TOADETTE KOOPA interviews LEMMY

By Toadette Koopa

Toadette Koopa: Welcome to T.Koopa Interviews!

Lemmy: T.Koopa Interviews! Watch or you'll die! NOW!

Toadette Koopa: Since my studio is still destroyed from a certain Mushroom incident and I don't have another studio to use *glares at Lakitu* I have to do it outside.

Lakitu: AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! SUNSHINE!!! IT BURNS!!! Ok. I'm over it.

Toadette Koopa: Weirdo.

Lakitu: I said sorry anyway about last Interview too!

Toadette Koopa: Sorry, doesn't cut the cheese. I'm still angry!

Lakitu: (Homer Simpson voice) Mmmm... Cheese...

Toadette Koopa: Anyway, I'm interviewing my favorite Koopaling, Lemmy Koopa!

ShyGal Daisy: He's my favorite, too!

(Toadette Koopa and ShyGal Daisy stare at each other until Lakitu jumps between them.)

Lakitu: I... like... chocolate... milk.

(Toadette Koopa kicks Lakitu off his cloud into a lake that magically appears.)

Lakitu: S-s-s-s-so c-c-c-c-cold!

Lemmy: Cool! An ice cold lake that magically appeared!

(Lemmy jumps in and sighs.)

Lemmy: This is the life!

(Toadette Koopa stares at Lemmy for a long time.)

Lemmy: Stop starring at me like you're in love!

Toadette Koopa: Ok. First question, why do you like the cold?

Lemmy: When I was 3, Ludwig shoved me in a freezer and locked me in there for two years. I adapted to the temperature over time and now I can stand temperatures under -1,000 degrees Fahrenheit.

Toadette Koopa: Didn't anyone worry about you while you were in the freezer?

Lemmy: No because Ludwig made a clone to replace me.

Toadette Koopa: Why did he put you in there?

Lemmy: He was sick of me complaining about how cold Ice Land is.

Toadette Koopa: Why did he make a clone if it would complain too?

Lemmy: Ludwig made the clone a certain way so that it wouldn't complain no matter what.

Toadette Koopa: Why are you named Lemmy?

Lemmy: I'm named after Lemmy Kilmeister. He's the bass player for Motorhead.

Toadette Koopa: That sounds like some cheesy 70's band.

Motorhead: We're not cheesy!

Toadette Koopa: How did you get in here?
 
Motorhead: You're outside. Anyone can walk up and do something.
 
Toadette Koopa: Sick 'em, ShyGal Daisy!!!
 
(ShyGal Daisy leaps in the air to kill Motorhead, but Lemmy freezes her in midair with his Freeze Gun and she falls.)
 
Lemmy: No one touches my Motorhead!
 
Lemmy Kilmeister: Hey, thanks, you stupid turtle kid!
 
Lemmy: Cool! It's Lemmy Kilmeister!
 
(Lemmy tackles the band, but they disappear in midair.)
 
Bowser: Hey Lemmy, I got ten tickets to see Motorhead at the Poland Springs Arena.
 
Lemmy: What's this Poland Springs Arena of which you speak?
 
Bowser: I dunno. It had something to do with tacos, and this thing named Toadette Koopa will be there to kill me or something like that.
 
(Toadette Koopa shoots Bowser with her shell cannons.)
 
Toadette Koopa: Why do you rule Ice Land?
 
Lemmy: I love penguins. Also when I was little, I played with ice cubes a lot. King Dad thought it would be right like Wendy and Water Land. I also like to play in the ice and snow!
 
Toadette Koopa: But you said that before you were three you didn't like the cold that much. Why did you play with ice cubes?
 
Lemmy: I've always liked ice cubes because they don't cause you to freeze to death. They could if you were in a bathtub full of them.
 
Ludwig: I'm glad he never found out who put those ice cubes in the tub when he fell asleep three years ago.
 
Lemmy: I did. I'm burning  you for it, too!
 
Ludwig: Uh oh.
 
(Lemmy pulls out Toadette Koopa's flamethrower and chases Ludwig in circles until he burns him.)
 
Lemmy: I love the smell of burning Ludwig.
 
Toadette Koopa: You're on fire, too.
 
Lemmy: Oh look, I'm on fire. I'M ON FIRE!!! ROLL, STOP,  DROP!!!
 
Toadette Koopa: While you're burning, I'll ask you more questions. Are you and Iggy actually twins?
 
Lemmy: HELP ME!!!
 
Toadette Koopa: Don't worry! I'll spray you with this thing that says see-through coffee on it.
 
(Toadette Koopa spray's Lemmy and Lemmy screams so loud that people on Earth can hear it.)
 
Toadette Koopa: Oops. That made it worse.
 
Lakitu: I'll solve it.
 
Toadette Koopa: Where were you this whole time?
 
Lakitu: Playing New Super Mario Bros.
 
Toadette Koopa: Put it out!
 
(Lakitu starts spitting on Lemmy and stomps on him.)
 
Lemmy: THANK YOU!!!
 
Toadette Koopa: Are you and Iggy really twins?
 
Lemmy: No. We hung around each other so much, we started finishing each others sentences and stuff like that. Iggy even got a mohawk!
 
Toadette Koopa: Do you have a girlfriend?
 
Lemmy: No, but I hope to have one soon.
 
Toadette Koopa: (I hope he loves me enough to ask me to be his girlfriend!!!)
 
Lemmy: Cassie does look cute, though, so maybe I wou-
AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
 
(Roy, Morton, Toadette Koopa, and ShyGal Daisy attack Lemmy.)
 
Lemmy: NO!!! NOT A NOOGIE!!!! I'M TOO YOUNG TO GET KARATE-CHOPPED!!! MOMMY!!! NO, NOT A SPEECH!!! I'M SUEING TOADETTE  KOOPA!!!
 
Roy: STOP SAYING...
 
Morton: YOU LIKE CASSIE...
 
Roy and Morton: OR ELSE!!!
 
Toadette Koopa: SAY YOU LIKE ME NOW!!! I'LL FIRE YOU IF YOU DON'T!!!
 
ShyGal Daisy: I LOVE KARATE!!! BEING A PURPLE BELT IS GREAT!!!
 
Lemmy: OK!!! I DON'T LIKE CASSIE AND I LIKE TOADETTE KOOPA!!! OW!!! STOP CHOPPING ME!!!
 
Roy, Morton, and Toadette Koopa: THAT'S BETTER!!!
 
Lemmy: Stop yelling, please.
 
Toadette Koopa: Sorry!
 
Lemmy: Can Roy ask me a question?
 
Roy: How do you ride a ball again?
 
Lemmy: Ludwig taught me how to balance myself on it. I learned the tricks by practicing.
 
Toadette Koopa: Morton.
 
Morton: Why do you have a mohawk?
 
Lemmy: It makes me look cool!
 
Toadette Koopa: Well that's enough for today! See you next time for T.Koopa Interviews!
 
Lemmy: T.Koopa Interviews! Watch it or you'll die! NOW!!!!
 
Toadette Koopa: End Transmission!

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