Shady: … A Goomba?

Lemmy: No.

Shady: … A Buzzy Beetle?

Lemmy: No.

Shady: Luigi?

Lemmy: No!

Shady: Dang, no one wants to be my Interview partner?

(Blaze is seen with an “I want to be Shady’s partner” button on his new hat, which bursts into flames.)

Lemmy: That’s right, no one will agree to join because the first three got killed.

Shady: The first two, we don’t know if Noki is dead.

Lemmy: Actually we found this.

(Lemmy puts a block of ice with Noki’s head in it on the table.)

Shady: Ok, the first three. I need a partner. Besides the fact that I’m lonely, I can’t do a serious boss Interview without someone to do the leg work for me.

Coin Fish: I wasn’t a serious boss Interview?!

(Blaze punches Coin Fish with a fist-shaped fire ball, he then takes CF’s bottle caps and adds them to his collection.)

Lemmy: You’ve got to find a partner to stay with you for the rest of this show’s life, or I take yours.

(A couple fire resistant Sledge Bros. stand behind Lemmy.)

Lemmy: Who are you?

Sledge Bro: We’d ear 2 rob de place!

Sledge Bro #2: Dah!

(They pull out machine guns and accidentally shoot themselves. And by accidentally, I mean looked down the barrel of the gun and fired.)

Shady: Who wants to rob a library?

Librarian: Shooooosh! We’re smuggling illegal drugs over here!

Shady: Ok. Anyways, I’ll find someone to be my permanent partner.

Lemmy: Good.

(He leaves.)

Shady: Now, let me think… I’ve got it!

Librarian: Shooooosh!

…

(Shady is seen sitting in a chair in the middle of nowhere. A shady figure appears.)

Hammer Bro: I’ve got you now!

(Hammer Bro hits Shady with his ice and golden hammer. Shady falls over, but it turns out to be a doll.)

Hammer Bro: What the?

(Blaze appears and puts a yellow collar around Hammer Bro’s neck.)

Shady: I own you now!

Hammer Bro: I’ll kill you!

(He jumps at Shady, who pulls out a box and presses a red button on it. Hammer Bro gets electrocuted.)

Shady: Shock collar. Aren’t they cool?

Hammer Bro: Yeah, but easily breakable!

(The collar sinks into his skin.)

Shady: You will find that impossible. Follow me and I might take it off.

Hammer Bro: Great.

…

Shady: Hello to another decent Interview which you chose to read until a Fun Fiction you like updates. As usual we are now in another region of the world we live on. This time we are in Dark Land, behind Bowser’s castle, in the place know as Bowser Town! The town where all of Bowser’s minions live!

Hammer Bro: There is no such place in the Mario games!

(Shady pushes the button again and zaps Hammer Bro.)

Hammer Bro: Ow.

Shady: Where was I? Oh yeah, today with me is the main bruisers of the Bowser’s army… Hammer Bros!

Hammer Bro: Can you stop calling me that? That’s my species’ name, not mine.

Shady: Ok then, what’s your real name?

Hammer Bro: Hammer Sis.

Shady: 0-0! You’re a girl?!

Hammer Sis: Yep. Couldn’t you figure that out from my pink shell, shoes, and helmet?

Shady: I just thought you weren’t right in the head.

Hammer Sis: …

Shady: Anyways, let’s start. What’s the difference between Hammer Bros. and regular Koopas?

Hammer Sis: Well, Hammer Bros are actually regular Koopas who were born in Bowser’s army. After awhile we grew huge muscles…

(She kisses her left arm.)

Hammer Sis: ...and gainws the rank of Hammer Bro. As Hammer Bros. we are given hammers, a helmet, and the satisfying fact that we’re stronger than everyone else. Want to arm wrestle?

Shady: No.

(Blaze conjures a small table in midair and arm wrestles Hammer Sis. She wins, and Blaze throws a fireball at her.)

Hammer Sis: Ow.

Shady: You’ll get used to it. Next question, what about the other Bros?

Hammer Sis: What about them?

Shady: Are you related to them or something?

Hammer Sis: No, not at all, the other Bros. are just ranks that we get depending on our strengths. Sludge Bros. are Koopas who spent their entire life in training, Boomerang Bros. are fast Koopas who mastered disk throwing, and Fire Bros. are smart Koopas who took Kamek’s brains-over-brawn fiery survival test.

Blaze: Explain this test.

Hammer Sis: You can talk?!

Blaze: Answer or die.

Hammer Sis: Whatever. Ok, when Kamek was still King Morton’s right hand man he discovered a mine full of Fire Flowers. Since Koopas can’t use items like that he took the Flowers and practiced magic on them. After three years he found a way for the Flowers to work on normal Koopas but not strong ones like the royal Koopa Clan. He also went through a ton of the Flowers before he discovered this. So, there were only a handfull of them left. He decided to create a challenge to find Koopas with enough brain power worthy enough to have a Flower. I don’t know the rest of the details.

