Punchinello: Bombert, let’s get moving.
Bombert: Where are we going, sir?
Punchinello: Bowser’s Castle.
Bombert: Why do you want to visit the king of failures?
Punchinello: The freak said he’s going to invade his castle. So all I have to do is pummel the freak when he least expects it and boom, I’m famous.
Bombert: Nice idea, sir.
Punchinello: Thank you, Bombert. Now let’s going.
The two start walking and see Broque Monsieur.
Bombert: It’s the legendary block collector, Broque Monsieur!
Broque Monsieur: ! Bonjour, Monsieur Punchy and Monsieur Omb.
Bombert: The name’s Bombert, Broque.
Punchinello: Why are you still here, block face?
Broque Monsieur: I am looking for my dog Broggy.
????: RUFF!!!
Broque Monsieur: ! BROGGY!!!
Broggy tackles Broque Monsieur and then glares at Punchinello.
Punchinello: Now what are you looking at?
Broque: He’s been in a bad mood lately. Monsieur Punchy, can you give him a small lesson?
Punchinello: Ha! Are you kidding me? I’ll teach this mutt a lesson!
A bomb symbol covers the screen.
Punchinello: IT’S SHOWTIME!!!
Punchinello runs at Broggy and punches him but Broggy just gets mad.
Broque: Monsieur! Broggy laughs at ze punches. He zoesn’t like fire though.
Punchinello: Excellent. Now time to-
WHAM!
Broggy tackles Punchinello into a tree. Punchinello’s fuse lites up and Punchinello breathes fire, but Broggy jumps high into the air and avoids the attack. Punchinello quickly lites his fuse even bigger and the fire shields Punchinello from Broggy’s body slam.
Punchinello: HA! O_O
WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!
Broggy rams into Punchinello three times and Punchinello crashes into a wall. Broggy roars and his attack power increases. Broggy charges at Punchinello but he breathes fire on Broggy, causing him to trip and fall flat on his face. Puncinello slams his fist on his back and deals major damage.
Broggy: YIPE! YIPE!
Broggy gets up and quickly jumps up, but Punchinello breathes fire again and stuns Broggy and he turns around, revealing his weak spot.
Punchinello: This is like taking candy from a baby.
Punchinello punches him in the back again and sends him flying into a tree. Broggy gets even angrier, and howls and starts to glow red.
Broque: Sacre Bleu! Broggy haz enter ze Fury Mode!
Punchinello: Big deal!
Broggy starts charging at Punchinello but he breathes fire and Broggy turns around.
Punchinello: Like I said. LIKE TAKING CANDY FROM A BABY!!! YAAAAAAA-
CRUNCH!!!
Broggy quickly turned around and caught Punchinello’s fist… with his mouth.
Punchinello: OOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!! LET GO, YOU @#$% DOG!!!
Broggy starts swinging him around and Punchinello starts getting dizzy, then Broggy throws him into a wall. Punchinello tries to get up but Broggy Giga Impacts him and Punchinello hits a wall. Broggy bites his arm again and starts swinging him around at super speed, but while Broggy is doing that, Punchinello drops his Retry Clock 2.0
Bombert: ! What’s this?
Punchinello: Use tha- GACK!!!
Bombert: Interesting clock. It looks like it has the power of the Stars. It seems to restart you at the point you messed up. Fascinating.
Punchinello: JUST USE I- MY LEGS!!!
Bombert: But I want to study it!
Punchinello: HELP ME! FOR THE LOVE OF DAD!!! HEEEEEELLLLP MEEEE!!!
Bombert: Oh fine. RETRY!!!
Vs. Broggy
Punchinello sees Broggy cowering and goes to punch him, but before Broggy can bite him, Punchinello jumps over him. Punchinello takes a deep breath but Broggy slams into Punchinello. Broggy starts running around Punchinello so fast that he causes a tornado to appear.
Punchinello: WHAT THE?!
The tornado throws Punchinello next to Bombert.
Punchinello: I don’t have any more Retry Clocks, do I?
Bombert: Nope.
Broque: MONSIEURS!!! Broggy iz readying his finishing move. Hurry!
Punchinello: Bombert! Distract the dog.
Bombert: What do you want me to do? Lecture it?!
Punchinello: BLOW UP!
