Chapter 3: Larry Is Found!
Iggy is still asleep from the last update. Q. Ghost nudges the Koopa.
Q. Ghost: Come on Iggy, wake up!
Iggy: Alright, fine…
Iggy stands up and shakes his head to wake himself up.
Q. Ghost: Let’s do this!
Iggy: LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIINS!!
Q. Ghost and E. Gadd: …
E. Gadd: Just go…
Iggy: Fine.
The duo heads into the Mansion and go through the double doors again and head to the Boneyard, where the plant is bigger. Iggy waters it, making it bloom into a flower.
Q. Ghost: Why do you keep watering that?
Iggy: I dunno… Maybe something will happen if I keep watering it.
Q. Ghost: I doubt it.
The two go back to the Area Two hallway and head north, seeing a door covered in thorns. The thorns vanish and Iggy unlocks the door and enters a Courtyard.
Distant Voice: I…m…h…e…ave…I…
Iggy: What was that?
The two see a well in the middle of the Courtyard.
Distant Voice: He…Ig…I’m…Ple…
Iggy: Let’s go check it out!
Q. Ghost: It might be a trap…
Iggy: It’s in a well, therefore there can’t be a trap.
Q. Ghost: What sort of logic is that?!
Iggy is already halfway down the well.
Q. Ghost: Ugh…
Q. Ghost floats down after him. At the bottom of the well is a hallway, which the two go down.
Iggy: What is this?
Iggy reaches a hole in the wall and looks in. The hole looks into a room with King Boo in it…as well as a moving portrait of Larry!
Larry: Iggy! Help me! Heeeelp!!!
Iggy: …!
Iggy tries to grab Larry, alas his arms are about ten feet too short. Iggy gives up.
Iggy: We’ll have to try and find another way.
Q. Ghost: Are you serious!? Why can’t you just use your crazy powers to get in there?!
Iggy: I don’t know what you mean.
Q. Ghost: Ugh…Forget it…
The two head back up the ladder.
Iggy: I must avenge my brother, no matter what!
A Purple Bomber appears behind Iggy.
Purple Bomber: BLOOGADGIGADA!
Iggy, without looking, punches the ghost in the face, causing it to vanish.
Iggy: Onward, my ghostly companion!
Q. Ghost: Just so you know, this next ghost is…very odd.
Iggy: Yeah, because none of the other ghosts were weird…
The two enter the next room, which is full of mirrors of many shapes and sizes. In the middle of the room is a handsomely handsome man admiring himself in a hand mirror.
Gorgeoas: Oh. Hello, ugly people.
Iggy: You’re right, he is weird…
Q. Ghost: Told you…
Iggy: alright then! Time to die!
Iggy lunges at Gorgeoas, who turns to the Koopa.
Gorgeoas: You wouldn’t hit such a pretty face, would you?
Iggy: *stops in his tracks* So…handsome! Must…not…hit!
Q. Ghost: Oh, for the love of…
Q. Ghost shoots an energy beam at Gorgeoas, who deflects the attack with his mirror right back at Q. Ghost and knocks him to the ground.
Iggy: You’re useless!
Q. Ghost: At least I can attack this guy!
Gorgeoas: Ahahaha! You cannot win! My face is too beautiful to hit.
Iggy: That’s it!
Gorgeoas: Hmm?
Iggy: I won’t hit your face…but the rest of you is alright to hit!
Gorgeoas: Ah crud…
Iggy punches Gorgeoas hard in the gut.
Gorgeoas: GUBA!
Q. Ghost fires several small beams at the gorgeous ghost, knocking him into a large mirror.
Gorgeoas: My mirror!
Iggy takes another large mirror and whacks Gorgeoas on the back with it.
Gorgeoas: That’s it! I’ll show you! Super Fist of Gorgeousness: Blinding Flash!
Gorgeoas smiles and his teeth unleash a beautiful flash of light that reflects off of all the mirrors and fills the room with a blinding light.
Iggy: My eyes! The glasses, they do nothing!
Q. Ghost: I can’t see!
Gorgeoas takes this time to punch Iggy in the face and kick Q. Ghost into the wall. He even has time to fix his hair before the lights die down.
Iggy: That was brutal…yet beautiful…
Gorgeoas: Ready for an encore?
Q. Ghost: Hey, pretty boy!
Gorgeoas: Hmm?
He turns to see Q. Ghost has a large energy beam built up, point blank in Gorgeoas’ face.
Gorgeoas: Oh dear…
Q. Ghost unleashes the beam, destroying the ghost, making the lights turn on. A treasure chest appears and Iggy collects many coins, bills, and a sapphire.
Iggy: Ooh! A sapphire! I’m gonna be filthy stinkin’ rich after this!
Q. Ghost: We must keep going, there are many ghosts to fight.
Iggy: Alright, Mr. Bossy…
Q. Ghost: …
The two go out the door and up a staircase, they then go into another room, the Tea Room. Inside is a British ghost with a ghostly tail. He has a dashing suit, a top hat, a monocle, a large mustache, and a cane. He is sopping tea with his pinky up.
Iggy: We get it! He’s British!
Sorry.
Sir Wellsington: I do say! Who are you two chaps?
Iggy: Iggy and Q. Ghost, and we’re here to destroy you!
Sir Wellsington: I dare say, you shall not! *sips tea* I will show you what for!
Sir Wellsington whacks Iggy on the top of his head with his cane.
Iggy: YEEOW! That stings! *winces* Ow…
Q. Ghost: Ahaha!
Sir Wellsington hits Q. Ghost with his cane.
Q. Ghost: Agh! That really DOES hurt! Ow…
Sir Wellsington: Now then, off with you, or I shall hit you again!
Iggy: Stupid old man!
Iggy picks up a tea cup and splashes the tea in Sir Wellsington’s face.
Sir Wellsington: BAH! That is rather hat, old bean!
Iggy: *whacking Sir Wellsington with his own cane, hitting him with each word*Stop. Being. British. You. Stupid. Ghost!
Sir Wellsington: I can’t help it! May I have my cane back?
Iggy: Yes…
Iggy hands the cane out and Sir Wellsington reaches for it. Iggy then whacks the British ghost’s hand.
Iggy: Not!
