About this time, I had just ventured out of the cave where I had been taught magic. The world had greatly changed. My first sight of a living creature was a turtle-like thing. Wanting to know more about this new culture, I followed it, taking the precaution to first turn myself invisible, of course. It led me to a castle that seemed to be the castle of the rulers of the realm.  I followed it inside, and began to look around. Thus began one of the greatest adventures of my life.

My unknowing guide first took me to what could be termed as a throne room. In the center was a throne, and seated in that throne was another creature, but about three times as big as my guide. My guide told who I guessed was the king some words I didn’t quite catch, and left. Intrigued, I stayed behind.

I discovered that this strange creature was King Bowser Koopa. It seemed that he was the leader of the entire Koopa family and ruler of this land the castle was in. I fingered the tip of my scabbard. (I really needed to get a sword for it.) This was bound to be interesting.

And so began my stay at Castle Koopa. Having no home, I kind of adopted it. I spent some time following each of the seven Koopalings, as they were called. The one named Roy I quickly gave up on. He was a bully, and knowing my past, I hate bullies. I also gave up Wendy, for semi-obvious reasons. I just don’t feel comfortable around those of the female persuasion.

Then there was Larry. He was okay, but knowing how sneaky he was, he might have discovered me, so I avoided him whenever possible. And Morton… oyy… I thought I’d go insane. And Ludwig… he was a good thinker, but I didn’t want to get myself blown up.

That left Lemmy and Iggy.  They were almost always together, but I found myself more around Lemmy than Iggy. I can’t say why.

Anyway, I walked my invisible way around the castle for a week. Lemmy was very useful in my quest of discovering about life there. He never saw me, but I was following him all over. I slept in a hidden central chamber and stole food when I could.

This went on until I decided to go a little further. I wanted to know what Lemmy was thinking. To do this without having a visible power flare that would immediately alert the castle to me, I needed some special chemicals. It was a good thing that Ludwig had what I needed in his lab. I ‘borrowed’ some, and began to work. I was on the last stage of the spell when I accidentally breathed the fumes of the chemical.

I sneezed. All my carefully laid control was shattered. I struggled, but I slowly began to rise from my body and began to move.  I grabbed for anything that would break my fall, but my now-spectral hands passed right through everything. I didn’t stop until I saw what my target was. It was Lemmy. I braced for the shock I knew was to come…

When I opened my eyes, Bowser and six Koopalings were staring at me with concerned expressions on their faces. But how could they see me? I was still invisible, wasn’t I? Unless…

I looked at my hand. It was now green, and instead of fingernails and skin, I had scales and claws. I absently traced a pattern down the side of it, but then remembered where I was.

“Uh, I don’t feel well. I’ve got to go.”  Before they could answer, I sped off.

I didn’t pay any thought to how I was running off until I was well out of sight. When I noticed I was standing on a ball, I nearly fainted. My mistake was worse than I had thought. When I had tried to learn Lemmy’s thoughts, I had really switched our minds.

As I thought, I realized it really couldn’t be our minds. If it was, I couldn’t be riding on a ball. It must have been our consciousnesses. With that thought, my worries about my body were put to rest. It still had my reflexes, and Lemmy would eventually find out how to change us back. Until then, I would just have to try to fit in.

I rolled back into the meeting. “Sorry,” I said, “I feel better now. What were we discussing again?”

“We’re talking about our latest scheme to take over the Mushroom Kingdom,” Bowser told me.

“Not again,” I muttered under my breath.

“Anyway, I was thinking that I would kidnap the Princess. I would take her to my tower and…”

“Oh, please!” I blurted out, “You’ve tried that plan at least 150 times, and it was foiled all 150 times! Get some imagination!”

Everyone gasped. No one had ever talked to Bowser like that.

“Okay then, Lemmy, ” Bowser said to me with deceptive kindness, “What did you have in mind?”

I snatched the opportunity. “Okay then, here’s my plan. First, forget the stupid Princess kidnapping! Second, declare war.  Third, get rid of the heroes. If you get rid of Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi, the Kingdom will be too weakened to be much resistance. Fourth…”

“Enough!” Bowser roared, “Are you too stupid to take a hint? We’re going to kidnap the Princess! And you are going to go to the dungeon!” I was dragged off by a pair of Sledge Brothers and tossed into a dank cell.