Bombert: But-
Punchinello: WE’RE ABOUT TO DIE!!!
Broggy slams into Punchinello and goes into the air and body slams him, then he hits him from behind. Broggy waits for something.
Broggy: ? Ruff Ruff Ruff? Ru- (What the? Where they’d go? I should probably-)
Punchinello quickly breathes fire and Broggy falls down. Bombert blows up behind him and defeats Broggy just like that.
Battle Over. +300 EXP. Level Up.
Broggy quickly flees.
Broque: WAIT, BROGGY! FORGIVE MOI!!!
Broque chases after his dog.
Punchinello: Well, let’s go.
The duo walk away and make it into Dimble Wood.
CHAPTER 3 - WAR IN THE WOODS
Punchinello: Where are we now?
Bombert: Sir, we were here a few hours ago. Don’t you remember?
Punchinello: Oh right. *munch, munch* BELCH!!!
Punchinello throws a wrapper on the ground.
Bombert: PUNCHINELLO, NO!!! THAT’S LITERING!!!
Punchinello: So what?! WHO’S GOANNA ARREST ME?! THOSE STUPID TREES?! HA HA HA HA!!!
Bombert: ! Yes.
Punchinello: Huh?
Suddenly a bunch of Treevils with nuts on them start charging at Punchinello.
Bombert: Way to go, genius.
Punchinello: Shut it! What to do?
Bombert: Well, from research, if you inhale their nuts they lose power.
Punchinello: Right!
Punchinello inhales the nuts, but the trees are still angry.
Bombert: Oh dear. DO SOMETHING!!!
Punchinello breathes fire at the trees and they slow down a little.
Bombert: Sir! They’re still coming! QUICK, PUNCH THEM WITH ALL YOUR MIGH-
GRAB!
Bombert: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
Punchinello: I CANNOT CONTINUE WITHOUT SACRIFICES!!!
Bombert: WHAT?! NO SIR! N-
Punchinello throws Bombert into the stampede of Treevils.
Punchinello: QUICK, BOMBERT!!! BLOW THEM UP WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT BEFORE THEY-
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Punchinello: … Uh, he’s dead. !
Suddenly a huge light appears around the Treevils and a huge explosion occurs that blows all the Treevils into oblivion.
Punchinello: O_O
Bombert: ):<
Punchinello: See man, you’re invincible. I’d do it for y-
BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Punchinello: OWOWOWOWOWO!!!
Bombert: WHAT THE @#$%!!!
Punchinello: Why can’t you snap more often?
Bombert: Let’s just go.
The duo start walking again and run into Broggy.
Broggy: Ruff ruff.
Broque: What iz wrong, Broggy?
Punchinello: Oh, it’s you again.
Broque: Ah, Monsieurs. Thiz iz what you call fate. Thiz iz a store I run with moi’s Broggy. Go buy, zell, s'il vous plait.
5 minutes later…
Punchinello: @#$%!
Broggy: Ruff! Ruff! (Ha! You have the worst luck!)
Broque: By the way, Monsieur Punchy. Where are you going?
Punchinello: Do you know where Bowser’s Castle is located?
Broque: Hmm… ! You mean Monsieur Turtle Bits, no?
Punchinello: Sure.
Broque: Head north of here until you reach Bumpzy Plains, then head east until you reach Bowser Path. Then just follow zat path.
Punchinello: Thanks.
Broggy: WAIT!
Punchinello: What?
Broggy: While you’re searching for ze path, can you find my 15 lost Blitties?
Punchinello: Blitties?
Bombert: Block cats, master.
Punchinello: Oh. Sure, but on one condition.
Broque: You wantz to use moi’s Broggy?
Punchinello: Okay, two conditions. One is the block dog and two… give me another Retry Clock.
Broque: Fine.
You got another Retry Clock 2.0
Bombert: LET’S GO!
The duo head into the deeper part of the woods until they get lost.
Punchinello: I HATE THIS PLACE!!!
????: Who said that?
Punchinello & Bombert: !
They turn around and see a cage with Podoboos.
Podoboo; Help! It’s tight in here!
Podoboo 2: OW! QUIT IT! WHERE’S MASTER BOWSER?!
Bombert: Nello, they need our help! Let’s-
Punchinello: I told you to never call me Nello again! Besides, why should we help those Lava Bubbles anyways?
