(A DeLorean is seen trying to outrun police cars in the country. The camera zooms in to show that Shady Blaze and Hammer Sis are in the DeLorean.)

Blaze: I see the Smokies!

Hammer Sis: Should we be using the time machine/DeLorean to transport Moonshine… I mean moon shards? *shifty eyes*

Shady: Don’t know or care, just keep driving this baby!

(They drive to the edge of dock and stop right in front of the water before they fall into the lake. The other end of the lake can be seen.)

Blaze: What now?

(Shady looks around and sees a conveniently placed pile of dirt/jumping ramp.)

Hammer Sis: You’re not honestly going to jump it, are you?

Shady: No, but you are!

Hammer Sis: *sigh*

(She backs up and uses the ramp to jump into the air over the lake.)

Everyone: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAA…

(The screen freezes.)

Voice: Looks like them Duke boys and one girl got themselves in a bit of a pickle. I wonder how they’re going to get themselves out of this one? Oh #@$%!

(The car goes straight into the lake. They all swim to the shore.)

Shady: Well… this stinks.

Hammer Sis: Hello. I’m doing the Interview again today while Shady climbs Thwomp Volcano and tries to get help from E. Gadd, or Elvin Gadd, so he can help fix our time machine. So welcome to another one of my Interviews!

Audience of the past: …

Hammer Sis: … You remember. I’m the sane one.

Audience of the past: Ohhhhhhhh. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Hammer Sis: Unfortunately I always seem to interview some killer monster. Speaking of which… Here’s Elder Princess Shroob!

(Elder Princess Shroob flies to the stage on two Shroob spaceships. She jumps off, lands on a Toad, the resulting shockwave kills the front row, then to top it off she steals Hammer Sis’s hammers and throws them at the spaceships she just jumped off of.)

Shroob who was in one of the spaceships: I’ve enjoyed the time we spent together!!!

The other ship’s Shroob: I didn’t! WE FLEW 454,516,414,564,644,864 LIGHT YEARS FOR THIS?!

(Both the ships explode.)

Elder you know the rest: RAWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRR I ROCKKKK!!! ADOREEEEEE MEEE!!! I WILLLLL KILLLL YOUUUU ALLLLL!!!

(Most of the people in the audience wet their pants, except for the Goombas because they don’t have bladders.)

Goomba: HA! We ARE superior to you!

Hammer Sis: … Was all of that really necessary?

Elder: Yes.

Hammer Sis: Whatever. So how are you feeling today?

Elder: (doing the wiggling arm thing) I feel like taking over the world! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Hammer Sis: You scare me but not in the scary way but in the creepy way. Why do you do that wiggling arm thing?

Elder: It makes me look big. FEAR MEEEEE!!!

Hammer Sis: No.

Elder: Please?

Hammer Sis: No.

Elder: Ok.

Hammer Sis: How did you know perfect English?

Elder: Well after like ten years of observing your planet, I figured out the basic gist of it.

Hammer Sis: Why were you observing our planet for ten years?

Elder: Well that’s how long it took us to get here in our spaceships.

Hammer Sis: Interesting.

Shady is seen climbing the side of Thwomp Volcano without a harness.

Shady: Man this is hard! I wish there was a mountain trail or something that I could walk on.

On the other side of the mountain...

Extreme Toad: Dude! Do you see that totally gnarly bird turtle thing climbing this totally wicked fiery mountain, dude?!

Extreme Toad 2: I know, dude! Even with that warp pipe, wings, and this wicked sweet ski lift for this volcano he still wants to climb like our extreme forefathers before us, man!

ET: Sweet, dude.

ET2: Totally sweet.

(The cable holding the ski lift thing breaks just because I wanted it to.)

Hammer Sis: Are you related to the Shrooboids?

Elder: They’re all my brothers.

Hammer Sis: Then wouldn’t there be a prince Shrooboid?

Elder: No, we don’t have a prince system on our planet, just princess.

Hammer Sis: Then how do you become a queen?

Elder: Drink the blood of the only enemy that’s defeated me.

(Luigi, Baby Luigi, and Baby Mario leave the studio.)

Mario: Cheese!!!

Hammer Sis: … Well?

Elder: Well what?

Hammer Sis: Aren’t you going to drink his blood?

Elder: Are you kidding? The moment I come over there he‘ll kill me.

Hammer Sis: Good point. Next question, how come when you changed into your second form your crown protected your head but in your first form it didn’t do anything?

Elder: Well the crown has two purposes. It uses a very high level of vim energy to keep me in my first form but when I change to my second form all the vim gets transferred to my head as a shield to protect myself.

Hammer Sis: Why would you want to be this wimpy little thing instead of the huge purple energy ball breathing wiggly four-armed killing machine?

Elder: Because I was the last boss in the game! Every last boss has at least two stronger forms!

Hammer Sis: Your logic is weird. Last question, then it’s audience time. This has been confusing me for awhile now. When you fought the Marios a timehole appeared in the ground and all of your spaceships flew into it… but nothing happened! You didn’t increase in attack, you didn’t heal your health, and those ships never returned. What happened to them?

Elder: Well, um, about that… Hey! Look over there!

