THE DRYEST BONES interviews KAMEK

By The Dryest Bones

(A very white Dry Bones head is seen resting on a chair.)

Head: Hello, I'm The Dryest Bones, and welcome to my first Interview on-

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show!

The Dryest Bones: You actually found my studio?

Lemmy: You bribed Morton with cake to tell me, remember?

Morton's Echo: WEDDING CAKE!

The Dryest Bones: Oh yeah! Anyway, today, I interview Bowser's ex-leading Magikoopa, Kamek.

(Kamek soars through the cardboard roof on his broomstick.)

Kamek: Hello Lemmy and... Dry Bones parts?

The Dryest Bones: Yeah, nobody knows me, so I used my body parts for the cameramen and audience.

Lefty Foot: Yeah, so get started already!

The Dryest Bones: Fine! First of all, where were you in between Tetris Attack and Mario Party 5?

Kamek: Well, after I failed to defeat Yoshi with ADULT Bowser, he locked me in a capsule until the end of time. Or ‘til that stupid machine let me out in Mario Party 5.

The Dryest Bones: So THAT explains it... and answers my next question. DANG IT!

Kamek: Well, SORRY  <:(

The Dryest Bones: Naw, it’s my fault…

Left Hand: Yes it is.

The Dryest Bones: Must... resist... urge... to kill... hand…

Kamek: Excuse me?

The Dryest Bones: Yes?

Kamek: We have an Interview to do, so do you want me to kill it?

The Dryest Bones: THANK YOU, YESSSS!!!

(Kamek uses his shape attack thingy to trap the hand in a capsule.)

The Dryest Bones: Ty for Pwning da NOOB.

Kamek: Np.

The Dryest Bones: Well, that was weird. All right, next question. Why weren't you in Yoshi Story even though the Toadies were? Bowser was still a baby then, RIGHT?

Kamek: Yeah... but at that time, the young master yelled so loud that I was put in the hospital for several months for ear surgery. The Toadies lost a bet to me, so they decided to sign a contract (that I had to write) to only serve Bowser.

The Dryest Bones: Why did you even make it then?

Kamek: I still didn't hear so well back then, so they tricked me into hypnotizing myself to write it. They said I was going to Isle Delfino.

The Dryest Bones: Lame... All right, time for audience questions... Seat CHEESE!!! Wait...

Mario: CHEEEEESSSSSSEEEEEEEE!!!

The Dryest Bones: HOW'D YOU GET... Never mind. GUARD, GET HIM!!!

Right Hand: Aye aye, Captain.

Captain Syrup: Come with me, you adorable little thing.

Right Hand: Aye aye, Captain!

Pirate Head: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?

Right Hand: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

The Dryest Bones: Oh, forget it.

(The Dryest Bones hurls himself onto a switch, destroying everything in the audience that isn't made of bones.)

Mario: I'm A MARIO! Mamamia!!! E=mcSquared.

The Dryest Bones: Wow, that explosion made him smart for one second.

Kamek: That's a first.

The Dryest Bones: All right then, seat RF.

Right Foot: How come you wore that dumb apron in Partners in Time?

Kamek: If you played it, you'd've seen all of those cookies Bowser ate. Soo... much... mopping!

Right Foot: Psycho much.

Kamek: Yes, see Superstar Saga. HEHEHOHORF *cough*

The Dryest Bones: Seat camera.

Left Foot: Yeah, do you think you'll ever be in another game again?

Kamek: Alas, probably not. Nintendo likes Kammy more. However, I'd like to be in Super Smash Bros Brawl, maybe in the background of the Yoshi stage or as an obstacle there.

Yoshi: Yoshi no like if Kamek guy in Brawl Smash game.

Kamek: CURSE YOU, YOSHI!!!

The Dryest Bones: First Mario, then the two pirate freaks, and now Yoshi. HOW DO PEOPLE KEEP FINDING ME?

Morton's Voice: WEDDING CAKE!!! THE DRYEST BONES GAVE IT TO ME!!! HIS STUDIO'S
[location of studio revealed here]. HE'S INTERVIEWING KAMEK!!!

The Dryest Bones: Maybe I should've told it to Iggy... Last question, seat VOICE.

MORTON'S VOICE: WHY DID YOU USE TOADIES? THOSE THINGS WERE HORRIBLE! WHY NOT MAGIKOOPAS? DO YOU LIKE WEDDING CAKE? I THINK IT'S THE GREATEST INVENTION EVER. I MEAN, CAKE ON WEDDINGS...

(Morton talks for two more days about cake.)

Kamek: Is it over?

Morton: CAKE!!! YES.

The Dryest Bones: I should've told Iggy. I'm so glad I don't have ears.

Kamek: All right, in order, Toadies could fly and were the most intelligent beings besides unreliable Boos, I hadn't started teaching magic to any Koopas yet (as they were still really stupid) and no, I hate wedding cake.

Mario's Ghost: Do you like CHEEESSSSSSSEEEEEE?!

Kamek: No, now take THIS!

(Kamek pulls out the Poltergust 3000.)

Mario Ghost: NO!!!

King Boo: I'm FREE!!!

Kamek: Oops, set it on reverse.

The Dryest Bones: Boo Buddy!

King Boo: Boss Bonesy!

Kamek: You two know each other?

The Dryest Bones and King Boo: We were roommates.

Kamek: Well, take Mario to the official afterlife.

King Boo: I'll erase him from existence!

(King Boo brings Mario back to life.)

King Boo: Oops, set it on reverse.

Pasta Vendor on the other side of Plit: Get your hot pasta here!

Mario: PASTA!!!

Mario runs at fast-as-chocolate-obsessed-Ludwig speed

The Dryest Bones: My Box-of-a-Wall!

King Boo: See ya, I ain't paying for that. By the way, where'd ya get the clones in Super Princess Peach from, Kamek?

Kamek: They were originally from my new cloning spell, but instead of getting one powerful clones, I got plenty of pathetic ones.

King Boo: K, see ya.

(King Boo goes through the floor.)

The Dryest Bones: All right, time to get all back together again.

(The Dryest Bones creates a tornado around his head. Its other body parts connect except the left hand, which is still trapped in a capsule.)

Kamek: Don't ya need your parts to run the show?

The Dryest Bones: Nope, ‘cause I'm hiring you.

Kamek: YAY!!! I BELONG AGAIN!!!

The Dryest Bones: Well, only one thing left to do.

(The Dryest Bones throws his capsule arm at a sleeping Lemmy.)

Left Hand: I'm FREE!

Lemmy: Oh, END TRANSMISSION!

Left Hand: Dang.

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