The Kooptacular Race

By Iggy Koopa

A silhouetted Magikoopa is shown standing on top of Peach’s Castle.

???: Peach’s Castle…

The camera zooms around Peach’s Castle.

???: …Home of the princess, Peach Toadstool.

The camera zooms inside and shows the throne room.

???: This is where all Mushroom Kingdom business takes place.

It shows the meeting room from Bowser’s Inside Story.

???: And it will also be the start for twelve teams of 2…

It shows unidentifiable silhouettes.

???: In the Kooptacular Race!

The lights turn on and reveal a large stage with silhouettes (still unidentifiable) and me, Iggy K.

Iggy K: Introducing, our twelve teams!!!

The following are revealed:

Mario + Pauline – Team Brooklyn

Mouser + Tryclide – Team Froggy
Birdo + Popple – Team Rookie
Fawful + Midbus – Team Dark
Purple + Brown – Team Dino
Fire Bro. + Bowser – Team Koopa
Toad + Toadsworth – Team Toad
Fly Guy + Paratroopa – Team Sky
Shy Guy + Goomba – Team Tiny
Salvo + Phantamanta – Team Slime
Party Monkey + Diddy – Team Kong
BabyWario + Baby Mario – Team Baby

Iggy K: Welcome, Teams, to the Kooptacular Race! In this race you will travel across the Mushroom Kingdom for 1,000,000 coins!

The teams cheer.

Iggy K: Now, to explain the rules. You will race to the clueboxes and take a clue. This clue will lead to the next clue. But it won’t always be a clue. Sometimes, when you open the cluebox, it will be a Detour, Roadblock or a Fast Forward! If it is a blue envelope, it will be a Detour. This will be a choice between two taks. You must do that challenge, but if it’s too hard you can swap. If it is a yellow envelope, it will be a Roadblock. This will be a single challenge that only one person on each team can complete. If it is a red envelope, it will be a Fast Forward. In this you can choose to complete a rather hard challenge, but it will take you all the way to the goal. Then there is also a Yield Sign occasionally, and if you’re the first one to the sign you can choose a team to hold back.

Teams: Ooh. (evil laughter)

Iggy K: So… Ready... set… GOOOO!!!

Teams rush towards the first cluebox. But as for you readers, some explanations. If someone is talking to the camera it looks like this:

Racer’s Name, Racer’s Team: Speech

If it’s showing a specific team, it will look like this:

Racer #1 + Racer #2 – Team Name

And if it’s multiple teams, it will look like this:

Team #1, Team #2, etc.

Now, back to the race!

Team BrooklynTeam Froggy,Team Rookie,Team Dark,Team Dino,Team Koopa,Team Toad,Team Sky,Team Tiny,Team Slime,Team Kong,Team Baby


Mario: Make your way…

Tryclide: …to Yoshi’s Island…

Popple: …and find…

Midbus: …the Yoshi…

Purple: …with the book…

Fire Bro: …to find…

Toad: …your next clue.

Fly Guy: Well then, let’s get outta here!

Goomba: Not without me!

Salvo: Glorp!

Party Monkey: Oh no you don’t!

Baby Wario: Wahahaahaha!

Everyone notices Baby Wario and Baby Mario already hopping through the pipe towards Yoshi’s Island.

All (but Team Baby): CHARGE!!!

BabyWario + Baby Mario – Team Baby

Baby Wario: Now, we at Yoshi Island. Where Yoshi with book?

Baby Mario: I see book. Where Yoshi?

The Babies walk up to the book and open it, revealing a popup Yoshi with a clue.

Baby Wario: Clever!

Baby Mario: Uh-huh.

Baby Wario takes the clue.


Baby Mario: Wasn’t that a yewo envy-ope?

Baby Wario: Yeh, it was.

Baby Mario: That mean… roadblock?

Baby Wario nods.

Phil, Host: Exactly. As explained earlier, roadblocks are for only 1 person. In this one, the one person will have to saddle a wild Rex and ride it in a figure eight around 2 barrels, grabbing the flags off of the barrels as you pass them.

Baby Mario: I wanna! I wanna!

Baby Wario: *sigh* Go ahead.

Baby Mario: Weehee!

Shy Guy + Goomba – Team Tiny

Shy Guy, Team Tiny: We kinda had a… clog in the pipe.

Goomba, Team Tiny: Fortunately for us, our team name was chosen for a reason.

Goomba: Hey Shy, you see any Yoshi-books?