(Hammer Sis stupidly turns around in the direction that Elder pointed. Elder pulls out a gun with the words “Memory eraser” on it and uses the handle side of it to knock her unconscious.)

Elder: Opps, I think I hit her too hard.

Camera Boo: Nonsense! You can never hit her too hard!

Elder: …

Speaking of …

Shady: Whew! I made it!

Elvin Gadd: Hello there, my feathered friend. How did you get up here?

Shady: I climbed the side of this volcano

Elvin Gadd: … You do know that there’s a warp pipe that leads straight here, right?

Shady: There is?!

Elvin Gadd: Wait… (looking Shady over) Are you aware that you have wings?

Shady: I, oh, um …

Elvin Gadd: You, sir, are an idiot.

Shady: I liked you better when you were just some guy with a vacuum, a bean juice bar, and a time machine.

Elvin Gadd: What?

Shady: Just help me get back to the future.

Elvin Gadd: I feel like I missed a bunch of backstory.

Shady: By the way… why did you build a lab on top of an active volcano?

Elvin Gadd: Why, this place isn’t active! It hasn’t blown up since…

(The volcano erupts.)

Elvin Gadd: … Yesterday.

Shady: That means it’s active, stupid!

Both: AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Hammer Sis: … Ow. Wait… isn’t this like the 20th time I’ve passed out then woke up saying ow?

Blaze: 21st, look outside.

(Hammer Sis looks outside to see an army of Shroobs approaching the studio.)

Hammer Sis: … Um, Elder, can you shed some light on this?

Elder: Certainly, while you were out I called my army to come here and take it over! You two will be my slaves! MAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Hammer Sis: You overdid the evil laughing a bit. While we wait, why don’t we ask the audience a few questions? Seat 425!

Goomba: Will we get paid for being slaves?

Elder: No.

Blaze: Seat 12!

Koopa: What about health care?

Elder: NO!

Hammer Sis: Seat 636,374,587!

Yellow: When we’re slaves…

(Elder changes into her second form and uses her tentacle things to destroy
parts of the audience.)

Elder: NO MORE SLAVES QUESTIONS!

Yellow: Fine! No more! I have a different question! How come you just decided to conquer the past but you didn’t want to the first time around?!

Elder: WHAT?!

Hammer Sis: He wants to know how you altered the past by deciding to conquer it.

Elder: OH! I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE HIT A WORM HOLE IN SPACE WHEN WE GOT HERE!

Blaze: Why are you screaming?

Elder: I CAN’T CONTROL MY VOICE IN this form.

Blaze: Whatever. Seat 9!

Goomba: How could you breath both poison and energy balls?

Elder: IT’S BECAUSE of the …

Hammer Sis: If you say vim I’ll bring Mario down here and cover you in cheese.

Mario: Cheese?

Elder: Fine, I have TWO DIFFERENT LUNGS, EACH ONE ALLOWS ME TO BREATHE SOME different kind of attack.

Hammer Sis: Last question, then we can enjoy our new lives as slaves. Seat 6,397!

Princess Shroob: What was it like inside of the Cobalt Star, Sister?

Elder: Ever seen that Superman movie with that guy inside a two dimensional glass in orbit?

Princess Shroob: No.

Hammer Sis: No.

Blaze: No.

Camera Boo 1: No.

Camera Boo 2: No

Audience of the past: No.

Blaze: Yes, I mean no.

Elder: WELL IT WAS LIKE THAT but after awhile I found a way to use THE STAR’S POWERS AND how to move it around.

Hammer Sis: Well this was another boring Interview. Maybe being a slave will be more rewarding.

Elder: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhh!!!

(Just then Shady swoops down into the room in a Shroob’s spaceship.)

Shady: Get in!

Hammer Sis: Let’s see. Go with you or be a slave. You or slave. Hmmmm…

(Blaze grabs her and throws her into the ship. They head into outer space.)

Shady: Ok, we just have to hit that worm hole and we’ll be back to our own time!

Hammer Sis: Good, because the past is la…

(The ship gets hit with space debris, this causes Hammer Sis to lose her balance and fall out of the ship and fall to the Earth.)

Hammer Sis: -MMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Blaze: HAMMER SISSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Shady: It’s too late for her! If we don’t make it to the inconveniently closing wormhole we’ll never return to the future!

Blaze: But, BUT!

Camera Boo 2: But what?

Blaze: SHE HAD MY MONEYYYYYYY!!!

Everyone: *sigh*

(They enter the wormhole and disappear.)

Twenty years later...

(After crashing the ship on some guy’s farm the Interview team starts to head to the nearby city.)

Shady: Well, I’ll say this day turned out pretty well. I got an Interview, some exercises, and we got rid of that annoying…

Parakerry: Mail call!

(He drops a huge crate on top of Shady.)

Shady: Ow.

(He kicks the box off of himself. A letter falls on him.)

Shady: What’s this? (reading the letter) Dear Shady Parakoopa. Thank you for attempting to save me by pushing me off the volcano and into a cactus field. I think this belongs to you, I found it in Ice Land. Sincerely, E.  Gadd.

(He opens the crate and finds a huge block of ice with Hammer Sis inside.)

Shady: Great. Well I got to thaw out my so-called partner. See you next time  on…

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Blaze: LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

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