Iggy: Why didn’t the last story have a little bit of title after the main title?
I couldn’t think of one.
Iggy: Who is returning?
Shush! That’s a secret! Though, people probably have figured it out already, I just don’t like you.
Iggy: …
Prologue: The Mansion!
Once, not that long time ago, there was a nerd named Iggy.
Iggy: Hey!!
Shush. Anyway, this nerd won a mansion in a contest he never entered. He told Larry to meet him there, as Iggy had nerdish things to do before he left. That’s it really. Were you expecting a long intro!? Anyway, Iggy is walking through some creepy woods and checks a map.
Iggy: According to this…I should be at the mansion soon…
Iggy looks up to see a very large, very creepy mansion. All the lights were off, making each window appear to be a void that wanted to swallow Iggy up.
Iggy: What’s with the slightly descriptive descriptions?
Shut up.
Iggy: …
Iggy approaches the mansion, ignoring a small shack as he passes by it. Iggy notices a gravestone and reads it.
Iggy: “Here lies Deidara: He liked explosions.”. Lame!
Iggy enters the mansion. He didn’t notice The G-Man watching him from the woods. The G-Man’s Employers were pleased by his previous report, so he continues to stalk- I mean, “observe” Larry and Co.
Iggy: Hello, anyone in here? Larry! Where are you!? *turns on a flashlight*
Iggy looks around and sees nobody. All of the lights are off. The house is empty. Well, except for a dancing monkey, but Iggy ignores it. The room he’s in is a large room with marble flooring and a circular emerald carpet.
Iggy: Larry! Where are you?!
Dancing Monkey: Stop ignoring me!
Iggy: Shush!
Iggy goes up some stairs and reaches a door…but it’s locked.
Iggy: Can’t I just break it down?
No.
Iggy: But-
NO!
Iggy: But I-
I SAID NO, MORTAL!
Iggy: Fine…
Iggy goes back down the stairs and sees a weird orange thing.
Iggy: Hi Don Patch.
Don Patch: Hello!
Then, Iggy sees a fuzzy orange thing with a key in it. The orange thing dashes upstairs, dropping the key.
Iggy: That’s…ominous.
Don Patch: Indeed!
Iggy: GO AWAY!
Iggy eats Don Patch, then picks up the key. He goes upstairs and unlocks the previously locked door which is now no longer locked as it is now unlocked even though it was locked before and-
Iggy: SHUT UP!
Right. Sorry. Anyway, Iggy enters the room and enters a giant room with the walls lined with canned food.
Iggy: THIS WHOLE ROOM IS JUST A PANTRY!? Say, this mansion looks bigger on the inside than on the outside…
Twilight Zone music plays. Iggy looks around.
Iggy: Where is that music coming from?
Iggy turns and sees a Gold Ghost holding up a boom box playing the Twilight Zone theme.
Iggy: AAAAHHHHH!!!
Gold Ghost: AAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Iggy: AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Gold Ghost: AAAAHHHH!!!
Dancing Monkey: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Iggy and Gold Ghost: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!
Dancing Monkey: AAAHHHHH!!
Gold Ghost: AAAHHHH- Eyurgh!?
Suddenly, the Gold Ghost is sucked into a vacuum, operated by an old man. The Dancing Monkey turns into a butterfly and flies away.
Old Man: Hello there, sonny! My name is Professor Elvin Gadd! You can call me E. Gadd for short!
Iggy: Why are you in here?
E. Gadd: Catching ghosts! This mansion popped up a few days ago, with ghosts appearing all over the place!
Iggy: A few days ago? I won this place in a contest!
E. Gadd: I’ve been in my lab nearby for years, you can trust me. I am quite mad though!
Iggy: … I guess I have to believe you. Wait! Have you seen another Koopa? One with blue hair?
E. Gadd: Why yes, I did! He passed by earlier and I tried to warn him about the mansion, but he just shoved me in the mud and went in anyway.
Suddenly, three Gold Ghosts appear.
E. Gadd: We should probably go! It’s too dangerous!
Iggy: Aren’t these some of the weakest ghosts? Wait, how would I know that?
E. Gadd: No time for arguing! Let’s head to my lab!
The duo runs from the trio of enemy ghosts. They go into the old shack by the mansion.
E. Gadd: This is my lab! I’ve been studying ghosts here for years!
Iggy: I don’t care about that! What happened to Larry?
E. Gadd: It’s most likely the ghosts kidnapped him. Here, take my newest invention; The Poltergust 3000!
Iggy straps on the vacuum. E. Gadd also hands him a Game Boy.
Iggy: Huh?
E. Gadd: This is the Game Boy Horror. It will allow me to communicate with you and help you through the mansion!
Iggy: Can I play Donkey Kong on this?
E. Gadd: No.
Iggy: Awww! Well, off I go…without any Donkey Kong…
Iggy leaves the lab and enters the mansion.
Chapter 1: A Brand New Partner!