Bombert: Well they are actually called Podoboos, and secondm they can help usm sir.
Punchinello: Fine. Hey, I think I saw something that’ll help us in a pinch.
Bombert: What is it?
Later…
Bombert: YOU CANNOT LIFT THAT!!!
Punchinello: Watch me! I’ll pull this Wiggler Statue out and make a bridge with it.
Bombert: That thing has to at least weigh 1 ton. How can you lift tha-
Punchinello proceeds to try lifting it.
Inside Punchinello…
Starlow: ! Look, the muscle plant is reacting again.
Snifit 1: ! Well then, let’s go!
THE MUSCLE PLANT
When they get there the cannon immediately starts shooting Lil’ Sparkies at them, but Booster takes out an aluminum bat and starts hitting all the Sparkies back at the muscle, which generates an electrical shock that of course strengthens Punchinello.
Bombert: Is it me or did you get stronger?
Punchinello: Yeah, I can lift this thing!
Snifit 1: This is taking too long!
Snifit 1 uses Static E and the entire plant gets electrified.
Punchinello: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWRGGGG!!!
Punchinello picks it up and throws it into the water.
Bombert: O_O Dude.
Punchinello: I RULE!!!
Punchinello heads to the other side and frees the Podoboos.
Podoboo: DON’T KILL US!!!
Punchinello: Beg your pardon?
Podoboo: You attacked Bowser’s Castle.
Punchinello: What?
???: Indeed you did.
Bombert: !
The Fawful copter appears.
Fawful: When you ate the Shroom of Vacuuming you attacked the fat Koopa’s castle first, then attacked the castle of Peach. I have chortles.
Punchinello: YOU’RE NOT GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!!!
Fawful: I have. Bye!
The Fawful copter leaves.
Punchinello: GRRRRRRRRRR!!!
Podoboo: … We’ll help.
Bombert: Oh no. Last time I was partnered with one of you guys, I blew up so much I needed surgery!
Podoboo 2: We’ll give you 20 bucks.
Bombert: DEAL!
Punchinello: Let’s go.
10 minutes later…
Podoboo: ! LOOK!
Sergeant Guy: *huff* Hurry, guys!
Corporal: I’m trying my best!
Private: It’s hard when you have no hands!!!
Punchinello: HEY!
Sergeant Guy: ! Pyron! What are you doing with the enemy?
Podoboo 1: First of all, he was brainwashed by enemy Fawful, and second, call me Master Flame.
Sergeant: Anyways, we’re looking for a Banzai Bill to shoot down Bowser’s Castle. Think you can lend us a hand?
Bombert: Sure.
Punchinello: Let’s go!
2 minutes later…
Punchinello: Who farms in this kingdom?!
Bombert: Wiggler Farms - a place that grows organic vegetables that can cure poison and give a lot of energy; and they don’t use pesticides or any other funky-
Punchinello: SHUT UP!!!
Lil Wiggler: ? Hello there.
Punchinello: Spill it! Where’s the meat that you serve here?
Lil Wiggler: No meat. Only veggies.
Punchinello: This place would be a great battlefield against those bumbling idiots.
Pyron: Shouldn’t we get going?
Punchinello: Yeah.
They continue walking until they run into the Giga Turnip.
Bombert: Wow.
Punchinello grabs it and tries to pull it up, but…
MUSCLE PLANT
They see Punchinello’s muscle has been completely covered.
Grate Guy: Hmm. Due to an electric storm incident, the muscles shall be closed. GREAT GOING!!!!
Punchinello: Huh? You say anything?
Pyron: No.
????: DON’T TOUCH THAT!!!
Punchinello’s Team: !
Wiggler appears.
Wiggler: I know what you’re here for. If you wish to receive the Banzai Bill you must eat 50 turnips in under 1 minute.
Punchinello: What? Um…Okay.
Punchinello starts scarfing down some turnips. Meanwhile…
THE GUT GRINDER
Grate Guy: Look!
They see a bunch of sharp gears, but some of the turnips get stuck in them since Punchinello is scarfing them too fast.
Starlow: Help him.
Snifit 2: I’M NOT TOUCHING THAT!!!
30 seconds left…
Punbchinello: Must… finish… disgusting…. food…
Knife Guy: It’s no good! My knife isn’t strong enough.