Sir Wellsington: Oh dear! How uncouth! Super Fist of British: Tea Time!
All of the tea cups start rattling and fly into the duo, shattering on impact.
Both: GUBA!
They collapse.
Sir Wellsington: I didn’t think it was that strong…
Iggy and Q. Ghost: FOOLED YOU!
The two punch Sir Wellsington into a wall.
Sir Wellsington: How violent! How dare you!
Iggy: Enough!
Iggy breathes green fire at Sir Wellsington, destroying him and causing the lights to turn on.
Iggy: Finally. He was getting annoying…
The two leave the room and proceed into the hallway.
Iggy: Just how many ghosts are there anyway?
Q. Ghost: I don’t really know. I’ve only been here for a few days, and have only met a couple boss ghosts…
Iggy: Lame.
Q. Ghost: … Let’s just go…
The two enter Nana’s Room and see and an old man.
Grandpa: Hello, young whippersnappers!
Iggy: Wait, why are you in Nana’s Room?
Grandpa: She’s taking a nap! Shhh!
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …
Grandpa: In fact…It’s time for my nap! *falls asleep*
Iggy: I…don’t think I want to fight this guy…
Q. Ghost: Me neither…
The two exit the room quietly.
Iggy: Alright, let’s find a real ghost to defeat!
Q. Ghost: Let’s.
The two go to the southern end of the hall and go into a door and enter a room with three mafia ghosts playing cards.
Tony Tombstone: Hey, whose this mook?
Jimmy: I dunnos boss…Wait! That’s the guy killing the other ghosts!
Tony Tombstone: Did you tell him where to find us, Larry the Snitch?
Tony Tombstone looks at a ghost with an unusually large mouth.
Larry: It wasn’t me boss, I swears!
Iggy: Stops talking likes…*ahem* like that!
Tony Tombstone: Get them, boys.
Larry and Jimmy take out knives and lunge at Iggy and Q. Ghost, who punch the thugs in the face.
Larry and Jimmy: Ows!
Iggy picks up Larry and slams him into the table, while Jimmy and Q. Ghost strangle each other.
Tony Tombstone: Heys! Watch the table! It cost me a lot of moneys!
Iggy: Shut up!
Iggy whacks Tony Tombstone with Larry.
Both: Guba!!
Q. Ghost: Hey Jimmy!
Jimmy: Whats?
Q. Ghost: EYE BEAM!
Q. Ghost shoots eye beams from…well…his eyes, hitting Jimmy in the forehead.
Jimmy: Gah! That burns!
Jimmy’s head catches on fire.
Jimmy: YEEOW! Put it out! Someone!
Larry takes out a crowbar and starts hitting Jimmy’s head with it, accidentally destroying him.
Larry: Oops…
Tony Tombstone: I knews you weres a traitor!
Tony Tombstone shoots Larry with a laser gun, destroying the snitch.
Larry: *as he fades* It was an accident! Noooo…
Tony Tombstone: Alrights, times to…
Iggy shoots a fireball at the laser gun, making it explode in Tony Tombstone’s hand.
Tony Tombstone: Ouch! Why you little…!
Tony Tombstone grabs at Iggy, who dodges and kicks the mafia boss in the gut.
Tony Tombstone: Guba!
Q. Ghost shoots a large energy beam at Tony Tombstone, defeating the boss ghost and turning the lights on.
Iggy: Even three boss ghosts at once can’t take us down!
Q. Ghost: Let’s go upstairs, this area is dangerous.
Iggy: *as they exit the room* Dangerous? Pfft, these ghosts are jokes!
Q. Ghost: Not whatever is in there.
Q. Ghost points to a door at the end of the hall. The door is pitch black and made of some sort of metal.
???: Come to meeee…
Iggy: What the…?
Q. Ghost: I’m not sure what’s in there, but I think it’s best to avoid it. The other boss ghosts are afraid of that room, they call it “The Dark Room”.
Iggy: I’m not afraid!
Q. Ghost: Don’t go in there!
Iggy: I’m going in!
Q. Ghost: Fine. I’m not going in there.
Iggy: Fine. Wimp!
Iggy opens the door and immediately, the hallway becomes much colder. Inside the room is nothing but pitch black.
Q. Ghost: Come on! Just close the door, before it’s too late!
Iggy: I’m not afraid!
Iggy goes in and closes the door behind him. He tries turning on his flashlight, but the darkness seems to just swallow up any light coming from the device.
Iggy: Odd. Must be broken…
???: Iiiiiggyyyyy…
Iggy turned every which way, trying to find whoever spoke. There was nothing.
???: Iggy…Iggy…Iggy…Iggy…
Iggy turns around and suddenly Larry is standing there, somehow visible through the inky darkness.
Larry: Why, Iggy? Why did you let them take me?
With each word, Larry became skinnier and skinnier, until his skin hugged his bones tightly.
Larry: Why did you let them kill me?
With a horrific groan, Larry dissolves into ashes.
Iggy: Wh-What is going on?
???: Son…why…!?
Iggy sees Bowser standing before him, except he is all bone, like in New Super Mario Bros.
Bowser: Why did you let Cackletta kill me?! Why?!
Iggy: I…I didn’t…
Bowser: I’m gonna get you…
Bowser slowly shambles towards Iggy, who tries backing away, but find his feet caught in some sort of goop.
Bowser: I’m gonna get you, like Cackletta got me…
Iggy: What’s going on here?! Get away from me!!
Bowser: I’ll get you…
When Bowser gets close enough, Iggy punches the skeleton, and it’s reduced to dust.
Iggy: Q. Ghost! Q. Ghost! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!
???: He can’t hear you…
Iggy: Who are you?! What are you? Come out and fight!!
???: Iggy…help me…
Iggy turns and sees Ludwig sinking into some unseen quicksand or goop.
Ludwig: Please…save me…
Iggy tries to get to his eldest sibling, but whatever was holding his feet continued to hold strong as Ludwig was neck deep in the unknown substance.
Ludwig: You’ve failed me…
Iggy: Ludwig! No!
Ludwig sinks under, muffled screams filling the air.
Iggy: Let me out of here!!!
Iggy breathes fire all around him, but nothing happens.
???: Stop that!
