Lemmy: Hey, this is Lemmy. I’m not here right now, but chances are I’m either out plotting the downfall of Mario or spending time with my family, so leave me a message.

(BEEP)

Message #1: Stinkoman

Hey! Lemmy! Glad I could call you. I’m so glad I could call you. Anyway, are we still up for video games tonight? Because I’ve been waiting at the arcade for two hours. Anyway, CALL MEE BAACCK WHEN YOU GET THIS MESSAAAAAAAAAAAGEEE! (Pss-Shoo)

(BEEP)

Message #2: Ludwig and Roy

Ludwig: Ves? Vello? Vesting, von, two, three. (To Roy) Vhat now?

Roy: Fake your name, stupid.

Ludwig: Uhh… This is… Pie-For-Brains.

Roy: Fits you. Hehe.

Ludwig: And… uh… I CAN’T TAKE THIS PESSURE!

Roy: Wimp.

(BEEP)

Message #3: Drew Carey

Drew: Hey, Lemmy? It’s me, Drew. Uhh… Did you happen to see my glasses? I think I left them at the studio from our party last night. Our show is on in one hour, and I can’t find them.

Colin’s voice (in the distance): Hey, Drew, are these yours?

Drew: Gotta go!

(BEEP)

Message #4: Marvin The Martian

Ah, phooey! A voice message! Hello, Lemmy, this is Marvin, using my one phone call from jail. I’ll call you when I break free. But heed my word, you haven’t seen the last of me!

(BEEP)

Message #5: Strong Bad

Strong Bad: Hey! This isn’t Marzipan’s number! This is an out-of-area number! Great! Now I can’t do a prank call on Marzipan’s Message Machine! And it was perfect, too!

Strong Sad (in the distance): Strong Bad, what is Marzipan’s number doing in my favorite pair of shoes? I put them on and got a scratch.

Strong Bad: Gotta go, whoever!

(BEEP)

Message #6: Iggy

Hey, Lemmy! Uh, about that therapy class you recommended for me? I think I need to take it. Because, between you and me, I think I killed Ronald McDonald! Meet me at 8:00 with a shovel, a garbage bag, a coffin, and a wad of chewing gum, and we’ll bury him! Deal? Deal. Ok, bye!

(BEEP)

Message #7: Mario

Hello, Lemmy, this is, uh… Mr. Contest-Winning Guy, and not Mario! You just won 1,000,000 dollars! All you have to do is run around in your underwear in front of Mario’s house, and wait for him to beat you up! Then, you win! Did I mention, I’m not Mario! Ok! Good! So Long!

(BEEP)

Message #8: Bowser Jr.

Hey, Lemmy! I was just wondering something… Were you the one who put poisonous snakes in my PJs? I don’t feel good, and you hate me, and I partly blame you. Oh, by the way, I told papa, so start writing your wi- *faints*

(BEEP)

Message #9: Mystery

Hello, everybody. I am the mystery voice! In each of these answering machines, you will find one of me. I will give you one clue on who I am: First clue: My first Mario game appearance featured one of my favorite things. Ok, bye!

Message #10: Waluigi

Oh, hell-o, Lemmy! I recently read that you think I don’t exist! WELL, LET ME TELL YOU THIS, BUSTER BROWN! IT’S NOT MY FAULT WARIO IS MY BROTHER, AND HE NEVER WANTS ME TO COME ON HIS ADVENTURES! THIS IS WHY I SENT A SWARM OF PIRAHNAS OVER TO YOUR HOUSE! CALL ME BACK WHEN YOU DIE!

(BEEP)

Message #11: Luigi_Ownz

Hey, Lemmy, this is the writer. Uh… I was wondering if you could spread a message to the tourists that I’m stuck! I can’t think of an idea for the next Interview. Anyway, if you do want to spread the message, tell them to click my name at the top of this submission. Ok, bye!

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