Shady: If you ever talk that much again I’ll make you sit in the corner with Morton.

Morton: Hello, as in hi, as in greetings, as in welcoming, as in…

Hammer Sis: Make it stop make it sssssssstttttttttttooooooooooopppppppppp!!!

Shady: Then let's continue. Why do you wear helmets?

Hammer Sis: It’s to stop Mario from jumping on us.

Shady: How can that help you from being jumped on?

Hammer Sis: If you look close enough you can see little spikes on top of it.

Shady: One more question, then audience time. Can you guys use badges?

Hammer Sis: Yes, but only hammer related ones, I have an ice hammer and a hammer throw badge on right now.

Shady: Hammer throw's kind of a stupid badge, don’t you think?

(Hammer Sis throws her golden hammer at Shady, but it lands inches in front of him.)

Shady: … Audience time!

Blaze: Seat 483!

Toad: In some games you guys throw like a thousand hammers.

Hammer Sis: So?

Toad: How did you hold on to all those hammers?

Hammer Sis: That was actually one hammer, but Kammy gave us special badges that duplicated our hammers. It also could shrink people sometimes.

Toad: Then why did you stop throwing them after awhile?

Hammer Sis: Because we’re lazy! That and throwing all those hammers wore us down too much.

Toad: Lazy.

(Toad’s seat gets eaten by a giant Cheep Cheep.)

Shady: Seat 351!

Yoshi: How…

(Blaze throws a fireball at the Yoshi.)

Hammer Sis: … He doesn’t like Yoshis?

Shady: He doesn’t like Yoshis.

Hammer Sis: Ever heard of Pink?

Shady: Yes, and she will probably kill us all, but we’ll deal with that when the time is right. Seat 25!

Koopa: Why were you guys on top of those blocks in Super Mario 3?

(The same Cheep Cheep from earlier eats the Koopa.)

Shady: Can you cut that out?

Cheep Cheep: No.

Shady: (zapping Hammer Sis) Answer the question.

Hammer Sis: We thought Mario wouldn’t be able to hurt us from up there. We didn’t know he could crush the blocks.

Shady: He wouldn’t have been able to hurt you anyways, you have those spike things.

Hammer Sis: …

Shady: Idiot.

Koopa: Can you say that again? I couldn’t hear you.

Hammer Sis: How did you live?

Koopa: Power of randomness?

Shady: I’ll believe anything now a days.

Hammer Sis: There’s a dumpster full of coins in the back ally next to the studio.

Shady: Mine!

(He leaves. Hammer Sis tries to escape but Blaze stops her.)

Hammer Sis: And what are you going to do?

(Blaze takes off her helmet to reveal that she is bald.)

Hammer Sis: Waaaaaa!!! Wait… all Koopas are bald!

Blaze: Continue.

Hammer Sis: (putting her helmet back on) Fine. Is this the last question?

Blaze: Yes.

Hammer Sis: Ok, you! In the way back! Seat 181,746,429!

Yellow: How did you fit inside those orbs in the last three Mario Parties?

Hammer Sis: Those weren’t real Hammer Bros! Those were data that E. Gadd made to act like us!

Yellow: Yay! I’m the only audience member to ask a question and live!

(Shady flies in and drops a dumpster full of coins on Yellow.)

Librarian: Shoooosh!

Shady: Coins for all!

Audience: Hurray!

Shay: Except for you.

Audience: Awwwww.

Shady: And you.

Hammer Sis: Nuts.

Shady: Well I hope everyone enjoyed my 10th solo Interview. Wait… no I don’t.

Hammer Sis: Now take this thing off me.

(Shady zaps her.)

Shady: No, I think I’ll keep it on.

Hammer Sis: I hate you so much.

Shady: Don’t care. You know what I realized? Without you this show doesn’t have a running gag.

Hammer Sis: No one liked that gag anyways.

Shady: I know, but we have to put something in its place.

Prince Peasley: Take this!

(He moves back his hair and blinds everyone.)

Goomba without eyeballs: I can’t see! I can’t see!

(When everyone regains their vision, Peasley is gone.)

Shady: Hey! He stole my money!

Hammer Sis: And my purse!

Blaze: And my Hotdog!

Camera Boos: And the cameras!

Only living cameraman: And my life!

(He falls over, revealing a knife in his back.)

Shady: Prince Peasley using his shiny hair for evil? This I like.

Hammer Sis: I hate this show already.

Shady: Just say the closing part.

Hammer Sis: But there are no cameras.

(Shady zaps her again.)

Hammer Sis: LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

Shady: That’s a good slave.

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