The Kamek of the Opera - Editor's Cut Edition!

By Celestial

Act 5 - "Masquerade"

Celeste is now thoroughly confused and wondering if the whole incident that just occured was real or simply a dream she had. Perhaps she had fainted on stage, but could not remember. Celeste leaves the dressing room and sees Lemmy and Ludwig backstage looking through all the props.

Ludwig: What a success! The people thought that it was all part of the show! Just think of how much money we made! For all I care, the Phantom can stay! And as for Celeste-

Lemmy: Would you quit yapping, and help me look for them?! Aren't you the least bit worried?

Ludwig: Why should I be?

Lemmy: 'Cause if we don't find them, there will be no more SHOWS!

Ludwig: Hmm... oh yes. That is BAD!

Ludwig begins frantically looking about, and spots Celeste watching them.

Ludwig: Oh look, I found her!

Lemmy: What?! Be serious... huh? CELESTE!

Ludwig: >:p Nyah, I told you!

Lemmy shoves Ludwig out of the way and hops on his ball so that he can roll over to Celeste at her eye level. Or as close as possible.

Lemmy: What happened? Where in the world have you been?

Celeste: I'm not sure... I woke up in the dressing room, I think.

Ludwig gets up from Lemmy shoving him and runs over to Celeste, kicking Lemmy's ball from under him and sending Lemmy flying into a box of props.

<Editor's Cut: Lemmy misses the box and ends up knocking down all the scenery.>

Ludwig: Princess Celeste! You did marvelous! YOU! You must be our new Diva!

Celeste: Oh... I... Thank you, but-

Ludwig: NO BUTS! We're to have a celebration in YOUR name! King Nimbus was delighted! Everyone LOVED you!

Celeste looks about nervously, than grins ^_^

Celeste: Oh, well... Thank you...

Lemmy gets out of the props angrily and grabs his ball and rolls over to Celeste with a note.

Lemmy: That reminds me. Those wierdo Mario Brothers wanted to give you this.

Lemmy rolls over to Celeste, "accidentally" rolling over Ludwig's toe.

Lemmy: Here ya go.

Ludwig: Watch where you're going!

Ludwig angrily "accidentally" pops Lemmy's ball.

Ludwig: OOOPSSS!

Lemmy smacks Ludwig over the head.

Lemmy: OOOPSS!

Ludwig and Lemmy start pounding on each other.

Ludwig and Lemmy: OOOPPSS! TERRIBLY SORRY! WHOOPS! Didn't mean to!

Celeste rolls her eyes and starts walking towards the door.

Celeste: I'm going home.

Ludwig and Lemmy: (stop in mid beatdown) WAIT!

Ludwig: We have decided that you are to be our next Diva! We invite you a free stay upstairs in our grand guest room!

Lemmy: (nodding) We'll pay you handsomely for the next Opera coming up. It's a romance!

Celeste: (becoming bubbly) A ROMANCE?! Tee hee! And me the lead singer? (blushes) Oh how wonderful! Sure, I'll stay.

Ludwig: And in honor of our first huge success, let us have a grand masquerade ball! Here, at the Opera house reception hall! We'll only have to dock a few more Koopas' pay...

Lemmy groans and hands Celeste the note he was holding.

Lemmy: I'm probablly going to have to go help him, so I'll see you later. The repairmen over there will show you to your room. See ya!

Lemmy and Ludwig run off to the reception hall, leaving Celeste alone with the repairmen, Morton.

Morton: Well, I'll be showing you to your room, your suite, your place of stay, your sanccctttuarrryy! Say, do you have any drinks on ya?

Celeste: Drinks? No. There's a soda machine in the lobby.

Morton looks at Celeste with glazed eyes, for once speechless.

Morton: Um...

Celeste: Aren't you going to show me to my room?

<Editor's Cut: Morton, drunk, faints.>

Morton: Yes of course! Right away! Here we go! So, do you like it here so far? Heard about the Phantom yet? Lots of wierd rumors, you know, like that one that he's a ghost, or that one that his face is half burnt off by acid-

Celeste: What a ridiculous rumor!

Morton: WAIT! I'm not finished! And then there is the one that he is actually a Boo Buddy that hates Opera! And then there's the one about... well, the things he does! Ever heard the other chorus girls whispering about "Keep your hands at the level of your eyes?"

Celeste: No... Why do that?

Morton: Well, you see... It's a rumor about the Phantom. When the theatre was first made by Ludwig and his Troopa Koop, they had a very good Diva by the name of Big Bertha. Well, what happened to her no one is sure, but they found her hung up by the rafters! All hung up and tied up and strung!


Morton: Well, you see, the reason they say to "Keep your hands at the level of your eyes" is because of the Phantom's traps. if you were to keep your hands up, the noose would not choke you but you would be able to catch it in your hand. You see? Interesting, huh?

Celeste: .... I... I don't think the Phantom would do that. I have this feeling that he's a good person.

Morton: Well, whatever! Here's your room. I hope you enjoy and you have a comfortable night's sleep and stuff, and that the Phantom doesn't get you like all the other Divas, and I'm going to find a drink so I'll see you later! Adios! Good bye! Farewell! Abientot! Chow! Tata! Au rev-

Celeste slams the door in Morton's face, trying to drown out his unending speech.

Celeste: What a ridiculous rumor! Kamek wouldn't do that! Would he? Well... Let's see what this letter is about.

Celeste opens the letter and blushes.

Celeste: It's from Mario!

Dear Princess Celeste,

It's been so long since we've last seen each other. I would be ever so grateful to see you once again! When can I see you? Please meet me at the roof of the Opera house tommorrow at 6pm.

-Mario Mario

PS- I loved your show!

<Editor's Cut: Celeste: NOOOOOOO!>

Celeste: WOW! A letter from Mario! ~^_^~ Tee hee! Oh wow! I'll have to go see him! I can't wait!

Celeste falls asleep in her comfy bed and awakens to the hustle and bustle of the Opera house. She sees Koopa Troopas running about preparing decorations, calling to reserve special guest appearances, costumes, and musicians, and the famous Chef Torte is preparing one of his gigantic cakes. In the center of this all is Ludwig demanding things left and right.


Koopa Troopa: Yes sir. Sorry sir.

