KAMEK interviews CHARGIN' CHUCK

By The Dryest Bones

The Dryest Bones: YAY! Interview number 20! Unless you count some of those rejected ones...

Kamek: You mean like this one?

The Dryest Bones: NO! This one goes in sequence with the last one, so it can't be rejected, or else I'll rip open a hole in the space time continuum and doom all of Plit in another dimension.

Kamek: 0.0

The Dryest Bones: CHUCK!

Chuck: Yes?

The Dryest Bones: According to your hostage contract, you have to get interviewed, then zapped by a laser to be a permanent part of my Interview crew.

Chuck: All right.

Kamek: I don't want to do it!

The Dryest Bones: Which means you do want to, Kamek!

Kamek: NO!

The Dryest Bones: All right, fine, Kamek will just do it!

Kamek: NO!

The Dryest Bones: I'll take away all of your pizzas if you don't.

Kamek: Fine...

At the studio...

Kamek: Hello everyone, welcome to Kamek Interviews!

The Dryest Bones, Audience, and Lemmy: KAMEK INTERVIEWS?!

Kamek: I mean...

Lemmy: LEMMY'S INTERVIEW SHOW! Good comeback.

Kamek: Today, I interview our newest hostage- I mean, staff member, Chargin' Chuck!

Chuck: Hi!

Kamek: All right, so how do you get all of that sports stuff?

Chuck: I hide them in my shell.

Kamek: How? It's small compared to all of those footballs.

Chuck: I have an entire toy warehouse in my shell. It shrinks everything I put in there. When I use them, they turn back to regular size.

Kamek: Are all Chargin' Chucks named Chuck?

Chuck: No, I'm the first and only Chargin' Chuck named Chuck. Bowser just thought every Chargin' person was me, so he called them all Chuck.

Kamek: Oh... So, why do you all wear football stuff?

Chuck: We are all jocks, and football was the first thing Bowser liked that had protective stuff.

Kamek: Not hockey?

Chuck: No.

Kamek: So, do you have to be athletic to be a Chargin' Chuck?

Chuck: I'll let this guy answer for me.

Fred Fredburger: YES!

Kamek: Wasn't he banned?

Fred: YES!

Kamek: SECURITY!

(A Dark Bones throws Fred out of the window.)

Kamek: Time for the ever-so-humorous audience questions! Seat BOOM!

Boom Boom: Why does it take three hits to beat you, the same as me?

Chuck: Our bodies are strong and take two hits to beat. The football armor gives us the extra hit point.

Kamek: Seat DONTSAYIT!

Rob-omb: How is it you are fire-resistant, but can be KO'd by capes?

Chuck: Well Rob...

Rob: WHAT DID YOU AND THE AUTHOR CALL ME? GRRRRRRRRRRRR!

(Rob-omb blows up three rows of audience members.)

Chuck: Bowser reinforced our football armor with Reznor hide. However, unshown by the 2D graphics, our backs are really weak and unprotected. Mario spun around, and hit my weak spot.

Kamek: Seat INTERVIEWME!

Hookbill: I just HAD to pick THIS seat. Anyway, how did you always dig up those soccer ball-shaped rocks?

Chuck: We burried soccer balls covered in mud ten years before. They hardened, and we dug them out.

Kamek: Well, now I get to zap you with this laser.

(Chuck gets zapped with a laser that does nothing.)

Kamek: And now, I will kill off an audience member at random. That means you, LUDWIG!

Ludwig: Why me?

(Kamek never answers, but gives him Ghost T's Diary, open.)

Ghost T: YOU READ MY DIARY! DIE!

Ludwig's Ghost: Dang it.

At the after-Interview oasis...

The Dryest Bones: Haven't been here in a while.

Kamek: Yeah...

The Dryest Bones: Well, Chuck, you're hired officially! Now, you have to do Interviews and yell at Donald Trump.

Chuck: HOORAY!

The Dryest Bones: Now... LUIGI?

Luigi: Hi.

The Dryest Bones: What are YOU doing here?

Luigi: This is level 9-1 for Super Mario Brothers Two: Wart's Revenge, right?

The Dryest Bones: I dunno...

(The Dryest Bones looks in every part of Lemmy's Drawing Board.)

The Dryest Bones: Oh yeah... LEMMY!

Lemmy: END TRANSMISSION!

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