Iggy: Yay! I won’t have to go through the mansion alone!
Iggy proceeded to walk up the stairs and enter the same room again.
Iggy: Alright ghosts! COME AT ME!!
Nothing happens. Iggy looks around the room.
Iggy: Hello?
Opens a can of corn and looks inside.
Iggy: Any ghosts in here?
Suddenly, a booming voice makes itself known.
Voice: WHO DARES OPEN THE SACRED CAN OF CORN!?!?
Iggy: Jelly Jiggler, is th-that y-you?
Voice: NO!!!
Iggy: Crud.
Voice: FOR YOUR CRIME, YOU SHALL BE VISITED BY THREE GHOSTS!!! ER…WAIT, THAT’S NOT RIGHT! Where did I put that script? Ah, here it is! YOU SHALL BE ATTACKED BY GHOSTS!! GET THE NERD!!
Seven Gold Ghosts appear.
Iggy: Crud!
Iggy shines his flashlight in their faces and then sucks them up, the lights then turn on.
Iggy: That was easy. Too easy…Lame!
Iggy goes into the next room and-
Iggy: Why wasn’t that door locked?! Also, why would I know that?
Typing you getting a key and unlocking a door would get redundant.
Iggy: But-
A bowling ball lands on Iggy’s head.
Iggy: Sorry…
Anyway, Iggy the Closet Rom, a room with five closets in it.
Iggy: Huh?! What’s the point of a room like this?
Suddenly, two Purple Punchers appear and one punches Iggy right in his nerdy face.
Iggy: GUBA!
The other Purple Puncher holds Iggy as the first one continuously punches Iggy in the stomach.
Iggy: Ow! Ow! Ow! TIME OUT!
The Purple Punchers freeze in place and Iggy sucks them up and a Garbage Can Ghost appears.
Garbage Can Ghost: Mmm…bananas…
Iggy slips on a banana peel on the ground and his Poltergust 3000 breaks.
Iggy: …Wha…WHAT!? THAT PIECE OF JUNK BROKE!!?!?
Garbage Can Ghost: Sorry…
Iggy punches the Garbage Can Ghost in the face, making him vanish.
Iggy: Huh? I killed it with my bare hands?
Two more Garbage Can Ghosts appear and Iggy breathes fire on them and they die.
Iggy: Well then…this will be fun!
No more ghosts appear and yet the lights are still off. Iggy checks one of the closets and finds gold coins in them which he pockets.
Iggy: I don’t know why there’s gold in this closet, but I don’t think I really care.
He checks another closet and finds a Gold Ghost.
Gold Ghost: BLEAAAARGHH!!!
Iggy: AHH!
Iggy kicks the Orange Ghost and it…“dies”. The lights STILL don’t turn on.
Iggy: What the…?
Iggy checks another closet and a Speedy Spirit comes out.
Speedy Spirit: AAAAHHHHH!!!! DON’T KILL ME!!!
The Speedy Spirit floats about the room, too fast for Iggy to attack him. Eventually, the Speedy Spirit somehow trips and Iggy pins him to the floor with his foot.
Speedy Spirit: DON’T KILL ME!!
Iggy: Why shouldn’t I?
Speedy Spirit: I-I can h-help you!
Iggy: Really?
Speedy Spirit: Yeah! I can help get your brother back!
Iggy: Mmm…Fine. I’ll let you go.
Iggy does so and the Speedy Spirit gets up.
Speedy Spirit: My name is Q. Ghost!
Q. GHOST HAS JOINED THE PARTY!
Iggy: Lame.
Q. Ghost: Shut up. Now scan that mirror!
Q. Ghost points to a mirror that I totally mentioned was there before.
Iggy: Scan?
Q. Ghost: Use your Game Boy Horror.
Iggy: How did you know about that?
Q. Ghost: Magic *snort snort*.
Iggy: *shrugs* Whatever.
Iggy scans the mirror and the two are warped to the entrance of the mansion.
Q. Ghost: Look out!
Q. Ghost pushes Iggy out of the way as a safe falls from nowhere where the Koopa was just standing.
Iggy: Thanks…
Q. Ghost: That was probably one of the bigger ghosts…
Iggy: Bigger ghosts?
Q. Ghost: You’ll see…
Iggy: Hmm…
Iggy rips the door off of the safe, revealing gold bars, which Iggy pockets.
Iggy: Hehehe…
The two go back up the stairs and go left. Suddenly, the Game Boy Horror goes off. Iggy answers it.
E. Gadd: Iggy! How are you doing so far?
Iggy: Your freaking vacuum broke!
E. Gadd: WHAA?!
Iggy: Luckily, I found out I don’t need it. I can just beat up the ghosts.
E. Gadd: Really? *takes notes* Interesting…Wait, how will you capture the Portrait Ghosts?
Iggy: Portrait Ghosts?
E. Gadd: These ghosts are more powerful than the enemies you’ve faced. I once had them in portraits, but they were released by Boos!
