LEG TWO, Part 3
>>Team Queen<<
Wendy: A DEAD
END?!
Clawdia: Is there a… secret panel, sweetie?
Wendy: Oh yeah, now I remember!
Wendy begins to press everything in sight.
>>Team Cruel<<
Gloomtail: Hello.
The Dryest Bones: Yeah?
Hooktail: Do you happen to know of this annoying song?
Cameraman: *sigh*
The Cameraman hands his camera to TDB.
TDB: You mean “Chasing the Axem Rangers”? Sure!
…
Hooktail: Really? Great!
TDB: Yeah, I was just about to visit anything and everything related to the Wind Crystal. Come, follow me!
Gloomtail: Talk about déjà vu…
>>Team Steam-2nd
at Route Marker #3<<
Screech!
Iggy: Heh, this clue is easy! Taxi!
Screech!
Iggy: To “Chasing the Axem Rangers”!
Roy: At Maximum Speed, or I’ll clobber ya!
VaROOM!
>>Teams Cheat
and Scheme-at 81st and 57th Para-Biddybud<<
Waluigi: Ow oof
eek WAH!
Larry: Too easy!
Wario: Keep-a goin’, Bro! He’s catching up-a to you!
Waluigi: NOT KETCHUP!
Larry: A jump here, a jump there-
Boink! Boink!
Larry: -and…
Boink!
Larry: Done!
Waluigi: Ow ow ow owowow-oof! Done…
Ludwig: *rip* To the Chat Room!
Wario: Taxi-a!
Screech!
Wario: Only-a one?!
Larry: Well, this is sure to be awkward!
Varoom!
>>Teams Talk,
Cute, Kong, Mean, Bean, and Fool-5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th at Whomp
Stop<<
Screech! Screech!
Screech!... Screech! Screech!
Yoshi: Ooh, Yoshi see Whomp Stop!
Diddy: *rip* This member must be good with jumps.
Susan: Me!
Yoshi: Me!
Diddy: Me!
Bowser: ME!
Kolorado: Me, sports!
L33T: M3!
>>Teams Mario
and What-11th and 12th at Whomp Stop<<
Screech!
Luigi: This member must-a be good with jumps!
Daisy: Oh no…
Mario: I’m-a Mario!
A few seconds later…
Diddy: HOW’D HE DO THAT?!
Bowyer: Performed the whole Whomp Stop in a matter of seconds he did, nyah!
DK: Nokay.
Bowser: CHEATER!
Luigi: *rip* To-a the Chat Room!
Driver: On it!
Varoom!
…
Daisy: I guess I’ll do the Whomp Stop.
The King: What?
>>Team Queen<<
Wendy: NOTHING!
Clawdia: What about this lever?
Wendy: Oh, that?
Wendy pulls on it, causing a door to, slowly, swing open.
Wendy: Too… heavy…
Clawdia: Here, let me help, sweetie!
>>Team Cruel<<
TDB: Here we
are!
Hooktail: Thanks!
Team Cruel steps onto the mat.
Axem Black: ‘Sup.
Lemmy: Team Cruel… you’re the second team to arrive!
***TEAM CRUEL - SECOND PLACE – 10:37 AM***
Gloomtail: The Magic Lamp?
Lemmy: Yep!
Gloomtail: Typical.
>>Team Steam<<
Screeeeeeeeech!
Iggy: We’re here!
Roy: Finally!
Team Steam dashes onto the mat.
Axem Black: ‘Sup.
Lemmy: Team Steam… you’re team number three.
***TEAM STEAM - THIRD PLACE - 10:47 AM***
Iggy: Woo!
Roy: Eh.
>>Teams Scheme
and Cheat-3rd and 4th at Route Marker #3<<
Screech!
Larry: Looks like we’re going to… *rip*… Ludwig?
Ludwig: Seeing that I’ve recently had to do research my future opponents for the DynaStar, said destination is “Chasing the Axem Rangers”.
Wario: Driver?
Driver: You’re lucky that I hate my family…
Waluigi: NOT FAMILIES!
Varoom!
>>Team Mario-5th
at Route Marker #3<<
Screech!