Later, Larry stopped by. “Oh, Lemmy!” he chortled, “You should have seen Bowser’s face after you were taken off. He seemed ready to explode! It was all I could do to keep from going into hysterics!”

“So the rest are with me?”

“Well, all except Roy and Ludwig. Ludwig is too wrapped up in his inventions to be much help and Roy thought he could get a reward by going to King Dad’s side.”

“Oyy… and he did?”

“Yeah, and he’ll be rubbing it in our faces all week, or until he gets in trouble again, whichever’s first.”

At that point, we heard a stomping coming from down the hall.

“Oops, gotta go,” Larry murmured to me as he slunk into the shadows.

Then I saw Bowser fairly dragging Roy down the hall. He stalked past me without even looking at me and threw Roy into a cell far down the hall. Then he turned and stormed past me again, not even looking at me. I settled back down to wait for my release. About that evening, Kamek came down to release me.

“This soon?” I asked, “I didn’t think Bowser would be that fair.”

“Well…” Kamek thought for a second, “Let’s just say that Wendy ‘convinced’ him to shorten your punishment. Just… lie low for a while.”

“I’m going to do just that. In fact, I think Ice Land needs me now.” I walked out of the cell, turned to thank Kamek, and transported myself to Ice Land.

When I got there, I informed all my advisors that I was indisposed unless there was an emergency. Little did I know that it would be sooner than I thought!

I had just lain down on my bed in my personal room in the castle. I thought that it wouldn’t be too long until Lemmy found out how to use my body to switch us back. I rolled over and fell asleep.

I awoke to a series of explosions. The castle was shaking. I ran out on a balcony that was connected to my room, only to see a veritable swarm of flying machines bombing my castle. I heard several Ice Landers scream as they were melted by the shock waves. I searched out Lemmy’s wand and made some motions I hoped looked magical. Nothing happened. I frantically tried to remember what the other Koopas did when they wanted to use magic, but it slipped my mind.

Meanwhile, the other defenses of my castle were being brought to bear. The first few cannon shots went wide, but they slowly got better, and machines began to crackle and short out.

I finally got the correct motions and a machine exploded, its rear compartment in flames. There were a few more minutes of bombing, but then they all flew away, back to Sky Land, as it, and Dark Land, were the only places that had flying machines.

We all came down and began to search through the wreckage. It was, as I supposed, Roy. But he had to have had help. He would have never attempted a stunt like this on his own.

My fears were confirmed. Just as I was sifting through the wreckage of the downed one, I came across a corpse of a giant goomba.

“My own brother…” I gritted out. Then I lost control. I raged and swore, using words that my foster parents, for all their violence, would have blanched at. Then I turned. “We are in big trouble.”

My prediction came true. Within three weeks, my castle fell to the enemy. I barely made it out without being seen. Soon after, we were driven to a half completed fortress, and that is where I made my stand.

“Get more hammers!” I bellowed to the minions cowering in the courtyard, and turned my attention back to the battle. There was a triple explosion as the wall was breached in several places. I knew what to do then. I waved my wand and a barrier of magic was created. Any creature that touched it would be immediately frozen, making a kind of wall of ice. But I could only hold it for so long. Suddenly, inspiration came to me. I suddenly let the magic walls drop, as well as all the other magic that was in use in the fortress. Troops swarmed into the gaps, but the ice statues that blocked their way hampered them. My troops engaged them and while the fighting was going on, I concentrated my power. Suddenly, a huge blast of power flew out of my wand and shattered against the catapult that Roy and Iggy had set up. There was a gigantic explosion. When the smoke cleared, there was only a blasted hunk of wreckage where the catapult had been. At this sight, the enemy lost heart. They all turned and ran. But they would be back!

The only thing that saved me was a message from Bowser. It seemed it was time for the monthly attack on the Mushroom Kingdom. A truce was called, and I left for Dark Land. I had a plan to free Ice Land. It was a bit unorthodox, but it would work.

When I made it there, I 'borrowed' more of Ludwig’s chemicals, and mixed them together to make a solution that would suit my purposes. My plan was put in motion that night.

The next day, during the meeting, I put my plan into action. I jumped up on the table holding up the vial of potion I made. I yelled, “That’s it! I can’t take it anymore! I can’t stand fighting a war I can’t win!”

Bowser gasped, “Lemmy, no!”

