Hammer Sis: (shivering) Sooooooo cooooollllldddd!

Shady: Shut up and just be grateful I decided to thaw you out.

Hammer Sis: (still shivering) I think I liked being incased in ice for all eternity better.

Shady: Whatever. Blaze! Turn up the heat! We've got to make it to Toad Town before the Interview starts!

Blaze: Got it, boss!

He throws the same giant fireball thing he used on the audience in the first Interview at Hammer Sis. Both the ice and Hammer Sis instantly disintegrate but she quickly revives just because I said so.

Hammer Sis: I may hate this job but I can honestly say that the health care is well worth it.

Shady: SILENCE! TAXI!!

Taxi: I’m right in front of you, sir.

Shady: To the mobile studio!

Toad: Where is that @%@$ Shady %#$@ Parakoopa $%#@$%@?!!

Camera Boo #2: How should we know?

Camera Boo #1: We only record these Interviews, not run them!

Camera Boo #2: We also kidnap the audience every week.

Camera Boo #1: That’s the only rewarding part.

Toad: SHUT @#$@#% UP AND &#$%#@ GIVE ME THAT @#$%@& STUPID INTERVIEWER WHO @#&$@#% KILLS TOADS ON A @&#% DAILY BASIS!!!

The B Team (aka Shady, Hammer Sis, and Blaze) burst through the wall and land on Toad.

Shady: Oops. Are you ok, man?

Toad: Fine, why do you ask?

Hammer Sis: Because we just ran you over.

Toad: Oh.

He stares blankly at a wall.

Shady: …

Taxi Driver: Are you going to pay, sir?

Shady: Let me think about that. NO!

(He throws a bomb into the car and runs.)

Taxi Driver: *sigh* You forgot to light your bomb, sir.

Hammer Sis: Well that’s what Blaze is for.

Blaze cracks his knuckles.

Taxi Driver: I think I’ll leave.

Shady: Hello, captive audience!

Hammer Sis: And welcome to Toad Town week!

Audience: …

Blaze: Can I get a heyo?!

Audience: HEYOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Hammer Sis and Shady: …

Shady: Anyways… Welcome to another themed week of interviewing things! This week we’re at Toad Town USA!

Blaze: USA?

Shady: I mean MK. Here’s Toad!

(Toad walks backwards onto the stage, then sits on Hammer Sis’s lap.)

Hammer Sis: Um, Toad?

Toad: Yes?

Hammer Sis: Your seat’s over there.

Toad: Oh.

(He sits on the floor.)

Shady: … Let’s begin. We see you Toads in almost every single Mario game. Why do you hang around Mario so much?

Toad: Because it’s better than hanging around Peach.

Hammer Sis: But you do “hang” around her.

Toad: Oh.

(He continues looking at the ground.)

Shady: This is getting nowhere fast.

Hammer Sis: Just keep asking him questions and maybe we can get to a TV in time for Deal or No Deal.

Blaze: That’s on tonight?! Sweet!

Shady: Fine. So what do you do in Peach’s castle?

Toad: We hang out and serve the princess.

Shady: Like how?

Toad: We help her by trying on her dresses for her, feeding her, and walking down to the soundproof basement where she keeps her Mushrooms and axes!

Hammer Sis: … Ok then, who guards Peach’s castles?

Toad: Toads.

Hammer Sis: With what?

Toad: Spears.

Hammer Sis: Were you trained to use them?

Toad: No.

Hammer Sis: Has anyone stopped a kidnapping?

Toad: No.

Hammer Sis: *inhales* IDIOTS, ALL OF YOU!!!

Shady: About your clothes…

Toad: You mean my uniform!

Shady: Yeah, about that…

Toad: I wear white pants and a shirtless vest!

Shady: Ok then, but…

Toad: The princess makes us wear them!

Shady: I can tell that but…

Toad: I like to interrupt people!

Shady: Really? I didn’t notic…

Toad: Who are you?

Shady: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

(He throws Toad out the window. )

Hammer Sis: Now what are we going to do?

Shady: We’ll just get another Toad. There’s like fifty of them.

Two hours later...

Toad: Why’s there a blindfold over my eyes? Where am I? Who are you?!

Shady: Do as you're told and you may live.

Toad: Mom?

Hammer Sis: Sure, we’ll go with that.

Shady: Now we just have to ask you a few questions.

