Mario is at his house eating a bowl of cheeseballs when he hears the same two words that Parakarry says every day.

Parakarry: Mail call!

Mario: What does that !@#$%^&)* Parakarry want this time?!

Parakarry: Mail call, you fat plumber!

Luigi: Mario, take it easy. Just get the mail.

Mario: Parakarry must die!

Mario goes outside and shoots Parakarry with an MP-47.

Parakarry: Ha! I am immortal!

Mario: I guess we’ll have to settle this the old fashion way.

Mario 80/80
Vs
Parakarry ?/?

Parakarry: Guess my name and I will die!

Mario: Cheese!

Parakarry: OMG, you are right!

Parakarry explodes.

Luigi: Mr. Narrator man, this story is really pointless. Can you just get to the point?

Narrator: Thwomp!

A Thwomp falls on Luigi.

Mario: You killed my brother? Woohoo!

Narrator: Just get the mail so we can get on with the story.

Mario: Okeydokey!

Mario throws out all his checks and keeps the junk mail.

Mario: What’s this?

Mario reads the letter. It says:

Dear Mario,

You are very, very, very stupid. You must take an immediate IQ test or we will send 1,000,000,000,000 Microgoombas in the mail to eat your flesh. Come to 30-21 Bowser Lane.

From,
Dr. B.Owser

Mario: I got it!

Mario “drives” to this place in his invisible car, making car noises.

Mario: Vroom! Vroom!

Toad: Nice car!

Mario: I know. I made it myself.

Mario looks into the “rear-view mirror” and sees the cops chasing him.

Mario: You’ll never take me alive, coppers!

Mario takes out his MP-47 and starts shooting them. The cops can't call for backup because they are the only police force in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Mario: Screech!

Mario’s “car” stops and the cops zoom ahead of him and fall into the water.

Mario: Bingo! Ho ho ho ho!

Mario finally reaches the IQ place. He can’t find parking so he just pushes his “car” into the water.

Mario: Oh well, I could always make a new one.

Mario walks into the place. He sees a large Koopa with 6 smaller Koopas next to him.

Mario: You must be Dr. B.Owser. You look familiar.

Dr. B: Well you might have seen me in commercials… Let’s just do the IQ test. You have 5 minutes to answer these 20 questions. Here’s the paper.

Dr. B. gives Mario a paper with 20 extremely hard questions on it. At least Mario thinks they are hard…

Mario: Hmmm… 2+2=4. True or false? Enie menie mynie mo, catch a Bowser by the tail, if he burns, you don’t let go, enie menie mynie mo. Ok, the answer is fals-

Dr. B: Ok, time's up. Let me see what you’ve done.

Mario: No!

Dr. B: Just gimme it!

Mario: Say the magic word.

Dr. B: Please.

Mario: I said say the magic word!

Dr. B: The magic word?

Mario: Ok, you can have it. Was that so hard?

Bowser… I mean Dr. B checks Mario’s paper.

Dr. B: Mario… I don’t know how to say this, but you suffer from a severe case of stupidity. It is contagious, so I will have to kill you.

Mario: Dr. B… I didn’t know I was contagious.

Dr. B: You stupid Italian plumber! I am Bowser and these are my Koopalings!

Dum Dum Dum… As if you didn’t know it was Bowser.

Bowser: Lemmy, give me your freeze ray. I will keep you as my reward.

Bowser pushes a button and the whole IQ place turns back into Bowser’s castle.

Bowser: Goodbye, Mario.

As Bowser pulls the trigger, a ghost appears in the shape of Luigi. Luigi’s ghost possesses Bowser and makes him jump into the ocean.

Mario: Luigi! You saved me!

Luigi: I wish I didn’t save you, but if I didn’t my reputation would be completely ruined and there wouldn’t be anymore Mario Brothers. Oh, and speaking of that, maybe we should call ourselves the Luigi Brothers.

Mario: Nooooo!

Mario explodes and Luigi’s ghost dissolves into oblivion.

Lemmy: King Dad would be proud.

Iggy: He sure would… Hey, who wants to go to Wart E Cheeses?

Everyone: Me!

Iggy: Let’s go.

On the way there a tribe of Shy Guys take the Koopalings into their huts and eat them.

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