Roller Coaster Survivor

By Ho-oh 59

Round 6: Universal Adventures at Universal’s Islands of Adventure. Wait, what?

Ho-oh 59: Here we are on my spaceship, currently waiting for the five remaining players to arrive.

The five remaining players assemble in front of Ho-oh 59.

Ho-oh 59: All right everyone, half the people have been voted off. Last round Rawk Hawk was voted off due to stupid mistakes with the other visitors at Paramount’s King’s Dominion. This leaves only one member of Project Speed left, Goomba King.

Goomba King: Great…

Ho-oh 59: Today you’re visiting the most famous park that was built by Universal Studios, Islands of Adventure!

Boom Boom: Ooh, fun!

Ho-oh 59: The park has a somewhat limited coaster selection, but the few coasters it does have are world-class material, so trust me, you’ll have a good time.

Lord Crump: I doubt it.

Ho-oh 59: Here’s the list of credits for the park.

Universal’s Islands of Adventure

Dueling Dragons (Fire): 4
Dueling Dragons (Ice): 4
Incredible Hulk: 4
Flying Unicorn: 1

Ho-oh 59: The credit minimum for this round is 10 credits, and you have six hours to earn them. Should be a piece of cake. Now, Goomba King is under the most pressure this round, so he gets to choose the team name. What will it be, Goomba King?

Goomba King: The Blockade Runners!

Everyone Else: BOO!!!

Ho-oh 59: You got a problem with that?

Lord Crump: Uh…no.

Ho-oh 59: Then get going!

Blockade Runners

Boom Boom: Universal’s Islands of Adventure. I thought Universal Studios was a film making company!

Lord Crump: They are, you fool! Just because a company is a film producer doesn’t mean they can’t own parks as well! In fact, Paramounts, the owner of the Paramount’s Kings Dominion park we went to last round, is a film company! So is Disney!

Boom Boom: I thought Disney was in the cartoon business.

While Lord Crump and Boom Boom argue, a roller coaster train goes out of a tunnel really fast, down a drop, and into a series of loops.

Sledge Brother: What was that?

Goomba King: (looking at map) Incredible Hulk! Let’s go!

They join the line for Incredible Hulk.

Lord Crump: The Hulk is a ripoff of Macho Grubba, if you ask me.

Boom Boom: But the Hulk is a good guy, he just goes on rampages sometimes!

Lord Crump: That’s what Grubba did.

Sledge Brother: And according to these videos, Hulk got his power from a malfunctioning nuclear reactor, which we are about to experience, not from the energy of other fighters.

Lord Crump: Wimp.

Larry: All right, stop the arguing! Concentrate on the round! 4 of the 10 credits are ours already!

They get in the train, which dispatches. It starts up the slow lift hill.

Bruce Banner: Everything looks good. I think this time it’s going to work!

Loudspeaker: Warning! Warning!

Bruce Banner: Oh no! What’s happening?!

Blockade Runners: WOOOAAH!

The train goes really fast up the hill and out of the tunnel way above a lake.

Larry: This is fun already!

Then they drop down into the rest of the ride. One hair-raising minute later, they are back in the station. Then they walk off.

Boom Boom: Fantastic.

Goomba King: Dueling Dragons is the other major coaster attraction at the park. We could ride that!

Lord Crump: Not could! We will!

Larry: Dueling Dragons has two sides, a red side and a blue side. The corresponding colors of track represent the fire dragon and the ice dragon, respectively.

Sledge Brother: But first we must walk through this castle here.

The party go to where the castle is and walk through it towards the dragons. Hooktail Castle-style music plays as they venture forward.
 
Boom Boom: A castle with dragons. I wish there was one of these on Plit.

Suddenly, a dragon roar, followed by a scream, erupts from the speakers.

Sledge Brother: H-h-hey! Do you HAVE to have that sound turned up? That scared me silly!

Larry: “Sir Alley entered without his troops. His final words were ‘Oops!’” Now there’s the height of medieval humor there.

The party continues on for several minutes through the castle, as it starts to change into the dungeons with the skeletons and skulls of the knights that have died around them. A warning from Merlin is heard.

Sledge Brother: Should we heed him?