I hung my head, “It’s true! I can’t stand watching Ice Land being destroyed! Poison is my only hope!”

I put the vial to my lips and drained the contents. I sighed, and fell dead to the floor. Bowser ran over and checked my pulse.  He looked up and said, “He’s dead, the poor young fool.”

I’m not exactly sure what happened next, as I was dead, but I’ll tell it the best I know.

At this point, Iggy gasped and ran up to his room. Roy followed at a more sedate pace, but, according to Larry, he had an evil glint in his eye. I know that he was going to gloat over victory. From what I know of Koopas, I know that when they die, their bodies are immediately destroyed. I think it has something to do with breaking all worldly bonds. Anyway, I was taken to a volcano that was near the edge of Dark Land. With words of sorrow and farewell, they tossed me in. At that point, something deep inside Wendy snapped. She gasped out a sob and slowly walked over to the lip of the volcano. Bowser realized too late what she intended on doing. He made a futile grab for her as she stepped over the edge and plummeted down.

Meanwhile, my eyes flickered opened. My heart lurched to life in my chest. I was fully alive and kicking. You really didn’t think I had killed myself, did you? I cast a “jump” spell on my feet. I sailed up, on my way out. I had to hurry, as this volcano was very volatile and could erupt at any time. I looked up and saw something coming down at me. I quickly recognized it as Wendy, and she was coming down fast. I raised my arms. I stifled a curse as she landed in my arms... hard. She looked at me and fainted. She was safe, at least for the moment. However, I wasn’t. Her weight had bore me down, overcoming the spell on my feet. I quickly doubled the power in the spell, and I began to go up again. I heard a rumbling below my feet. When I looked down, I saw lava surging upwards toward me. I gasped. I wasn’t going fast enough to escape it. I franticly fed more and more power into my spell, and I began to rise faster, but I was soon drained. The lava was almost to my feet by then. I used my last reserves of power to give myself a little more speed. I shot out of the volcano like a bullet, the lava coming after me. I wasn’t fast enough. It impacted on my feet, searing them to the bone. I screamed, the sound drowned out by the volcano, and I began to choose a spot to land. When I was in the air, I saw Bowser, as well as the five remaining Koopalings, running away. The eruption had scared them off. I flew to the edges of Water Land. The instant I landed, I collapsed from exhaustion. It had been quite a day!

I awoke to a gentle shaking. Wendy was kneeling over me, a worried expression on her face. When my eyes flickered open, her expression changed to relief, then to one of outrage. “Don’t you ever do that again!” she exploded at me. “You scared me to death!”

I stood up shakily, only to fall back down. My legs just wouldn’t hold me, and my seared feet didn’t help matters. “Well, at least I’m alive. You scared me half to death, doing a stunt like that.”

“What was I supposed to do? Just sit there and rot from mourning?” She laid my feet in a bucket of water and used her wand to begin healing. I wasn’t sure how, but our wands were still with us, though Lemmy’s Freeze Gun was lost. He wouldn’t be happy about that…

Wendy suddenly gasped. I looked over to where she pointed and saw thousands of Giant Land troops lumbering over the border and into the castle. I laid my head back and sighed. I knew the same thing was happening in Ice Land.

“Look,” Wendy hissed to me, “I should have known this would happen!”

“Calm down. I have a plan. It was originally only to be for Ice Land, but I can expand it. Just give me time for my feet to heal.”

“Yeah. I can’t believe how much they were hurt. You were very brave to not have lost control of your spell.”

“Must have been adrenaline.”

“Adrenaline?”

“Never mind. Anyway, Roy and Iggy expected to just get Ice Land. Water Land was just a bonus.”

“So what do we do?”

“Well, I’m not sure about Roy, but I know how to handle Iggy.  He must have been coerced into it, so we use his own guilty spirit against him.”

Wendy chuckled evilly as we got down to making a plan.

Iggy paced inside the throne room of the Water Land castle. He still couldn’t get over the fact that I was dead. It was all Roy’s fault. Yes, that was it. It was all because of Roy! He was the one that forced him into it!

Suddenly, there was a sound, somewhat like wind. The room darkened. An image of me floated in front of him, but covered in blood and pointing an accusatory claw at him. “You killed me…”

Iggy screamed, “No! It wasn’t me! Roy did it! It was his fault!”

“No… You.”