Iggy: I’ll destroy them.
E. Gadd: I doubt that you can, although it would be better that way, since them being portraits makes it so they can escape.
E. Gadd cuts the transmission.
Iggy: Alright, let’s go!
The duo go into a hallway. Iggy sees some coins.
Iggy: GASP! Coins!
Q. Ghost: …
Iggy follows the coin trail, picking up each coin, and comes across a door.
Iggy: I guess we go through here…
Q. Ghost: DON’T!
Iggy turns the door knob and the door swings open, slamming Iggy into a wall.
Iggy: Ow…
Q. Ghost: I warned you…
Iggy: Shut up…
Iggy approaches a different door.
Q. Ghost: That room has the first portrait ghost.
Iggy: He’s the first! How hard can he be?
Iggy opens the door and sees a large, muscular Viking ghost with a large black beard in a room full of Viking armor and weapons.
Thore: I AM THORE!
Iggy: ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
Thore: DIE!
Thore summons a ghostly hammer and whacks Iggy into a wall.
Iggy: GUBA!
Q. Ghost: Ah geez…
Q. Ghost shoots energy beams at the thunder god knockoff, but they barely do anything.
Thore: You die, puny ghost!
Thore picks up Q. Ghost and slams him into a wall.
Q. Ghost: Gah!
Iggy gets up, and is angry.
Iggy: You die now!! Super Fist of the Palm Tree Hair: Onion Soup!
Iggy takes out a bowl of onion soup and takes a long sip, then spit’s the soup at Thore’s face.
Thore: GAH! It’s hot!!
Q. Ghost recovers and flies into Thore, making him stumble slightly. While this happens, Iggy jumps in the air and kicks Thore in the face. Thore collapses and Iggy ground pounds his gut.
Thore: GUBA!
Iggy fires a flame while Q. Ghost shoots an energy beam at the Viking.
Thore: My brethren will make you pay!! PAAAY!!
Thore ceases to exist.
Iggy: Haha! Victory! Wait…what’s that smell?
Iggy sniffs around and sees cheese on the floor.
Iggy: Cheese?
Suddenly, a Golden Mouse ghost comes from the cheese and runs away. Iggy kicks it into a wall and kills it, making an emerald appear.
Iggy: Wow!! AN EMERALD!
Iggy happily collects the emerald.
Iggy: Well then…that went better than expected.
The lights turn on as the duo exits the room and enter the next room. Inside is a computer room with a scrawny nerd ghost with glasses and wearing lab coat.
Poinspecter: Must…argue…with…strangers…over…video games!
Iggy: Really? Poinspecter?
Shut up! I thought it was clever…
Poinspecter: Oh, hi! I’m arguing about how World of-
Iggy: Cool story, bro.
Poinspecter: Nyeargh! You insulted me! Go, InuYasha!
Poinspecter throws a InuYasha plushy that bounces off of Iggy harmlessly.
Iggy: …
Q. Ghost: …
Iggy uppercuts Poinspecter, sending the nerd into the ceiling.
Poinspecter: Ow! Why did you do that!? I can’t fight! I’m telling my mom on you!
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …
Poinspecter: Go, my computer!
The computer suddenly starts floating and it’s wires start strangling the duo.
Iggy: Gahhh…
Q. Ghost: Too tight!
The wire loosens a bit.
Q. Ghost: Thanks!
Iggy: Can you loosen up for me, too?
The wires tighten around Iggy’s neck.
Iggy: Gah!
Iggy suddenly remembers he can breath fire and does so, setting the computer on fire and making the wires let go.
Q. Ghost: Attack now!
Captain Obvious and Iggy both punch Poinspecter into the wall, then Q. Ghost shoots an energy beam at Poinspecter, destroying him.
Iggy: Thanks, Captain Obvious!
Captain Obvious: No problem!
He vanishes as the lights turn on. A chest appears and Iggy opens it. Inside are coins and bills, which Iggy happily collects. The duo proceeds to go back in the hall.
???: Waaaaa! Waaaaa!
Iggy: That was…unsettling.
Q. Ghost: Oh no, it’s HIM. I dare not say his name!
Iggy: Voldemort?
Voldemort: What?
Iggy: Go away.
Voldemort: Awww, you guys never let me hang out!
Voldemort goes home.
Q. Ghost: ANYWAY. Inside there is one of the most terrifying Ghosts in this game!
Iggy: Le Gulp…
Q. Ghost: Huh?
Iggy: Le Gulp! It’s my favorite French Soda!
Q. Ghost: Let’s just get this over with.
The two enter…The Nursery! DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!
Iggy: This isn’t so bad.
Iggy spots some gold coins on the floor.
Iggy: Happies!
Iggy collects the coins, and then hears a noise, it turns out to be a ghost baby.
Baby: Waaa…
Q. Ghost: It’s…Chauncey!
Iggy: This baby is who you’re scared of?
