It’s a peaceful day at Peach’s castle. Professor E. Gadd is showing his latest inventions to Peach.

E. Gadd: Behold! My latest inventions!

E. Gadd presents a pair of metal silver gloves, a silver belt with a red button in the middle, a mirror, and a sticky white donut. All of a sudden, Bowser barges into the castle and kidnaps Peach!

E. Gadd: Uh oh! This isn’t good! I’d better call Mario!

E. Gadd pulls out a cell phone and dials Mario’s number.

Mario: Hello?

E. Gadd: Mario! Bowser’s kidnapped Peach! Again!

Mario: Again?! That’s the 17th time this week, and it’s only Tuesday! Well, I’d better go save her.

E. Gadd: Before you go, come here to the castle, I have some new inventions that you might need.

Mario heads over to Peach’s castle to talk to E. Gadd. The professor hands Mario his latest inventions.

E.Gadd: Here’s what each of my inventions do: the metal silver gloves will give you super strength; the belt will let you turn invisible if you push the red button in the middle. If you want to become visible again, push the red button again. This white donut is made out of super glue, so don’t eat it! Here’s a mirror, nothing special, just a plain old mirror. Oh, and take this Fire Flower, just in case.

Mario: Thanks, E. Gadd! But how will I get to Bowser’s castle? It’s too far away for me too walk, my car is at the mechanic, and Luigi sold his car for some pancakes.

E. Gadd: Worry not! My teleportation machine will send you from here to the outside of Bowser’s castle.

Mario gets into E. Gadd’s teleportation machine and the next thing he knows, he’s at Bowser’s front door. Mario uses the silver gloves to bust down Bowser’s front door… only to find out that Bowser never locked it in the first place. All of a sudden, all of the Koopalings run up to Mario in order to stop him. Mario decides to fight the Koopalings one at a time. Roy is first. Mario takes Roy’s sunglasses and snaps them in half.

Roy: My sunglasses!

Roy screams like a little girl and faints. Does this part sound familiar? Ludwig is next. Mario uses the silver gloves to throw Ludwig to the moon. Now it’s Larry’s turn. Mario pulls a picture of Susan out of thin air and upon seeing this, Larry faints. Wendy marches up to Mario and Mario pulls out the mirror E. Gadd gave him and shows it to Wendy. Seeing how ugly she is, Wendy faints upon seeing her own reflection.

Lemmy: You can’t beat our-

Iggy: Combined power!

Mario pulls out his Fire Flower and turns into Fire Mario. Fire Mario throws a fireball at Lemmy and Iggy, causing their hair to fall out.

Lemmy: Our-

Iggy: Beautiful hair!

Lemmy and Iggy both faint. Now Mario just has to deal with Morton.

Mario: Hey, Morton, let me pass and I’ll give you this donut.

Morton: Deal!

Morton takes a big bite out of the donut, and can’t open his mouth!

Morton: Mmmmph! (Translation: What’s going on?!)

Mario: That donut was made out of super glue!

Morton faints. Mario continues into the castle and meets a Hammer Bro, Koopatrol, and Goomba. Mario does some of those cool karate moves you see in those martial arts movies. The Hammer Bro and Koopatrol both faint.

Goomba: (And King Bowser calls ME incompetent!)

Mario stomps the Goomba and for absolutely no reason, he decides to go into the Koopaling’s rooms to cause damage. Mario flushes some of Ludwig’s important science chemicals down the toilet, deletes Lemmy’s website, take Roy’s diary and sells it on Ebay, smashes Iggy’s GameCube with a hammer, rips up all of Morton’s speeches and burns them, and feeds Larry’s plants to some Chain Chomps. He thinks that going through a girl’s belongings wouldn’t be polite, so he decides not to ruin any of Wendy’s belongings. Mario then meets a Boo. Mario uses the invisibility belt to become invisible (duh!).

Boo: Where’d he go?

All of a sudden, Mario appears out of thin air!

Mario: Boo!

Boo: Ahh!

Boo runs away, or in this case, he flies away.  Mario goes down to Bowser’s dungeon to where Peach is being held captive, and sees that there is only one Magikoopa guarding Peach’s cage.

Peach: Mario! You came to save me!

Mario: I sure did! I’ll have you out of that dirty dungeon cell in a jiffy!

Mario picks up the Magikoopa and starts bashing his head against the cell door.

Magikoopa: Can I just say one thing?

Mario and Peach: What?

Magikoopa: King Bowser never locked the door, he only closed it.

Mario: Hee hee. Oops.

Mario opens the cell door and lets Peach out.

Peach: Thank you, Mario, but how will we get home?

Mario: Don’t worry, I have an idea.

Mario and Peach go into Ludwig’s room and “borrow” his doomship and fly back to the Mushroom Kingdom. At this time, Bowser comes out of his room to check if everything is okay, but instead, Bowser sees a big mess!

Bowser: Grr! All of you! Dungeon! Now!

Bowser throws the Koopalings (except for Ludwig, who’s still stuck on the moon) and the Hammer Bro, Koopatrol, Goomba, Boo, and Magikoopa into the dungeon. Peach is so happy to be rescued that she throws a big party for the whole Mushroom Kingdom in Mario’s honor, and everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom lives happily ever after.

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