The Dryest Bones: (playing Yoshi's Island) Must... beat... castle!

Dr. Mario: He's-a been like-a this for-a how long?

Kamek: A month...

Dr. Mario: He's THAT bad at it?

Kamek: The only reason he got to Raphael's castle in the first place was that Yishotimi and I played for him during his bathroom breaks. IT'S FREAKY! MAKE IT STOP!

Dr. Mario: That's a good idea!

Egg Guy: I wanna get paid.

Yishotimi: I want a turn!

The Dryest Bones: GRRRRRRRRRR!

(The Dryest Bones bites at Yishotimi like a rabid squirrel.)

Yishotimi: EEP!

The Dryest Bones: OOHHH!!! I get banished to the heavens with a giant black bird-thing!

Giant Black Bird-thing (from inside the game): That's Raphael the Raven to you!

The Dryest Bones: AAAAHHHHHH!!! The TV is talking to me!

(The Dryest Bones faints.)

Dr. Mario: I'll have him un-insane in a week for one million coins.

Kamek: Where are we going to get that?

Dr. Mario: Well, do you still have Tap Tap the Golden?

Kamek: Yeah, he's all I have left...

Dr. Mario: Well, I'll-a take him!

Kamek: Fine...

(Dr. Mario takes Tap Tap, then leaves.)

Raphael: HEY! Getting lonely in here! GET ME OUT!

Yishotimi: How?

Raphael: I'll let you beat me.

Toad: OK!

Egg Guy: When did you get here?

Toad: I'm the janitor that no one knows! YAY!

Yishotimi: Could you please let me-

Toad: I WIN! YAY!

(Toad leaves. Raphael comes out of the TV, and Egg Guy faints.)

Raphael: Is he going to be okay?

Kamek: TOAD!

(Toad gets all of these doctor tools on and checks out Egg Guy.)

Toad: He's OK!

Yishotimi: Why didn't we just use him?

Kamek: We didn't know he existed until just now.

Toad: OK!

(Toad leaves again.)

Raphael: So... can I get interviewed?

Kamek: You WANT to be interviewed?

(Yishotimi faints.)

Kamek: Well, it looks like I have to do it. But first...

(Kamek makes a phone call. Meta Knight writes a contract that pays Kamek 100 pizzas. Kamek forges The Dryest Bones's signature.)

Kamek: All right, NOW we can go!

(Kamek speeds to the Interview studio on his broom. Raphael holds on with his feet.)

A few minutes later...

Kamek: Hello, and welcome to...

Lemmy: LEMMY'S INTERVIEW SHOW!

Kamek: All right, today I interview my odd creation, Raphael the Raven!

Raphael: ODD?!

Kamek: All right, so how can you grab onto objects and defy gravity?

Raphael: The moon didn't have any gravity.

Kamek: What about OTHER Ravens?

Raphael: At birth, each Raven eats a worm inside a meteor. That lets them defy gravity when they feel like it.

Kamek: Why were you the Yoshis' god in Paper Mario?

Raphael: Several years later, I landed on Lavalava Island. The Yoshis there hadn't heard that I tried to kill their kin, so when I fell out of the sky, they instantly worshiped me.

Kamek: Why did you help Mario in that game?

Raphael: Hookbill's shell hit me in space and gave me amnesia.

Kamek: How are you remembering this now?

Raphael: I got hit in the head with a Chomp Rock when Mt. Lavalava erupted.

Kamek: All right, time for audience questions! Seat 13!

Salvo the Slime: 13?

Kamek: Yeah! Something will happen to you later...

Salvo: How do you launch shockwaves?

Raphael: The extreme weight that I have even rocked the moon. Didn't you notice that I'm stuck in the floor?

Salvo: Oh...

(Salvo suddenly gets eaten by Giant Baby Bowser.)

Giant Baby Bowser: KAMEK! YOU A BIG DOODIE-HEAD! YOU FOOD NO GOOD!

Kamek: UGH! Seat DADDYI'MSAD!

Sad Raven: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Why did you stop sometimes when charging Yoshi? Stopping made me sad! WHAAAAAAAA!!!

Raphael: I got tired.

Kamek: That's it?

Raphael: Yes.

Kamek: Seat MYINTERVIEWSHOW!

Lemmy: Since when am I a seat? Anyway, why do you only take three hits to beat, when Sluggy the Unshaven took four?

Raphael: The worm that I ate dug away at my muscles. It's a bargain, and a dumb one.

Kamek: Wow... Should've replaced you with Baseball Boy or Zeus Guy... Time for the...

Audience: PAIN BUTTON!

Raphael: I didn't come here for this.

Kamek: PUSH!

(Raphael has to eat 100 of the meteor worms he spoke about. Then, he becomes a weakling that can’t move.)

Kamek: Well, that's all the time we have for today...

Baby Bowser: NO! Me no wanna Interview to be ovuh!

Kamek: But young master, it is!

Baby Bowser: WHAAAAAA!!!

(Baby Bowser crushes Kamek and kicks him off of the stage.)

Baby Bowser: See you awl next time!

At the oasis...

Lemmy: Ummm, everyone on this show is either KO'ed or hospitalized, so... END TRANSMISSION!

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