Goomba King: Wait a minute, are you okay, Sledge Brother?

A white-faced Sledge Brother is staring at the skulls on the walls.

Lord Crump: YES! Sledge Brother’s getting voted off! We don’t have to worry about anything else this round!

Sledge Brother: All right, all right, I’ll come along!

They continue for several hundred more yards, until they reach a sign that says: Choose Thy Fate.

Boom Boom: Finally! The coasters!

Larry: All right, who wants to take the ice dragon’s side?

Lord Crump and Boom Boom nod their heads “yes”.

Larry: And who wants to ride the fire dragon?

Goomba King and Sledge Brother raise their hands. Wait, Goomba King doesn’t have hands. But he got the message across somehow. Uh… okay, this is too weird. Let’s just continue and get back to the script.

Larry: Uh…

Sledge Brother: I have an idea! We’ll go on Fire! The rest of you go on Ice! That way, we’ll get 8 credits instead of 4, and we’ll win the round! Even better, we still have almost four hours left, so we’ll really impress Ho-oh 59, because we’ve met his demand in less than half the time he allotted us!

(Sledge Brother, Larry, and Goomba King walk down towards the fire dragon.)

Lord Crump: Okay… Meet you at the gates, I guess. Then we’ll go back to Ho-oh 59’s Spaceship.

(Ho-oh 59 just happens to be watching this on one of his television screens.)

Ho-oh 59: Why are they so stupid?!

On the fire dragon...

Larry: You’re a genius, Sledge Brother!

Sledge Brother: You think you’re dealing with kids or something?

The train is dispatched.

Larry: I wonder how realistic the dueling effect will be.

Goomba King: Uh, I don’t see anything but brown ovals with colors in between in front of me.

Sledge Brother: Well, duh. We didn’t sit in the- oh boy.

Goomba King: Oh boy is right. You boneheads forgot to opt for the front to get a visual sensation of the dueling! You think they call it Dueling Dragons to show off their skill with words?

Larry: Uh, who cares? We’ve still got this round in the bag!

On the ice dragon...

The ice dragon is going up the lift hill, with a fire dragon train full of riders to the left.

Lord Crump: Which row do you think the others are in?

Boom Boom: I don’t know. Shout and see if they answer.

Unfortunately, they are unaware that the fire dragon train with Larry, Sledge Brother, and Goomba King was dispatched a little while back, due to the fact that Lord Crump and Boom Boom waited a little longer and got in the front of their ice dragon train.

Lord Crump: HEY! LARRY!

No response.

Lord Crump: Just like Larry to give the silent treatment in response to an attempt to create fun.

The train heads down the hill. A short while later, the trains go through a couple of loops, and then they head towards a collision, which they pull out of just in the nick of time.

Lord Crump: GOOMBA KING!

People on Fire Dragon Train: “Goomba King”? I think perhaps that guy in the front of the Ice train has sunstroke.

After the ride…

Lord Crump: All right, that was fun, despite the others being spoilsports. Now where are they…?

One hour of undignified searching later, they find the teammates who rode the fire dragon in front of the Amazing Adventures of Spiderman.

Goomba King: Could there be a dark coaster in there?

Larry: I don’t remember Ho-oh 59 saying that was a coaster in the list at the beginning.

Boom Boom: THERE you are! Where were you?

Lord Crump: We said to meet you at the gates!

Goomba King: We didn’t know which gates you were implying.

Sledge Brother: Oh brother.

Larry: Well, we’re here now. And with 12 credits too. Ho-oh 59 asked for 10. So let’s let him know the good news by returning to the spaceship!

The five set out for the spaceship.

Ho-oh 59’s Spaceship

Ho-oh 59: Welcome, idiots!

Sledge Brother: Uh oh.

Ho-oh 59: Unfortunately for you, you do not receive credit for Dueling Dragons, as the rulebook clearly states that everyone must ride the same coaster for credits to be added.

Sledge Brother: I… don’t get it.

Iggy: That’s the technical version of it. Basically, half the team rode Fire and the other half rode Ice. Since each coaster was ridden by only half your team, neither ride counts. It’s too bad for you, but you lose pathetically, with only 4 credits!