Shy Guy: All I see is a book.

Goomba: Maybe we should look at it.

Shy Guy: Nah, let’s find a Yoshi too.

Shy Guy and Goomba walk off.

Party Monkey + Diddy – Team Kong

Diddy: Ok. So. Yoshi… and book?

Party Monkey: That’s what it said. Right?

Diddy: Yup. Well, I only see Yoshis.

Diddy and Party walk towards the Yoshis but Diddy trips on the book, opening it and revealing the Yoshi and clue.

Party: Wow. That was cool.

Diddy: Yup.

Party takes the clue.

Diddy: Oh boy! It’s yellow.

Party: Ooh… Sounds hard.

Diddy: I’ll do it! I can saddle anything if I can saddle Rambi the Rhino.

Party: Haha! All right, be careful!

Diddy KongBaby Mario

Baby Mario: Oh no! Silly monkey saddling Rex too!

Baby Mario, Team Baby: I have trouble saddling my Rex. It wild! I actually squished the first one and they gave me another.

Diddy: Careful, Rexy. Come on. Lemme up here.

The Rex kicks Diddy in the gut.

Diddy: OOOOGH!

Diddy, Team Kong: Compared to this Rex, Rambi is like a lap cat.

Baby Mario, Team Baby: While Diddy went straight forord, I disracked him with food and snuck up there. I tie food on fishing pole and led him in figure eight. But I miss one flag. I kept trying but Diddy finally got saddled.

Party (from distance): Finally, Diddy! Beat that baby!

Diddy, Team Kong: I raced around in a figure 8 and got both flags. One of them had a clue tied to it. I ran to Party ASAP.

Team BrooklynTeam Froggy,Team Rookie,Team Dark,Team Dino,Team Koopa,Team Toad,Team Sky,Team Slime,Team Baby

Mario, Team Brooklyn: That… took awhile.

Mouser, Team Froggy: We had a little clog. Only Team Tiny and Team Kong managed to get through.

Fly Guy, Team Sky: But, fortunately, we were only a little behind. Team Kong had just passed, Team Baby was still struggling, but Team Tiny was nowhere in sight. 


Mouser: I’ll do it.

Birdo: My job!

Purple: Allow me.

Bowser: You better do it, Fire Bro!

Pauline: I think I could do it.

Fawful: I will be of the doing itness!

Toad: Shall be done.

Paratroopa: Let me! Let me!

Phantamanta: Myzzzz jobzzzzz.

Baby MarioPhantamanta,Paratroopa,Toad,Fawful,Pauline,Fire Bro.,Purple,Birdo,Mouser

Baby Mario: Mamamia!

Baby Mario, Team Baby: I saw Phantamanta, Paratroopa, Toad, Fawful, Pauline, Fire Bro, Purple, Birdo, and Mouser storm towards the Rexes all at once! Fortunley, they squished them. It give me time to get both flags.


Baby Wario: Head to Yoshi’s House to find your next clue. Ok, let’s go!

PhantamantaParatroopa,Toad,Fawful,Pauline,Fire Bro.,Purple,Birdo,Mouser

Fawful: What are you of the meaning?

Cameraman: Um, uh, there are no Rexes left. You’ll, uh, have to wait until someone else is done.

Fawful, Team Dark: You must be of the kidding me! I must be winning as cookies are delicious!

Paratroopa: Easy now…


Paratroopa: Aw man!

Fawful: Now you are the knowing of how I feel!

Paratroopa: Well, you’re in front of me in line.

Pauline, Team Brooklyn: That was relatively easy. Apparently animals just like me. I just comforted it and climbed up and it immediately went in a figure 8 and I got the flags.

Cameraman: All right, Fawful, your turn.


Mario: Let’s-a go!

PhantamantaParatroopa,Toad,Fawful,Fire Bro.,Purple,Birdo,Mouser

Paratroopa: C’mon, someone get done!

Paratroopa, Team Sky: No one was getting it! I couldn’t accomplish anything. Well, I suppose no one else is passing either.

Toad: Yes! I got- No I don’t.

Paratroopa, Team Sky: Ugh!

Purple, Team Dino: So… hard. I’m a dino, and I have to ride on a dino! It’s ridiculous!

Purple: Oh, wait! I speak Rex! Ahem. Rorgree groww roar growl roo! (Please let me ride you!)

Rex: Rorgroo. (Okay.)

Purple saddles the Rex and easily gets the flags.

