A Goomba is seen watching a TV.

News Reporter: We interrupt your scheduled program for this very important message.

A fat Pianta wearing a Hawaiian shirt appears on the screen. His name is Uncle Al.

Uncle Al: Hey paisanos! I’m Uncle Al, and I’m the owner of Uncle Al’s Island Shack!

Uncle Al’s Island Shack appears on the TV screen.

Uncle Al: At Uncle Al’s Island Shack, every customer is treated like a family member.

Punio: Gee whiz, Mr. Uncle Al, sir, am I also part of your family?

Uncle Al: NO! GET OUT OF HERE! SECURITY!

An old Pianta walks out from a room.

Old Pianta: I got this.

The old Pianta pulls out a shotgun.

Uncle Al: Not in front of the camera.

Old Pianta: Oh, sorry.

The old Pianta grabs Punio by the antenna and throws him outside.

Uncle Al: Sorry you had to see that, folks. Uh, here at Uncle Al’s, we uh, master insecurity. Yeah, that’s a good way to put it. Anyways, at Uncle Al’s we have delicious food, made with only the freshest ingredients.

A Pianta in a labcoat walks up to Uncle Al.

Pianta in labcoat: Uh, sir, the radioactive waste has mixed with the twelve tons of MSG again. Do you want me to have security take care of its creation?

Uncle Al: (quietly) Uh, Harry, not in front of the camera.

Harry: Sorry, sir.

Uncle Al: You’d better be. Don’t expect a paycheck for five months.

Harry: Yes sir, sorry sir.

Uncle Al: I hate these employees, why did I hire random people I met on the street? (noticing the camera) Ha, I’m kidding, of course, these are the best employees. And Harry is, of course, kidding about the radioactive
MSG monster. Let’s see what a happy customer has to say about our food.

Uncle Al walks up to some random Toad customer.

Uncle Al: Hi there, what do you think of our food?

Random Toad: It’s %*@&$ horrible! I think I found a finger in my food, alongside at least 56 bugs.

Uncle Al: Why I ought-a…

(Uncle Al grabs the Toad’s neck and starts chocking him. The Toad passes out.

Uncle Al: (to employee) Call the paramedics.

Employee: Yes sir.

(The employee calls the paramedics. They arrive and carry the Toad out on a stretcher.)

Uncle Al: Ha ha ha ha, another satisfied customer here at Uncle Al’s Island Shack.

Uncle Al and every employee: Come here today!

Uncle Al: Uncle Al’s Island Shack is located in Delfino Plaza, right next to the lovely Delfino Hospital.

Paramedic: That’s convenient!

Uncle Al: SHUT UP! Stop by today.

The news reporter from 49 lines ago reappears on the TV screen.

News Reporter: We will now return you to your previously scheduled program.

Goomba: I’m going to Uncle Al’s right now!

Toadinator appears out of nowhere. He is right next to the Goomba.

Toadinator: No you’re not, because it’s

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