EGG GUY interviews YELLOW VIRUS

By The Dryest Bones

Kamek: Dryest Bones!

The Dryest Bones: Yes, slavedriver?

Kamek: Quit that! Anyway, time for my foot scrub!

)Kamek takes off his boots and shows off two shriveled up, moldy prunes that he calls feet!)

The Dryest Bones: NO! My hands are getting very angry with you, and my feet are doing the ANGRY dance!

Right Hand: YEAH!

Left Foot: ANGRY!

Kamek: FINE! I'll quit it. But in return, stop making me do your Interviews.

The Dryest Bones: WE'VE ONLY HAD TWO!

Kamek: And I was in both.

The Dryest Bones: WHATEVER! I'll just go outside...

(The Dryest Bones goes outside and sees a Shy Guy walking inside a Yoshi egg.)

Egg Guy: Hi!

The Dryest Bones: GWAH!

(The Dryest Bones takes Egg Guy to his studio with Kamek.)

Egg Guy: What's going on? Who are you guys?

Kamek: UHG! The third Interview and STILL nobody knows us!

The Dryest Bones: That's besides the point... You're doing my next Interview and are part of my krew!

Egg Guy: Then why did you kidnap me and strap me to the Interview chair? I'd have done it out of good will anyway.

The Dryest Bones: If you ever saw Kamek's feet, you'd know why...

Egg Guy: How bad could it be?

(Kamek shows him his feet...)

Egg Guy: MY EYES! MY MASK IS GOING TO MELT!

(Kamek hides his feet...)

Egg Guy: I'll do whatever you want, just don't show them to me again! AAAH!

The Dryest Bones: YES! Finally, a Shy Guy!

Kamek: It's only the third Interview. Why "finally?"

The Dryest Bones: Come Kamek, our oasis awaits!

Kamek: Why don't we live there?

The Dryest Bones: I only talk about it in the Interviews, that's why.

Kamek: Makes sense to me!

Egg Guy: Can we just get on with the Interview?

Kamek: Sure! Bagityblag!

(Egg Guy gets transported to the Interview studio.)

Egg Guy: Hello, and welcome to...

Lemmy: LEMMY'S INTERVIEW SHOW!

Egg Guy: Someone likes Caps Lock... Anyway, I'm shrinking the studio today. SMALLIFY!

(Egg Guy shrinks everything to the size of a pea.)

Egg Guy: Today, I interview Yellow Virus.

Blue Virus: Hello everyone!

Egg Guy: Security!

(A Dark Bones, still normal size, squishes the Virus.)

Yellow Virus: Howdy, everyone!

Egg Guy: First question, why are you soooo annoying to Dr. Mario? You know he's just going to throw vitamins at you.

Yellow Virus: Well, it's fun. Why does Bowser kidnap Peach? Why do you terrorize Toad Town?

Egg Guy: Good point... Next question, why don't you move when Dr. Mario is trying to eliminate you?

Yellow Virus: There are CHEESE chemicals in the bottle. We are all deeply allergic to cheese, and it makes us freeze and quiver our knees!

Egg Guy: NO RHYMING!

Mario: CHEESE, PLEASE!

Egg Guy: Security!

(The same Dark Bones squishes Mario.)

Dark Bones: Ewwww, I stepped in some gum! I wonder what flaver it is?

Mario: I'm CHEESE flavored!

Dark Bones: EEWWWWWWWWWWW!

The Dryest Bones: I agree!

Dark Bones: When did you get here?

The Dryest Bones: Where is my studio?

(The Bones carry out a conversation for a while, then leave.)

Egg Guy: O...k... Note to self, do not shrink studio again.

Yellow Virus: Is the Interview over?

Egg Guy: OF COURSE NOT! Audience questions. Seat STILLTOOFARAWAYFORYOUTOSEEMEINAWHITELABCOAT.

???: How do you feel about Dr. Luigi?

Yellow Virus: Who?

(??? steps out and reveals himself to be Luigi in a coat.)

Dr Luigi: Oh COME ON! Doesn't anyone know me?

Egg Guy: Kamek told me! You're... Betty!

Dr. Luigi: IT'S LUIGI!

Egg Guy: Whatever! Guard!

(Dark Bones steps on Betty.)

Dr. Luigi: Oh come ON! Even the WRITER can't get it right!

Writer: Don't blame me!

Egg Guy: Whatever, seat IDONTLIKESHYGUYS!

Purple Yoshi: Unlock the eight gate, Gate of Death!

(Purple Yoshi does what the Stork did last interview and gets eaten by Bowser.)

Bowser: I love this studio! Fresh meat EVERY INTERVIEW! Anyway, how do you feel about your bros, Red and Blue?

Yellow Virus: Well, Red is WAY too annoying and angry. Blue's always sad and depressed. Overall, I hate them.

Egg Guy: So you guys are representing different emotions?

Yellow Virus: YEP! I'm happy.

Egg Guy: Thank DAD I didn't interview Red!

Red: You're welcome!

Egg Guy: That's all of the time we have for today, folks!

Yellow Virus: What? You aren't somehow going to humiliate or destroy me?

Egg Guy: Oops, I almost forgot!

(Egg Guy makes a Yoshi eat Yellow Virus.)

Yoshi: Yoshi happy!

The Page turned, and the Yoshis grew happier!

Back at the oasis...

The Dryest Bones: So, your interview go well?

Egg Guy: It went okay...

The Dryest Bones: You did remember to destroy or humiliate the Virus, right?

Egg Guy: YEP!

The Dryest Bones: Then you're in! You have to do all of my stuff that I don't want to!

Kamek: YES! FREE!

The Dryest Bones: Take us off, Lemmy.

Lemmy: End transmission.

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