Purple: Raa groo! (Thank you!)

Paratroopa: Ditto! Hooray!


Brown: Well, what are we waiting for?


Toad: Nonononono! My Rex!

Cameraman: Sorry, none left.

Toad: Ugggh!

PhantamantaParatroopa,Toad,Fawful,Fire Bro.,Birdo,Mouser

Fawful: I am the almost of doneness! I will-


Fawful: Not of the again!

Cameraman: You know the drill.

Fire Bro, Team Koopa: So… tough… Aha! I can just…

Fire Bro. roasts the stick on the flag, causing the flag to fly to him.

Fire Bro: Oh yeah! Now again…

It works again.

Fire Bro: Winna!


Fire Bro: King Bowser! Let’s go!

Toad: My turn!


Birdo: C’mon… Let’s… get it…

Birdo grabs the second flag.

Birdo: Hoorah! I’m done!

Fawful: I am of the excitement!


Birdo: C’mon, Pops!

Popple: Don’t call me that, see?!


Mouser: Careful now…  Easy peasy…

Mouser grabs one flag.

Mouser: I did it! Ye-whoawhoawhoa!!!

Mouser falls off.

Mouser: Aw man!

Mouse resaddles his Rex to try again.

Paratroopa: Got it! Hooray!


Paratroopa: Fly! Come, come!


Toad: Come on, little Rex!

Fawful: I am of the almost doneness!

Mouser: Easy this time.

Phantamanta: Almostzzzz donezzzz… Yeszzz!

Phantamanta grabs both flags.


Phantamanta: Gozzzzz timezzzzz!


Mouser: Ugh!

Mouser can’t get back on.

Toad: C’mon, c’mon!

Toad can’t reach, and falls off.

Toad: Oof! Aw, come on!

Fawful: Doneness!


Fawful: Oh of the kayness.


Toad: This is ridiculous.

Mouser: I know, right?

Shy Guy + Goomba – Team Tiny

Shy Guy: Goomba, something’s wrong.

Goomba: Well… maybe we should’ve checked the book.

Shy Guy: But where was that?

Shy Guy, Team Tiny: Oh man. We were lost.


Toad: Eaaaasy Rex!

Toad grabs a flag.

Toad: Booyah!

Mouser grabs a flag.

Mouser: Oh yeah!

Toad and Mouse both reach for the flag, but Mouser falls off.

Toad: Yesss!

Mouser: No!


Toad: C’mon, Toadsworth!

Party Monkey + Diddy – Team Kong

Diddy: Ok, Yoshi’s House? That’s, uh… I think it’s on the center of the island.

Party: Pretty sure it’s the bottom.

Diddy, Team Kong: Uh, yeah. Never really been to Yoshi’s Island… Don’t know our way around. We got lost pretty easily.

BabyWario + Baby Mario – Team Baby

Baby Mario: There Yoshi! He have clue!

Yoshi: Here ya go!


Baby Wario: Detour!

Iggy K: That’s right! A detour is where you can choose two different paths. This one is between Yoshi’s Island and Yoshi’s Safari. In Yoshi’s Island, you get on a Yoshi and have to fight a random boss from Yoshi’s Island; it could be Burt the Bashful or Giga Baby Bowser. In Yoshi’s Safari you get a gun and have to fight Koopa Troopa’s robot from Yoshi’s Safari.

Baby Mario: Yoshi’s Island! Yoshi’s Island!

Baby Wario: Fine, fine.

Mouser + Tryclide – Team Froggy

Tryclide: That took you too long.

Mouser: Quiet, you! Just open the clue.


Tryclide: … Any idea where Yosssshi’sssss Houssssse isssss?

Mouser: No clue. I thought you had played Super Mario World?

Tryclide: Well, yeah, but…

Mouser: But what?!

Tryclide: It changessss throughout the sssssseriessssss…

Mouser facepalms.

Team DinoTeam Baby

Baby Mario: Uh oh! Yoshis here!


Purple: I’m tired of saddling. Let’s do Yoshi’s Safari.

Brown: K.

Baby Mario and Baby Wario climb up on a Yoshi.

Baby Wario: Who’s our opponent?

Tap-Tap the Red Nose falls from the sky and they find themselves in his castle.

Baby Mario: Mamamia!

Meanwhile, Koopa Troopa Sub rises up for Purple and Brown.

Purple: Ok, what’s first? We shoot its top.

Brown takes his gun and shoots at the top. Purple follows suit. The top explodes.

