EGGY GUY interviews KING WHOMP

By The Dryest Bones

The Dryest Bones: Well, I did my second interview somehow...

Kamek: Great job... You want a pizza?

The Dryest Bones: NO! That's what got me forced to do the Interview in the first place!

Egg Guy: I WANT THE PIZZA!

Kamek: Well, ya gotta do my Interview for me!

Egg Guy: But it's YOUR turn.

Kamek: Then I guess it's MY pizza!

Egg Guy: You win!

The Dryest Bones: Now THAT'S the spirit! So, off you go!

(The Dryest Bones hits a button and sends him off to the studio.)

The Dryest Bones: Now, where was that free pizza giveaway?

Kamek: Hooray!

At the studio...

Egg Guy: Hello, and welcome to...

(Nothing happens.)

Egg Guy: WELCOME TO...

(Still nothing.(

Egg Guy: Welcome TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:

(Absolutely nothing!)

Egg Guy: WHERE IS LEMMY?

In a Pizza Shack far, far away...

The Dryest Bones: This is great, huh Lemmy?

Lemmy: Lemmy's Interview Show! Yes it is!

Back at the Interview...

Egg Guy: Today, I interview the powerful King Whimp!

99% of the Audience: Hehehehehe!

Mario: CHEESE!

King Whomp: That's WHOMP!

Egg Guy: Grrrrrrrrrr, KAMEK! HOW DARE YOU WRITE MY SCRIPT WRO... I mean, terribly sorry.

King Whomp: K, so are ya gunna ask me any questions?

Egg Guy: Right! So, why are you only in Super Mario 64 (DS)?

King Whomp: Well, I was such an easy boss (yo mama didn't figure out how to kill Big Bob-omb, but she could figure out me), Nintendo lost all interest in a block of concrete, so I went into retirement!

Egg Guy: NO YO MAMA JOKES! I mean, how are you KING Whomp?

King Whomp: Well, I'm big.

Egg Guy: ANYONE can be BIG!

(Egg Guy shrinks the studio.)

King Whomp: I see...

(Egg Guy unshrinks the studio.)

King Whomp: Well, I'm big, and Whomps are really, really stupid, so in their minds, Big equals King! They're dumber than anyone!

Egg Guy: NO WAY!

King Whomp: Would you like to wager on that?

Egg Guy: BRING IT ON!

King Whomp: I play, the dumbest Whomp!

Dumbest Whomp: I don't gots no brain!

Egg Guy: And I play MARIO!

Mario: I'm-a-Mario!

Dumbest Whomp: You win!

Mario: Mamamia!

King Whomp: IDIOT! Well, you won! Here's the keys to my car!

Egg Guy: YOU DON'T HAVE A CAR!!!

King Whomp: Oh yeah... That idiot was my brother!

Plit: 0_0!

Egg Guy: BACK TO INTERVIEW!

Stuffwell: My line!

Egg Guy: Grrrrrrr!

(Egg Guy takes a Shy Pill.)

Egg Guy: Anyway, why did you have the Power Star INSIDE you?

King Whomp: King Bowser told me to dispose of and guard it. My stomach was the safest place I could think of to hide it, and I was hungry.

Egg Guy: Time for audience questions! Seat IMALLHOTAIR!

Cloudjin: Why does it take only three hits to beat you? You look five times bigger than a regular Whomp.

King Whomp: Well, 3 is Nintendo's magic boss HP number, so a beginner boss like me only has three hits. It's the same with you!

Cloudjin: Don't rub it in...

Egg Guy: Seat IGOTLOTSOFNINTENDOGAMES!

9-Volt: (playing N64) I JUST BEAT YOU!

King Whomp: SMASH!

(King Whomp makes 9-Volt look like a pancake the cat dragged in, ate, and then threw up! Too literal? Bowser eats it anyway.)

Bowser: I miss the eighth gate grilled... ANYWAY, if I put you and Iggy in a battle, who would win?

King Whomp: Iggy...

Plit: 0_0

King Whomp: Well, my weakness is magic wands.

Bowser: What a lowlife! I should've made Ludwig or Lakithunder guard the Star...

King Whomp: I'm so sad now...

Egg Guy: Time to get sadder!

(A bulldozer comes and turns King Whomp into a road to the studio.)

Egg Guy: Well, I'll see you all next time on...

(Lemmy comes in, slightly fatter than normal.)

Lemmy: Lemmy's *urp* Interview Show!

Back at the after-Interview oasis...

The Dryest Bones: Here! You can have 20 pizzas! Just DON'T TALK!

Egg Guy: I'm silent...

Kamek: SHUT UP!

The Dryest Bones: Now, clean up the mess I made! And where is Kamek's apron? You know you NEED to wear it at all times...

Egg Guy: LEMMY!

Lemmy: End Transmission!

Kamek: Dang.

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