|
Goomba: It's not that he's strong, but DK must have become a twig in his old age. |
Elder Princess Shroob: I don't know much about how she fights, but if looks could kill... |
|
Koopatrol: At ease, noble soldier. That's about all he can do, the lazy slob. |
Shadoo: Who's that Mario? Nah nah nah! ... No, actually it's that weird shapeshifter guy. |
The announcer:
The referee:
***
Iggy: Welcome back to Roy’s very own Sports Hall!
Roy: Wow, that hot dog strategy was effective! You made so much money we rebuilt the Sports Hall in record time!
Iggy: Well, I don’t like to brag…
Roy: I should have you doing that every day. We’d be millionaires!
Iggy: We?!
Roy: Oh sorry. I meant me.
Iggy: … W-buh. Forget it. Anyway! We’ve got the makings of the fight of the century here, folks! In the Red Corner, it’s last week’s unlikely winner! Clearly he has some sort of ancient hidden power of… um… bonkness… that no one was aware of before! I present you, Goomba!
Goomba: I’ll bonk your face off! Wait a minute, that looks like…
Iggy: And comin’ in at the blue corner it’s the challenger… some guy who looks like a mass of black. Shadoo!
Shadoo: A Goomba? Is this what my unstoppable power of shadow will be used against…?
Iggy: So um... Yes! Fight of the century, etc! Larry, I know you’ve got your work cut out for you here but bear with us and try to give a prediction for this incredible battle that is sure to go down in the history textbooks.
Larry: Hey man! Don’t pressure me so much! I’m still recovering from being under a meteor for, like, a month! That being said, Shadoo.
Roy: Mr. Lazor here says he won’t like it if you guess wrong.
Iggy: Now, everyone, brace yourselves for this… We will never again see such a clash of the titans! Take it away, Pokey!
Pokey: Fight.
DING DING DING!
Pokey: Winner, Shadoo.
Roy: WHAT?! Hey, what just happened?! I blinked!
Iggy: … I don’t know! I blinked too! Larry?
Larry: I told you I’m still recovering!
Iggy: Somehow, no one knows what just happened but Goomba has been obliterated and Shadoo stands victorious!
Shadoo: It was sadly inevitable…
Roy: Man, what kind of fight was that? I need my weekly dose of suffering… that I can watch! Oh, that’s it! This is all your fault, Larry!
Larry: WHAT?!
Roy: BIGG LAZOR POWAR 9000!!!
ZORT!
Iggy: I think you just vaporized Larry.
Roy: Nah, he’ll come back next episode unscathed. As for you!
Iggy: BlagidiblagidiblagadiAAG! End Transmission! Well at least I wasn’t vaporized.
Roy: Oh yeah?
ZORT!
The winner:
The losers:
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Now you have a choice:
You can go back and memorize the rest
of the battles.
You can go back to the Boxing
Arena, because I know you loved it so much!
Anyone who rats about the conditions
here will be personally pounded by me! If you'd like a pounding, you can
also go back to Lemmy's
Land.