Q. Ghost: Yes! Don’t underestimate him!
Chauncey: Will you play with me?
Iggy slams Chauncey into the floor.
Iggy: NO!
Chauncey: Waaaa! Adults are mean!
Iggy: I’m a kid.
Chauncey: BECOME SMALLER!
Iggy, Chauncey, and Q. Ghost glow, and then shrink into the crib. The background is all Battle-In-Earthbound-y. Chauncey is about twice as big as Iggy and Q. Ghost.
Chauncey: *in a creepy-as-Underwhere demonic voice* WAAAAAAA! WAAAAAA! WAAAAA!
Iggy and Q. Ghost: Oh sweet DAD Junior…
Chauncey: YOU DIE NOW!!
Chauncey launches giant rocking horses that hit the heroes.
Both: GUBA!!
Chauncey: I will kill you both!!
Chauncey sends giant rubber balls into the duo, crushing them.
Both: GYUBA!!
Iggy: This…thing is tough!
Q. Ghost: I told you he was powerful!
Iggy: I have some techniques to use! Super Fist of the Palm Tree Hair: Tofu!
A giant block of tofu crushes Chauncey.
Chauncey: Gya! MEANIE!!
Chauncey body slams Iggy.
Iggy: Gya!! You’re fat!
Iggy whacks Chauncey with a crowbar.
Iggy: I feel just like Gordon Freeman!
Iggy continues to hit Chauncey with his crowbar as Q. Ghost watches in amazement.
Q. Ghost: I can help!
Q. Ghost uses his ghostly powers to fire a beam of energy at Chauncey.
Chauncey: WAAAA!
Chauncey fires dark energy beams at Q. Ghost, knocking him to the ground. While the demon baby is distracted, Iggy kicks Chauncey on the back of the head.
Chauncey: Die!!!
Chauncey fires more dark beams, but the duo dodges and Iggy kicks Chauncey into a wall of the crib, tiring the ghost out.
Chauncey: Die…Waaa…
Iggy: Not today!
Iggy shoots flames at Chauncey, destroying the evil baby. The duo teleports to the nursery, at full size as the lights go on. The Game Boy Horror goes off. Iggy answers.
Iggy: Hello?
E. Gadd: Iggy? Are you alright? There was a signal disturbance!
Iggy: This freaky baby ghost teleported us to some odd dimension!
E. Gadd: I see…Tell me more about it at the lab!
Suddenly, a chest appears. Iggy opens it and collects the key inside, and the coins and bills. The duo then magically teleport to the lab.
E. Gadd: Glad you’re back, I-
E. Gadd stops when he sees Q. Ghost.
Q. Ghost: Hi!
E. Gadd: AAAHHH! A GHOOOST! Quick, Iggy, suck it up!
Iggy: With what!? Your stupid vacuum broke!
E. Gadd: Oh yeah…
Iggy: I’ve been killing them with my bare hands!
E. Gadd: So many years of research down the drain…So, why is this ghost here?
Iggy: He’s Q. Ghost, and he’s been helping me defeat the Portrait Ghosts.
E. Gadd: I see. Well, it’s a good thing to know those ghosts will never return!
Iggy: Alright! I got all the ghosts!
E. Gadd: Not quite. You still have many more left to defeat!
Iggy: Darn.
End of chapter! Who took Larry? Where is Larry? Why was the Poltergust 3000 so easy to break? Why was Voldemort there? Why is Q. Ghost so friendly? Why weren’t there questions after the prologue? None of these questions will be answered in Chapter Two! …OR WILL THEY?!!?
Chapter 2: The King is Released!
Iggy: We’ll be releasing Elvis?
No! Anyway, Iggy and Q. Ghost go back to the mansion. In front of them is a pair of double doors, Iggy uses his new key to open and the two enter a hallway. They go down a bit and enter The Ball Room. It’s full of Shy Guy Ghosts, which Iggy kills. Suddenly, a regular Shy Guy appears!
Shy Ranger: Hey! I want to be in this story!
Iggy: No, one partner is enough!
Q. Ghost: That’d be me.
Shy Ranger: I didn’t get a big part in the last story!
Iggy: Nobody cares, now scram!
Shy Ranger vanishes and a dancing ghost appears. The ghost is a man doing the samba and shaking maracas, wearing a sombrero, and wearing a ridiculous flashy outfit.
Percy: Well, look at those two ugly creatures.
Iggy and Q. Ghost: WE CAN HEAR YOU!!
Percy: Liar.
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …
Iggy kicks Percy into a wall while Q. Ghost shoots energy beams.
Iggy: This isn’t even the right kind of room to samba! This room is for ball room dancing!
Iggy starts break dancing.
Q. Ghost: What are you doing!?
Iggy starts spinning on his head. He increases in speed and spins into Percy.
Iggy: Super Fist of the Palm Tree Hair: Ball Room Dancing!
Q. Ghost: THAT’S BREAKDANCING!!
Percy: GUBA! Grr…FEEL THE POWER OF SAMBA!