Luigi: Hm… Next is-a…
…
Driver: “Chasing the Axem Rangers”, Mr. Mario’s Brother.
Mario: I like-a cheese!
Driver: Yessir, Mr. Mario!
>>Team Talk-at
51st Para-Biddybud<<
Susan: I’m coming,
Larry, my love!
Boink! Boink! Boink!
Morton: …and that’s why I, Morton Koopa II, not you, Susan B. Koopa I, should go to perform, and indulge yourself in this Whomp Stop. Wait, what’re you doing?!
Susan: The Whomp Stop!
Morton: *sigh*
>>Team Cute-at
57th Para-Biddybud<<
Yoshi: Yoshi
like this! It fun!
Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink!
Birdo: Yay, Yoshi!
>>Team Kong-at
62nd Para-Biddybud<<
Diddy: Man, I’m
so good at this!
Boi-boi-boi-boi-boi-boi-boink!
DK: Cool!
>>Team Mean-at
12th Para-Biddybud<<
Wart: Ribbit,
twelfth?!
Bowser: I’M TOO HEAVY TO BOUNCE FROM ONE TO THE OTHER!
Wart: Well, instead of stomping on them individually, ribbit, try stampeding them!
Bowser: GOOD IDEA!
>>Team Bean-at
34th Para-Biddybud<<
Kolorado: *huff*
Bowyer?
Bowyer: He I am.
Kolorado: This is… *cough* too tiring, sport.
Bowyer: Persistent you must be, or doomed we are, nyah!
Kolorado: You’re… right! Age will not catch up with me!
Boink! Boink! Boi-Boi-Boink!
Bowyer: Some hope we might have, nyah!
>>Team Fool-at 47th Para-Biddybud<<
L33T: 74K3 7H15, N00B2!
Boink! Kick! 7R0LL!
Xananab: We’re goners, fanana!
>>Team What-at
52nd Para-Biddybud<<
Daisy: Hey, Dad!
The King: What?
Daisy: We might actually stand a chance!
Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink!
>>Team Queen-Last
at Route Marker #2<<
Wendy: LAST?!
Clawdia: There there, sweetie, I know my nerdy children well enough. Taxi!
Screech!
Clawdia: Be a dear, and take my daughter and I to Bailerie Castle.
Driver: Got it!
Varoom!
>>Teams Scheme
and Cheat<<
Screech!
Larry: Move move move!
Wario: Outta my way!
Shove!
Ludwig: How invigorating!
Ka-Fireball!
Wario: WAH!
Larry: C’mon!
Ludwig: Coming, sibling!
Larry steps onto the mat, and Ludwig quickly follows.
Axem Black: ‘Sup.
Lemmy: Brothers, older and younger… you’re team number four.
***TEAM SCHEME - FOURTH PLACE – 11:12 AM***
Ludwig: Well, at least victory has been achieved.
Larry: Yeah, and we’ll rule the next leg!
Wario (in the distance): Wait for-a us!
Larry: Great, them.
Ludwig: How delightful.
Axem Black: ‘Sup.
Waluigi: AWKWARD MEETINGS ARE SCARY!
Lemmy: Team Cheat… you are the fifth team to arrive.
***TEAM CHEAT - FIFTH PLACE – 11:14 AM***
Wario: Gr… Lousy Koopas, you!
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Lemmy: *sigh*
>>Team Mario<<
Screech!
Luigi: Y’know, I-a have a really good feeling about-a this leg!
Mario: Owowowowowowow!
Luigi: I said-a good!
Mario: Wahoo!
Team Mario steps onto the mat.
Axem Black: Stupid Marios…
Lemmy: *sigh* Marios… you’re team number six.
***TEAM MARIO - SIXTH PLACE – 11:36 AM***
Luigi: Sixth…?! Wahoo!
Mario: I’m-a the Superstar!
>>Team Talk-at
92nd Para-Biddybud<<
Boink! Boink!
Boink!
Susan: One more…
Boink!
Susan: Yay! I did it!
Morton: …and that’s why I’d rather be frozen solid than be flooded by a terrifying, atrocious, and life-scarring tsunami!