An unseen picks Iggy up by the head and frees him of the goop around his feet, then throws the Royal Koopa onto the hard floor.
???: I seeeee you…Iggy…I seeeeeeeee you…
Iggy: Reveal yourself!
Before Iggy, a giant, bloodshot eye opens and looks at the frightened turtle.
???: Ahahahaha…You’re going to die here, Iggy.
A second eye opens, also looking at Iggy.
???: There’s no escape!
The rest of…whatever it is appears. The eyes are revealed to belong to a giant head that looks like Iggy, but the flesh is red. As some sort of body, is a wall of concrete, with several people stuck inside. This includes Culex, Dodo, Larry, Ludwig, Bowser, and many more.
???: You’re going to join them, Iggy…For all eternity!
Iggy: No…
Suddenly, a white rectangle appears. It’s the doorway, and floating in it is Q. Ghost.
Q. Ghost: Die, whatever you are!
Q. Ghost shoots several energy beams at the beast.
???: Stop that! Stop it NOW!
Iggy takes this chance to run to the doorway, with Q. Ghost going backwards, shooting beams at the creature.
???: You can’t escape!
Several tentacles appear and dart at the duo, they both quickly close the door and run into the hallway.
???: ROOOOOAAAAARRRR!!!
Several dents appear in the door. Soon, there is silence.
Q. Ghost: Are you okay, Iggy? What happened in there?
Iggy: Nothing. I’m fine. Let’s just keep going.
Q. Ghost: Alright…
The two find another staircase and go up and enter the Safari Room. Inside the room is a ghost in hunting clothes, and two Blue Twirlers.
Hunter Joe: Alright you two, time to-
Iggy: No!
Iggy breathes fire at the trio, destroying them all. The lights turn on.
Iggy: That felt good. Alright, let’s go.
Q. Ghost: I don’t do enough!
Iggy: You can take care of the next guy, how about that?
Q. Ghost: Alright!
The two go into a hallway and walk to the end and find themselves on a large balcony. In front of them is a circle of the rest of the Boos.
Boo: Well, if it isn’t Iggy! We won’t let you beat us as easily as other Boos! Everyone! Into formation!
Other Boos: Right!
The Boos fly into each other and form Boolossus!
Boolossus: Gyahahahaha!!!
Iggy: Well…uh…he’s all yours!
Q. Ghost: No fair!
Suddenly, the three are warped to the Balcony floating in nothingness, with the same background with Chauncey and Bogmire.
Boolossus: Kyehehehehe! Die, weakling!
Boolossus body slams Q. Ghost.
Q. Ghost: GUBA!!
Iggy: Woo! Go Q. Ghost! *munches on popcorn*
Q. Ghost: I take it back! Please help!
Boolossus: Ahahahha!
Boolossus grabs Q. Ghost’s arm and makes the Speedy Spirit punch himself in the face.
Boolossus: Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself!
Q. Ghost: Okay, I will!
Q. Ghost shoots eye lasers at the giant Boo.
Boolossus: Argh! *lets go*
Q. Ghost: Come on Iggy! I need help!
Iggy: You must find your center!
Q. Ghost: That didn’t make sense the first time you said it!
Iggy: Fine! I’ll help! Super Fist of the Palm Tree Hair: Toy Airplane!
Iggy slams a real airplane into Boolossus. The plane then vanishes.
Boolossus: GUBA! That’s not a toy!
Iggy: It’s my toy, punk!
Iggy kicks Boolossus in the face while Q. Ghost shoots energy beams.
Boolossus: You can’t defeat me!
Boolossus shoots a large energy beam that hit’s the duo, damaging them greatly.
Iggy: Ow…
Q. Ghost: My face…
Boolossus: Just give up, now!
Iggy: Okay…
Boolossus and Q. Ghost: Really?!
Iggy: No!
Iggy punches Boolossus into a unicorn statue, which I totally mentioned was there before…
Boolossus: GAH! SHARP!
Boolossus pops and splits into all of the Boos.
Boo #1: Oh no!
Boo #5: Quick! Run!
Boo #14: Every Boo for himself!
Iggy: Attack!
Iggy and Q. Ghost each grab a Boo and slam them into the ground, defeating the two ghosts.
Boo #8: Go back into formation!
The thirteen Boos fuse and form a slightly smaller Boolossus.
Boolossus: Curse you! You’ve found my weakness!
Boolossus lunges at the duo, only for Iggy to punch Boolossus again, and Q. Ghost to hit the large Boo with energy beams.
Boolossus: Gyah!
Boolossus charges again, only for Iggy to grab his tail.
Boolossus: Gah! Uncle! Uncle!
Iggy swings Boolossus into one of the unicorn horns, separating the Boos again.
Boos: Dang it!
The Boos scatter and Iggy breathes fire, destroying five. The Boos eight remaining Boos combine to make an even smaller Boolossus, about as half as big as he was originally.
Boolossus: I’m getting weaker and weaker! I can’t win!
Iggy: Very true!
Boolossus tries to run, but Iggy jumps in the air and dropkicks Boolossus into the floor and ground pounds the oversized Boo.
Boolossus: Ughh…
Iggy slams Boolossus into the unicorn statue’s horn and Boolossus splits up again.
Iggy: IMA FIRIN MAH LAZA! BLAAAAAHHHH!!!
Iggy firs his laza which kills all but one Boo.
Boo: Agh! No! I can’t form back to Boolossus!
Iggy: Would you like the honors, Q. Ghost?
Q. Ghost: Yes!
Q. Ghost shoots an energy beam at Boo, killing him. Iggy and Q. Ghost are teleported to the Balcony and the lights turn on. A chest appears, Iggy opens it and collects the Blue Key inside. There’s also many coins, bills, and a large Golden Diamond.
Iggy: I’m gonna be a billionaire at this rate!
Q. Ghost: Alright, let’s venture onward!
End of chapter! Why didn’t Iggy just use his powers to get to Larry? Why does King Boo have him in a painting? Why was Boolossus so easy to beat? What was that thing in The Dark Room? Some of these might be answered in the next chapter, but only if you do your homework!
Chapter 4: The Finale!
Iggy: It’s the final chapter already!? Also, why didn’t we teleport!?
Q. Ghost: Does it really matter?
Iggy: I guess not…
The two head to the other Balcony door, when thunder rumbles overhead.
