his belly. Wario laughs at him.
Waluigi: You know, people say "Crime Doesn't Pay". But when you work with Wario, heroism doesn't either.

The End

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