Toadmon JR: Yo mon! How do you turn this ting on?

Vyucs: Just hit the red button and point the camera at me.

Toadmon JR: ... Oh!

Vyucs: Welcome to Vyucs's Interview Show. I'm Vyucs.

Grubby: And I'm Grubby. And I think it's weird how you always need someone to interview with you.

Vyucs: I mess up when solo! Now let's bring out that fat Mario clone. WARIO!!!

Wario: I'm not fat! You just happen to be sitting very close to me.

(The audience can clearly see that Vyucs and Grubby are seven feet away from Wario)

Grubby: Now let's ask the questions!

Vyucs: Why is it that you love to steal money?

Wario: Money makes the world go around!

Mario: No... I DO!!!

(Mario brings out a globe and starts spinning it.)

Luigi: I'm so ashamed...

Grubby: But wouldn't it be easier to steal whatever money would buy?

Wario: Hmm... Very true!

Toadmon JR: Speaking of money, where did my 20-dollar bill go?

Wario: ... Um... MARIO STOLE IT!!!

(The audience then stares at Mario, who is still spinning the globe.)

Mario: WEE!!!

Toadmon JR: Mario, you imbecile! I con't believe you!

Vyucs: Let it go, Toadmon JR! You can get him after the Interview.

Roy: In fact, let's all get him after the Interview.

Audience: YEAH!!!

Grubby: OKAY, OKAY!!! Now Wario... Why are you so fat?

Wario: I TOLD YOU!!! YOU HAPPEN TO BE SITTING VERY CLOSE TO ME!!!

Vyucs: Then why did your chair fall apart when you sat in it?

Wario: GRR... It happens to be a weak chair!

Vyucs: Well how is it that you can suck coins in with your mouth and still be able to use those coins?

Wario: I don't swallow the coins, I just take them out afterwards and store them in my safe.

Vyucs: How did you become so strong?

Wario: Onions give me power! Plus I also beat up a lot of ninnies. My body isn't all fat, you know... Wait... What am I saying? I'm not fat!

Grubby: Great! Now let's ask the audience for some questions! Seat IDUNNO!

Wendy: Why are you wearing that ugly outfit? It smells like onions!

Wario: One! I like onions. And two! If my outfit is stupid, then Mario's is too!

Vyucs: Makes sense! Seat WHACHADUIN!

Chet Rippo: You want my money?

Wario: YOU BETCHA!!!

(Chet Rippo throws a whole bunch of money at Wario.)

Wario: Hmm... HEY!!! This is fake money!

Chet Rippo: Haha!

Grubby: All right now. Seat STOPIT!

Goomba: I'll Goomba you!

(The goomba jumps on Wario, but Wario just punches the Goomba down.)

Vyucs: I'll take this little menace.

(Vyucs picks up the Goomba.)

Vyucs: Brace yourselves, everyone. Seat OBNOXIOUS!

Morton: Hi! Do you like wedding cake? I like it and it is all so warm and-

(Vyucs flings the Goomba into Morton's mouth.)

Morton: MMMMFFFFPPPPTTTTTHHH!!!

Mario: (teasing voice) Morton's eating a Goomba! Morton's eating a Goomba! Morton's eating a Goomba!

Roy: (mocking Mario): And Mario's about to eat my fiiisst!

Grubby: SHUT UP!!! Seat MONO!

Yoshi: Are you tasty? Because Yoshi notice that you get eaten by many things.

Wario: No I'm not! Those stinkin' monsters spit me right back out!

Vyucs: You probably taste like onions! Last question in seat DINGO!

Red Koopa: What do you think of Waluigi?

Wario: The perfect pushover! When he won a trophy in Mario Power Tennis, I got to knock him down while dancing!

Toadmon JR: Good! Now I con go home.

Vyucs: That ends today's Interview, be sure to come again sometime!

Grubby: 3... 2... 1... END TRANSMISSION!!!

Roy: LET'S GET HIM!!!

(Everyone all of a sudden jumps on Mario and starts attacking him.)

Mario: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!!

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.