Iggy and Q. Ghost: Uh oh…
Suddenly, the house is struck by lightning, and all the lights go out.
Iggy: D’ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
Iggy’s Game Boy Horror starts to ring and he answers it.
Iggy: Hello?
E. Gadd: Iggy! The electricity went out!
Iggy: Noooo, really?
E. Gadd: … Anyway, you need to find a ghost named Uncle Grimmly, who has the key to the Breaker Room. Alsobewarebecausetheghostscancomebackbye!
Iggy: Wait, what was that last part?
E. Gadd hangs up and a small army of ghosts appear.
Ghosts: DIE!!!
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …*censored*
The ghosts charge at the two who run towards the army and jumps over it.
Ghosts: D’oh!
The duo goes through the Mansion backwards while the ghost army chases them. Eventually, the two enter the room where Iggy found Q. Ghost.
Iggy: Where did that army go?
Q. Ghost: Does it matter?
Iggy: I guess not.
The handle on one of the doors starts rattling.
Iggy: What’s that?
Q. Ghost: I dunno…
The door slowly opens, and Uncle Grimmly floats out of the closet.
Uncle Grimmly: *in a feeble voice* Wooo…
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …
Uncle Grimmly: I’m scary…
Iggy: No. No you are not.
Uncle Grimmly: Oh…
Iggy: I propose we have an RPG Battle!!!
RPG BATTLE START!
Iggy: 150/150
Q. Ghost: 135/135
Vs.
Uncle Grimmly: 200/200
Iggy: How does this guy have more HP
than us!?
Uncle Grimmly: Magic. *snort snort*
Iggy: …
Iggy used Angry Punch on Uncle Grimmly!
40 damage!
Q. Ghost used Energy Beam on Uncle
Grimmly! 25 damage!
Uncle Grimmly used Sulk! Uncle Grimmly
took 5 damage!
Iggy and Q. Ghost: WHA!?
Iggy: 150/150
Q. Ghost: 135/135
Vs.
Uncle Grimmly: 130/200
Iggy used Shine A Laser Pointer In The
Opponent’s Eye! 10 damage on Uncle Grimmly!
Q. Ghost used Ram! 15 damage on Uncle
Grimmly!
Uncle Grimmly tried to scare his opponents!
It doesn’t work…
Iggy: 150/150
Q. Ghost: 135/135
Vs. Uncle Grimmly: 115/200
Iggy: This is just getting sad! Time
to finish this!
Iggy used Grenade! 120 damage on Uncle
Grimmly! Uncle Grimmly fainted!
Iggy and Q. Ghost win! They gain 50
Exp.!
BATTLE OVER!
Uncle Grimmly: Noooo!!!
Uncle Grimmly vanishes and leaves a key behind.
Iggy: That was just sad.
Q. Ghost: Indeed.
Iggy collects the key and the two go back to the entrance room.
Iggy: So, where is the breaker room?
Q. Ghost: Down these stairs.
Q. Ghost opens a door, revealing a staircase. The two go down and enter a hallway. Q. Ghost directs them to the correct room. Inside…
???: Stop!
Iggy: Hmm?
Chef Torte and Apprentice are in the room.
Chef Torte: Haha! Thought you wouldn’t see us again, huh?
Iggy: Yeah…I was hoping for that…
Apprentice: Well, too bad! We’re gonna kick your butts!
Chef Torte: Raus! Raus!
The two chefs charge at the heroes. Iggy kicks Apprentice in the gut, while Q. Ghost punches Chef Torte in the face, knocking the two to the floor.
Chefs: Ow…
Iggy: GET OUTTA HERE!!!
Iggy uppercuts the two Koopas, sending them through the ceiling of each floor, until they go through the roof and into the distance.
Q. Ghost: Who were those guys?
Iggy: Two very persistent foes.
Q. Ghost: I see…Well, flip the switch.
Iggy does so, and all of the previously lit room become lit again.
Iggy: That was easy. Now what?
Q. Ghost: I’m sure the next key is somewhere in the rooms on the other side of the Balcony.
Iggy: Alright! First, I’m gonna water my plant!
The two go the Boneyard and the plant is basically a ball on a stem. Iggy waters it, and the ball opens up revealing a ton of coins and bills, as well as another Golden Diamond!
Iggy: WOOHOO!
Iggy collects everything. The two then return to the Balcony.
Iggy: Alright, let’s do this!
He unlocks the door he was going to unlock before the power outage happened. The two are now in a room with an elevator and three toy ghosts.
Jack-in-the-box: An intruder!
Teddy Bear: We shall destroy you!
Optimus Prime: Autobots, transform and roll out!
Jack: We’re not Autobots!
Teddy: We can’t transform either!
Optimus Prime: Awww…
Iggy: Are you serious? We have to fight toys?!
Jack: Yes.
Iggy: Just checking.
Q. Ghost: …
Teddy and Jack attack while Optimus Prime sulks. Iggy picks up jack and swings him around, hitting Teddy with the box part of Jack. This sends Teddy into Optimus Prime, Iggy then throws Jack into the other two toys.
All Three: GUBA!!
Teddy: Why didn’t you help us, Optimus!?
Optimus Prime: You hurt my feelings.
Teddy and Jack: …
Iggy sets Teddy on fire while Q. Ghost shoots lasers at Jack and Optimus Prime.
Teddy: IT BUUURNS!!!
Jack and Optimus Prime: GUBA!!
Iggy: This is just sad!
Q. Ghost: You might as well surrender!
Teddy: Fool! This is not our true form! We’re split up!
Iggy and Q. Ghost: Uh oh…
Toy Ghosts: FUSION!!
The three toy ghosts glow and merge together to form…the Nostalgia Critic?
Nostalgia Critic: MWAHAHA! Behold my true form!
Iggy: What the Underwhere? Why are you here, Nostalgia Critic?
Nostalgia Critic: I was paid!
Q. Ghost: By who?
Nostalgia Critic: Bill Cosby.
Iggy: Dodo told me about the Angry Video Game Nerd getting paid by Bill Cosby. What’s going on?
Nostalgia Critic: I don’t know.
Iggy: Whatever, you’re just a normal human, we’ll kick your butt!
