Mushroom Kingdom St. Patty’s Day

By Chris “Wario”

Mario: Does everybody know what time it is?

Luigi: 12:01 AM.

Mario: No! It’s officially now St. Patrick’s Day!!!

Luigi: Mario, it’s late. I want to go to bed.

Mario: When has that stopped you?

Luigi: Stopped me from what?

Mario: You know… your “condition”?

Mario points to rubber pajamas.

Luigi: Fine. What do you want me to do?

Mario: We’re gonna find a leprechaun and get its gold!

Luigi: Are you nuts? Leprechauns don’t exist!

Mario: I am a bit of a hotchpotch.

Luigi: Since when did you have a widespread vocabulary?

Mario: Since….

The planets stop, aligning right on top of Mario.

Mario: Who are you? Must get Glad Force Flex Garbage Bags!!!

Luigi: What?!

You see Mario and Luigi at the checkout counter of the Shroom Shop buying Glad bags.

Luigi: You are such an idiot!

Mario: Don’t get mad- get glad!  :D

Luigi: Could we just go on that stupid leprechaun hunt already?

Mario: Oh. Hold on.

Mario turns to the person behind him, and it’s Donald Trump.

Mario: You got the time? WAIT A MINUTE!!! Didn’t I see you somewhere before?

Trump: Well, yes, I do have a show…

Mario: Oh yeah! I saw you on Retardedtubbies. You were the special guest star! You gave Giggly-Wiggly a hug and restored peace all over Moron Land!

Wario busts through the window.

Wario: Is it true, Mr. Trump?

Trump: Well, I, uh…

Wario: You make me sick!

Mario: I pinch.

Everyone stares at Mario as he reads the label on the back of a juicy fruit. He puts it back and then screams.

Mario: WOOOOOOLY! YOOOOOOOOOGAH!

Luigi: MAKE IT STOP!

Then, instantly a time hole appears.

Mario: I summoned Woad Raiders to help us in our quest for leprechaun gold!

Wario: Gold?

Trump: Gold? (With even more money I can buy out myself and I’ll be even richer than, well, me.)

Woad Raider: Grah! Who sent us to this land of coupon clippings and molten foodstuffs?

Mario: (in heroic voice) It was I!

Raiders: Oh great I… please spare us your mighty strength!

***ONE LONG MONOLOUGE LATER***

Luigi: So what did you tell those guys to make them join us?

Raiders: My lord, Grand Vicar of Sheep and Cheese… when shall we meet this Wiseman you call Leprechaun?

Luigi: Never mind.

Raider: There! Leprechaun!

Leprechaun: I have many names. But those who know me call me Finnegan O’Reilly, the Angry Leprechaun.

Finnegan sees Luigi eating Emerald Nuts.

Finnegan: Put down them nuts, man.

Luigi: I paid 3.99 for these! No way!

Finnegan: YAAAAHHH!!!

He then charges forward and beats Luigi unconscious. He then takes the nuts, burns them, and flushes the ashes down the toilet.

Mario: Can I have your gold?

Finnegan: What?

Mario: I want your gold!

Finnegan: Leprechauns are people, too! Just because we’re smaller don’t mean you can walk all over us with your feet with nail infections!

Trump: I told my secretary not to tell anyone!

Finnegan: I won’t give you gold, but I’ll give you cheese.

Mario takes the cheese, and runs off dragging his brother by his shirt, which Mario is gripping in his mouth.

Wario: I came here for gold and I’ll have it!

Woad Raiders: Yeah!

Finnegan: Don’t make me come over there and personally whoop the tar outta all of you!

Wario: You don’t scare me!

Finnegan charges forward, but Wario uses Donald Trump as a shield. Donald Trump is broken more ways than humanly possible… so is he even human?!  O.O  Wario and the Raiders run away.

Finnegan: (on the phone) Hello, Emerald Nuts? I’d like to state a grievance. I was kicked out of your Super Bowl commercial. Yes, the one with Santa. You replaced me with that fat fart!!!

THE END

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