Luigi: Hello!

Toad is slowly inching away.

Luigi: Get back here!

Luigi grabs Toad by the arm and drags him back.

Toad: Let me go! I don’t want to be tortured!

Luigi: Today I’m going to show you how to fly a plane!

Toad: Well… that can’t be too bad.

Luigi: First we need a plane. I don’t have any money-

Toad: Yes you dom there’s a big bag of money beside you.

Luigi: Be quiet! Anyway, since I have no money to buy a plane, I’ll make one!

Later…

Luigi has put a rocket on top a box and has also put a remote control for a toy airplane inside the box.

Toad: O.O  That doesn’t even look like a plane! It doesn’t even have wings!

Luigi: Wings? Oh yeah!

Luigi puts paper wings on both sides of the box.

Luigi: Now, lots of airplanes take people to different places. So Toad, take me to Isle Delfino!

Toad: I’m not flying that! It doesn’t even work!

Luigi throws Toad inside the box and then he gets in as well.

Luigi: To Isle Delfino!

Toad: How do I fly this thing?

Luigi: I don’t know! I’m not the pilot!

Toad just presses buttons and eventually they take flight.

Luigi: Wow! I can’t believe it worked! I mean, ha! It worked!

Toad: AAHHH!!!!

The wings of the “plane” fall off and the “plane” starts spiraling down to the ground.

Toad: AAAHHHH!!! MAYDAY! MAYDAY! ABORT! ABORT! AABBBOOOORRRRRTTTTTT!!!

Luigi: In the event that your plane is about to crash, it is a good idea to have a way to escape the plane safely.

Luigi goes to the controls and presses a button. He is ejected out of the plane. Toad is still in the “plane” and it crashes. Luigi lands safely with a parachute. He goes to the “plane”.

Luigi: Hmm… Planes are supposed to blow up when they crash. This plane just has a dent. Why didn’t it blow up?! BLOW UP!

“Plane”: …

Luigi: If you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

Luigi pulls out a Bob-omb. Toad opens the box and comes up from it.
 
Toad: I’m-

Luigi lights the fuse of the Bob-omb and throws it at the “plane”. The plane blows up. Toad is covered in soot.

Toad: Ow…

Luigi turns around and sees a giant plane.

Luigi: WOW! A real plane! C’mon, Toad!

Luigi grabs Toad and heads into the plane. He puts Toad in one of the pilot seats. Luigi sits in the other one.

Luigi: Ok. Now this is where the lesson really begins. First you need to start your plane.

Toad: How?

Luigi: I don’t know. But maybe this big, red button will do something.

Luigi presses the button. A 2-ton weight falls on Toad. Toad gets up from under the weight.

Toad: Ow…

Luigi: That didn’t work. Maybe this will do it.

Luigi presses a small, green button. A feather gently floats down to Toad’s head.

Toad: That wasn’t bad. Maybe this really really small, blue button starts the plane.

Toad presses the button and is ejected out of the plane.

Toad: AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Toad lands hard on the ground. He gets up and goes back to the plane. He sits back down in his seat and sees Luigi playing Mario and Luigi: Partners in Time on his DS. Luigi notices Toad and throws his DS over his shoulder.

Luigi: Ok. While Toad was gone I figured out which button starts the plane!

Luigi presses a small, orange button and the plane starts. The plane is going extremely fast.

Toad: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Luigi: WHEN YOUR PLANE IS GAINING SPEED, YOU MUST MAKE SURE THAT YOU CAN STEER!

Luigi grabs the steering controls and turns left. He is headed into Toad Town.

Toad: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! YOU’RE GOING TO CRASH!!!

Luigi turns right and left and left and right and he does this all through Toad Town. He destroys the entire town. He crashes through the walls of Peach’s Castle. He is able to stop at Bowser’s Castle. He puts the plane in reverse and is able to lift off going backwards. In the air he is able to fly in the right direction.

Luigi: Now that you’re flying you need to make sure you don’t crash into anything that is way up in the air.

Toad: Like what?

Luigi: Like… the tower for Peach’s Castle.

Toad sees that they are about to crash into Peach’s Castle.

Toad: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 
The plane flies straight through the tower, leaving a big hole in the tower.

Toad: NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Luigi: And… the tower for Bowser’s Castle.

Toad (like a little girl): AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Luigi flies the plane over the tower.

Luigi: Also, when you’re flying a plane you have to watch out for other planes.

Toad: Well, you’ve flown us into the middle of nowhere. I doubt that another plane could be here.

A military plane is right behind them.

Pilot for the military plane: Attention, Pilot! You are in a flight-free zone. You must land.

Toad: Luigi, I think that he wants us to stop.

Luigi: I hate party-poopers. If a military plane is chasing you and they want you to stop then you must get away from them.

Luigi makes a sharp left turn. The military plane flies into fog and crashes into a giant Pokey.

Luigi: That went well.

Toad: X_X  SOMEONE SAVE ME!!!

Luigi: Now, another thing about knowing if other planes are heading your way is by looking at your radar.

Luigi looks at the radar and sees five other planes heading straight for him.

Luigi: Nobody seems to be headed for us.

Toad: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Luigi: Gee, what a way to fill up six lines.

Toad: Give me the darn controls!

Toad grabs the steering controls from Luigi and puts one of those headphone speaker things on his head.

Toad: This is plane Alpha. You’re heading right for us. There is a Mushroomer and an idiot aboard! I repeat: There is a Mushroomer and an idiot aboard!

Pilot #1: I’m picking up some weird signal.

Pilot #2: Me too.

Pilot #3: I think someone’s telling us to stop.

Pilot #4: Let’s stop.

Pilot #5 (Mario): CHEESE!

All but the plane Mario’s piloting turn around. Mario’s plane crashes into Toad and Luigi’s. The wings fall off! The planes- oh for goodness sakes.

KKKAAAABBBBBOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!

Toad falls at 100 mph toward the ground. Mario and Luigi activate their parachutes and float gently down. When they land they see Toad in a big crater.

Luigi: And that’s all you need to know about flying a plane. Bye!

Mario: CHEESE!

Toad: Ooooohhhhhh...

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