5 seconds left…
Punchinello grabs the last turnip and puts it in his mouth, but cannot chew it.
Grate Guy: @#$% THIS!!!
Grate Guy raises his hand and a flame wall rises from the gears and burns all the turnips.
Punchinello: 0_0 BEEEEEEEEEEEEEELCHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Punchinello belches a heat wave in front of the Wiggler’s face.
Bombert: Oh boy.
Wiggler: ):< YOU DISRESPECT ME AND MY VEGETABLES!!! YOU’RE NOT WELCOME HERE!!!
VS Wiggler
Wiggler takes out a shovel and starts smacking Punchinello with it. Bombert tackles Wiggler but Wiggler just uppercuts Bombert. Punchinello takes the opportunity and picks up Wiggler and tosses him into a wall, then Punchinello jumps on two of his body segments. Wiggler quickly gets up and smashes into Punchinello and he hits a wall. Punchinello tries to get up but the Wiggler takes out a rake and starts slashing Punchinello. Bombert quickly explodes near Wiggler; it is a weak explosion but Bombert still hits the last red body segment. Wiggler becomes sad and Punchinello calls the Podoboos and does a Podoboo Blast. Punchinello inhales them all and his fuse lites, then Punchinello breathes a huge fireball. The Podoboos from that fireball burn the Wiggler on contact and split up, each jumping on the Wiggler. Wiggler takes massive damage and gets so angry that his flower turns into a Fire Flower. Wiggler starts throwing fireballs from his hands. The Podoboos take the hits but Wiggler slams his fist and creates a shockwave that blows the Podoboos away. Punchinello tries to punch Wiggler but Wiggler does a Falcon Punch and sends Punchinello flying.
Punchinello: Darn! If only I could re-perform my own Falcon Punch. YIPE!
Wiggler does Flare Blitz and sends Punchinello into a rock.
Punchinello: Wait, that’s it!
Punchinello tries to inhale Wiggler while Bombert goes for cover. The Wiggler just remains there and prepares an attack.
Punchinello: *huff, puff* Huh?
Wiggler: HADOKEN!!!
Punchinello: USELESS %#@ INHALING POWERS!!!
The Hadoken (a huge energy sphere) KO’s Punchinello.
Bombert: Oh dear. YIPE!
Bombert runs around in circles but quickly jumps over a rock that the Wiggler hits as it then becomes dizzy for a while. Bombert gets the Retry Clock and goes back to where Punchinello started to inhale. Bombert rams into the Wiggler and he messes up his attack. Punchinello quickly slams his fist into the ground and creates a shockwave. Wiggler takes out a gardening hose.
Punchinello: What’s that gonna do?
Wiggler throws out scalding water.
Punchinello: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Punchinello can barely move. Wiggler uppercuts Punchinello, then slams him into the ground, defeating Punchinello… again.
Bombert: @#$% PUNCHINELLO!!!
Wiggler punches Bombert into a wall. Bombert tries to get up but Wiggler corners him and gets ready to hose Bombert. Suddenly the hose is burned up by Pyron. Wiggler flare blitzes but Pyron jumps high enough to avoid it and Wiggler crashes and gets dizzy.
Pyron: We can win this!
Wiggler takes out a heavy machine gun that is loaded with turnips. Wiggler starts shooting rapidly but Pyron increases his flames and shields Bombert. Bombert quickly runs and jumps on Wiggler’s head. Wiggler chases him around until Pyron hits a cliff with a fireball, causing a rock to fall down. Wiggler trips over the rock and falls upside down. Bombert tries to blow up again but can’t. Wiggler starts to get up but Pyron blows fireballs at Bombert’s fuse, which makes him angry and causes him to release a huge explosion that finishes off Wiggler, and almost Bombert as well.
Battle Over. +600
Pts.
LEVEL UP. RANK
UP FOR EVERYONE
- BOSS RANK
- MINION RANK
- FLAME RANK.
Punchinello: Ugh. Let’s grab the Banzai Bill or whatever, and go.
They find the Banzai Bill and prepare to leave. Suddenly Punchinello stops.
Punchinello: 0_o AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!
Starlow: What’s wrong?
Pyron: What’s wrong?
Punchinello: Hurts. Definitely hurts.