Ho-oh 59: Couldn’t have explained it better myself… Wait, what am I saying? Now come along with me!

Airlock Room

The five team members are standing around the room, looking worried as usual.

Ho-oh 59: It’s almost too easy for me to tell whose fault this is, but I guess I’ll ask anyway. Sledge Brother, why did you stupidly split everyone up at the Choose Thy Fate sign in Dueling Dragons?

Sledge Brother: I felt it was the best way to resolve an argument.

Ho-oh 59: Well, guess what? It wasn’t!

Sledge Brother: Well, at least I tried!

Ho-oh 59: I don’t appreciate your trying to be sweet. I also don’t like that you were intimidated by the theming on Dueling Dragons.

Sledge Brother: Oh no!

Ho-oh 59: Enough! Go up and write your votes!

The team members vote on the computer.

Ho-oh 59: Okay, I’ll read them out. The first vote is for… Sledge Brother.

The camera focuses on Sledge Brother.

Ho-oh 59: The second vote is for… Larry.

The camera focuses on Larry.

Ho-oh 59: The third vote is for… Sledge Brother. One more Sledge Brother vote and Sledge Brother is outta here!

Sledge Brother sits in silence, regretting his stupidity.

Ho-oh 59: And the fourth vote is for… is for…

Sledge Brother: Oh, just say it already!

Ho-oh 59: Sledge Brother. So, Sledge Brother is voted off!

Sledge Brother: Stupid, stupid, stupid! *sigh*

Ho-oh 59: This is almost a redundant question, but why did you vote for Sledge Brother, Boom Boom, Lord Crump, Larry, and Goomba King?

Lord Crump: He’s a wimp! He’s scared of the Dueling Dragons theme!

Larry: Sledge Brother hurt us in multiple ways: by having that ridiculous splitting up idea and by being all scared in the Dueling Dragons castle.

Boom Boom: Yeah, because of the reasons Larry said and because I’ve come to dislike him.

Goomba King: Because everyone else picked him.

Ho-oh 59: And Sledge Brother, why vote for Larry?

Sledge Brother: Larry was taking ownership of the team! He didn’t have to listen to my stupid idea!

Ho-oh 59: Why did you listen to his stupid idea, favorite Koopaling of mine?

Larry: I was careless.

Ho-oh 59: Ha! That’s it! A Roller Coaster Survivor can’t be careless!

Larry: But you’re missing the point! He dragged me on without giving us a second thought on what to do. I had little to no say. So it really wasn’t much my fault at all!

Ho-oh 59: I guess that settles that. I wasn’t serious about my earlier statement, by the way. Sledge Brother is the one voted off this round, as judged by the Blockade Runners, and I can’t vote off two people at once, as much as I want to… that’s against the game rules.

Larry: Phew.

Ho-oh 59: Well, Sledge Brother, you didn’t think carefully enough about conflict resolution, and look where it’s gotten you! Out of the contest! Hand over your glyph, Sledge Brother!

Sledge Brother does. Ho-oh 59 puts it in the airlock.

Ho-oh 59: Sledge Brother, the mass has spoken.

The glyph flies out as the airlock opens.

Ho-oh 59: Jump in this warp pipe to get back to Plit, Sledge Brother.

Sledge Brother does.

Ho-oh 59: How about that? Goomba King, the last remaining member of Project Stealth, was not voted off!

Goomba King: Unbelievable. You need to know what you are doing if you want to become a genuine Roller Coaster Survivor.

Ho-oh 59: Fortunately, he’s out of here, and maybe next round the competition will be a little more fierce. Join me next time for Round 7, and to all of you Interview fans, I’m sorry for the lack of Interviews recently. I’ll try to hold my 20th Interview next week, and it’ll be extra special to make up for that. Until Round 7 or the 20th Interview, so long and good night!

Larry: Finally, he says it when it’s actually night!

Ho-oh 59: Actually, someone changed all of the clocks’ times.

Larry: Not again…

Who voted for who?

Larry: Sledge Brother
Sledge Brother: Larry
Boom Boom: Sledge Brother
Lord Crump: Sledge Brother
Goomba King: Sledge Brother

To Be Continued...

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