Bowser’s Christmas Songs of Evil

By Shadow Raceman Koopa

Bowser: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! This is Bowser's Christmas Song Collection! Buy it for only 19.95 and I'll give you a ticket to being my slave. Time for my songs.

Song 1: Flame the Halls

Flame the halls with Christmas terror
Bwa ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
‘Tis the season to be evil
Bwa ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Destroy Mario and be my slave
Mwa ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
Give me what I want or I will kill you
Bwa ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Bowser: Was that good? It isn't even near christmas! How's this one.

Song 2: Koopalph the Bloody-Nosed Reindeer

Koopalph the bloody nosed reindeer, reindeer
Has a very bloody nose
And if you ever saw Koopalph, Koopalph
You can say blood has oozed
And all the other reindeers used to laugh and call him names
And poor Koopalph, Koopalph never joined in any reindeer games
Then one stormy Christmas eve, Santa came to say
“Koopalph with youre nose so bloody, would you join me and be my punch buddy?”
And all the other reindeers watched poor Koopalph being punched by Santa, Santa
And poor Koopalph, Koopalph
Went down in misery

Bowser: Oh come on, I should've got at least twenty bucks for that! Okay, if that isn't good enough... then listen to this!

Song 3: Jingle Bells Koopa Style

Jingle Bells
Mario Smells
Luigi Lay An Egg
The Koopa Ship Took A Trip Down To Mushroom Kingdom
Jingle Bells
Future Tells
Very Gladly
Bowser Will Defeat Mario And Go Down In History
Oh Jingle Bells
Humans Sell
The Worst Items
So I Get Mad
And Things Get Bad
AND I AM THE KING!!!

Bowser: Sheesh. Tough crowd. How's this one?

Song 4: Twelve Days of Christmas

Twelve Koopa Soldiers
Eleven Giant Thwomps
Ten Scattering Fireballs
Nine Exploding Bomb-Ombs
Eight Flames At The Butt
Seven Mean Koopalings
Six Hammers Chucked
Five Slamming Whomps
Four Goombas
Three Koopatrols
Two Plumbers
And One Supreme King!

Bowser: WHAT?! You pay fifty freakin' dollars for a Mario Party game but you won't give me a dime?! Well this one should get you all listening! And this one I made up!

Final Song: Bowser's Christmas

Bowser's Christmas
Is A Scary Holiday
Nightmares Scatter
And Christmas Will Be Doomsday
People Will Receive Fireballs
I Will Receive All
You Will Become Wendy's Dolls
Or Lemmy's New Ball
Oh Bowser's Christmas Is The Best Holiday
Humans And Toads Will Get Nothing But Doomsday
Koopa's Will Receive All Presents
But Everyone Else Will Become Peasants
And I Get Everything
And You Get Nothing
And Christmas Will Be My Dream
AND YOUR NIGHTMARE!
MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Bowser: This is insanity! None of you are even paying! What, just because I'm evil you won't pay me? What if Mario sang it?

Person 1: Than I would be paying.

Bowser: Oh yeah? Well you can go straight to...

Person 2: Hey!

Bowser: Oh yeah, well you wanna go! You and me, right now.

Some people leave.

Bowser: Oh yeah, that's right, just walk away from me. And you, human! You can just walk across the street! I hope you get hit by a car.

COMING NEVER! BOWSER'S CHRISTMAS SONGS OF EVIL!!!
Only 19.95

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