Susan: *rip* To the Chat Room!
Morton: Taxi!
Screech!
Susan: To Lemmy’s Chat Room, please!
Varoom!
>>Teams Cute and
Kong-at 96th Para-Biddybud<<
Boi-Boi-Boink!
Boink!
Yoshi and Diddy: Done!
Birdo: Great!
DK: Cool!
Diddy: *rip* To the Chat Room!
DK: Okay!
Screech!
Birdo: To the Chat Room!
Varoom!
>>Team What-at
91st Para-Biddybud<<
Daisy: Jump!
Jump!
Boink! Boink!
Daisy: Jump! Jump! Jump!
Boink! Boink! Boink!
Daisy: Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
Boink! Boink! Boink! Boink!
Daisy: Woo!
The King: What?
Daisy: *rip* Taxi!
Screech!
Daisy: To Lemmy’s Chat Room!
Varoom!
>>Team Mean-at
79th Para-Biddybud<<
Bowser: ROOOOOOAR!
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!
Wart: Good work, ribbit, Bro!
>>Team Bean-at
74th Para-Biddybud<<
Kolorado: I say,
sport! I believe I’m performing quite a good show!
Bowyer: Agree I do, for catching up to Bowser you are, nyah!
>>Team Fool-at
73rd Para-Biddybud<<
L33T: H3Y, B1DDYBUD5,
1’M P0WN1NG U, N00B2!
TR0L0L0L0L0L0L!
Xananab: *sigh* Great, fanana…
>>Team Queen-Last
at Whomp Stop<<
Screech!
Clawdia: Hm… This member must be good with jumps…
Wendy: Me!
Before Clawdia can respond, Wendy begins jumping from one bug to the next with ease.
>>Teams Talk,
Cute, and Kong-6th, 7th, and 8th at Route Marker #3<<
Screech! Screech!
Susan: *rip* Oh, look, “Chasing the Axem Rangers”!
DK: Cool!
Morton, Birdo, and Diddy: Taxi!
Screech!
Yoshi: Yoshi no like using two busses with Jerky Faces in a row!
Birdo: I know, honey, I know…
Varoom!
>>Team What-9th
at Route Marker #3<<
Screech!
Daisy: *rip* A… song…?
The King: If 2+2=Fish, can’t we just use tutus to make fish?
…
The King: But, if 2+2=5… I’M CONFUSED!
Daisy: *sigh* Looks like I’m just going to have to wait for another taxi, seeing that nobody’s here…
>>Team Mean- at
99th Para-Biddybud<<
Bowser: AND NOW…!
THUD!
Wart: Ribbit, Bowser?
Lemmy: It appears he fainted.
Bowser: What… happened…?
Wart: You fainted from, ribbit, exhaustion.
Bowser: KINGS DON’T FAINT!
Lemmy: Yet, you do.
Bowser: SHUT UP!
Bowser, frustrated, goes back to the beginning, and starts over.
>>Teams Bean and
Fool-at 98th Para-Biddybud<<
Boink!
…
Boink!
Kolorado: All right, sports, where to?
Xananab: We must go to... the Chat Chat bo Bat Room.
Bowyer: Take a taxi shall we?
Xananab: No, how how bo bow about… this!
Vroooooooo!
Bowyer: A spacecraft it is!
L33T: U R3P41R3D 17?!
Xananab: Nah, I just recently received my funds from Planet Plantaen, fana!
L33T: C00L!
Vroooooooom!
>>Team Queen-at
74th Para-Biddybud<<
Boink! Boink!
Clawdia: Great work, honey!
Wendy: Victory, here we come!
Boink! Boink!
>>Teams Talk,
Cute, and Kong<<
Screech!
Yoshi: Yay, teams at pitstop!
DK: Cool!
Susan: It’s time to race!
The three teams begin to dash towards the pitstop, jostling anyone who comes in their way.
Susan: Oof!
Birdo: Ow!
Diddy: EEK!
The three teams tumble onto the mat.
Axem Black: ‘Sup.
Lemmy: Uh… Does anyone know the order in which they touched the mat?
Ludwig: *sigh* Kongs… you are the seventh team to arrive.