Percy starts hitting the duo with his maracas.
Iggy and Q. Ghost: GUBA!!
Iggy snatches one of the maracas away and hits Percy in the throat.
Percy: *cough* GAH! Take this!
He kicks at the duo, but Iggy catches his leg and slams him into the floor, where Q. Ghost delivers an energy blast, destroying Percy. The lights turn on and a ruby appears, which Iggy collects.
Both: Success!
The two enter the Storage Room and are ambushed by two Purple Punchers and a grabbing ghost.
Grabbing Ghost: Die!
Grabbing Ghost…grabs Iggy! Oh dear DAD!
Iggy: …
Grabbing Ghost: …
Iggy: Ummm…
Grabbing Ghost: I thought this hurt people!
Iggy: Nope.avi.
Grabbing Ghost: My life is a lie!
The Grabbing Ghost vanishes. While all this is happening, Q. Ghost is getting totally owned by Purple Punchers like a noob.
Iggy: Stop talking like that!
You never let me have any fun! Anyway, Iggy punches one Purple Puncher in the face while Q. Ghost shoots an energy bean at the other and they both DIE…or vanish…or whatever. Anyway, the lights turn on.
Q. Ghost: Hey, what’s that?
Q. Ghost points to a button. Iggy presses it and the wall of the room moves backward, revealing a caged door in the floor and a poster of a Boo behind bars.
Iggy: Stupid poster…
Iggy tears it up and sees that another button was hidden beneath it, he presses it. THE FOOL! Anyway, the caged door opens, releasing a misty mist-like mist. Evil cackling is heard.
Iggy: That might have been a bad idea…
Q. Ghost: Maybe we should-
Suddenly, fifty Boos and King Boo all fly out of the door.
Boo: Freedom!
Boo #2: About time we got out of there!
King Boo: Well, well, if it isn’t Iggy!
Iggy: You stole my brother, didn’t you?!
King Boo: Yep! *cackles maniacally*
Iggy: IMA FIRIN MAH LAZA!! BLAAAH!!
Iggy fires his laza, killing thirty five Boos.
King Boo: Whoah! Let’s get outta here!
He and the other Boos go through the walls and vanish.
Q. Ghost: Wait…Didn’t someone else do that in their story?
Iggy: Shush! It’d be redundant to write thirty five Boo fights!
Q. Ghost: I guess…
Suddenly, the Game Boy Horror starts ringing. Iggy answers it.
Iggy: Whattup?
E. Gadd: Well, it seems you released all the Boos-
Iggy: How did you know that happened?
E. Gadd: Magic. *snort snort*
Iggy: …
E. Gadd: Anyway, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t release them all at once.
Iggy: I killed thirty five.
E. Gadd: Oh! Well, that’s certainly helpful! Anyway, Boos are more powerful in a group, so I suggest killing the last fifteen Boos before tying to kill King Boo.
Iggy: Alright.
Iggy hangs up.
Q. Ghost: At least we know who our main enemy is.
Iggy: I guess. Onward, to ADVENTURE!
Q. Ghost: YEAH!!
The two calmly walk out of the room. Well, floating in Q. Ghost’s case. They enter the hall and head south, and enter the Maid’s Room.
Iggy: Why does a maid have her own room?
A ghostly maid appears!
Beatrice: All I do is clean! I have to pick up everybody’s trash, and I ask myself: WHY!? WHY!? WHY!?
Giant letter Y’s appear and crush Iggy. They then vanish.
Iggy: Ow…
Beatrice: I will clean your clock!
Iggy: Lame pun...
Madame Clairvoya: You’re a lame pun!
Iggy: …
Beatrice takes out a frying pan.
Beatrice: My broom will be enough to destroy you!
Q. Ghost: That’s a frying pan!
Iggy: That’s a fancy broom! I can’t win!
Q. Ghost: It’s not a broom!
Beatrice whacks Iggy across the face with her broom.
Q. Ghost: Not you too!
Shut up. Anyway, Iggy grabs Beatrice by the feet and spins her around, he then lets go and sends her into a cabinet of cleaning supplies.
Beatrice: Time to bring out my vacuum!
Beatrice equips herself with a flamethrower.
Q. Ghost: ARE YOU KIDDING!?
In anger, Q. Ghost shoots a large energy beam at Beatrice, destroying her. The lights turn on.
Iggy: Hey! I wanted to see what she would do with that vacuum!
Q. Ghost: …
The lights turn on as chest appears and Iggy collects the treasure inside. The two then exit the room. They enter a door to the north, winding up in a neat and tidy room. Inside is a well-dressed little boy, about ten years old.
Jack: ‘Ello there guvna. Didja come to play with me?
Iggy: Ahahaha- NO!
Jack: …THEN YOU MUST SUFFER!!
Jack summons toy soldiers that start shooting tiny bullets at Iggy and Q. Ghost.
Iggy and Q. Ghost: Ow! Ow! Ow! That stings!
