REFRIGERATOR interviews CHIEF CHILLY

By The Dryest Bones

Refrigerator: HOW DARE YOU REPLACE ME WITH CHIEF CHILLY?!

Chief Chilly: Hey, it paid two coins! Better than what I got as Bowser's minion.

Refrigerator: YOU NEVER PAID ME!

Kamek: Who are you yelling at?

Refrigerator: THE DRYEST BONES! ARE YOU BLIND?

Kamek: No, but are you?

Refrigerator: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

Kamek: You've been yelling at that cut-out for days.

(Refrigerator sees that he's yelling at a badly drawn Dryest Bones cut-out.)

Refrigerator: WHERE IS HE?

Kamek: The Interview studio.

Refrigerator: I'LL FREEZE HIM!

Egg Guy: You can't. The studio has a strict "no less than 70 degrees" policy.

Refrigerator: THEN I'LL RE-KILL HIM!

Yishotimi: Then, you would be breaking the contract that let's you come into these Interviews.

Refrigerator: NOW WHAT?

Chief Chilly: I could let you be Refrigerator.

Refrigerator: You'd do that?

Chief Chilly: Sure. I got a job at Wario Ware anyway!

(Suddenly Meta Knight enters the room.)

Meta Kinght: Hello, everyone...

Yishotimi: Who are you?

Meta Kinght: I'm The Dryest Bones's lawyer.

Egg Guy: Oh yeah... That's where our authentic Halberd apartment came from!

Meta Kinght: Chief Chilly, in the fine print of the contract you signed with The Dryest Bones, you have to be either interviewed.

Kamek: (glasses 20 times bigger than usual) He's right!

Chief Chilly: All right! One Interview, and I'm on easy street!

At the Interview studio...

Refrigerator: Hello, foolish mortals, undead, machines, and some other stuff I'm too lazy to mention. Welcome to...

Lemmy: LEMMY'S INTERVIEW SHOW!

Refrigerator: Does it say anything in the rules about this guy?

Meta Kinght: (holding a rulebook) No.

(Refrigerator freezes Lemmy.)

Lemmy: ICE! Aahhhhhh! So relaxing!

Refrigerator: Today, I interview the foolish Ice Bully, Chief Chilly!

Chief Chilly: Hello, foolish ones!

Audience: Hi!

Refrigerator: All right, so what exactly are you?

Chief Chilly: I'm the Chief of Ice Bullies.

Refrigerator: What exactly made you bigger than the other Ice Bully?

Chief Chilly: I spent my entire childhood eating spinach and staying in an ice-cold lake, which made my body grow.

Refrigerator: So, why did you survive a fall off a cliff when Big Bully couldn't?

Chief Chilly: Well, I...

Refrigerator: NEXT QUESTION!

Chief Chilly: But I...

Refrigerator: I'll let you finish sentences as soon as Winnie the Pooh explodes.

Doopliss: Transform!

(Doopliss turns into a giant TV with Channel K for Koopa News.)

Kooporter (Koopa Reporter): This just in! We just learned The Dryest Bones has declared today annual Pie Day! And now, for the real story! Our sources have indicated that Winnie the Pooh has exploded due to the fact that he has eaten all of the honey in his Woods. Piglet has gone on an emotional rampage. This is Kooporter, saying that I LIKE PIE!

(Doopliss turns back to normal.)

Refrigerator: Dang it! Stupid hardware store guy jinxing curse!

Chief Chilly: Well, my manly-man moustache protected me from breaking. But after three tries, it got tired, and I really did get hurt.

Refrigerator: AUDIENCE QUESTIONS! Ummm, EGG GUY, WHERE ARE MY CUE CARDS?

Egg Guy: Ummmm, Pokey ate them?

Audience: Pokey, Pokey, Pokey!

(Refrigerator freezes Pokey. Somehow, he really had the cue cards.)

Refrigerator: Seat IKNOWKUNGFUMAN!

Chan: Why did you jump in Mario Kart DS? Couldn't you do something else?

Chief Chilly: I wanted Luigi to have the same fate as me in 64 DS. Also, none of my attacks worked on the kart.

Refrigerator: Seat THATGUYINTHELASTSEATWASNAMEDAFTERME!

Jackie Chan: HOW did you jump in Mario Kart DS?

Chief Chilly: I had springboards attached to my feet!

Jackie Chan: HA! IN YOUR FACE, BRUCE LEE!

Bruce Lee: Don't rub it in. I know when I'm wrong.

Refrigerator: Seat YES!

Fred Fredburger: Do you like frozen yogurt?

Chief Chilly: Yes!

Fred Fredburger: Yes! Do you like nachos?

Chief Chilly: (in Fred's voice): Yes!

Fred Fredburger: Do you like frozen yogurt?

Chief Chilly: (in a very demonic voice) NO!

Fred Fredburger: Yes!

(Fred is sent on an amusement park ride and flies off into the sky.)

Refrigerator: ANY MORE IDIOTS?

(A Whomp, a Goomba, and a specific Gabon raise their hands.)

V A Gabon: You're stupid!

Refrigerator: SUPERSECURITY!

(Those characters from Dragon Tales come out and start talking about sharing. The people explode, and so do the Dragon Tales guys.)

Refrigerator: Seat IAMTHEULTIMATEEVIL!

Jr Troopa: Well, it's true!

Plit: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jr Troopa: Anyway, why did you imprison Wario? Not many people really like him too much.

Chief Chilly: Goomboss and King Boo wanted revenge. Since I didn't have anything to be revengeful about, I led the fat guy to my room and trapped him.

Refrigerator: Seat JUDGEMENT!

The Dryest Bones: Well, it's about time I got a line! Anyway, keep going!

Refrigerator: Well, that's all the time we have for today, so...

(Refrigerator takes out a piece of poison cheese. It's so evil, it melts Chief Chilly.)

Mario: CHEESE!

(Mario eats the cheese and burps, KOing or killing every mortal in the audience.)

The Dryest Bones: Lemmy!

(Lemmy tries to end transmission, but he is frozen and can't move.)

The Dryest Bones: Well fridgey, you did a great job.

Refrigerator: Thanks.

The Dryest Bones: And...

A rainbow background appears behind The Dryest Bones along with cheery music.

The Dryest Bones: YOU FAIL!

(The Dryest Bones unplugs Refrigerator, which thaws out Lemmy.)

Refrigerator: I WON'T FORGET THIS! Memory deleted!

(Refrigerator falls to the floor lifeless.)

Lemmy: Thanks, it was getting hard to breathe in there! Now, END TRANSMISSION!

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