Ludwig: That punch bowl doesn't have a fountain?! I want one with a fountain and more pinapple rings!

King Koopa comes out of the crowd with a long scroll like list and a dozen angry Magikoopas and Hammer Brothers.

Hammer Bro 1: Hey!

Hammer Bro 2: What's the deal, kid?

Magikoopa 1: Is this really all necessary?

Magikoopa 2: Our salaries are going down faster than donut lifts, thanks to you and this STUPID party!

Ludwig: Relax guys! King Dad makes it up to you in room and board! Imagine having to live with those miserable Mushroom folk! Don't you have anything on your minds but yourselves? Don't you love your KING?!

King Koopa: Hmm... Yeah... You don't doubt me, do you, guys?

Hammer Bro 2: No, of course not, your Koopaness!

Magikoopa 1: It's just that-

Ludwig: All you think about is your paycheck!

Magikoopa 2: No no, It's because my text book is getting-

King Koopa: Well, how about if I let you attend this masquerade? Only the elite of the Kingdoms are coming, and since you are my favorite minions... um... what were your names again? Anyway, since you are my favorites, oh yeah, don't tell anyone else, this is just between us, here are some FREE tickets to the ball.

Hammer Brothers: OH WOW! Thanks Boss!

Magikoopas: Thank you your Excellency! Perhaps we will be able to discuss our views on the Pythagrium Theorom...

King Koopa: (pushing the minions out the door) Well, now that that's taken care of... Ludwig! What did I tell you about expenses?! If my minions weren't so stupid they all would have turned on me when this place was first built! Do you really need-

King Koopa looks at the ice sculpture of "Ludwig the Great" and gawks.


Ludwig: Well, I had to make mine tiny in comparison to yours, King Dad, as a size comparison to the greatness and growing greatness of the Koopa Kingdom. See?

The Troopas unveil a giant King Koopa ice statue that stands about 15 feet tall.

King Koopa: Oh... I see... Well then... heh... Keep up the good work, son!

Grinning evily, King Koopa exits the theatre, humming the tune "Masquerade" from the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack.

Celeste: So, when is the party going to be, Ludwig?

Ludwig: At precisely 8:30 tonight! Hmm... I don't suppose you've seen Lemmy? He was supposed to be here an hour ago!

Celeste: No, I haven't. I'll go look for him.

Celeste walks out into the lobby and doesn't see Lemmy. She then goes outside and roams about the courtyard.

Celeste: Lemmy? You there? <sigh> Who am I kidding? I'm not REALLY looking for Lemmy! Oh Phantom! Where have you gone? Have you lost your interest in me? Why did you leave me so suddenly? Was it just a dream?

Celeste looks solemnly into the mist coating the Opera house with a mysterious veil.

Celeste: (singing) You were once my one companion, you we're all that mattered, you we're a friend and phantom! Then my world was shattered! Wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near! Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here! Wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would! Dreaming of you won't help me to do all that you dreamed I could!

Celeste looks back at the Opera house.

Celeste: Passing bells, and sculpted statues, seemed for you the wrong companions, you were warm and gentle!

Celeste walks by the ice statues.

Celeste: Too many years, fighting back tears! Why can't the past just die?

Celeste crumples up her letter from Mario.

Celeste: Wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say good-bye! Try to forgive! Teach me to live! Give me the strength to sing! No more memories! No more silenties! no more gazing across the misty fields!

Celeste walks away from the courtyard back in to the Opera house.

Celeste: I have to stay here with you! But Mario-

Mario: Yes?

<Editor's Cut: Mario: ..................... Yes?>

Celeste: OH! You're early! What are you doing here?

Mario: Well, I was hoping to see you. I-a heard there was a big masquerade party tonight. Would you like to be my-a date, princess?

Celeste: Oh really?! Whatever happened to Peach? >:|

Mario: Celeste, that was-a because I thought I'd never see you again. I had no idea that you were cousins. Besides, I-a think Luigi and the Princess have-a something going on. ^_^

Celeste: I... I'd love to be your date tonight! But how will I know who you are? We'll all be in masquerade.

Mario: Why, we'll-a be together, of course. You-a don't plan on staying in  this Opera house all day, do you? Mama mia!

Celeste: I... can't leave... here...

Mario: Huh? Why not?

Celeste: I... I can't. I'll meet you at the party. I'm sure we'll be able to recognize each other.

Celeste runs off into the Opera house and past Lemmy carrying a dozen or so invitations.

Lemmy: Celeste, are you crying?! Hello? Hmm...

Lemmy watches Celeste dissapear into the dressing room.

Lemmy: Hmm, well that was odd! Has anyone seen Ludwig?

That night, the ballroom is like a dream sequence. A large crystal chandelier is now the centerpiece of the room, and the two ice statues stand proudly by the crystal punch fountain bowl. All sorts of Mushroom folk and Koopa folk alike are chatting away as Toadofsky and his symphonic orchestra play some fitting music. As Celeste enters in a sparkly blue ball room dress, she is surprised to recieve applause by most of the attendants of the party. She blushes, but seems preoccupied in looking for a particular guest.

Masked Man 1: Hello Celeste. A pleasure to meet you!

Celeste: Have you seen Mario?

Masked Man 2: Did somebody say Mario? He's the guy in the Koopa costume!

Celeste: Oh! Hmm... ^_^ Thanks!

Celeste now looks about for him and sees a man in all black Tux with a masquerade mask on his eyes and a top hat, with a long black cape. The whole outfit is very Tuxedo Mask reminiscent.

Black Man: Celeste, whomever are you looking for?

Celeste: Oh, I'm looking for Mario. You wouldn't happen to have seen him, would you?

Black Man: (scowling) Why... Whyever would you be looking for him?

Celeste: He's my date for tonight. OR at least he said he'd be my date tonight. Probablly stood me up again! Hmph!

Black Man: Ohhh... I'm so sorry... Perhaps if I were to take your hand for the first dance, madame? Would that help me to see your beautiful smile once more?

Celeste: Oh, well... hee hee... Sure!

The two dance while Lemmy and Ludwig and King Koopa all look over the dance floor proudly. It's packed and they've recieved more than enough donations to pay back most of there troops.

King Koopa: (grinning smugly) Sorry I ever doubted you, son.

Ludwig: Oh father, don't even think about the past. Now is a time to bask in the gloriousness that is this theatre!