Iggy screamed again and ran out of the room… right into me. I was projecting my persona at a distance, just like my teacher taught me, only it had never worked before. I was quite proud of myself. I jabbed my wand into Iggy’s shell and grabbed him by the edge of it. “One wrong move, and you’ll never be warm again,” I snarled.

“I surrender! Just don’t hurt me!” he pleaded.

I relaxed my grip a little, but still kept my wand at the ready. “All right,” I breathed, “you are going to help me get Ice Land back. If you try to betray me, I’ll do this.”

Iggy was suddenly confined in an icy prison. I let it hold for a second, and then dropped it.

Iggy put up pleading hands. “It wasn’t me!  Roy threatened me! He forced me into it! I didn’t know that he would try to conquer it all!”

I let him down and pointed my wand away. “I know.  But he did, and you are going to help us get it back. Oh, by the way, meet our new partner.”

Wendy stepped out from behind a curtain. Iggy stared, but then threw up his hands in exasperation.

“Fine then. We prepare for war.”

“Okay, here’s the plan,” Iggy said, pointing to a map on the table we were crowded around. “We expand our borders to the edges of Pipe Land, Sky Land, and Ice Land. We make a treaty with Ludwig that he can have it after the war is over if we let him use it.”

Wendy pointed to the border of Water Land. “We set up fake skirmishes to set Roy at ease that we don’t want war against him. Then we circle behind…”

“…And kick Roy into the next century,” I finished. “It just might work, but we have to make sure that Roy only sees Iggy. If we let him see us, he’ll know our plans.”

Things went well after that. Under the guise of Iggy being in charge, we made great expansion. Then came Pipe Land. Ludwig insisted on a meeting.

Ludwig turned to face Iggy. “All right, what’s your plan?”

“Look, I only want revenge on Roy.”

“Revenge is an illogical concept. Who put you up to this?”

I stepped into the room. “I think I can answer that.”

Ludwig’s jaw dropped. “Lemmy?  But… I… you’re… uh…”

“Don’t ask. I’ll tell you after this is over. But I really need that land.”

“Okay. In that case, here’s my offer. I get iron rights in Giant Land and Ice Land, and I’ll let you have that track of land.”

“Done!” I shook his hand.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

"Good.”

And so our plan continued. The false border skirmishes were going well. Our land was slowly enlarging, and followers were flocking to our cause. Though Ice Land was still under Roy’s grip, many residents there had run away and found a home in Iggy’s army. I was busy every day with battle plans, but I always found time to eat and sleep. This continued until one night, when I went to bed, I found Wendy there. “I…uh…” I said intelligently.

“I’ve found out a way to thank you, Lemmy,” she said. Then she pressed her warm lips onto mine.

I remember no more.

The next day, I woke up with Wendy next to me, her slow, even breathing tickling my neck. I wanted to just lie there and go to sleep again, but I couldn’t risk Iggy finding us there. I scrambled up and shook her to wake her.

“What?” she asked drowsily.

“Come on,” I said, “we don’t want Iggy finding us here. He’ll probably get the wrong idea. Or, worse yet, he might even guess the truth!”

She shook her head. “Fine. Help me up, would you?”

I proffered a helping claw. She grasped it and when I pulled, she ended up right near me. We were chest to chest. She breathed in slowly, and I sighed wistfully.

The door slammed open. Iggy stood there, staring. I slapped my forehead and walked over to Iggy. I touched his head with the tip of my wand.

“Forget all you have seen,” I said.

Iggy shook his head. “What? What am I doing here?”

I said, “We were making our final plans. We attack today. Roy has been building up his troops. We’ve got to beat him to the punch.”

“What’s the plan then? He’s not surrounded. He’ll escape.”

“Don’t worry.  If I know Roy, his foolish pride will get the better of him. He’ll go down fighting.”

“You know, you’re right,” Iggy commented. “I had to work with Roy when we were allied, and he would never back out of a battle, even if it was painfully obvious that he was overmatched. I even had to drag him back from a couple of sieges where he would have gotten himself killed.”

I smiled slowly and maliciously.  “Good.  I want revenge.”

Iggy was right. Roy didn’t retreat out of Sky Land. In fact he foolishly attacked our forces. They were massacred. However, all the survivors turned to our cause. Out of fear of us or hatred of Roy, I’ll never know.