Nostalgia Critic: an" face="Arial">
Q. Ghost: Guns won’t hurt me!
Iggy: Other solid things have, like being knocked into a wall.
Q. Ghost: I was bluffing! Way to blow it!
Iggy: Ah, forget it!
Iggy punches the Nostalgia Critic in the gut, making him drop his gun, which Iggy burns with his fire breath.
Nostalgia Critic: Curses! Um…take this!
The Nostalgia Critic punches Iggy, who dodges the attack and kicks the Nostalgia Critic hard in the face, knocking him out.
Iggy: That was lame.
Q. Ghost: Indeed.
The two enter the elevator and go to the roof. Nothing is there except for two chimneys and some pillars. No ghosts appear.
Iggy: That’s ominous…
Suddenly, Eggman appears!
Eggman: Wahahaha! You’ve finally arrived!
Iggy: You again?
Q. Ghost: You fought him?
Iggy: Larry and I encountered him before, then Sega took him away.
Eggman: Bad news for you, Sega is busy!
Iggy: I think we can take you down easily.
Eggman: Try saying that to my minions!
Eggman summons two Egg Pawns.
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …
One of the Egg Pawns malfunctions and Iggy shoves over the second one, which can’t get up.
Iggy: This is sad…
Q. Ghost: Yeah…
Eggman: Grrr…
Eggman’s Egg Breaker machine appears from the space between spaces, and the scientist enters the machine.
Eggman: You know what they say, the more the merrier!
Iggy: Oh DAD no…
Eggman: *throws bombs* You know what they say, the more the merrier! You know what they say, the more the merrier!
Q. Ghost: *dodges a bomb* Shut *dodges another bomb* up!
Eggman: You know what they say, the more the merrier!
Iggy jumps in the air and kicks Eggman in the face.
Eggman: Guba!
Q. Ghost shoots several energy blasts at the Egg Breaker, doing heavy damage.
Eggman: My machine!
Iggy rips off one of the spikes from the mace-hand on the Egg Breaker and stabs the machine where the heart would be. The machine starts smoking.
Q. Ghost: Iggy, maybe you should-
Iggy jumps away from the Egg Breaker as it explodes, sending Eggman face-first onto the floor.
Eggman: Ow…
Iggy: This is pathetic.
Iggy notices a key next to Eggman. He picks it up.
Iggy: I wonder where this goes to…
Eggman: No! I can still-
Q. Ghost punches Eggman, shutting him up.
Q. Ghost: Look!
Q. Ghost points to the elevator, there is a keyhole in the back. The two enter the elevator and Iggy puts the key in the keyhole, and the elevator starts descending.
Eggman: Curses…I failed…
???: Hello, Robotnik.
Eggman turns and sees The G-Man.
Eggman: I’ve heard about you, you’ve caused a lot of problems for us!
The G-Man: Yesss, but fortunately for you, thissssss is the lassst time I can kill an enemy to help Larry and hisss group.
The G-Man and Eggman are suddenly on the planet Colonel Silver was teleported to.
The G-Man: Have fun…
The G-Man vanishes as strange crab-like creatures approach Eggman.
Eggman: No! No! Nooooo!!!
Meanwhile, Iggy and Q. Ghost are dropped off in a room full of jars and vases.
Iggy: This is an odd room… *pokes a vase*
Suddenly, a red ghost pops out of one of the jars.
Jarvis: Oi! What are you doin’!?
Iggy: Gyah! What the heck are you?
Jarvis: Jarvis!
Iggy: Yes, but WHAT are you?
Jarvis: I’m…Umm…
There’s an awkward silence. Iggy breaks the silence by punching Jarvis in the face.
Jarvis: GUBA!!
Iggy picks up a jar and breaks it over Jarvis’…“head”.
Jarvis: Don’t break my jars!!
Q. Ghost shoots an eye laser at Jarvis, hurting him.
Jarvis: It burns!!
Iggy: This is sad.
Jarvis: You never gave me a chance to attack!
Some of the jars in the room float at the duo. They sidestep and the jars miss.
Iggy: Still very sad.
Jarvis: Grrr…
Jarvis launches the jar he is in at Iggy. The Royal Koopa simply puts his fist up so Jarvis flies into it. The ghost and his jar crash to the floor.
Iggy: Q. Ghost, if you would.
Q. Ghost: With pleasure!
Q. Ghost launches an energy beam at Jarvis, destroying him. The two enter the next room with is a little girl’s room. Upside down. A little ghost girl is sleeping upside down in her upside down bed.
Sue Pea: Zzz…Zzz…Zzz…
Iggy: A little girl? How pathetic!
Iggy picks up a hammer from the space between spaces and hits Sue Pea with it.
Sue Pea: GUBA!!
Q. Ghost: That’s…harsh.
Iggy: Meh.
Sue Pea: You’re mean!
Iggy: You creep me out. What’s your point?
Sue Pea: DIE!
Sue Pea flies at Q. Ghost, who punches her in the face.
Sue Pea: Owie!
Iggy: Why can’t any of these bosses be challenging!?
Iggy slams Sue Pea into a wall and breathes fire on her.
Sue Pea: Gaaahhh!!!
Q. Ghost finishes off the little girl with an energy beam and the two enter the next room. They are now in an art studio with paintings of enemy ghosts. Vincent Van Gore is there as well.
Vincent Van Gore: Bonjour!
Iggy: No time for talking, we must kill you!
Vincent Van Gore: Hoh hoh hoh! You zink zat, but you are wrong! Go, my minons! Hoh hoh hoh!
One of his paintings starts giving off smoke and three Golden Ghosts appear. Iggy kills them easily with fire breath.
Vincent Van Gore: …
The next portrait smokes and two Purple Punchers appear. Q. Ghost kills them with eye lasers.
Vincent Van Gore: Zis is not going as I hoped…ENOUGH! Combine my minions!!
The other paintings make smoke and the ghosts come out and combine into a large white ghost whose right hand was shaped like a hammer’s head.
Thumper: GWAAAH!
Vincent Van Gore: Destroy zese fools! Hoh hoh hoh!
Thumper whacks Iggy into Q. Ghost, causing both to fly into a wall.
Both: Ow…
Thumper: Me smash!!