Lemmy: Mounsier Ludwig... ( raising his glass to cheer)

Ludwig: Mounsier Lemmy... (raising his glass as well)

King Koopa: Well Ludwig, what a splendid party!

Ludwig: A prolouge to a bright new year!

Lemmy: Quite a night, I'm impressed!

Ludwig: Well, one does one's best...

All 3: Here's to us!

Lemmy: (laughing to himself) I must say all the same it is a shame that Phantom fellow isn't here!

Chorus: MASQUERADE! Paper faces on parade! Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a diffrent shade! Masquerade! Look around, there's another mask behind you! Some  are Mushroom, some are reptile, have some punch, doesn't matter, see the king, see the priest, feed on geese, faces rouge, face of beast, FACES! Take your turn, take a ride on the MERRY GO ROUND! Or see the human race!

Wonderul games similar to those in Mario Party are being played, and everyone is singing and dancing.

Chorus: Flying Goomba! Paratroopa! Curl of lips!

Morton: Spoiled rum?

Gambler: Ace of hearts?

Server: Face of Clam?

Mario looks around as he is offered odd games to play  and food not to his liking, and just smiles and shakes his head, looking for Celeste.

Chorus: FACES! Drink it in, drink it up, till you drown in the light, in the sound!

Ladies: But can you name the face?

Chorus: MASQUERADE! Seeing devils dressed in red! MASQUERADE! Take your fill,  let the spectacle astound you! MASQUERADE! Burning Blarrg's turning red! Masquerade! Stop and stare, let the sea of smiles surround you!

Whispering Chorus: Masquerade! Seemingly shadows, breathing life! Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you!

Chorus: MASQUERADE! Empty faces baring eyes!

Mario now spots Celeste dancing with the strange masked man, and makes his way over.

Chorus: MASQUERADE! Run and hide, or let whoever you want persue you!

Mario makes his way to Celeste, asking to cut in. Celeste immediately recognizes the ridiculous costume and gladly accepts Mario's hand. The masked man watches angrily and dissapears into the crowd.

A small crowd about Ludwig is marveling about how posh the theatre has become and he is gobbling up the compiments.

<Editor's Cut: The crowd gathers around the wrong partier...>

Queen Nimbus: What a night!

Valentina: What a crowd!

Lemmy: Makes you glad!

Ludwig: Makes you proud, of all the creme de la creme!

Valentina: Watching us, watching them!

Princess Peach: And to think no one's seen that Phantom since that night!

Lemmy: What a relieve!

Queen Nimbus: Of delight!

Ludwi and Lemmy: Of this wonderful peace!

Valentina and Queen Nimbus: And we can breathe at last!

Valentina: No more ghost!

Queen Nimbus: No more ghost!

Queen Nimbus: Here's a Ham!

Lemmy: Here's a toast!

King Koopa: To a prosperous year!

Ludwig: To the new chandelier!

Queen Nimbus: Your idea? How marvelous!

Princess Peach: What a change!

Lemmy: And what a blessed release!

Ludwig: And what a Masquerade!

As they are all marveling, the scene quickly switches over to Celeste as she is whispering to Mario, who is a little confused.

Celeste: Think of it, a secret engagement, look! Your future bride! Just think of it!

Mario: Why is it secret? What have we to hide?

Celeste: Please let's not fight!

Mario: Christine, you're free.

Celeste: Wait 'til the time is right.

Mario: When will that be? It's an engagement, not a crime! Celeste, what-a are you afraid of?

Celeste: Let's not argue! Please pretend...

Mario: Yes, let's not argue.

Celeste: You will...

Mario: I only hope I will...

Together: Understand in time!

Celeste and Mario dance about while singing to each other. The man that was shrouded in masquerade before hides in a corrider, now that he has shrunk back to his regular height, and is revealed to be the Phantom, Kamek. Angrily, he realizes what is going on, and dissapears into the shadows.

Chorus: MASQUERADE! Paper faces on parade! Masquerade! Hide your face so the world will never find you! Masquerade! Every face a diffrent shade! Turn around, there's another mask behind you! MASQUERADE! Dancing devils all in red! MASQUERADE! Look around, let the sea of smiles surround you! MASQUERADE! Pretty bells ringing round! MASQUERADE! Everything is looking grand, look around, let the spectacle astound you!

As the song ends, Kamek is hovering over the new chandelier, above the dance floor. He angrily cuts it, making sure Celeste is not under it first, and as it crashes to the floor the guests scream and point to where he is. They only spot the caped figuire for a second before he dissapears once again.

Ludwig: AHHHH! NO! NOT THE CHANDELEIR! Not... My party!

The people, muttering and scared, all break up and leave one by one. Celeste, afraid for Mario, tells him to leave, and walks off to her corriders, upset. Mario leaves, and after Bowser yells some profanities and leaves, Lemmy and Ludwig are left alone.

Ludwig: My party... My Masquerade!

Lemmy: I don't understand! We did as he wished. We let Celeste sing. Why does he continue to haunt us?

Act 7 - "Past the Point of No Return"

<Editor's Cut: The whole cast comes out and does some weird song and dance routine, and that is Act 6.>

<Editor's Cut: Act 6 is suddenly thrown in, obviously very hastily.>

Act 6 - "Enter the Detective"

Celeste sits in her room, frightened and confused.

Celeste: Why did he do that? Why would Kamek-

Kamek: Me? I should be asking you! Why, Celeste? Why?

Celeste looks around.

Celeste: Kamek? Is that you?! Where are you? Why what? Please, let me see you once more!

Kamek appears behind Celeste and tugs on her dress. She swivels around and crouches down to his level.

Celeste: Kamek, why did you-

Kamek: How DARE you spend time with that plumber when you promised yourself to me?!

Celeste: I promised to stay here as your pupil, not your slave!

Kamek: Such harsh words. I only expect you not to give your love to another. It's not like I'm forcing you to do work or beating you or any of that stuff Koopa does!

Celeste: You can't expect a person to not love! Why don't you want me to like anyone, anyway?

Kamek: Because I... You... You don't even know? You haven't figured out that I... I luh... like.. I mean... luh...

Kamek opens his mouth to finish his sentence, then looks into Celeste's innocent, blinking eyes.

Kamek: ARGGHH! YOU- You still only see me as some little turtle, don't you?!