Iggy kicks all of the toys away, rendering them lifeless.
Jack: My most powerful minions! How dare you!?
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …
Jack shoots dark beams at the duo. Q. Ghost is hit while Iggy dodges and punches Jack in the face.
Jack: Ow! My nose!
Iggy: What happened to your accent?
Jack: …
Jack kicks Iggy in the shin.
Iggy: *clutching his shin while hopping on one foot* Ow! You little punk!
Iggy punches Jack in the face, breaking his nose.
Jack: Guba!!
Iggy: Time to finish this!
Iggy picks up Jack and slams the ghost headfirst into the floor, making the spirit vanish.
Iggy: You okay, Q. Ghost?
Q. Ghost: *recovers from the attack* Yeah…
The two exit the now lit room and enter a room to the south. Inside is what looks like a war zone, with sandbag walls and barbwire. Inside is the ghost of a general with general attire, and a neat-o general’s hat.
General Oliver: ENEMY HAS ENTERED THE WAR ZONE! Time to die!
Iggy: What is with this mansion!? Also, did the narrator really say neat-o?
General Oliver: You to have entered my territory, now die!
General Oliver takes out an AK-47 and shoots at Iggy and Q. Ghost, who duck behind their walls.
Iggy: Seriously, what is with this mansion?!
Q. Ghost: No way I know!
Suddenly, two grenades are lobbed over the wall.
Iggy and Q. Ghost: Oh cr-
The grenades explode, sending the two face first into the ceiling, they then fall back to the floor.
Iggy: Ow…we have to fight back somehow!
Q. Ghost: How?!
Iggy: Hmmm…
Iggy makes his hand in the shape of a pistol and aims it at General Oliver.
Iggy: Bang! Bang! Bang!
Q. Ghost: That will never work!
General Oliver: *clutches left arm* Gah! I’m hit!
Q. Ghost: It worked!!
General Oliver pretends to throw a grenade.
General Oliver: KABOOM! I gotcha!
Iggy: No, you missed!
General Oliver: Cheater! I did not miss!
Iggy: You’re just a sore loser!
General Oliver: I’m telling Mom!
Iggy: Fine, go!
General Oliver: I will!
Iggy: Great!
General Oliver: Fine!
Iggy: Wonderful!
General Oliver: Fantastic!
Iggy: Good!
General Oliver leaves, while grumbling. The lights turn on.
Q. Ghost: That was…interesting.
A diamond appears.
Iggy: Oh yes!
Iggy collets it and the duo enters the Kitchen. Pots and pans fly at Iggy who just nonchalantly bats them away.
Q. Ghost: Hey look, a fridge.
Q. Ghost opens it and the door slams into his face and a ghostly chef appears. He’s skinny and is wearing chef attire, complete with a funny chef hat. He also has a thick, black mustache that covers his mouth.
Chef John: I will bake you in a pie!!
Iggy and Q. Ghost: …
Chef John: I see you are mute with fear!
Iggy: I was actually thinking about how none of these ghosts have ghostly tails.
Q. Ghost: I was actually wondering about that, too.
Chef John: Don’t ignore me!
Chef John takes out a cleaver and swings at Iggy, who catches the weapon.
Iggy: We were in the middle of a conversation! HOW RUDE!!
Iggy kicks the chef in the gut.
Chef John: GUBA!
Q. Ghost catches Chef John by the legs and starts spinning him around. Iggy holds out his fist, so the chef keeps swinging into it.
Iggy: Combined Super Fist: Merry-Go-Round Of PAIN!
Iggy grabs hold of Chef John’s arms and starts pulling, while Q. Ghost pulls on the legs.
Iggy: This is too easy.
Chef John: Owowowowow! Please stop! I’ll join your group!
Iggy and Q. Ghost look at each other and nod. Iggy breathes fire while Q. Ghost shoots energy beams at the pathetic chef, destroying him. The lights turn on.
Iggy: That was too easy.
Q. Ghost: What’s with the door?
He points to the next door, which is on fire.
Iggy: Weird…
Iggy takes a large glass and fills it from the sink, then pours it on the fire, putting it out. The two enter the Boneyard! Oooh, scary! There’s a ghost dog in his doghouse. Except the dog has three heads!
Cerberus: Bark! Bark! Grrr…
Suddenly, a Skeleton Ghost appears.
Mr. Bones: Shut up!
Iggy uppercuts the Skeleton Ghost, making one his bones fall on the ground. Cerberus wags his tail and starts gnawing the bone with one of his heads, while the other two whimper with jealousy.
Q. Ghost: I’ll handle this!
Q. Ghost shoots an energy beam at Cerberus, knocking the dog away from the bone.
Cerberus: BARK! BARK!
One of Cerberus’ heads bites Q. Ghost in the arm, the other bites the other arm, while the last bites the body. Q. Ghost retaliates by shooting eye beams at Cerberus repeatedly in the heads, but the dog refuses to let go.