Shy Guy + Goomba – Team Tiny

Shy Guy: Here we are. Open the book… Oh, there we go. A roadblock!

Goomba: You do it. I don’t have arms.

Shy Guy: Ok. It’s our last chance.

Fawful + Midbus – Team Dark

Fawful, Team Dark: We were at the house of the Yoshiness like crust is on the bread of the sandwichness.

Midbus, Team Dark: The Yoshis were doing pretty well. So were the babies. But, no one else was in sight.

Mouser + Tryclide – Team Froggy

Mouser: Tryclide, I think we’re lost.

Tryclide looks around in a panic, but sees a suspicious sign.

Tryclide: Mousssser! Look!

Mouser: It’s… it’s a Fast Forward! We… we’re still in?!

Iggy K: That’s right, Mouser! A Fast Forward takes you straight to the goal. But it’s rather hard. In this one you must take on all of the Koopalings in order of their battles from Super Mario World, in the same way. One member will fight Iggy, then the other fights Morton, then the other fights Lemmy, then the other fights Ludwig, then the other fights Roy, then the other fights Wendy, then the other fights Larry, then they work together on Bowser (who is actually a False Bowser).

Mouser: Ok, we can do this. I’m weaker, so I’ll do Iggy.

Mouser warps himself to Iggy’s Castle and sees Iggy.

Team KoopaTeam Dark

*rip* *rip*

Bowser: Yoshi’s Island.

Midbus: Yoshi’s Safari.

Team DinoTeam Baby

Purple: Done!

Baby Wario: Done!

*rip* *rip*

Brown and Baby Mario: Pitstop.

The teams eye each other.

Purple: Get ready…

Baby Wario: Get set…

Brown: And…

Baby Mario: GO!

The teams rush off, with the Yoshis in front.

Baby Wario: Slowpoke! Hop on my back!

Baby Wario grabs Baby Mario and they dash ahead of the Yoshis.

Purple: No, no, no!!!

Brown: I got this!

Brown grabs Baby Mario with his tongue.

Baby Mario: Mamamia!

Brown and Purple dash to the pitstop.

Iggy K: Brown and Purple Yoshis?

Brown: Just say it, Iggy.

Purple: We know we’ve won.

Iggy K: You’re team number 1!!!

Brown and Purple: Yes! Wahoo!!!

Iggy K: As a prize, you win a free vacation to Yoshi’s Island at any time.

Brown: But… we live here.

Iggy K: Oh. Well, uh, here’s… a vacation to the Mushroom Kingdom instead.

Purple: Hoorah!

Brown, Team Dino: That was amazingly fun! I can’t wait until we do it again.

Purple, Team Dino: We’re gonna stay in the lead. For sure.

Baby Wario and Baby Mario walk up.

Iggy K: Baby Mario and Baby Wario? You’re team number 2!

Baby Wario: Oh well.

Baby Mario: Not-a bad, for a baby!

Iggy K: Do you think you still have a chance?

Baby Wario: Are you kidding me? Of course we do!

Baby Mario: We may be young, but we champs!

Mouser + Tryclide – Team Froggy

Mouser: I got him, Tryclide! Take on Morton!

Tryclide warps to Morton’s castle and roasts him with 5 fireballs.

Tryclide: Too eassssy…

Mouser: Ok, I’ll take Lemmy!

Mouser bombs all of the Lemmies, and hits the real one. They come out again and he does the same. After a third time, Lemmy is defeated.

Tryclide: Ok, my turn again!

Tryclide roasts Ludwig, but he hits Tryclide with his shell.

Tryclide: No fair! Ugh.

Tryclide bites Ludwig and flings him away.

Mouser: My turn on Roy!

Mouser bounces on Roy like a trampoline.

Mouser: Boy, are we good at this!

Tryclide: You tell it, bro!

Tryclide roasts all of the Wendies three times.

Mouser: Goin’ for Larry!

Mouser defeats Larry fairly.

Mouser: Too easy. Let’s take on False Bowser!

They go together to Bowser’s room.

Mouser: Ok. I’ll throw three bombs at him and you light them.

Tryclide: Sssssoundsssss good…

They do so twice and Bowser’s defeated. They’re warped to the Pitstop.

Mouser: Hi Iggy!

Iggy K: You seem happy.

Tryclide: Well, yeah…

Iggy K: For good reasons. You’re team number 3!

Mouser: Not the best we can do.