Celeste: Oh no no! I know! You're a writer, a teacher, a poet, a singer, a mentor, a composer-

Kamek: STOP!

The room falls silent and Kamek clutches his forehead, aggrivated. He then pulls a white rose from his robes.

Kamek: But... (handing the rose to Celeste) Do you like me for who I am?

Celeste takes the rose and smiles brightly.

Celeste: Of course I do!

Kamek: Really?

Celeste: You're a great friend for teaching me to sing and all, and you're really nice!

Kamek: F- F- Friend?! NO! I meant-

Again Kamek's sentence is interupted, this time by the sound of a knock at the door.

Kamek: Rats! They're on to me. I must bid you good bye, Celeste. I will see you soon.

Kamek dissapears, leaving Celeste alone and looking thoroughly confused. She walks over and opens the door.

Larry: Good evening madame! Allow me to introduce myself. I am Larry Koopa, the detective of the KoopaTroop Police headquarters, division 33645983496.

Celeste: Oh?

Larry: And I've heard of some disturbing incidents occuring here that need to be taken care of!

Celeste: What do you mean?

Larry: The missing Divas, some accidental deaths, AND the reoccurance of this so called Phantom of the Opera.

Celeste: Yes. What about them? Why do you wish to speak to me about them, though?

Larry: Well, I find it a little hard to believe that this so called "Phantom" really asked to have you sing and crushed all the other Divas. After all, no one has actually seen the Phantom face to face... and nothing's ever happened to you as of yet!

Celeste: Well, that is kind of weird, isn't it?

Larry: Yes. Yes it is. Perhaps this Phantom is a total fake! Perhaps somebody set up an elaborate scheme so that he, or SHE, could get the main role in the Opera coming up!

Celeste: Huh? You... You're accusing me of... ?

Larry: Why don't you come down with me to the castle dungeon for some questioning? Let's go.

Larry cuffs Celeste.

Celeste: NO! I didn't! You don't understand!


Larry: Huh? What? Who? Who's there?!

Kamek: I am very real indeed, detective, so let's see how good you are at spying. Catch me, if you can!

The Phantom figure appears in the open doorway, mere feet before Larry. He then leaps off the upstairs rail and disappears. Larry dashes after him down the stairs.

Larry: Halt! You're under arrest!

Celeste watches from the upstairs rail.

Celeste: Oh! I have to do something! I can't let him catch Kamek-

Kamek: He can't catch me.

Celeste: KA- (mmph)

Kamek: (covering her mouth) Shh! He'll hear you! Meet me later tonight at midnight on stage behind the curtain. Bring no one else!

Celeste: (nodding) Of course. You'll tell me what's going on?

Kamek: Yes... later. I'm sorry it has to be like this. I wish I could do so much more for you..

Kamek dissapears with a flash of his wand and Celeste turns her head to look back over the rail, where Larry is asking Lemmy if he has spotted the Phantom.

Lemmy: No, sorry. I was just on my way to set up the stage for the next Opera. Why? Did you see him?

Larry: Saw him? Why he was THIS close to my face!

Larry puts his claws together so that there is about a millimiter of space between them.

Lemmy: Really? Nobody's ever seen him that close before! You really are a good detective!

Ludwig: Only the best for my theatre! Thank you for coming, detective.

Ludwig enters wearing a composer's outfit and holding sheets of music.

Ludwig: This next Opera will not be ruined by this two-bit stage hog. No more crashing the stage, Phantom! Ha ha!

The three laugh together, and continue boasting. Later on in the day, Celeste is practicing for the Opera.

Lemmy: Good job, Celeste. Take five, alright? I'm going to get a soda.

Celeste: Alright. Thanks. I think I will too.

Celeste leaves the stage and goes into the lobby to get a drink, where she spots Mario waiting with a dozen Fire Flowers.

Mario: Celeste! It's-a so good to see you! I-a got you these...

Celeste: Oh! Thank you, Mario. You... shouldn't have.

Celeste looks around, wondering if Kamek is watching.

Mario: Hm? Oh, it-a was no trouble for me! What's-a wrong? You seem troubled.

Celeste: I'm just... very afraid of this place...  I mean... With all the rumors and all!

Mario: Oh yeah. Don't-a you worry a bit! I hear that detective Larry is on the case. He always gets his man... err, Mushroom... Koopa... Phantom... whatever! Ha ha!

Celeste: (frowing and muttering to herself) That's what I'm afraid of...

Mario: What did you say?

Celeste: Oh nothing. So how's my cousin, Princess Peach?

Mario: Ahh... She's-a busy ruling and stuff. She said she'd-a come to visit for the first showing of the Opera you'll-a be in so she could show her support. I'll-a be there too, of course! :o{D

Celeste: Thanks Mario! You're so sweet. ^_^

Act 7 - "Past the Point of No Return"

Mario bids Celeste good-bye as Celeste returns to finish practicing for the next day's Opera. Iggy and Roy have been hired to be the hero and anti-hero of the play.

Celeste: Past the Point of No Return...

Iggy: Wait a sec! I don't get this next line! I mean, what sort of feeling am I supposed to have here?

Lemmy: Iggy! It's simple! You are the tragic anti-hero-

Iggy: And I'm supposed to be in love with this girl, right, but-

Lemmy: You don't understand what your emotions should be. right?

Iggy: Exactly.

Lemmy: Well, you are desperately trying to make her love you, even though-

Iggy: She's already in love with the Opera's hero. I know!

Lemmy: I KNOW YOU KNOW! But that's beside the point. Basically, you're trying to seduce her, ok?

Iggy: Oh, alright.

Celeste: How do you two do that?

Lemmy: Do-

Iggy: What?

Celeste: O_o Umm... Never mind...

The actors continue practicing for a long while, and Lemmy is tired.

Lemmy: Alright, I want you two to practice your roles in your minds one last time before you go to bed tonight. Good luck, and, um, nobody break a leg, ok? Ha ha!

Roy: HEY! Wait a second, Shrimp! How much am I getting paid for this nut job?

Lemmy: I don't know. Ask Ludwig! We're all being forced to work here to earn our allowances, thanks to him!

Roy: Yeah, well, I'm gonna pound his face in! (walks off towards the door) I can't believe I got stuck with this girly Opera!