Iggy: Q. Ghost. You must find your center.
Q. Ghost: *still shooting beams at Cerberus* What does that mean?
Iggy: *goofy voice* I dunno! *shrugs*
Q. Ghost: …Forget it then! *shoots an energy beam out of his mouth point blank at Cerberus, knocking the boss ghost off*
Cerberus: Arf! Grrr…
Cerberus shoots a shadow orb at Q. Ghost, who catches it and throws it back at Cerberus.
Cerberus: Arooo…
Q. Ghost uppercuts one of the heads, and bonks the other two together, Three Stooges style.
Cerberus: BARK!
Cerberus lunges at Q. Ghost, dodges, and picks up the ghost bone.
Q. Ghost: See the bone? See the bone!?
Cerberus: Bark! *wags tail*
Q. Ghost: Well, you can’t have it!
Q. Ghost whacks each head in the nose.
Cerberus: *whimpers*
Q. Ghost shoots another point blank beam at Cerberus, finishing the dog off.
Iggy: Nice going…I guess.
Q. Ghost: …
Iggy notices a weird bean thing in the dirt.
Iggy: What the?
Iggy waters it with a magical hose from nowhere. The bean sprouts a plant, but does nothing else.
Iggy: Lame.
The two jump over a wall and end up in a graveyard.
Iggy: Spooky.
Freddie: Alright gang, let’s catch those mean ol’ ghosts!
Shaggy: Like, zoinks! That, like, sounds scary, man!
Scooby: Reah! Rary!
Iggy: Go away!
The three Scooby-Doo characters vanish and the biggest tombstone starts glowing.
Iggy: Ah great, now what?
Q. Ghost: Oh no…this must be Bogmire’s lair!
Iggy: Bogmire?
Suddenly, a freaky purple monster appears.
Bogmire: ROAAAAAARRR!!!
Iggy: AAAAAHHH!!!
The three are teleported to an arena with the same freaky background as when they fought Chauncey.
Q. Ghost: We’re doomed!
Iggy: Oh, shut up.
Bogmire: Roooooar!!
Iggy: Stop that!
Bogmire: Sorry.
Bogmire summons two shadow versions of himself.
Bogmire: Go, my minions!
The Shadow Bogmires attack. Iggy kicks one of the Shadow Bogmires, which dies, while Q. Ghost kills the other with an energy beam.
Bogmire: Bah, those things are useless anyway.
Bogmire shoots a purple flame at the duo. Iggy uses Q. Ghost as a shield.
Q. Ghost: Guba!!
Iggy: *carelessly tosses Q. Ghost aside* How dare you harm my friend!!
Bogmire: Whaaa?!
Iggy kicks Bogmire, then uppercuts the demon. Before Bogmire can recover, Iggy picks up Q. Ghost and uses him to whack Bogmire.
Q. Ghost: Stop doing that!
Iggy: Sorry…
Bogmire: I will destroy you!
Bogmire summons shadow orbs, that ram into the duo and explode, stunning the two.
Iggy: So much pain…
Bogmire: Time to die!
???: Stop, villain!
???2: Indeed!
Bogmire turns to see Jelly Jiggler and Elvis.
Elvis: Bubba-looey!
Q. Ghost: …
Iggy: Jelly Jiggler?! For once, I’m happy to see you!
Jelly Jiggler: Step away, villain! I’ll give you one chance to surrender before I-
Bogmire shoots another purple flame at Jelly Jiggler, engulfing him.
Jelly Jiggler: Ow…*coughs up soot*
Elvis: Bubba-looey.
Bogmire: You’re next, Elvis!
Elvis starts singing! Bogmire can’t handle the amounts of rock and roll and takes heavy damage.
Bogmire: Grrr…he’s too strong!
Jelly Jiggler: Time for one of my most powerful attacks! Man’s Fist!
Jelly Jiggler hits Bogmire with an extremely powerful punch, sending the purple demon to the edge of the arena. Suddenly, Jelly Jiggler’s “fist” explodes.
Iggy: What happened to your hand!?
Jelly Jiggler: Man’s Fist is so strong it destroys your hand!
Jelly Jiggler’s hand regenerates and he makes a troll face.
Jelly Jiggler: Unless you’re made of jelly!
His face returns to normal.
Bogmire: I won’t lose to the likes of you!
At this point, Iggy and Q. Ghost have recovered and are on their feet.
Iggy: You can’t beat all four of us!
Q. Ghost: Yeah!
Elvis: Thank you very much!
Bogmire: Grr…RAAAAHH!!! FULL POWER!!!
Bogmire grows until he’s thirty feet tall.
Bogmire: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!
Iggy: D’oh!
Elvis: Bubba-looey!
Jelly Jiggler: Oh sweet Jelly DAD!
Q. Ghost: We’re doomed!
Bogmire: I SHALL CRUSH YOU!!
Jelly Jiggler: Man’s Fist!!