Finally, there came time for that final battle. Roy had barricaded himself inside his castle and we were forced to put him to siege. Hours of battle turned to days, then weeks. Our troops just didn’t have the heart to punch through Roy’s defenses. Late one night when we sat discussing battle, I made my decision. “It’s time to let our troops and Roy know who is really behind this.”

The next day, Iggy marched up to the gates of Roy’s castle. Wendy and I were behind him, though invisible. Iggy stopped in clear view of all Roy’s defenders. Wendy and I then dropped our disguises. There was a collective gasp as the former rulers of Water Land and Ice Land, thought to be dead, stood glaring up at the battlements.

A cheer erupted from our ranks, coming mostly from the troops of Water Land and Ice Land. There was almost certain victory now. Slowly, but soon with more speed, a charge began, with Iggy, Wendy and me at the front. We were aiming for a gap in the castle wall. Roy’s troops were massed there, but their morale had faltered and they were panicking. They turned and ran. Our troops swarmed through the gap.

Soon after, I was up on the battlements, searching for Roy. He was probably waiting in ambush for me, but I was in the grip of battle madness, and I couldn’t care less. As I ran, Roy suddenly jumped out in front of me. I turned my shoulder to him and hunched over. When I made impact, I braced myself and heaved. Roy went flying. He landed in a heap, but struggled up and came at me again. I drew my wand and, with a savage scream, blasted him with all the power I could muster. Roy was hit and thrown against a wall, cracking the stone. He was not dead, but he was knocked out.

With my breath coming in gasps, I crawled over and looped a nearby rope around Roy. With the last of my strength, I pushed him over the edge. I then fainted.

I awoke to Bowser standing over me. He was smiling in satisfaction. “Well Lemmy, you pulled a stunt that almost killed Wendy, scared me, taught Roy a lesson, and gave Iggy the fright of his life. You made me proud.” He then left me to rest.

Roughly a month later, Wendy gave birth. Our offspring was born alive and was female. I didn’t say anything, but everyone in the castle knew the father was I, so I was stuck with it. We decided not to name her until she was grown a bit, but I was satisfied. However, fate soon dealt me a cruel hand.

Ludwig had taken an interest in me ever since the first day when I ran out of the meeting. Since then, I had said several things that just weren’t like Koopas. When Wendy confided in him my remark about adrenaline, he was certain. I was not a Koopa.  He confided in Bowser his results. And thus was my undoing.

I was in the main room of the castle when Bowser came in. I sensed that I was in trouble. He suddenly whirled on me.

“Traitor!” he screamed at me. “You have been leading me on, letting me think you were my son, but you have been a human the whole time!”

I gasped. Then I realized the truth. I was in big trouble.

“You’ve lied to me! You! And then you…” he said as he realized something. “I won’t let this offspring of a,” he spoke the word with contempt, “human poison my line! Death to it! And death to you as well!” he said, pointing at me.

Instantly, Roy and Ludwig, who were also in the room, leaped at me. I ducked and they flew over me. I spun and Ludwig came at me. I managed to duck under his blows until Roy hit me from behind. I was knocked into Ludwig, and I turned to get two more punches in the face. I was knocked to the ground, struggling to not lose consciousness. As my vision faded to black, I felt myself rising from Lemmy’s body…

I shook my head. I was back in my own body! Lemmy had made us switch! I was ready to leave, but then I remembered what was happening.

Bowser picked up the now unconscious Lemmy and dragged him off. I ran after him. He stopped in the room where our daughter was. With a sneer, he used his claws to shatter the support equipment keeping her alive. Then he turned on Lemmy.  He used one claw to grab his hair and pull his head up. With the other, he prepared to tear his throat out. I couldn’t let that happen. I couldn’t let Lemmy die because of me. I reached out a hand and grasped Lemmy by his shell. I then pulled back.  Bowser’s claws scored on thin air. I then tossed Lemmy behind me. As Bowser tried to reorient, I gathered the magic that flowed through my body. Then, like in the battle with Roy, I blasted him with a huge fireball. When the smoke cleared, Bowser was knocked out.

“I wish this didn’t happen,” I said, sighing. “But it did. In this, I have found maturity. But I believe this is best forgotten.”  Power flickered to life between my fingers. I blew and a yellow dust settled over Bowser and Lemmy. More flew throughout the castle, over all the other Koopalings. I sighed and began the long journey back to my home cave.

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