Iggy: (hopping off stage) I kinda like it!

Roy: SHADDUP! Who asked you?

Iggy: Sorry.

Larry suddenly pops up from the props box.

Larry: SO! You say you two are unhappy with having to work here! That makes you both suspects!

Lemmy: WHAT?!

Roy: Suspects?!

Larry: It's quite elementary. Someone here isn't happy with this Opera house, and has decided to make everyone believe it is haunted so that it will be closed down! The whole Phantom incidents are merely a decoy by one of you, trying to convince people he is real!

Roy: (raising his fist to pound Larry) Here's what I think of your suspects list, bro!

Larry: ACK! You can't hit me! I'm with the Bureau of Federal-

Roy smashes his fist into Larry's head and knocks him unconcious.

Roy: That's the most ridiculous theory I've ever heard! He deserved a smack for that one. Come on. Let's go.

Lemmy, Iggy, Roy, and Celeste all leave for their quarters, leaving the annoying detective lying on the theatre floor. A shadowy figure appears and in an instant, Larry is gone.

Figure: I'm sorry, detective, but you were actually on the right track. How sad your game ends now.

Celeste enters her room and begins brushing her hair and going over her lines. She is about to lie down when she realizes that she forgot to go see Kamek, as he had requested. Meanwhile, Kamek is watching
the repairman onstage, and appears behind him with a proposal.

Kamek: I see you're trying to fix that trap door. I wouldn't do that if I were you...

Morton: Huh? What? Who's there?

Kamek appears in his Phantom outfit, and taps Morton on the shoulder.

Morton: AHHHH!! You- You're that Phantom!

Kamek: Shh! Listen to me! If you do not fix that trap, but instead put this even looser board on top, I will reward you with the finest Ale in all of Mushroom Land.

Morton: You mean it? I can have drinkies?! Do I get a lot or a little? How much do I get? And all I have to do is switch these boards? Really?! How do I know you're not tricking me?

Kamek: Quite simple, young Koopaling. If you do not do as I say, don't expect to live long. And if you do, you will find I am a Koopa of my word.

Morton: Huh? Live long? *gulp* What do you mean live long? Ah ha  ha... You're joking, right?

Kamek stares blankly at Morton.

Morton: How about I start working on that right now! You can count on me!

Kamek: And another thing. You must tell no one of our meeting!

Morton: (banging away at floor boards) Oh, well yes, of course, like I said, you can count on me! I'm your main man, ready to help and ready to serve. I deinitely know how to keep a secret! You won't hear a word from me! Not a-

Kamek: Why do I find that hard to believe? Remember, you're life is at stake here.

Kamek dissapears into the shadows, leaving Morton alone.

Morton: Hmm... Well that went well. Now, who am I going to talk to? Gosh, it sure does get lonely here.

Morton continues ranting to himself while trying to fix up the trap door. Celeste runs up to the stage and sees only Morton and cringes.

Celeste: What're you doing here?!

Morton: I'm fixing the stage for the Phant-uhmmm... I mean, what are YOU doing here?!

Celeste: I came to see Kamehhheeeehhh... heh heh... if I left my stuff here!

Celeste looks around for anything that she could claim as hers and, seeing nothing, grins nervously.

Celeste: Well, I guess not! So... How long are you going to be here? Heh...

Morton: All night.

Celeste frowns and looks around, trying to think of a way to let the  Phantom know she didn't forget their meeting.

Celeste: Well, then... I GUESS I'LL GO THEN!

Morton: What are you yelling about?! I can HEAR YOU!

Celeste: Oh, sorry. I'm sure anyone in THIS THEATRE can HEAR ME!

Morton's head rattles and he glares at her again.

Celeste: I'm just so used to using my stage voice. ah ha ha...

Morton: Well, that's interesting, but I really have to work on this here trap door or the Phantom will kill me! I mean... whoops! The alchohol's really getting to me. I meant to say that Lemmy would kill me, but everyone's talking about the Phantom lately so that was on my mind.

Celeste: Yeah. Me too. (looking at her watch, Celeste whispers to herself) I guess I missed him. (aloud) Well, I guess I'll GO NOW!!

Celeste leaves, stopping at the door of her room, seeing a small note, at the foot of the door, and a white rose. @>\-----

Celeste: Oh! Another letter from Mario?

She picks up the note and stares it awkwardly.

Celeste: Sorry I missed you. I'll see you tommorrow, at your grand performance? It's not signed... Who's it from? Huh! Oh well... I need to get some sleep.

The next morning the theatre is preparing to open. Lemmy, walking on the stage to open the curtain, trips over Morton, who is sleeping on the stage floor.

Lemmy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING sleeping on the stage floor, you idiot?! Get up!

Morton: Well, I'd gladly get up or remove myself or replace myself with the barren floor, dear brother, younger sibling, "Mr. Almighty Director Sir!" But, you're lying on top of me! ~_~

Grumbling, Lemmy gets off of Morton and rubs his ankle.

Lemmy: Ouch! Now, are you gonna tell me WHAT you're doing SLEEPING on the stage floor on the DAY of the Opera!?! If one of the actors had hurt themselves...

Morton: Sorry, I'm really sorry, Lemmy, it's just that the Phan- Fan... that was broken in the dining room reminded me of the broken trap door here, and I had to repair it, fix it, make it work, and make it sturdy, and reliable and-

Lemmy: OK! Get to the point!

Morton: Well, I think I fell asleep. Or maybe I dozed off. Or just closed my eyes to rest or something and I guess that would be it, but you never know! I could have gone into a catatonic state and then passed out. Their are rumors about that happening, you know. Why, I've heard that the one particular disease, falling asleep after being catatonic, is the second rarest disease, besides spontaneous combustion!

Lemmy: (looking at Morton, hopefully) Well, miracles do happen...

Morton: Do you wanna know who I heard that from? Top medical-

Lemmy: NO! Shut up! Get out! I have a performance to put on today, or I don't get my allowance, and I really need it to get a new ball, 'cause Ludwig popped my old one!

Morton: Oh well, that is so sad, upsetting, and just terrible and awful and-


Lemmy, irritated, kicks Morton off stage.

Lemmy: Why am I never fully on my family's side? Why can't my family be normal?! I almost wish the Phantom would just wreck this place already!

