P.T.’S GANG interviews CHUCK QUIZMO

By P.T. Piranha

Spike: Too lazy to say it.

Kyle: Ohla! Welcome to the Interview show!

Shrooby: Uh, since P.T. hasn’t been letting us interview lately, he agreed to let us interview.

Punchy: All of us.

Bogmire: Except for P.T.

Shrike: Interviewing someone.

Bill: Shrike, give me a dollar.

Shrike: Uh, can it wait?

Bill: No. Give me a dollar.

Shrike: Fine.

(Shrike gives Bill the dollar.)

P.T.: Uh, I’m just here to say that you should start, now. Chuck Quizmo! Come on up!

(He does.)

___________________________

P.T.: Now nobody can stop me from unveiling my new device!

(A giant machine shaped like the Kool-aid guy is shown.)

Egg: Sir, Kody has sent for someone to take Dual Dragon back to him for defusion.

(The spies from Totally Spies appear.)

P.T.: AAAH! I hate that show. Super Fist of the Nosehair: Minivan Attack!

(P.T. kills the Spies with a fully loaded minivan.)

___________________________

Spike: Chuck, how do you always get from town to town?

Chuck: Hover car. It’s awesome.

Kyle: How did you meet Senorita Vanna T?

Chuck: She did the best at the auditions.

Kyle: I thought it was because you like her!

Chuck: Uh… NEXT QUESTION!

Shrooby: How do you disappear into your hat?

Chuck: It’s a magic hat.

Punchy: What are you?

Chuck: A worm… thing.

Bogmire: Where are you normally?

Chuck: I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Bogmire:…

Shrike: Why do you disappear after Mario passes tests?

Chuck: I feel that my work there is done.

Shrike: I thought it was because-

Chuck: Next question!

Bill: Where do you get the Star Pieces? (whispering) Give me a dollar.

Chuck: I won them in Deal or No Deal, before they started giving money as the prize. (whispering) No way, bonehead!

Bill: I thought you stole them.

Chuck: Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it?

Bill: …

________

Strip of bacon: Sir, Kody is mad that you killed the Spies, so he’s going to do a wolf-thing to you.

(P.T. chucks a bomb out the window, somehow blasting Kody to Hyrule. Link then knocks him to wherever Metroid games take place.)

________

Spike: Audience questions. Seat SENSAI.

The Master: Are there any more of your kind?

Chuck: Yes.

Kyle: Seat DRAGONMUTANT.

Dual Dragon (still fused as one): Do you appear in any town that wasn’t in Paper Mario?

Chuck: No. Because… I can’t reveal that.

Shrooby: Seat POWERRANGERPARODY.

Axem Red: Why do you only appear in Paper Mario?

Chuck: I only appear where I’m needed. I’m a part-time superhero. D’oh! I just revealed my secret identity! Dual Dragon, that’s also why I couldn’t answer your question. Wait, why am I still talking about it?! AAUGH!

(Chuck pulls out one of those things from Men In Black that wipes out people’s memories.)

Lemmy: Woah! Save that for after the Interview!

Chuck: You win this round.

Punchy: What does the superhero thing have to do with anything?

Chuck: Silence, non-believer!

Punchy: Seat NINJATURTLEPARODY.

Red Ninjakoopa: Where does the trivia stage that appears when you quiz someone come from?

Chuck: An illusion created by the hat.

Bogmire: Seat LEMMY’SMANSIONVILLAIN.

King Boo: How come you don’t appear in some of the towns in Paper Mario?

Chuck: I don’t like those places because the people I quizzed there cheated. Even though I got even by burning their houses, I still decided to stay away. That’s why some of the houses in Gusty Gulch are destroyed.

King Boo: ...

Shrike: Seat YABOOYABOOOYAMAA.

E. Gadd: Why do you appear twice in Toad Town?

Chuck: It’s big enough. (threateningly) You got a problem with that?!

Bill: Seat JUSTASGREEDYASIAM.

Wario: Give me a dollar.

Bill: Give me a dollar.

Wario: NEVAH!

Bill: Same here! Seat FILLER.

Waluigi: Do you want to appear again?

Chuck: I only appear by coincidence... Maybe.

Spike: Why are you so calm, for a guy shouting “KA-WHIZZZ!”? Mostly. Sometimes.

Chuck: I switched to decaf.

Spike: …

Hmmm. People have been saying that a lot lately.

Chuck: You got a problem with that?!

______

Pancake: Sir, since you knocked Kody to another planet, E-Man is coming to kill you.

(E-Man appears, and eats the pancake. He tries to pull out the Star Rod, but Bowser takes it.)

Bowser: I need it for Paper Mario!

P.T.: Now what, ERIK?!

E-Man: AAH! The real name! It burns!

(E-Man explodes, but reforms in his studio.)

_______

Lemmy: That’s it! Go home!

(The audience leaves. Soon…)

Lemmy: How is your device going?

P.T.: I destroyed it for no real reason. End Transmission!

Transmission Ended.

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