Tryclide: It’sssss the top three, though…

Mouser, Team Froggy: It was awesome! We’ll do better next time.

Tryclide, Team Froggy: We get along great. It’s the best partnership.

Shy Guy + Goomba – Team Tiny

Shy Guy has collected both flags.


Shy Guy: Oh, that’s easy. C’mon, Goom!

Goomba: Don’t call me that.

Shy Guy: Ok, ok. You don’t call me Shy.

Goomba: Fair enough.

Shy Guy and Goomba head to Yoshi’s House and see most of the other teams still there.

Goomba: Are we still in this?

Shy Guy: I guess we’ll have to see.


Goomba: Yoshi’s Island, for sure.

Team KoopaTeam Dark,Team Sky,Team Brooklyn,Team Rookie,Team Slime,Team Toad,Team Tiny

Mario, Team Brooklyn: Apparently, most teams had trouble finding Yoshi’s House.

Mario: Ok, we’re done!

Pauline: Let’s go then!

Mario + Pauline - Team Brooklyn

Mario: We made it, Iggy!

Pauline: Please give us good news.

Iggy K: Mario and Pauline… you’re team number 4.

Mario: Wow. I expected worse.

Pauline: But we did good.

Mario, Team Brooklyn: Not our best leg. We’ll do better.

Pauline, Team Brooklyn: Watch out, racers!

Team KoopaTeam Dark,Team Sky,Team Rookie,Team Slime,Team Toad,Team Tiny

Bowser: Done-o!

Fire Bro: Nice choice, King Bowser!

Midbus: We’re done too!

Birdo: Done!

Toad: Oh yeah!

The teams glare at each other.

Fawful: So. Who is of the speedierness?

Toad and Toadsworth: We are!

The Toads dash ahead, followed closely by Popple and Birdo, then Midbus and Fawful and finally Bowser and Fire Bro.

All: Oh yeah, we’re done!

Iggy K: Whoa! Ok. Toad and Toadsworth, you’re team number 5. Popple and Birdo, team number 6! Mibus and Fawful, number 7! Bowser and Fire Bro, team… huff…. huff… 8.

Toad, Team Toad: We did good enough.

Popple, Team Rookie: We’ll do better next time, see?

Fawful: We will be of the win!

Bowser: Watch out.

Salvo: Glorpaloo!

Phantamanta: Let’szzzzzz gozzzz thenzzzz.

Salvo and Phantamanta run to the pitstop.

Iggy K: Salvo and Phantamanta, you’re team number 9.

Party Monkey + Diddy – Team Kong

Diddy: We’re soooo lost.

Diddy, Team Kong: I think we were in last. It’s sad. First to last, all because of lack of traveling.

Party: Let’s just…

Party spies it.

Party: Aha! Toldja it was on the bottom!

Diddy: Let’s just go.

Team Sky,Team Tiny

Fly Guy: So.

Goomba: Down to us.

Shy Guy: Who’s gonna win first?

Paratroopa: We’re done!

Shy Guy: No, wait!

Fly Guy and Paratroopa dash to the pitstop.

Goomba: C’mon Shy Guy… we’re done.

Shy Guy: Wait! Goomba! I see Diddy and Party!

Goomba: Yeah, they’re at the pitstop.

Shy Guy: No! They’re… behind us!

Goomba: Well, what’re we waiting on then?!

Shy Guy and Goomba dash to the pitstop too.

Iggy K: Fly Guy and Paratroopa?  You’re team number 10!

Shy Guy and Goomba run up.

Iggy K: Shy Guy and Goomba? I’m sorry to announce… you’re team 11! You’re still in this!

Shy Guy: Woohoo! High-5

Goomba: I don’t have hands!

Shy Guy: Oh, right.

Shy Guy, Team Tiny: Too close. I can’t believe that Diddy and Party were behind us.

Goomba, Team Tiny: But we’re still in it. We’ll be first next time.

Party Monkey + Diddy – Team Kong

Diddy: Let’s do Safari.

Diddy and Party walk to the Koopa Sub. Diddy shoots the top off, then Party shoots his mouth. It explodes and they sadly walk to the Pitstop.

Party: Hi Iggy…

Iggy K: Sorry Diddy and Party… but you are last. You have been eliminated.

Diddy: Aw man.

Party, Team Kong: It’s hard enough to be eliminated. But the first eliminated…

Diddy, Team Kong: It’s sad. Too bad…

The credits roll…

To Be Continued...

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