Thumper smashes Iggy into another wall while Q. Ghost shoots energy beams that seem to just annoy Thumper.
Thumper: Stop! Me no like you!
Thumper smashed Q. Ghost with his hammer.
Q. Ghost: Pain…
Iggy gets up and sets Thumper on fire, the large ghost simply spins around and the flames vanish.
Thumper: Flames hurt! Now me hurt you!
Thumper picked up Iggy and slammed him into the floor repeatedly.
Iggy: *in a strangely calm voice* Ow. Ow. Ow.
Q. Ghost charges a large energy beam and fires at Thumper, making the ghost let go of Iggy.
Thumper: Ow! You mean!
Iggy breathes green fire at Thumper, hurting him more.
Thumper: *roars* STOP!!
Q. Ghost shoots balls of energy at Thumper.
Thumper: Gaaah!!
Iggy grabs Thumper’s right arm and makes him smash his own head with the hammer hand.
Iggy: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
Thumper: Owie! Stop hitting me!
Iggy kicks Thumper into a wall and Q. Ghost charges a large energy beam and fires, destroying Thumper.
Vincent Van Gore: VAT HAVE YOU DONE!?
Iggy: We killed your ghost monstrosity.
Vincent Van Gore: Oh.
Iggy punches Vincent Van Gore in the face.
Vincent Van Gore: Le ow!
Vincent Van Gore feebly punches at Iggy, who dodges easily.
Iggy: Oh great, another weakling.
Vincent Van Gore: I vill not lose!
Q. Ghost shoots eye lasers at Vincent Van Gore, destroying him.
Q. Ghost: Look like you just did.
Iggy: Stop trying to act cool, we have to go onward!
Q. Ghost: …
Iggy and Q. Ghost enter the next room, the Secret Altar. King Boo turns around.
King Boo: Well, well, well. If it isn’t Iggy!
Iggy: King Boo! Give me back my brother!
King Boo: Okay…
Iggy: Really?
King Boo: No! Gyahahahaha!
Iggy: Say, how are you even here right now? Larry and I beat you in the last story!
King Boo: I didn’t die, I just teleported away! Now then, shall we get started?!
The three are teleported to the Roof, which is floating in nothingness with the Earthbound background.
King Boo: Time to die!
???: Wait!
Jelly Jiggler appears!
Jelly Jiggler: I’m here to help!
Iggy: Oh joy…
King Boo: No fair! Grrr…Help!
Mr. Luggs appears!
Mr. Luggs: I’m hungry…
King Boo: You can eat after we win!
Jelly Jiggler: Man’s Fist!!!
Jelly Jiggler uses his Man’s Fist technique on Mr. Luggs, sending the fat ghost into a pillar, knocking him out. Jelly Jiggler’s fist explodes, then regenerates.
King Boo: …FINE! I’LL KILL YOU MYSELF!!
King Boo shoots balls of blue flames at the trio, hitting them and causing a lot of damage.
All Three: GUBA!!
Iggy grabs King Boo’s tail and punches the king, whose tail stretches far until it pulls King Boo back and Iggy punches him again. The process repeats until King Boo turns around and shoots blue fire at Iggy.
Iggy: *lets go* Gah!!
Q. Ghost shoots eye lasers at King Boo, who dodges and punches Q. Ghost in the face.
King Boo: Gyahaha!
King Boo repeatedly punches Q. Ghost in the face, and throws the Speedy Spirit into Jelly Jiggler.
Both: Guba!
Iggy grabs King Boo’s tail again and swings him around into the pillars. Iggy then slammed King boo into the ground. Iggy jumped back as Jelly Jiggler body slammed King Boo.
King Boo: Gah!!
Iggy breathes green fire at King Boo, burning him badly.
Iggy: You’re pathetic!
King Boo: Grr…that’s it! Come help me!
A hulking figure drops from the sky and lands behind King Boo.
Iggy: No…It can’t be…
The figure is…Bowletta, except she is now three times her normal size!
Bowletta: Eyahahaha!
Q. Ghost: What is that?
Iggy: Bowletta, we are sworn enemies.
Jelly Jiggler: She’s pretty strong to boot!
Iggy: How are you alive!?
Bowletta: Alive is such a tricky word…Let’s just say I’m here to kill you!
Bowletta’s head pops off to reveal an empty body. King Boo flies inside. Bowletta’s head pops back on.
Bowletta: Eyahaha!
Bowletta breathes fire, hitting the trio.
All Three: Gyaaah!!
Q. Ghost launches some energy balls at Bowletta, which do minor damage.
Q. Ghost: Ah nuts…
Jelly Jiggler: Man’s Fist!
Jelly Jiggler uses Man’s Fist to hit Bowletta in the stomach, doing some pretty good damage. Jelly Jiggler’s fist explodes then regenerates.
Bowletta: Grrr!
Bowletta swats Jelly Jiggler away.
Bowletta: You cannot defeat me!
Bowletta tries to crush Iggy with her fist, but he rolls out of the way. Iggy then shoots several green fireballs that hit Bowletta. The attack seems to just annoy Bowletta.
Bowletta: Nice try!
Bowletta tries crushing Iggy again and Iggy jumps on Bowletta’s fist on runs up her arm. After Iggy reaches Bowletta’s shoulder, he punches her hard in the face. Her head starts coming off, but Bowletta holds in place with one hand and swats Iggy away with the other.
Iggy: We need to knock her head off!
Bowletta: Just go ahead and try!
Jelly Jiggler: Okay!
Jelly Jiggler flies to Bowletta’s head and punches her in the face. Bowletta swats Jelly Jiggler to the floor.
Bowletta: Stupid jelly man!
Q. Ghost, while Jelly Jiggler was attacking, snuck behind Bowletta. He charges up an energy beam and fires it at the back of Bowletta’s head, knocking it off! King Boo flies out.
King Boo: What have you done!?
Bowletta’s head suddenly floats back to her body.
Bowletta: That hurt!
Iggy: It didn’t work!
Mr. Luggs wakes up.
Mr. Luggs: What’d I miss?
Iggy: That’s it! Super Fist of the Palm Tree Hair: Iggy Roulette!
A giant roulette wheel appears in midair which Iggy flies up to. On the wheel are sections with faces. One for each person there except for Iggy. Oddly enough, there are two spaces for Q. Ghost.
