P.T. interviews MARIO

By P.T. Piranha

P.T.: Hello. My first Interview was with Spike and Kyle interviewing Mario.
 
Audience: We know.
 
P.T.: But I just figured out that there are some more questions I want answers to. So I'll interview him again, but with different questions.
 
Lemmy: I don't think anyone's ever done this.
 
P.T.: Silence, mortal!
 
Lemmy: Don't do that.
 
P.T.: Fine. Mario, why do you have brown hair, but a black mustache?
 
Mario: It's not black, it's a really dark shade of brown.
 
P.T.: Why were you in Bowser's castle, in story mode of Mario Baseball?
 
Mario: That wasn't us. You see, when Nintendo visits Plit, they ask me and other people what happened recently, so they can put those adventures into games. But Bowser lied to them, and said that we were in his castle. But we weren't actually there.
 
P.T.: If Morton and Susan like each other, why does Susan go after Larry?
 
Mario: What does that have to do with me?
 
P.T.: This is a test. This is only a test.
 
Mario: What?
 
P.T.: Dang it, Bobby! I sell propane, and propane accessories. I'll tell you what! Yep. Aaahh!
 
(P.T. undoes a zipper on his back to reveal that it was actually Hank Hill in a P.T. suit. Then, the real P.T. appears.)
 
P.T.: Mario, are you really right-handed?
 
Mario: Yeah, you can see that in Mario Baseball.
 
P.T.: But in SSBM, you shot fireballs out of your left hand.
 
Mario: My right hand was injured, so I couldn't use it to shoot fireballs in that game.
 
P.T.: Does Mario RPG take place after Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga?
 
Mario: No.
 
P.T.: But you could shoot fireballs in SMRPG, but you touched the Firebrand orb in M&LSS. That game takes place after SMRPG.
 
Mario: Exor's presence in our dimension gave random people various abilities.
 
P.T.: Like what?
 
Mario: Shooting fireballs.
 
P.T.: Oh. Why do you use your hammer in Donkey Kong and your RPG games, but never in other games?
 
Mario: I don't really need it in other games.
 
P.T.: If you say so. How do you feel about the Wii?
 
Mario: I'm lovin' it!
 
McDonalds: My line!
 
Mario: Fine, have it your way.
 
Burger King: My line!
 
Mario: D'oh!
 
Homer: My line!
 
Lemmy: First Hank Hill, now this guy?! How much of Fox have you been watching?!
 
Mario: Now I have fury!
 
Fawful: My line!
 
Mario: -
 
P.T.: No more catchphrases! Why did you have red overalls and a blue shirt, but now you have vice-versa?
 
Mario: I got bored of that color scheme, so I started wearing different clothes.
 
P.T.: Why is it that you wore a brown shirt and red overalls in Super Mario Bros?
 
Mario: My blue shirt got dirty, but I had no time to change my shirt, so I went with it. And so I wouldn't go through that again, I started wearing vice versa. I also got bored of that color scheme, like I previously said.
 
P.T.: In Super Mario Bros. 3, you wore black overalls. Why?
 
Mario: My blue ones were at the cleaners.
 
P.T.: Why were you wearing different clothes in Super Mario Strikers, but not in other sports games?
 
Mario: It was against the rules not to wear a uniform. I don't know why. And stop asking about the way I dress!
 
P.T.: Why did you (and others) look so vicious on the box for Super Mario Strikers and at various moments in the game?
 
Mario: The artist who drew the picture for the box had a little too much Chuckola Cola. As for the various moments in the game, we were all mad at each other around the time of the game.
 
P.T.: Why?
 
Mario: We all stole each other's favorite possessions.
 
P.T.: That was dumb. Why did Bowser have a somewhat lame role in Super Mario Strikers?
 
Mario: You should really save that for a Bowser Interview.
 
P.T.: Well, I thought that with all the SMS questions, I should ask that. How can you tell SMS (Super Mario Sunshine) from SMS (Super Mario Strikers)?
 
Mario: You'll have to figure that out yourself.
 
P.T.: What's you favorite section in Lemmy's Land?
 
Mario: I can't really say. Maybe Drawing Board. Except for the games that make me the villain.
 
Lemmy: That's because I hate you.
 
(Mario hammers Lemmy to Kingdom Come. No, seriously. There is a place near the Mushroom Kingdom called Kingdom Come, ruled by King and Queen Come. Anyway...)
 
P.T.: What's your least favorite part of Lemmy's Land?
 
Mario: Scribbles. I look like a mental retard in those. Funnies is a runner-up. I don't have a good rep in that section, either. I mean, I've read at least five Funnies that are about me mocking something, Luigi telling me not to, me doing it anyway, and then me paying the price. I also read "Super Moron Brothers" by Young Link, and I give it -1,000 out of 10. The music was good, though. I might like that one "Mario's Mishap" that stars me, trying to prove that I'm smart. That was by Fwipp Deathspeeder.
 
P.T.: Okay, Morton...
 
Mario: Mario.
 
P.T.: You've been talking a lot. How were you babies in the Mushroom Kingdom, if you live in Brooklyn?
 
Mario: I'm so tired of this. Okay. I'm going to say this, once. I WAS NEVER IN BROOKLYN! I'VE BEEN IN THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM FOR MY WHOLE LIFE! THE MARIO BROS. MOVIE NEVER REALLY HAPPENED, AND NINTENDO DIDN'T WANT TO MAKE GAMES BETWEEN YOSHI'S ISLAND AND DONKEY KONG! DONKEY KONG AND MARIO BROS. TOOK PLACE ON LESSER SEEN PARTS OF PLIT, NOT EARTH!
 
P.T.: I'm sorry. Did you say something?
 
Mario: I'm out of here.
 
P.T.: Okay. Hey! That was my longest Interview! Maybe I don't need Spike, Kyle, Shrooby, Punchy, and Bogmire!
 
Bogmire: Yes you do.
 
P.T.: Oh. End Transmission!

(Transmission ended.)

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