***TEAM KONG - SEVENTH PLACE – 12:02 PM***
DK: Cool!
Diddy: Great!
Ludwig: Team Cute… you’re team number eight.
***TEAM CUTE - EIGHTH PLACE – 12:02.5 PM***
Yoshi: Wow!
Birdo: Yay!
Ludwig: And, of course, Team Talk… you’re team number nine.
***TEAM TALK - NINTH PLACE - 12:03 PM***
Morton: Huh, what gives, what’s rhe meaning of this, what in the world, of all the bad things to hap-
Ludwig: Lemmy?
Lemmy: Yeah?
Ludwig: Logic dictates the host, i.e, you, must respond to any and all questions.
Lemmy: Stupid rules…
>>Teams What,
Bean, and Fool-10th and 11th at Route Marker #3<<
In the spacecraft…
Kolorado: So,
where to, sports?
Xananab: “Chasing the Axem Rangers”, fanana!
Bowyer: Correct he is, nyah!
Vroooooooooom!
Outside the spacecraft…
Daisy: Hey, a banana!
The King: What?
Daisy: Taxi!
Screech!
Wart: Follow that banana, ribbit!
Varoom!
>>Team Mean-at
54th Para-Biddybud<<
Bowser: OUTTA
MY WAY!
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!
Wart: We might just win this, ribbit!
>>Team Queen-at
84th Para-Biddybud<<
Boink! Boink!
Clawdia: Good work, sweetie!
>>Teams Bean and
Fool<<
Kolorado: We’re
here, sports!
Ka-Perfect Landing!
L33T: L37’5 G0, N00B!
Xananab: Coming, fana!
Bwyer: Go faster we must!
Kolorado: Right, old bean!
Lemmy: Not this again…
Both teams arrive at relatively the same time.
Axem Black: ‘Sup.
Lemmy: Uh… Team Bean… I’m just gonna go out on a limb and say you’re team number ten.
***TEAM BEAN - TENTH PLACE - 12:12 PM***
Bowyer: In last we still aren’t!
Kolorado: That calls for a celebration, sport!
L33T: 4H3M?!
Lemmy: Oh yeah, and you’re in eleventh.
***TEAM FOOL - ELEVENTH PLACE - 12:13 PM***
Xananab: Great… fanana…
L33T: UR 4 N00B!
Lemmy: Yeah, I’m aware of that.
>>Teams Mean and
Queen-at 98th Para-Biddybud<<
Boink! CRUSH!
Bowser and Wendy: DONE!
Wart: To, ribbit, the Chat Room!
Clawdia: Taxi!
Screech!
Bowser: WOO!
>>Team What<<
Screech!
Daisy: Here we are!
The King: I’m a little teapot, short and stout… uh…
Daisy: Come on, Dad!
>>Teams Mean and
Queen-12th and Last at Route Marker #3<<
Screech!
Clawdia: *rip* To… “Chasing the Axem Rangers”!
Wendy: Thank DAD for nerds like Iggy.
Bowser: DRIVER?!
Driver: Y-y-yes, Sire.
Varoom!
>>Team What<<
Daisy: Uh… Dad?
The King: Muh boy, *holds up a roll of toilet paper*, this piece is what all true warriors strive for!
Daisy: *sigh*
>>Teams Mean and
Queen<<
Screech!
Wendy: We made it!
Clawdia: Yes!
Bowser: OUTTA MY WAY!
Wart: Yay for, ribbit, victory!
Bowser rushes onto the platform, and Wart, exasperated, follows.
Axem Black: Oh, it’s you…
Bowser: ’Sup.
Lemmy: Dad, Uncle… you’re team number twelve.
***TEAM MEAN - TWELFTH PLACE - 12:43 PM***
Bowser: ROAR!
Wart: Calm yourself, ribbit. We’re still in the race.
Bowser: We… are?
Wart: Yes, ribbit!
Bowser: WOO!
Wendy: All right, time to race!
Clawdia: Great!
Wendy: Well, after I adjust my bow, of course!
A few minutes later…
Wendy: All right, let’s go!
Clawdia: Look.