King Boo: What is that?!
Q. Ghost: Why am I up there twice?
Iggy: For this attack I’ll spin around until I land on a face, and whoever’s face I land on gets punished!
Iggy starts spinning.
Iggy: Round and round I go! Where I’ll stop, nobody knows!
Iggy lands on Mr. Luggs.
Iggy: This fat guy goes first! His punishment is: Bob-omb Shower!
Bob-ombs start raining from nowhere, blowing up on contact with the roof. Not only does the attack his Mr. Luggs, but it hits everyone else as well!
Everyone but Mr. Luggs and Iggy: That’s not fair!
Mr. Luggs vanishes from the attack. His spot vanishes from the roulette wheel and everyone else’s spaces become bigger to fill in the wheel.
Iggy: Alright! Round and round I gooo!
Iggy lands on Jelly Jiggler.
Iggy: Jelly Jiggler!
Jelly Jiggler: Me?!
Iggy: Your punishment is: Sledge Hammer!
Iggy teleports to Jelly Jiggler and hits him with a large sledge hammer. Jelly Jiggler flies into Q. Ghost, and the two fly into King Boo. The three then fly into Bowletta, doing minimal damage to the giant witch. Iggy then teleports back to the roulette wheel.
Bowletta: Enough of this!
Bowletta breathes several large fireballs at Iggy, an invisible shield stops them.
Iggy: Once this attack has started, nothing short of DAD can stop it!
Iggy starts spinning. He only does so for two or three seconds before he stops.
Iggy: I want King Boo to be punished!
King Boo: Hey! That’s not fair!
Iggy: Your punishment is: Fire!
King Boo is suddenly engulfed in fire for exactly five seconds, the fire then goes out.
King Boo: …Ow…
Iggy starts spinning again.
Iggy: Who will be next? Whooooo?
Iggy lands on Q. Ghost and also points at Bowletta.
Iggy: These two! Your punishment is: Wild Dogs!!
Some wild dogs bite and scratch at Q. Ghost and Bowletta for a minute straight before vanishing.
Q. Ghost and Bowletta: Ow…
Iggy starts spinning again.
Iggy: Round and round…I think I’m gonna puke…
Iggy lands of Jelly Jiggler and Bowletta.
Iggy: These two! Your punishment is: Reckless Driving!
Two racecars suddenly appear and run over Jelly Jiggler and Bowletta. In the case of the latter, the car crashes into Bowletta, doing serious damage.
Both: Guba!!
Iggy starts spinning.
King Boo: Hey wait! My space got bigger!
King Boo’s space now takes up 90% of the wheel while everyone else makes up the rest.
Iggy: Q. Ghost and Bowletta!!
Both: Whaaa!?
Iggy: Your punishment is: Pancakes!
Flaming (literally) hot pancakes fall on Q. Ghost and Bowletta.
Both: Aaaahhh!!!
Iggy starts spinning again. The sections on the wheel are normal again.
Iggy: Alrighty! The next person is…KING BOO! ‘CAUSE I HATE HIM!!
King Boo: Huh!?
Iggy: Your punishment is: Pickle Jar!!!
King Boo is suddenly trapped in a pickle jar. The roulette then vanishes.
Iggy: Ahahaha! I did it! Without King Boo, Bowletta is powerless!
Nothing happens.
Bowletta: Wrong!
Bowletta swats Jelly Jiggler into a pillar, knocking him out.
Iggy: It was worth a shot…
Bowletta: Eyahahaha! I will destroy you!
Bowletta grows even larger and then breathes fire at Iggy and Q. Ghost, who barely manage to dodge. Bowletta then tries punching both of them, just to get her hands stuck in the roof.
Iggy: Go, now!
Iggy and Q. Ghost each go up an arm until they reach opposite sides of Bowletta’s head. They then repeatedly punch her in the face until her head pops off again an starts floating.
Bowletta: Grrr!
Bowletta’s head starts shooting small balls of ice at Iggy and Q. Ghost. They are hit and knocked off of Bowletta.
Q. Ghost: Why are you shooting ice?!
Bowletta: Silence!!
Bowletta’s arms detach from her body and start floating as well.
Iggy: She’s some undead…thing, how can we beat that?!
Q. Ghost: I don’t know, have any ideas?
Iggy: Just one. Open wide!
Q. Ghost: Open wide?
Iggy crawls inside Q. Ghost, who starts glowing.
Bowletta: Oh no…
Q. Ghost: YEAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!
Q. Ghost remains a Speedy Spirit, but instead of being blue, he flashes through every color of the rainbow continuously. His right eye is all black and his left is all white. He is also wearing the Ghastlier Gibus from Team Fortress 2.
???: I am…I. Ghost. I only have five minutes to stay in this form.
Bowletta: Lame.
I. Ghost: Shut up!
I. Ghost grabs one of Bowletta’s arms and hits the other arm with it repeatedly.
Bowletta: Ow! Stop that!
Bowletta detaches her legs and tail from her body, all of those body parts float as well as her torso.
Bowletta: Get them!
The legs and tail fly at I. Ghost who whacks them away with Bowletta’s arm. Bowletta’s torso charges at I. Ghost, who floats above it and shoots eye lasers at it, temporarily stunning it as it whacks away Bowletta’s other arm that was charging at him from behind.
Bowletta: Give me my arm!
Bowletta’s arm starts struggling, I. Ghost manages to hold onto it, but the hand pops off and starts floating.
I. Ghost: Haha!
He whacks the hand away. The legs attack again, but I. Ghost catches one and uses it to knock the other leg away. The leg struggles to break free, but the foot ends up detaches and floating away.
Bowletta: How meddlesome!
The spikes on Bowletta’s shell come off and charge at I. Ghost, who dodges as they imbed themselves into the roof. I. Ghost deflects the last spike back at Bowletta’s head, hitting her between the eyes. Unfortunately, it was the blunt end of the spike.
Bowletta: Nice try!
Bowletta shoots several fireballs at I. Ghost, who ducks.
Jelly Jiggler: *wakes up* Ow…Hey, what did I miss?
He is hit with the fireballs and is knocked unconscious again.
