[Note: The whole “Being a Troopea” thing, well, it didn’t work, so I converted my character back to a Koopa. Confusing, isn’t  it?]

 
Phil: Well, after a long (and unexpected) absence, here is my, uh… *counts on his fingers* uh… Well, let’s just say this is an Interview of mine.
 
Cameraman: What, you can’t count?
 
Phil: Watch it, bud. I hired you and I could fire you. Anyways, welcome to…
 
Lemmy: Lem-
 
Phil: Go bug someone else.
 
Lemmy: Hey! I’m the boss of this website, you know!
 
Phil: Whatever. Just, go roll on your ball, or whatever else it is you do.
 
Lemmy: ... Okay…

(He rolls off.)
 
Phil: Ok, our interviewee is…
 
Yoshi: Yoshi!
 
Phil: Yes! You’re right! Now excuse me while I tune this Yoshi Translator.

(He pulls out a set of headphones with microphone and knobs, and twists the knobs  while saying random things to test it.)

Phil: Testing, testing, testing, can you understand me, Yoshi?
 
Yoshi: Yes, I can.
 
Phil: Ok, let’s get to the questions. What games are you in? And by that I mean, what games have we seen a Yoshi in?
 
Yoshi: Super Mario World, Yoshi’s Island, Super Mario 64, Super Mario 64 DS, the Mario Karts, obviously the Yoshi games (Yoshi Topsy-Turvy, Yoshi Touch & Go, etc), Super Mario Sunshine, Paper Mario 2... That’s all I can think of.
 
[Note: No, really, those are all the Mario games I can think of that there’s a Yoshi in.]
 
Phil: What’s with the long tongues?
 
Yoshi: Mostly they’re for getting fruit off trees, but we could also use our tongues to defeat enemies.
 
Phil: How come Yoshis are different colors?
 
Yoshi: Mostly, the colors are to show off, but they can be handy for telling Yoshis apart.
 
Phil: All right, audience questions. But first… Security, have you made sure Morton Koopa can’t come in?

Security Guy (in a very suspicious outfit): Yes, I’ve made sure he can’t come. He can’t come in at all, nope, he can’t. I’ve made sure of that! Oh yes, I’ve definitely made sure of that!
 
Phil: There’s only one Koopa I know who talks that much. SECURITY!
 
(A Chargin’ Chuck comes in and yanks the outfit off the security guy to reveal Morton!)
 
Phil: Nice try! Learn to talk less, and maybe I’ll let you back in!
 
(The Chargin’ Chuck punts Morton out of the studio.)
 
Phil: Ok, enough shenanigans. Seat 9999.
 
Yellow Yoshi: FINALLY! I’M CALLED!
 
Yoshi: *stares in amazement* You put a Yoshi in the back?
 
Phil: No, he decided to go back there so he could live here until he was called. Now ask your question, and you can finally leave.
 
Yellow Yoshi: Does the color of the Yoshi depend on the color of the egg?
 
Yoshi: Yeah, and the color of the egg depends on the color of the Yoshi.
 
Phil: Seat 2500!
 
Cheep Cheep (in a mobile fishbowl): When did the Yoshis start having different colors?
 
Yoshi: No one knows, but there’s a legend that the color of the environment changed the color of the Yoshi living in it long ago.
 
Phil: Final question. Seat 60
 
Koopa: Do Yoshis like being ridden on?
 
Yoshi: In some cases, yes. It gives us extra exercise. But in other cases… (whispering to Phil) Mario (normal) …no. If you’re too fat, it could break our backs.
 
Phil: Well, that’s it! See you next time on PTK’s Interview Studio (NOT Lemmy’s Interview Show!).
 
(Unnecessary credits roll by, and then Shadow Mario appears and paints, using regular paint, THE END on the camera lens.)
 
Phil: You’re paying for that, Bowser Jr!

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