YISHOTIMI interviews DONKEY KONG JR

By The Dryest Bones

The Dryest Bones: I'm out of my coma!

Kamek: NOOOOO! It's TOO SOON! I just got my back fixed!

Kamek faints and goes into a coma.

The Dryest Bones: Wow, that was easy! It serves him right for beating Yoshi's Island for me! Now, to wake up Yishotimi and force him to interview for me!

(The Dryest Bones quickly wakes up Yishotimi.)

The Dryest Bones: The Marios are coming!

Yishotimi: Where?

The Dryest Bones: That was fun... Anyway, you're interviewing today!

Yishotimi: HOORAY!

The Dryest Bones: You have to interview some monkey...

Yishotimi: HOORAY!

The Dryest Bones: And pay for Kamek's coma.

Yishotimi: BOO!

Boo: Please stop calling me!

The Dryest Bones: I'll just take it out of your paycheck...

(The Dryest Bones takes out a calculator.)

The Dryest Bones: Carry the five... For the next 12 3/4 years!

Yishotimi: Fine... the job is worth it!

The Dryest Bones: 0.0

Yishotimi: I'll go!

(Yishotimi goes into a doomship and flies to the studio.)

At the studio...

Yishotimi: Welcome, everyone, to...

Lemmy: LEMMY'S INTERVIEW SHOW!

Yishotimi: So happy to be here! Anyway, today, I interview...

(Yishotimi looks behind his chair.)

Monty Mole no one can see: Donkey Kong Jr.

Yishotimi: DONKEY KONG JR!

(DK Jr. swings on a vine to the stage. A Klaptrap from Donkey Kong Country falls onto his head.)

DK Jr: Goo-HOO!

Yishotimi: TRANSLATION!

DK Jr: No, me can speak English. Me just don't like to. Hurts the lower jaw.

Yishotimi: All right, so where are you on the Kong Family Tree?

DK Jr: I'm the current DK's father, and Cranky Kong's son.

Yishotimi: How can YOU be DK's father?

DK Jr: Well, Cranky is DK's grandpa, and was the original Donkey Kong (shown in Donkey Kong Country by the title, and his random babbling). I was Cranky's son, so, therefore, I'm Donkey Kong with a tie's father.

Audience: 0.0

Yishotimi: Why weren't you invincible like your old man?

DK Jr: He ate a Golden Banana on DK Isle. I had never been there, and he hadn't expected to get a son.

Yishotimi: Is Mario still your enemy?

DK Jr: Well, my son originally patched things up with him in Mario Kart 64. I did in Mario Tennis. My father, Cranky, and my mother, Wrinkly, have never patched things up with him. So no, he's not.

Yishotimi: Time for audience questions! Seat ILEARNEDMYLESSON!

Bowser: I won't eat anyone anymore. Anyway, why haven't you shown your face after Mario Tennis 64?

DK Jr: During the Mario Tennis Tournament, I hit Mario in the head and beat him. Because of that accident, Mario decided to ban me from Plit until he sees it fit for me to return.

Yishotimi: Seat ENEMYOFALL!

Mario: I'm-a Mario!

Yishotimi: MY GUARD!

(A Mega Mole eats Mario.)

In Mole's stomach...

Mario: It's-a dark in here!

Fake Bowser: It sure is...

Back to the Interview...

Yishotimi: Seat TAXITOOUTERSPACE!

Dribble: Why are you smaller than your son?

DK Jr: Bananas are how Kong's grow. I dislike them. I personally prefer coconuts.

Yishotimi: Seat RANDOMCAMEO!

Tucan Sam: Were you wearing the same red and white, the flavor of cherry and lemon, uniform in Mario Tennis that you did in Donkey Kong Junior?

DK Jr: Yes, now DIE!

(DK Jr begins rapidly pounding Tucan Sam's head for no good reason.)

Yishotimi: Seat IMABEANAFICIALPERSON!

Queen Bean: Why did you hit yourself when you missed a shot in Mario Tennis?

DK Jr (still beating up Sam): Force of habit.

Yishotimi: PAIN BUTTON!

Audience: YAY!

Yishotimi: PUSH!

(DK Jr is beaten to his death by Tucan Sam's sons.)

Yishotimi: That's all, folks!

At the oasis...

The Dryest Bones: Doctor.

Toad: OK!

The Dryest Bones: Could you move Kamek onto that nice, safe, busy freeway over there? Where he is right now, I can't reach the pizza bars in the snack machine.

Toad: OK!

Yishotimi: Well, I did good!

The Dryest Bones: Great... The Wiggler Gang took Egg Guy again, so I have to do some stuff next time. Lemmy!

Lemmy: END TRANSMISSION!

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