I. Ghost: Darn, I could’ve used his help.
The arm and leg finally escape I. Ghost’s grip as the torso starts floating again.
I. Ghost: Darn it!
I. Ghost shoots eye lasers at all four of the limbs, hitting all but the handless arm, which tries to hit I. Ghost, but he dodges and throws it at the torso, knocking the body parts into a pillar. The floating hand disconnects the fingers that all fly at I. Ghost, who dodges Matrix-style.
I. Ghost: This is getting out of hand.
Bowletta: Never say that again.
I. Ghost: Sorry.
I. Ghost grabs the tail and hits Bowletta’s head with it, knocking it into a chimney.
Bowletta: Darn it!!
Bowletta’s head attaches to the arm with a hand and flies at I. Ghost. She shoots fireballs, which I. Ghost dodges, he then barely manages to avoid the arm. He hits Bowletta’s head with her tail, separating the head from the arm. The spikes dislodge themselves from the roof and fly at I. Ghost, who hits them into the torso, getting them stuck. The torso falls to the floor.
Bowletta: I have more tricks up my sleeve!
Bowletta shoots shadow orbs from her mouth, which I. Ghost hits back at her with her own tail. Only one hits Bowletta’s head, which is knocked back a few feet.
Bowletta: I will destroy you!!
I. Ghost shoots eye lasers at the incoming legs, causing mini explosions that make the legs stop floating. He then shoots a mouth beam that hits the fingers and the fingerless hand, making them fall to the floor as well. I. Ghost then slams the tail hard into a pillar, making it crumble onto the body part, making it unable to float.
I. Ghost: Now what will you do?
Bowletta: Graah!!
Bowletta’s head charges at I. Ghost, who punches Bowletta in the face, making the head unable to float. I. Ghost then traps the head in the pickle jar King Boo is in.
Bowletta: Curses!
King Boo: I can’t believe he beat us!
I. Ghost splits back into Iggy and Q. Ghost. The duo, the pickle jar, and the unconscious Jelly Jiggler are teleported back to the Secret Altar.
Iggy: That wasn’t too bad!
Q. Ghost: That was…an interesting technique…
A chest appears, Iggy opens it and it is full of coins, bills, and jewels. He collects them all.
Iggy: Alright, ready to get out of here Larry?
Larry: Hecks yes!
Iggy: Never say that again.
Larry: Okay.
Iggy picks up Larry’s portrait, the three travel to E. Gadd’s lab, leaving Jelly Jiggler behind. They eventually reach the lab.
E. Gadd: Splendid! Very good indeed! Now then, we can turn those two villains into portraits! Follow me!
E. Gadd leads them to a large machine.
E. Gadd: This is the Ghost Portrificationizer! Just put that pickle jar in that slot, it should work despite the shape differences!
Miraculously it works, and King Boo and Bowletta’s head are put into a washing machine type thing in the machine. They are then put onto a metal plate, which moves on a conveyor belt and is stamped by another metal plate several times.
Both: Ow! Ow! Ow!
The belt then moves them to a machine that electrocutes them.
Both: Aggghhh!!
The tow are then put into a third machine, and come out as a large, golden portrait.
E. Gadd: Presto!
Iggy: Neat! How will we get Larry back, though?
E. Gadd: Put him in reverse, of course!
Iggy does so and the process is reversed, ending with Larry coming out of the slot, painfully I may add.
Larry: Finally, out of that portrait!
E. Gadd: Alright, now…Wait, anybody hear that rumbling?
The lab suddenly shakes and everyone runs outside to see the Mansion has vanished! Going towards the rising sun is an odd, indefinable creature.
???: He may have escaped The Dark Room, but not from me!
The…thing vanishes.
E. Gadd: How odd, it seems…
Larry: What is it, old man?
Iggy: Hey Q. Ghost, what’s wrong with Gadd?
Q. Ghost doesn’t reply. It dawns on the two Koopalings that they are frozen in time!
Larry: What’s going on?!
???: It’ssss tiiiime…
Larry: *suddenly has a well-detailed face* That voice…
The G-Man appears.
The G-Man: It’ssss tiiiime…
Iggy: Time for what?
The G-Man: My Employersss are pleasssed with you and have told me to tell you they are interssssssssted in your ssservicesss!
Larry: Employers?
The G-Man: Yesss, they sent several people to monitor you. Firssst wasss Geno, then Hooky. You killed the firssst one and Hooky was reassssigned to a different job.
Iggy: Who are these Employers?
The G-Man: I am not at liberty to tell you that. Now, I am sssure I am correct by sssaying you accept? If you don’t, well, there will be dire consequencesss…
Larry: What sort of consequences?
The G-Man: Let’s just sssay ssstopping time aren’t my only powersss…
Larry: Alright, fine.
Iggy: I don’t want to! I just want to keep my money!
The G-Man: I took that from you, but I am willing to pay it back to you with each tasssk you complete.
Iggy: Grrr…Fine…
The G-Man: Good…
The three are teleported to a black void.
The G-Man: I will come fetch you when you are needed. For now, goodnight…
Larry and Iggy suddenly fall asleep. Meanwhile, the Hooded Figure is in a dark room, alone.
Hooded Figure: Grrr…
He waves his hand and King Boo and a completely put-together Bowletta appear before him.
Hooded Figure: King Boo, out of my sight!
King Boo vanishes without a word.
Hooded Figure: Now, onto you, Bowletta.
Bowletta: S-Sir, I-
Hooded Figure: SILENCE! My Master is very displeased with you. I shall give you ONE more chance. If you fail, I will personally destroy you myself, understand?!
Bowletta: Y-Yes sir…
Hooded Figure: Good…
Here’s what happened to anyone I find important!
Larry and Iggy: Asleep.
The G-Man: Reported to his Employers.
They were quite pleased.
Hooded Figure: ???
Hooded Figure’s Master: ???
Unknown Creature: ???
Q. Ghost: Was unfrozen along with the
rest of time, and went off to find somewhere spooky to live, wondering
what happened to the Koopalings.
King Boo: Went off to sulk.
Chef Torte and Apprentice: Woke up
in a forest somewhere.
Jelly Jiggler: Woke up in the empty
space the Mansion was and tried to get someone to buy him. Nobody did.
Elvis: Continued being awesome!
The End!
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