Toad: Well since I’m powerless, I guess I could cooperate.

Hammer Sis: Do the colors on your cap mean anything?

Toad: Yes, and this is not a cap. This is the part of my head which holds my brain.

Blaze: Really?

Blaze rips off Toads Mushroom thing to revel Toad’s brain.

Toad: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Shady: Put it back, put it back!

(He does. The screaming instantly ends.)

Shady: This is possibly my most annoying Interview yet.

Hammer Sis: You might be right about something for once, Shady.

Toad: Shady? Is this that stupid Interview show where you travel everywhere and kill Toads?

Shady: Just shut up and answer this question. Tell us what the colors on your brain dome thing mean.

Toad: No.

Blaze: Please?

Toad: Well… ok. We’re born with various colors on our heads to show us what jobs we can take later on in our life. Blue is for smart stuff like a librarian, scientist, or just plain smartypants. Yellow is for cooking and homemaker stuff, green is for item shop owners, and red is kind of like a wild card. Also Toads with black heads are aloud to work on trains or retire early, but those kinds of Toads are pretty rare.

Shady: That was long and boring.

Blaze: Just like our series.

Hammer Sis: But yet we still wake up each day, just so we can make our mark on the world.

Blaze: That was deep man.

Hammer Sis: Thanks.

Shady: Why do most Toads swear all the time?

Toad: Because we’re @#$&@ annoyed of people %$#&@ taking our jobs!

Hammer Sis: Whach’a talken about, Toad?

Toad: We used to sell items to all of the world but all of a sudden people wanted guys from their own town taking care of the stores!

Shady: Speaking of business, why do you always sell the good stuff at item stores that are in the part of the town cut off at the beginning of the games?

Toad: We sell them there so when people spend all their money in the other store then they find out that there were better items elsewhere they get so mad! Hahahaha!

Shady: That’s not really good for business.

Toad: Sometimes it’s not about the money, man.

Blaze: It’s always about money!

(Blaze pours all of Shady’s money into a very small pool and rolls around in it. The money starts to burn. )

Shady: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

(He takes a spray bottle and sprays Blaze with it.)

Shady: No! That’s a bad Blaze!

Blaze: *whimper*

Hammer Sis: I think it’s audience time. Seat 32!

Koopa: Why do you use Mushrooms in some of Mario’s games?

Toad: Why not?

Koopa: Well aren’t Mushrooms made out of Toads?

Toad: WHAT?! Where did you get an idea like that?

Koopa: Well just look at them!

Toad looks at a Mushroom.

Toad: I don’t see any resemblance.

Koopa: Whatever.

Shady: Seat -1!

Hammer Sis: Um, Shady?

Shady: Yes?

Hammer Sis: That’s your seat.

Shady: Huh?

(He looks at his chair and sees the number -1 on it.)

Shady: Well what do you know. I guess I do have a question. Why is there a dojo in Toad Town if Toads never fight?

Toad: Well it’s mostly there to teach self defense if we’re ever kidnapped ourselves.

Shady: Yeah, I can see how well that’s worked.

Toad: I just need one more lesson and then I’ll be able to get out of here!

Hammer Sis: Sure you will. Last question! Seat 733!

Goomba: Why is it that in the Mushroom Kingdom you can rest at an inn for free but in Rougeport you have to pay?

Toad: Well we don’t really need money that much here in the Mushroom Kingdom, but over there they desperately need it.

Shady: Well that’s all for today…

(A red siren goes off.)

Shady: Oh! It looks like that time again!

Hammer Sis: It’s time for…

Both: Chef Blaze!

(Blaze puts on his new signature chef’s hat.)

Chef Blaze: Let’s get cooking.

(Blaze takes the Toad and the other Toad who is still in the dumpster outside and carries them backstage. He comes back with…)

Chef Blaze: Deluxe Fried Shrooms!

(Shady, Hammer Sis, and another random hobo eat this dish.)

Shady: 8.2!

Hammer Sis: 7.6!

Hobo: I liked my year-old sandwich I found in the gutters last month better.

(Blaze throws the hobo backstage.)

Shady: Well NOW that’s it for today.

Hammer Sis: See you next time on…

Lemmy: Lemmy’s Interview Show!

Chef Blaze: DEAL OR NO DEAL!

Everyone: …

Shady: *sigh* LIVE LONG AND PROSPER!

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