Strong Sad: But I don't want to do an Interview.

Paperlemmy (via TV screen): Too bad, you're doing one!

Strong Sad: But I feel weird talking in front of a camera.

Cameraguy: Is it my breath?

Lemmy: Just pretend it's not there, okay? Now start!

Strong Sad: Oh, I'm Strong Sad, and you're watching...

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show.

Paperlemmy: Now introduce who you're interviewing.

Strong Sad: All right. Um... you're Luigi, right?

Luigi: Yes, that’s-a me. What do you want to ask me?

Strong Sad: Uhh... I don't... Why do you always wear overalls?

Luigi: Because I'm a plumber.

Strong Sad: Oh. So you like, fix water pipes and stuff?

Luigi: Yes.

Strong Sad: That must be scary.

Luigi: No, it's not. It's a little fun when I do it on my own. Mario gets in the way.

Strong Sad: Who's Mario?

Koopa Girl: *slaps forehead* Lemmy, what are we going do?

Lemmy: Mario is Luigi's brother.

Strong Sad: Brother? I have two older ones, Strong Bad and Strong Mad, who are mean to me and beat my up on a regular basis…

Paperlemmy: Let's not get off topic. Keep asking Luigi questions.

Strong Sad: I don't know what to ask.

Koopa Girl: Lemme handle it. All right, Strong Sad, ask him this.

(KG starts whispering in Strong Sad's ear… if he has one.)

Strong Sad: I don't want to ask him that!

Koopa Girl: Just do it.

Lemmy: What did you ask him?

Koopa Girl: You'll see.

Strong Sad: All right, Luigi... Why do you have a mustache?

Luigi: What?!

Strong Sad: I knew I shouldn’t have asked. I hate asking about facial hair.

Luigi: I like my mustache! Mario gets all the cute girls with his.

Mario: CHEESE!

*laugh track*

Lemmy: Turn that thing off!

Koopa Girl: Ok, sheesh.

Lemmy: What’s she doing here, anyway?

Paperlemmy: She’s a tourist, too. She’s got a right to be here as much as I do!

Lemmy: You DON’T have the right! You, Koopa Girl, on the other hand, do, and I am sorry for my rude behavior toward you.

Strong Sad: How come I don’t get a sorry? You were rude to me too...

Paperlemmy: Because no one ever apologizes to you, now ask him these questions on the index cards.

(The TV spits out some index cards for Strong Sad to read.)

Strong Sad: Okay, here goes. Number 1: In Yoshi's Island, did you befriend the stork? He was captured with you, right?

Luigi: Well, a guy in a big, goofy-looking suit grabbed me, and later caught the stork. We were sorta friends. He told me about what my future had in me.

Paperlemmy: That guy was Kamek.

Luigi: I know, but I like saying what I said.

Lemmy: Next!

Strong Sad: Number 2: Who do you think you resemble?

Luigi: My favorite superhero, Dirk Drain-Head!

Koopa Girl: Hey, Lemmy, in the comics, didn't you like him too?

Lemmy: I did, but that's a comic, not real. I really care less for him.

Koopa Girl: Oh. And I accept your apology.

Lemmy: Okay.

Strong Sad: How do you look like him?

Luigi: Like this!

(He shows picture of himself as Dirk Drain-Head from the comic.)

Strong Sad: Woah. Next! Number 3: Do you love Daisy?

Koopa Girl, Lemmy, Paperlemmy, and Audience: Oooooooooh!

Luigi: HEY! You can't ask that!

Strong Sad: It's on the card...

Luigi: Fine. I like Daisy, but not love, exactly.

Strong Sad: Okay... I wish someone would like me…

Lemmy: Audience asks the questions, and then we're done.

Koopa Girl: Seat 52!

Random Goomba from the Audience: Favorite sport?

Luigi: Football. Rough and tough.

Koopa Girl: Now I like that.

Lemmy: What?

Koopa Girl: I'll tell you later. Seat 19!

Toad: In Mario 2 why do your feet twitch like that?

Luigi: It's not twitching, they just move around like that!

Koopa Girl: Seat 70!

Yoshi: What is the Waffle Kingdom?!

Luigi: A place where I went to save Princess Eclair in PM2.

Paperlemmy: The stories are funny.

Koopa Girl: I know. I like the one with-

Lemmy: No off-topic stuff. And that's the Interview!

Paperlemmy: Thanks for watching our Interview!

Everyone: See ya!

Later after the Interview...

Marzipan: See, Strong Sad? That wasn’t so bad, now, was it?

Strong Sad: I guess not. Thanks, Marzipan.

Koopa Girl: Well, that went pretty good, don’t you think?

Lemmy: Well, it’s better then what I’ve been through. This one was much shorter, avoided distractions better then usual, and best of all, my studio wasn’t knocked down!

Paperlemmy: Oh my gosh, I almost forgot!

Lemmy: NO! The Interview ended!

Paperlemmy: No it didn’t, nobody ended the transmission!

Lemmy: OH, SNAP!

CRASH!

(Eyerok smashes through the roof and hands something to Strong Sad.)

Koopa Girl: Oh, right, we wanted to give you something for interviewing.

Strong Bad: Hey! I didn’t get anything for interviewing!

Paperlemmy: Yeah you did! You got a black eye!

Strong Bad: Grr…

Strong Sad: OH! Baking chocolate! I used to eat this when there was no chocolate in the house. And now, it’s my only true friend…

Lemmy: Oy, this guy’s going to be the death of me…

Koopa Girl and Paperlemmy: End Transmission!

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.