Iggy: Hi Lemmy, I see you're feeling-

Lemmy:  A little irritated? (sarcastically) How'd ya guess?

Iggy: Yep. well you're not alone.

Lemmy: But I thought you said you liked it here!

Iggy: I did! Until King Dad told me and Roy that if we don't go sell these tickets that our allowances would be cut in half.

Lemmy: Selling tickets-

Iggy: Isn't so bad. It's just that Roy-

Lemmy: Keeps beating you up?

Iggy: Yep.

Lemmy: I see.

Celeste: Good morning everyone! Ready to get this show on the road?

Lemmy: Sure am! Let's get this over with! Everyone get in costume, and let's rehearse one last time before the stage set-up.

Roy storms in and drags Iggy in the men's dressing room with him, while Celeste heads to the women's. Lemmy waits patiently on the stage, checking on the Goombas to make sure they have the lighting
correct. In the men's dressing room, Iggy and Roy are getting ready. Roy turns his back on Iggy to fix his hat, and hears a strange muffled sound and a crash. When he turns around to see what the noise is, he sees what looks like Iggy in his costume. The costume consists of a long red cloak and a skull face for a mask.

Roy: Hey, nice job on hiding your dorky hair, dweeboid!

Iggy: ...

Roy: Hey, I'm talking to you, pencil neck!

Iggy walks out of the dressing room, not speaking to Roy, and stands before Lemmy.

Lemmy: Well, the costume fits you much better than it did yesterday. Did you get Clawdia to fix it?

Iggy nods.

Lemmy: Great.

Celeste walks out, in her sparkly blue Opera dress, looking her loveliest. Iggy jumps into her arms and hugs her.

Celeste: Um... Iggy... What are you doing?

Celeste yanks Iggy off of her and places him on the floor, and walks over to Lemmy.

Celeste: Does this look ok?

Lemmy: Yeah, you look great. All of you look great! Today's gonna be a big hit! I just know it!

Iggy: (muttering to himself) Oh, this show is going to be the greatest one this Opera house has ever seen..

As the day continues, the stage is set, the curtain is closed, and the actors scurry about backstage. People are beginning to fill the seats as the orchestra plays some music for those who are early. Mario and Luigi, again, have balcony seats, this time accompanying Princess Toadstool and Toad.

Peach: I hope my cousin does well. This happens to be her dream, you know.

Mario: Yes, I-a know she'll do great! She'-a so wonderful...

Peach: (sadly to herself) Oh Mario... You used to shower me with all your attention. Maybe if I had shown you I liked you more... :sniff sniff:

Mario: Something-a wrong, Princess?

Peach: No, I'm just... so happy with my cousin. So... proud...

The Princess starts crying uncontrollably on Luigi's shoulder.

Luigi: (thinking to himself) Mama mia! I-a think she likes me! Yaaahhoooo!

The play begins and Celeste makes the first opening song with no problems. Roy enters, as the hero and goes into battle on stage and is never seen again. Celeste, the heroine, is caught by the evil anti-hero, who is madly in love with her. Everyone listens closely to the next act, the voice of the anti-hero being MUCH
better than expected.

Lemmy- Wow! Iggy must've really practiced A LOT for this show! I know he said he was enjoying himself, but I've never heard him sing so well in all my life!

Ludwig: Shush! This is the Opera's greatest act! Listen!

*Sung to the tune of "Past the Point of No Return*

Iggy: You have come here, in pursuit of your deepest urge, in pursuit of that wish, which 'til now has been silent! Silent! I have brought you, that our passions may fuse and merge! In your mind you've already succombed to me, drop your defenses, completely succomb to me! Now you are here with me, no second thoughts! You've decided! Decided...

Celeste becomes nervous, becoming aware that this masked man might not be Iggy. The voice seems much too deep, and with much more feeling.

Iggy: Past the Point of No Return! No backward glances! The games we've played till now are at an end!

Iggy pulls out a familiar looking white rose and dances around Celeste mysteriously.

Iggy: Past all thought of if or when, no use resisting, abondon thought, and let the dream descend! What raging fire shall flood the soul? What rich desire unlocks it door? What sweet seduction lies before us?

Celeste blushes as the figure comes closer to her.

Iggy: Past the Point of No Return! The final threshold! What romance and secrets will we learn? Beyond the Point of No Return!

Celeste: (flustered, quickly tries to remember her lines) You have... brought me, to that moment where words are dry, to that moment where speech dissapears into silence! Silence!

Celeste sees the rose and falls silent for a second. She then suspiciously continues singing.

Celeste: I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why! In my mind I've already imagined our bodies entwined and defenseless and silent, and now I am here with you, no second thoughts, I've decided! Decided...

Celeste begins to forget she's acting at all. To her this scene is all to real. She sings to the anti-hero almost hypnotized.

Celeste: Past the Point of No Return, no going back now! Our passions have now at last begun! Past the thought of right or wrong, one final question- How long should we to wait 'til we are one? When will the blood begin to race? What shall rise the skin to bloom? When will the flames of lust consume us?

Together: Past the Point of No Return, the final threshold! The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn! We've passed the Point of Noooo Retuuuurrrrnn!

Celeste, still looking over at the mysterious actor, forgets she is supposed to turn around to greet the hero of the Opera. Roy comes on and raises one arm dramatically.

Roy: Say you'll share with me, one love, one life time! Lead me, save me, from my solitude! Say you'll want me with you here beside you! ANYWHERE you go let me go to! Princess,.. That's all I ask of!

Suddenly Iggy snaps his fingers and appears as the Phantom. He grabs Celeste and pulls the trap door lever, wich opens the loose trap door, and reveals falling from the ceiling a bunch of Toadies, which swarm about the audience, and tied up by their feet and hanging upside down with gags in their mouths are all the
missing Divas, Iggy, the detective, and the repairman. Kamek dissapears under the trap door, dragging Celeste with him.

Celeste: (screaming) IIIIIIEEEEEEAAAA!

The crowds all start pointing and talking very loudly.

Queen Nimbus: What is it?! (pointing to the stage)

Valentina: What has happened?!



Ludwig: We're ruined, King Dad! Ruined!

Bowser runs up to the stage and to his most precious daughter, Wendy, and his son, Larry, and rips off their gags.

Bowser: KIDS! You're alive! Thank goodness!