Jelly Jiggler uses his Man’s Fist on Bogmire, which scoots the demon an inch back. Jelly Jiggler’s “fist” explodes and regenerates.
Bogmire: Mwahahaha! Nice try!
Elvis: Bubba-looey! Bubba! Bubba-looey!
Elvis sends giant music notes at Bogmire, which explode on contact.
Bogmire: Roooooar!!
Bogmire sends shadow orbs in energy direction, hitting all four of our heroes.
All Four: Gubba!!
Iggy: I have an idea! DOUBLE MAN’S FIST!!
Jelly Jiggler: No! That’s suicide!
Iggy punches Bogmire with both fists, doing massive damage. Oddly enough, Iggy’s fists remain intact.
Jelly Jiggler: He’s mastered the Man’s Fist! I’m so proud…
Bogmire: Rooaar…
Q. Ghost shoots several energy beams at Bogmire, doing minimal damage.
Q. Ghost: I’ll distract him! Get him, Iggy!
Iggy: Right!
Iggy sets Bogmire on fire.
Bogmire: NOOOOOO!!!
Bogmire burns until he vanishes and the four are teleported to the graveyard.
Iggy: Thanks for helping, you two!
Elvis: Bubba-looey!
Jelly Jiggler: No problem! Say, can I join your adve-
Iggy: No.
Jelly Jiggler: Awww…
He and Elvis vanish. A chest appears. Iggy opens it and a ton of coins and cash appears. Iggy collects it all, along with a green key. Suddenly, the Game Boy Horror rings. Iggy answers.
Iggy: Hello?
E. Gadd: Thank goodness you’re safe! I lost connection and thought you DIED!
Iggy: Nope.
E. Gadd: Good! Now then, come back to the lab, you must be exhausted!
Iggy: Okay then!
He and Q. Ghost magically teleport to the lab. They were facing the large tombstone the whole time and failed to notice The G-Man watching them from behind one of the trees in the graveyard. He smiles, straightens his tie, and vanishes. Iggy and Q. Ghost appear in front of E. Gadd.
E. Gadd: Alright, that’s another couple of ghosts destroyed!
Iggy: How do you even know we destroyed any other ghosts besides Bogmire and Chauncey.
E. Gadd: Magic.
Iggy: Makes sense. So, was that all of them?
E. Gadd: Nope, there are still more.
Iggy: Dang! Well, I’m gonna take a nap!
Iggy collapses and falls asleep.
E. Gadd and Q. Ghost: …
Meanwhile, in the Hooded Figure’s lair, things were happening! Inside the room is a long table full of villainous figures, there are many shadows, hiding their identities. The Hooded Figure is at the front of the table with nine chairs around the table with two of them being empty.
Hooded Figure: Alright, it’s been a long time since all of us have been in the same room together. I think all of us, The Ten Heavenly Knights, are aware Larry and Iggy are our main enemies. Some of us have lost minions to them.
The Hooded Figure gestures to the person setting closes to him, all that can be seen of him is a glowing red eye. The man doesn’t respond.
Hooded Figure: Some of us have even been beaten by them. I mean you two, Dedede and Robotnik.
King Dedede: No fair! I didn’t have good help!
Eggman: They didn’t even beat me, Sega did!
King Dedede: How did you escape them, anyway?
Eggman: They’re busy ruining a Sonic game by adding in annoying sidekicks.
King Dedede: Ah.
Eggman: Should we even be called the Ten Heavenly Knights anymore?
King Dedede: Yeah, we have eight members after Smithy and Bowletta bit the dust!
Hooded Figure: The name never changes! Besides, Bowletta isn’t finished quite yet.
King Dedede: We should’ve had Gruntilda as a member instead of Cackletta, she failed twice.
One of the figures, Commander Red, slams his fist on the table.
Commander Red: Just where are we, anyway? Whenever I get a message saying I’m supposed to come to you, I just appear here!
Hooded Figure: This room is just an alternate dimension I made. Outside of it is nothingness.
Commander Red: Creepy.
Another figure speaks.
Figure: What about that G-Man? He’s becoming a problem!
Hooded Figure: Do not worry, Project MM. He’ll be dealt with.
Another figure, a woman, speaks up, not before lighting a cigarette.
Woman: We should send one of my assassins. Each one can destroy that meddling group with ease.
Hooded Figure: You will only if I order it.
Another figure speaks up, a man with orange hair.
Man: I don’t even have any minions.
Hooded Figure: So?
Man: Everyone else has some…
Hooded Figure: Fine.
Behind the man, eleven coffins appear.
Hooded Figure: These will be your minions, you shall unleash one when I command it. Anyone else have anything to add?
Nobody else says anything.
Hooded Figure: Meeting finished.
Everyone vanishes.
Who are all of these villains? Well, the three unrevealed ones that is. What are they planning? How did Iggy master the Man’s Fist so darn fast? Why am I asking you these questions? They most likely won’t be answered in the next chapter!