Starlow: We should help him. Let’s go.
NERVE ROADWAY
The Snifits see a lot of nerves that lead to Punchinello’s brain.
Snifit 3: What an odd place. It’s like a-
Starlow: WISDURM?!
Snifit 2: What? No it’s a-
Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! Thwack!
Snifit 1, 2, and the jesters get smacked by a bunch of Buffdus (metallic spheres with one eye that shoots lasers and have hammers for hands).
Booster: Ugly worm thingy…
Durmite: ! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWRGGGGGGGG!!!
Starlow: Look Wisdurm, calm down. There is no need for-
VS DURMITE
Durmite immediately tackles Booster into one of the nerves, shocking him. The Buffdus starts shooting lasers at Snifit 3 but he quickly roll0dodges and shoots down the Buffdus, which land and explode on Durmite. Durmite throws out an odd string thingy that grabs Booster and slams Booster onto Snifit 3. Durmite does another ram attack that hits the duo and they get launched into another stream of nerves.
Punchinello: OWOWOWOWLOWOLWOW!!!
Bombert: !
Inside the body, little UFOs start beaming everything, hitting Durmite a ton of times and spraying the nerves; this heals them but also luckily heals the duo. Durmite grabs the UFOs and spits them back at Booster, but he catches them with his teeth. The UFOs explode in Booster’s mouth, causing damage, and Durmite double-edges Booster. Snifit 3 uses Static E and the nerves shoot a huge lightning bolt into Durmite. Durmite ground pounds the place and a metallic bone falls on Snifit 3. More Buffdus appear but Booster grabs one and launches it into the other Buffduses. Durmite creates a straw but Snifit 3 uses POW Bill and destroys the straw. Durmite glows completely red.
Durmite shoots a huge star from her mouth but Snifit 3 dodges the attack by ducking. The star continues and hits a nerve that throws a bolt at Snifit 3. Booster gets behind Durmite and grabs her by the tail and swings her around and throws her at a wall. Then Booster takes out his train and starts riding around, as Snifit 3 gets on. Durmite starts chasing after them but Snifit 3 shoots POW Bills to slow her down. Durmite throws out some string but Snifit 3 uses Drain and spits a fireball at the string and it burns off. Suddenly a Buffdus trips the train, and Snifit 3 falls into a cluster of nerves that zaps him enough to KO him. The train spins out of control but Booster makes a U-Turn and the train explodes on Durmite, but she still rams into Booster. Booster gets up but a Buffdus smashes him in the head. The Buffduses hold Booster down and Durmite jumps on him and prepares another Star Cannon, but Booster gets an idea. Booster lets out a huge fart that causes Durmite to cough so much she can’t concentrate. Booster throws off the Buffdus and grabs Durmite. He launches her in the air and then slams her into the Buffduses, then finally into a nerve cluster that shocks Durmite and the Buffduses and causes them to explode.
Battle Over. +300 Pts. Level & Rank up. Bullet Bill Rank.
Durmite becomes small and flees.
Snifit 3: What an odd beetle.
Starlow: THAT WASN’T A BEETLE, YOU IDIOTS!!! That was a sage called Wisdurm.
Booster: Whatever you say… LET’S CATCH IT!!!
The Snifit gang run until they fall into a hole.
????: By boogity! The Snifit gang has found us!
???: Stop saying that.
????: NEVAH!!!
Grate Guy: ! Toadbert? Toad?
Toadbert: This is the freak’s nerve center.
Toad: Who is this freak, anyways?
Booster punches a nerve and it travels all over Punchinello’s arm. Suddenly-
Bombert: Master! Your arm is on fire!
Punchinello: ! FALCON PUNCH!!!
Punchinello does a Falcon Punch but slides when he does it.
Toadbert: By Boogity, freak learned the Sliding Falcon Punch.
Punchinello: ! WHAT?!
Pyron: All I said was that you learned the Sliding Falcon Punch. It’s an improvement.
Punchinello: Oh. Let’s go.
Bombert: Right. Let’s load up that cannon.
So the unlikely team has made it through some tough challenges, but can Punchinello reach Bowser’s Castle and defeat Fawful? And… I’m tired of putting these questions but I guess it’s for dramatic effect. Anyways, stay tuned.
To Be Continued...
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