Wendy: No time, Dad! Where's Mario?! He's the only one who can stop this mad man!

Bowser: What?! Are you certain? How can you be sure of this?

Wendy: I'll tell you on the way. Go get Mario, Daddddyyy!

Bowser: Grr! I'm really starting to get tired of these Fun Fic episodes of me teaming up with him! MARIO!

Mario taps Bowser on the shoulder.

Mario: I'm-a two steps ahead of ya, Koopa. What is it Wendy?

Wendy: Come with me. Come with me or we'll be too late!

Susan interrupts everyone hysterically.

Susan: Why?! (sobbing to Ludwig) Why did YOU tell me to come here?!

<Editor's Cut: When Susan finds out she's not getting paid, she, er, messes up the stage.>

Mario: (to Wendy) But can I trust you?

Wendy: Yes. But remember, your hand at the level of your eye!

Mario: But why?

Wendy: Why? You'll see!

Peach: I'll go too!

Wendy: No Peach, you stay here. Now come with me, Mario, before we're too late!

Kamek is descending to his chambers, hidden underneath the theatre. Celeste lies in his arms, passed out.

Kamek: Now once more to the dungeon of my dark despair, as we plunge into the prison of my mind! Down the pathness of darkness deep as hell!

Mario, Wendy, Bowser, Iggy, Lemmy, Larry, and Roy descend through the underground path. They see the Phantom up ahead.


Bowser: What did you say?!

Wendy: Yes, Kamek! When he tied me up I saw his face briefly.

Kamek stops and turns around.

Kamek: Yes, my liege... You heard her correctly.

Bowser: But why?! You were my most loyal-

Kamek: Why? You ask, was I bound and chained to this cold and dismal chase? Not for any moral sin, but the wickedness of this accursed place!

Bowser: WHAT?!

Kamek: You! You treated me like your doormat! Taking away my pay 'til I had nothing left, insulting my love of knowledge, and taking my teachings away from me! Oh, but your suggestion did not go unheard. I helped here, thinking perhaps, it was a test to see how well I could teach my other talents! So I taught the only
person here who really wanted anything to do with the art of theatre! The rest of you... All you wanted was money!

Ludwig: WHAT?! There are LOTS of people here who love this theatre! Right guys?

Lemmy: Um...

Iggy: That is...

Bowser: <coff> Um... <coff>

Roy: OH PLEASE! This place reeks!

Mario: Hm, I dunno, I-a kinda liked watching the plays. :{)

Ludwig: OHHH NOOO! (sobbing) When the only person who likes my theatre is Mario, I know I am a failure!

Bowser: Forget that! Kamek! This is treason! How dare you?!

Kamek: Treason?! Treachary?! Who is the traitor here?! I RAISED YOU! And this is what I've been lowered to, because of you!

Kamek, furious, pulls out his wand and blasts everyone, knocking them out. He continues to scurry away with Celeste. Mario staggers and tries to stand, wobbling a bit.

Mario: Celeste! I won't let him take you!

Mario begins running after Kamek. Meanwhile, the Princess is looking at the trap door, while Luigi is trying to fireball the Toadies pestering and scaring the crowd.

Peach: I don't care what they say! I have to go down there and help!

Peach jumps down and the crowd cheers her on.

Crowd- Track down this murderer, he must be found!

Peach descends, running as fast as she can in her high heels.

Peach: Mario! Celeste! Hold on! I'm coming! Oh Mario, I have to help you, the way you've always helped me!

Kamek locks the doors to his chambers and looks at Celeste.

Kamek: Hounded it out by everyone, led with hatred everywhere, no kind words from anyone, no compassion anywhere! (crying) Celeste! Celeste! Why? Why?

Celeste looks over at Kamek, confused and saddened.

The Princess sees everyone knocked out, lying passed out at a two way split in the underground. She goes the opposite way from Mario, unknowingly, and comes across a large wooden door. She tries to open it, but it is locked.

Peach: Mario?! MARIO!

Celeste: (hearing Peach) Cousin! Where are you?

Kamek appears before the Princess with a blink spell, and readies to fire his wand at her. The Princess puts her hands up and glares at him.

Peach: Have you gorged yourself at last in your lust for revenge? Am I now to be prey, in your lust for her flesh?

Kamek: That fate which condones me to wallow in vengance, has also denyed me the joys of the flesh! This place, an infection, which poisons our love! This place, my first modest scrap of mystery!

Kamek begins to lower the wand, thinking.

Kamek: A mask, my first unfeeling scrap of clothing! Pity comes too late, turn around and face your fate!

Kamek aims at the Princess again.

Kamek: An eternity of THIS before your eyes!

Kamek zaps the Princess, who falls back against the wall in pain. He than takes her in the room and locks the door once more. Celeste, happy to see her cousin smiles.

Celeste: Peachie!

Peach: Uh... Celeste? Are you ok?

Celeste: I'm fine.. Kamek's only trying too...

Kamek turns around to face the prisoners and is surprised to see Celeste smiling.

Celeste: (clasping her hands together as if she's figured something out) This haunted place holds no horror for me now. It's in the soul that the true distortion lies...

Kamek blushes, then turns his head at the sound of footprints.

Kamek: Wait. I think, my dear, we have a guest! (singing close to the door for Mario to hear) Sir, this is indeed an unparrelleled delight! I had rather hoped that you would come, and now my wish comes true, you have truly made my night!

Mario: (banging on the door) FREE HER! Do what you like, only free her! Have you no pity?

Kamek: (turning to Celeste, bitterly) Your lover makes a passionate plee!

Celeste: He's right, it's useless! (looks at Kamek and pouts)

Mario: I love her! Does that mean nothing?! I love her! Show some compassion!

Kamek: (bitterly)The World showed no compassion to me!

Mario: Celeste! Princess! Let me see her!

Kamek walks over to the door, pulling out his wand once more.

Kamek: (sarcastically) Be my guest, sir...

Kamek smacks Mario into a corner of the room, using his wand like a baseball bat. Of course, this uses almost all his physical strength, since Magikoopas are rather weak.

Kamek: Mounsieur, I bid you welcome. Did you think that I would harm her? Why should I make her pay for the sins which are YOURS?!

