Spike: Too lazy to say it.
Kyle: Ohla! Welcome to the Interview show!
Shrooby: Uh, since P.T. hasn’t been letting us interview lately, he agreed to let us interview.
Punchy: All of us.
Bogmire: Except for P.T.
Shrike: Interviewing someone.
Bill: Shrike, give me a dollar.
Shrike: Uh, can it wait?
Bill: No. Give me a dollar.
Shrike: Fine.
(Shrike gives Bill the dollar.)
P.T.: Uh, I’m just here to say that you should start, now. Chuck Quizmo! Come on up!
(He does.)
___________________________
P.T.: Now nobody can stop me from unveiling my new device!
(A giant machine shaped like the Kool-aid guy is shown.)
Egg: Sir, Kody has sent for someone to take Dual Dragon back to him for defusion.
(The spies from Totally Spies appear.)
P.T.: AAAH! I hate that show. Super Fist of the Nosehair: Minivan Attack!
(P.T. kills the Spies with a fully loaded minivan.)
___________________________
Spike: Chuck, how do you always get from town to town?
Chuck: Hover car. It’s awesome.
Kyle: How did you meet Senorita Vanna T?
Chuck: She did the best at the auditions.
Kyle: I thought it was because you like her!
Chuck: Uh… NEXT QUESTION!
Shrooby: How do you disappear into your hat?
Chuck: It’s a magic hat.
Punchy: What are you?
Chuck: A worm… thing.
Bogmire: Where are you normally?
Chuck: I’ll tell you when you’re older.
Bogmire:…
Shrike: Why do you disappear after Mario passes tests?
Chuck: I feel that my work there is done.
Shrike: I thought it was because-
Chuck: Next question!
Bill: Where do you get the Star Pieces? (whispering) Give me a dollar.
Chuck: I won them in Deal or No Deal, before they started giving money as the prize. (whispering) No way, bonehead!
Bill: I thought you stole them.
Chuck: Nice weather we’re having, isn’t it?
Bill: …
________
Strip of bacon: Sir, Kody is mad that you killed the Spies, so he’s going to do a wolf-thing to you.
(P.T. chucks a bomb out the window, somehow blasting Kody to Hyrule. Link then knocks him to wherever Metroid games take place.)
________
Spike: Audience questions. Seat SENSAI.
The Master: Are there any more of your kind?
Chuck: Yes.
Kyle: Seat DRAGONMUTANT.
Dual Dragon (still fused as one): Do you appear in any town that wasn’t in Paper Mario?
Chuck: No. Because… I can’t reveal that.
Shrooby: Seat POWERRANGERPARODY.
Axem Red: Why do you only appear in Paper Mario?
Chuck: I only appear where I’m needed. I’m a part-time superhero. D’oh! I just revealed my secret identity! Dual Dragon, that’s also why I couldn’t answer your question. Wait, why am I still talking about it?! AAUGH!
(Chuck pulls out one of those things from Men In Black that wipes out people’s memories.)
Lemmy: Woah! Save that for after the Interview!
Chuck: You win this round.
Punchy: What does the superhero thing have to do with anything?
Chuck: Silence, non-believer!
Punchy: Seat NINJATURTLEPARODY.
Red Ninjakoopa: Where does the trivia stage that appears when you quiz someone come from?
Chuck: An illusion created by the hat.
Bogmire: Seat LEMMY’SMANSIONVILLAIN.
King Boo: How come you don’t appear in some of the towns in Paper Mario?
Chuck: I don’t like those places because the people I quizzed there cheated. Even though I got even by burning their houses, I still decided to stay away. That’s why some of the houses in Gusty Gulch are destroyed.
King Boo: ...
Shrike: Seat YABOOYABOOOYAMAA.
E. Gadd: Why do you appear twice in Toad Town?
Chuck: It’s big enough. (threateningly) You got a problem with that?!
Bill: Seat JUSTASGREEDYASIAM.
Wario: Give me a dollar.
Bill: Give me a dollar.
Wario: NEVAH!
Bill: Same here! Seat FILLER.
Waluigi: Do you want to appear again?
Chuck: I only appear by coincidence... Maybe.
Spike: Why are you so calm, for a guy shouting “KA-WHIZZZ!”? Mostly. Sometimes.
Chuck: I switched to decaf.
Spike: …
Hmmm. People have been saying that a lot lately.
Chuck: You got a problem with that?!
______
Pancake: Sir, since you knocked Kody to another planet, E-Man is coming to kill you.
(E-Man appears, and eats the pancake. He tries to pull out the Star Rod, but Bowser takes it.)
Bowser: I need it for Paper Mario!
P.T.: Now what, ERIK?!
E-Man: AAH! The real name! It burns!
(E-Man explodes, but reforms in his studio.)
_______
Lemmy: That’s it! Go home!
(The audience leaves. Soon…)
Lemmy: How is your device going?
P.T.: I destroyed it for no real reason. End Transmission!
Transmission Ended.
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