MARIO KOOPA AND LUIGI HAMMER BRO. interview E. GADD

By Mario Koopa

(Luigi Hammer Bro. is in the bathroom taking a shower. He gets out of the shower and puts his hat and shell back on. He gets the deodorant and sprays it under his arm. He sprays it so much that a big cloud of deodorant fills the whole room. Mario Koopa comes in.)

Mario: Bro! *cough* It’s almost time for our Interview with E. Gadd! *cough* And do you really need that much deodorant for one armpit?

LHB: No.

(LHB shakes the deodorant bottle.)

LHB: Hey! What happened to the rest of the deodorant? We’re out!

Mario Koopa: X_X You just used it all.

LHB: When?

(Mario Koopa grabs LHB and drags him outside. He sets LHB on a chair on the stage and then gets in a chair as well.)

Mario Koopa: E. Gadd and Lemmy should be arriving right about…

One microsecond later…

(E. Gadd arrives in the Poltergust 5000 (it’s like an improved version of Luigi’s racecar in Mario Kart DS).

Mario Koopa: -now!

E. Gadd gets out of the car and so does Lemmy, who’s breathing heavily.

Mario Koopa: You oj, Lemmy?

Lemmy: Speed… Spee-hee-hee-eed! WHEE!

(Lemmy faints.)

LHB: I guess the car trip was too much for him.

E. Gadd: I’m not surprised. We were just going at 1,000,000 miles an hour.

LHB: That’s like the speed of light!

E. Gadd: Yeah.

Mario Koopa: We have the interviewee, the camera, the stage, but not an audience.

(E. Gadd takes a tiny box out of his pocket. He opens it and a bunch of people sitting down on chairs come out.)

E. Gadd: This is my new storage box. It can store an infinite amount of things.

Mario Koopa: Then it’s time for…

E. Gadd and LHB: Lemmy’s Interview Show!!!

Mario Koopa: Question 1, why did you make FLUDD?

E. Gadd: I made him to fight fire elemental ghosts. Then when I created the Poltergust 3000 I learned that it worked with the water elemental medal. Then the question became, “What do I do with FLUDD?” Then a Pianta from Isle Delfino called and asked if he could have FLUDD. I told them yes and shipped him to them by air mail. Who knows what’s happened to him now?

LHB: Do you still spend your time studying ghosts?

E. Gadd: No. Now I just build new inventions for fun. When Luigi told me he needed a cool racecar like everybody else for Mario Kart DS, I combined the Poltergust 3000 with a racecar. Thus, the Poltergust 4000 was made and so was my new hobby.

Mario Koopa: Time for audience questions! Mario!

Mario: Is there any cheese inside that storage box?

E. Gadd: No.

Mario: How about now?

E. Gadd: No.

Mario: Now?

(This goes on for five minutes…)

Mario Koopa: That’s it!

(Mario Koopa shoves Mario into the storage box.)

Mario Koopa: Luigi!

Luigi: Why do both you and Professor Frankly from Paper Mario 2 have swirly glasses and white hair?

E. Gadd: Frankly was an experiment of mine. I was trying to alter his DNA and make him an Ukiki but I accidentally got some of my DNA in the formula that I was going to make him drink for the DNA alteration, and it made him look like me and act like me!

LHB: Goombella!

Goombella: Why’d you decide to study ghosts?

E. Gadd: When I was working on an experiment once, a ghost snuck into my lab and destroyed it. I chased him to Thwomp Volcano and almost had him but he escaped into the volcano. I figured it was a long way home so I built a lab there. Then Thwomps destroyed that lab and since a mansion had been built near the volcano I decided to go live there. Then I figured out it was haunted and that’s when I began studying ghosts.

Goombella: Did you get the ghost that escaped to the volcano?

E. Gadd: Yes!

(E. Gadd holds up a jar but there seems to be nothing in it.)

E. Gadd: Huh? I don’t get it? This jar’s made of anti-ghost energy! There’s no way he could’ve-

(The ghost reveals itself and scares E. Gadd.)

E. Gadd: AAHHH!!!! I hate it when he turns invisible.

(E. Gadd puts the jar in his storage box.)

Ghost: BOO! BLEGH BLAH!

Mario: A pet! I’ll call you George!

Ghost: NO! I am a ghost! FEAR ME!

Mario: George! YAY!

Ghost: AHH! HELP! THERE’S A SCARY WEIRDO IN HERE!

Mario: George, do you have any cheese?

Ghost: HELP!

Mario Koopa: Crazee Dayzee!

Crazee Dayzee: Why’d you make the magic paintbrush? And how’d Bowser Jr. get it?

E. Gadd: I made the magic paintbrush to help me fight ghosts. Then Bowser Jr. came along and said he was a fellow ghost hunter and asked for the paintbrush. I gave it to him and he ran off with. I never saw it again.

Mario Koopa: Time for the Prize Cards!

(Mario Koopa shows E. Gadd the back of three cards. E. Gadd points to the one on the left and Mario Koopa turns it around to reveal a picture of a large ship.)

Mario Koopa: You win a cruise to Donut Plains!

E. Gadd: Cool.

(A big river leading to the ocean appears along with a ship. E. Gadd gets onboard and the ship heads for Donut Plains.)

Mario Koopa: Join us next time when we interview Boo!

Ghost in box: Somebody get me out of here!

(Mario Koopa lets Mario and the ghost out.)

Mario Koopa: Oops.

(Mario Koopa stuffs Mario back in the box.)

Mario: END CHEESEMISSION!

LHB: No, it’s, END TRANSMISSION!

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