Kamek points his wand and blasts Mario, slamming him into the corner he had pushed him against a second ago. He points his wand again, but stops suddenly, realizing he is in complete control.

Kamek: Swarms of Lakitus couldn't stop me now, raise up your hands to the level of your eyes! Nothing can save you now except, perhaps, Celeste!

Kamek then quickly blasts Mario and turns to Celeste while Mario struggles to stand.

Kamek: Start a new life with me! Buy his freedom with your love! Refuse me and you send your lover to his grave! This is the choice. This is the POINT OF NO RETURN!

Celeste starts crying and looks up at Kamek, sadly.

Celeste: The tears I might have shed for your dark fate grow cold and turn to tears of Hate!

Mario: Celeste, forgive me! I did this all for nothing! I did this all for you and all for nothing!

Celeste: Angel of Music, I thought you were my guardian!

Kamek: You're Past the Point of No Return!

Celeste: I gave my mind blindly!

Celeste looks over to Kamek, seeing he is feeling rejected, and becomes consumed with sadness and compassion.


Celeste: Beautiful creature of darkness, what kind of life have you known? I've gained the courage to show you, you are not allloooonnnnnnne!

Kamek looks over to Mario, and his steadfast aim falters. He looks back over to Celeste and blushes.

Kamek: I...

Celeste holds out her arms, and Kamek runs into them and clings to her like a small child.

Kamek: You- You're the only one who understands me...

Mario: (standing up weakly) Kah- Kamek! I won't let you... get away!

Peach: Mario! Here! Your plunger!

Peach tosses Mario his plunger, and Mario catches it and points it at Kamek.

Kamek What? A trick?!

Celeste: No! Guys!

Kamek pushes Celeste away from him and pulls out his wand. They begin to fight, fencing style, each with there, um... deadly weapons, until Mario loses his balance and almost falls. Kamek aims his wand at Mario to finish him off, but the Princess jumps in front of Mario to save him.

<Editor's Cut: Bendable plastic weapons are REALLY dangerous!>


The Princess is hit with a magic beam and she clutches her stomach in pain. Mario catches her in astonishment..

Mario: Princess-a Peach?! You... saved me?

Peach: For all the times you've been there for me... I just wanted to do this for you... just once...

The Princess, weakned, passes out in Mario's arms, and Celeste, seeing the scene, realizes that they were meant to be together. She looks to Kamek, uncertain of what to do. Kamek and the others begin to hear voices. A huge angry mob is coming their way. Leading are Ludwig, Lemmy, Bowser, and Wendy.

Crowd: Track down this murderer! He must be found!

Kamek: There's no point in running anymore. (crying and pointing out a small river stream hidden beneath a rock in the cave) Go now! Forget me! Forget all of this!

Crowd: Track down this animal who lives underground! He's here!

Kamek: Take the boat! Leave me here! Go now, don't wait!

Mario and Peach begin to run over to the boat. Celeste slowly starts to walk over, uneasy.



The three start to run to the boat and get in. Mario grabs the paddle and starts to row. Celeste looks over at Kamek, who is watching them leave.

Crowd: Deep down inside!

Celeste: NOOO! I won't leave you here alone!

Celeste jumps back onto the cave floor, wading through shallow water, and trying to keep her dress from getting soaked. She runs up to Kamek and grabs him.

Kamek: What are you doing?! They're coming to kill me! You must leave, or they'll get you too, if you have anything to do with me! I'm finally giving you the freedom you wanted!

Celeste: I won't let them hurt you, Kamek! (holding him tighter) You did everything for me... I love you!

Kamek: Wha? Wha? (blushing and hiding his face) WHAT?!

Mario: (enraged) WHAT?!

Mario, in shock, promptly drops the paddle.

Celeste: Mario, don't you see? You and Peach were meant to be! I've been denying who I care for all along, just like you have! I can see it in you two's eyes...

Mario blushes and looks at Peach, who is begining to wake up. Fluttering her eyelashes she looks up to Mario.

Mario: But Peach... she-a... doesn't like me...

Peach: NO MARIO! I do! I may not have showed it before, but when I realized what I had lost I realized how much I really do care about you!

Mario: Really?!

Peach: (nodding) Uh-huh.

The two stare into each other's eyes and then look back over to Celeste and Kamek.

Mario: Come-a with us! Before they find you! We can-a keep you  safe at the Princess's castle.

Celeste and Kamek nod to the others, and run over to the boat. The four quickly paddle away, out of the Opera house and down a river stream that leads into a lake just outside of the Princess's castle.

Peach: My castle! We made it home!


Celeste: We can relax here at last! Fresh air...

The four enter the castle with a warm greeting from the Mushroom folk. They are all a little surprised to see Kamek, but soon all understand as the Princess unfolds their adventure.

Kamek: (happily to Celeste) Masquerade! Paper faces on parade!

Kamek pulls off his mask and reveals his usual sorceror self.

Kamek: Hide your face so the world will never find you!

Celeste: I love you! ^_^

Celeste smiles softly at the sight of her mystery Phantom's true identity.

Celeste: It's good to finally see the real you... and that there is a happy end for us, and them! ^-^

Grinning, Celeste and Kamek look over to Mario and the Princess.

Peach: Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime! Say the word and I will follow you!

Mario: Share each day with me!

Peach: Each night!

Mario: Each Morning!

Kamek: (to Celeste) You alone have made our song take flight! It's over now, THE MUSIC OF THE NIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHTTTTTTtttttt.....

The couples hold each others hands, while walking outdoors, watching the sunset happily. The curtains close, and the music fades out.

<Editor's Cut: "Okay guys, that was good, but I need to see more feeling! Let's take it back at the combat scene." All the cast members grumble.>

Suddenly, the curtains reopen and the chorus and all the minor characters take a bow, followed by Wendy and Susan, who get minimal applause, then Luigi, King Nimbus, Queen Nimbus, and Valentina, then Morton,
Larry and Roy come out and recieve no applause, following is Bower, Iggy, Lemmy, and Ludwig, who recieve ear shattering applause, followed by Princess Peach and Mario who recieve a good amount of applause, and
lastly Celeste and the star, Kamek, who recieve ear shattering applause as well. The entire cast runs out and takes one last bow, the audience all standing up, clapping and whistling, and just as the curtains are closing, the lights black out and the Phantom overture plays once more...

The End?!

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