Lemmy: Team What… you’re the thirteenth team to arrive!
***TEAM WHAT - THIRTEENTH PLACE - 12:47 PM***
Daisy: We did it!
The King: What?
Clawdia: Well, sweetie, let’s go.
Team Queen walks toward the mat, while Lemmy plays a depressing tune on the violin.
Axem Black: ‘Sup.
Clawdia: That… was lovely, dear.
Lemmy: Thanks. Team Queen… you’re the last team to arrive, and, ergo, eliminated from this AWESOME RACE!
***TEAM QUEEN - ELIMINATED***
Clawdia: Hm…
Wendy: This *sniff* isn’t… FAIR! WAAAAAAAAAH!
Waluigi: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Mario: I’m-a Mario!
…
Lemmy: Yeah, anyways, what, team are you two rooting for, now?
Clawdia: My husband, even if I dislike my brother-in-law.
Wart: Ribbit, what?
Wendy: I’m rooting for my pets! Hope you get well soon, Playful!
Playful (who’s being pushed around by Metal Dr. Mario while in a full body cast): MEOW!
Lemmy: All right, with that all said and done, I’m Lemmy, and-
Metal Dr. Mario: Wait!
Lemmy: What now?!
MDM: Who’ll replace my patient?!
Lemmy: Well, how about…
Meanwhile…
We see a group of minions watching the Race from outside a TV store in Lemmy’s Links.
MDM: Who’ll replace my patient?!
Lemmy: Well, how about…
Wiggler: Me! Me!
Glum Reaper: He can’t hear you, you know.
Angry Sun: Stop bein’ such an annoyance, Glum!
Reporter: This just in, a Koopa Shell has recently been used to give Toad a victory in Mario Kart over a Shy Guy, causing him to stumble down a cliff. Due to the platform’s steepness, his whereabouts are currently unknown.
Glum Reaper: *sigh* Well, break’s over.
The Glum Reaper floats away.
Lakitu: Man, I thought he’d never leave!
Petey Piranha: Agreed!
Wiggler: Hey, where’d you come from?
Petey: I was here the whole time!
Angry Sun: Riiiiiiight!
Petey: What, it’s true!
Wiggler: Yeah, sure!
Lakitu: Hey, you should apply for the Race!
Petey: You… you think so?
Lakitu: Yeah! I mean, we’re just a bunch of minions, but you…
Wiggler: They could make bobbleheads out of you!
Petey: That’s… nice?
Angry Sun: So, whaddaya say?
Wiggler, Lakitu, and Angry Sun: Pe-tey, Pe-tey, Pe-tey!
Petey: All right, fine!
3 Minions: WOO!
Lakitu: Go get ‘em!
Wiggler: You can do it!
Petey: Thanks!
Petey runs off towards Lemmy’s CDs.
Angry Sun: *sniff* This reminds me of those romantic comedies. I… I think I’m gonna cry!
Back to the Race…
…
…
Bowser: I HATE THIS SILENCE!
Petey: *huff* Am I here in time?
Lemmy: It depends, did you come for the Race?
Petey: Yeah, I came for that!
Lemmy: All right! For the next leg, you’ll be working with Bagels here.
Petey: Sounds good to me!
The two shake hand and leaf.
Lemmy: Well, with
that problem resolved, I’m Lemmy, telling you to stay tuned for
an epic Leg 3 of my AWESOME RACE!
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1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
11 |
12 |
13 |
| Dream: Playful & Bagels |
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| Cruel: Gloomtail & Hooktail |
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| Steam: Roy & Iggy |
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| Scheme: Ludwig & Larry |
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| Cheat: Wario & Waluigi |
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| Mario: Mario & Luigi |
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| Kong: DK and Diddy |
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| Cute: Yoshi & Birdo |
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| Talk: Morton & Susan |
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| Bean: Kolorado & Bowyer |
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| Fool: Xananab & L33t Br0 |
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| Mean: Bowser & Wart |
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| What: The King & Daisy |
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| Queen: Clawdia & Wendy |
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| Cream: Peach & Toad |
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To Be Continued...
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in Lemmy's Polls for who should survive the next elimination!
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