Water Land…

Peachy Girl: Welcome to Lemmy’s Interview Show. We’re in Water Land today because I have to hide from Lemmy, who is basically on a search-and-destroy mission, with Leo and me as the targets.

Leo: Because in the last Interview, Peachy girl blew up-

Peachy Girl: King Boo blew up the studio, not me!

Leo: Whatever.

(A Shy Guy in the audience raises his hand.)

Peachy Girl: Yes?

Shy Guy: How did you enter Water Land without Wendy noticing?

(Peachy Girl glances at Leo, who is tying Wendy up.)

Peachy Girl: Hehe, funny story about that, Leo kind of… well, you can figure it out yourself. Leo, pick a random person from the audience so we can interview.

Leo: Hmmm… I pick- no. I pick- nahhh…

Peachy Girl: TODAY!

Leo: Uhhh… Koopa Troopa!

(Koopa walks on the stage accompanied by cheers from the Koopa Troop, and boos from the Mario Gang.)

Peachy Girl: We have to hurry, or Lemmy’s going to find me and blow me into little, bite-sized pieces!

Leo: Ohhh! I’d like to see that!

Peachy Girl: …

Leo: Uhhh, I mean... Oh, no!

Peachy Girl: Okaaaay… First question, in recent games, you have started to walk on your hind legs, why is that?

Koopa: Well, you can’t expect us to play golf while crawling, can you? We simply changed our ways to make things easier.

Leo: Why do green Koopas charge straight forward, while red Koopas move back and forth?

Koopa: It’s our shells. You noticed that in Mario Kart games, green shells went in a straight line, while red shells actually turn. It’s the same thing with us.

Peachy Girl: What’s your name in Japanese?

Koopa: That would be Noko Noko.

Leo: Where’d your name come from?

Koopa: Probably a play on the word “Kappa”, which is the name of a mythical Japanese creature. Oh, and did you know that before Super Mario Bros, we were named “Shell Creepers”?

Peachy Girl: Are you weak without your shells?

Koopa: Yes, in fact, we’re so weak without our shells, that when we break them, Bowser knows that we’ll be too weak too fight, and simply throws us in the lava pits.

Peachy Girl: How cruel.

Leo: You don’t care, do you?

Peachy Girl: Nope. Audience question time!

Leo: Seat 27.

Luigi: In Super Mario World, how come you pop out of your shells when Mario jumps on you, rather than hiding in them?

Koopa: Because we realized that we could be kicked around in that form.

Luigi: But you’re just as vulnerable out of your shell.

Koopa: Hmmm, I never thought of that.

Peachy Girl: Seat 13.

Leo: That’s bad luck, isn’t it?

Morton: I like wedding cake do you like wedding cake? I like wedding cake of course eating wedding cake all the time isn’t good because once I ate so much wedding cake that I threw up and that wasn’t pretty trust me everybody started hating me and everything.

Peachy Girl: My English teacher would probably go crazy at how long that run-on sentence is.

Peachy Girl’s English Teacher: I TAUGHT YOU ALL OF THAT FOR NOTHING?!

Peachy Girl: My report card isn’t going to be pretty this semester. Morton, ask a short question.

Morton: Are all of the Koopas that have been in Mario Kart, Mario Party, and Mario Tennis, etc, the same one or are they different?

Koopa: For each game, Bowser chooses a different Koopa to participate in the games.

Leo: Seat 61.

Goomba: Are there female Koopa Troopas?

Koopa: Yes, they’re just rarer, because without them there will be no more reproduction and the Koopa species will vanish faster than we know it…

Leo: Deep.

Peachy Girl: Whatever! Let’s just leave before Lemmy finds-

(Lemmy is suddenly seen floating on his ball through the water.)

Peachy Girl and Leo: Crud…

Leo: Don’t worry, Peachy Girl, you’re my best friend. I won’t let you down!

Peachy Girl: Really?

Leo: Nope. See ya.

(Leo leaves.)

Peachy Girl: …

(Lemmy approaches Peachy Girl, takes out a coconut cream pie, and throws it at her.)

Peachy Girl: Is that all?

Lemmy: There’s a part two to your punishment.

Peachy Girl: Which is…?

Lemmy: Interviewing me in Ice Land.

Peachy Girl: That’s not too bad.

Lemmy: I’m not finished yet. You have to interview me in Ice Land, without a jacket.

Peachy Girl: But I’ll freeze!!!

Lemmy: That’s the point!

Peachy Girl: Why you little-

Lemmy: End Transmission!

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