HOSTAGES interview WART

By The Dryest Bones

The Dryest Bones: DONALD TRUMP! WHY'D YOU FIRE EGG GUY?

Donald Trump: Because you hated him and he never helped you.

The Dryest Bones: That may be true, but it was fun to boss him around. Now I have to get a replacement!

Donald Trump: Don't blame me!

The Dryest Bones: But it's your fault.

Donald Trump: Did that ever stop you?

The Dryest Bones: I HATE YOU, LOGIC!

Kamek: Yeah...

Donald Trump: Besides, I'm going to buy you out for destroying that poor staff member. Besides, by now, you need a staff of five.

The Dryest Bones: Met...

Donald Trump: That DOESN'T include lawyers.

The Dryest Bones: Dang it...

Donald Trump: I'll be back in three hours. Get a new person on your staff, or become one of my tax offices. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Donald Trump leaves in his copter.)

The Dryest Bones: I give up!

Yishotimi: But all you have to do is find someone to join us! You can do it!

The Dryest Bones: No, this place is a death trap. I've asked everyone in Dry, Dry Desert, and they won't come willingly... BRAIN BLAST!

Kamek: Do you even have a brain?

The Dryest Bones: I'm not sure. But I don't care!

The Dryest Bones rushes out. One hour later, he comes back with 11 people and Wart.

Wart: I DON'T COUNT AS A PERSON?!

Well, you're the person being interviewed, so you don't count.

Wart: Oh, ok.

(The Dryest Bones then straps them onto chairs and takes out Lemmy's Freeze Gun that he bought on Ebay.)

Lemmy: HEY!

(The Dryest Bones then clones it, and makes the new one a disintegration gun. He gives the Freeze Gun back to Lemmy with no problems.)

Lemmy: I had to beg and pay a nickel!

Don't care! Anyway...

The Dryest Bones: All right, you 11 have been randomly chosen to interview this giant Koopa-wanabee, Wart. The winner will be part of my Interview crew. The losers, well...

(The Dryest Bones fires the gun at seat 11, which happens to be Kenny.)

The Dryest Bones: Any questions? And by that, I mean, any death wishes?

(No one raises their hand. The Dryest Bones kills No one, and then sees that nobody raised their hand.)

The Dryest Bones: To the nine of you left, good luck!

The Dryest Bones goes onto a sniping platform WAY up high.

The Dryest Bones: SEAT ONE!

Wendy: Why are you...

The Dryest Bones: WRONG!

(The Dryest Bones shoots Wendy.)

The Dryest Bones: SEAT 2!

Reznor: How do you breathe bubbles?

Wart: When I was young, I took bubblebaths. One day, Bowser decided to pull a little practical joke on me and pour bubblebath liquid down my gullet. It mixed with my stomach acid, and then I could breathe bubbles.

The Dryest Bones: SEAT 3!

Luigi:

The Dryest Bones: WRONG!

(The Dryest Bones shoots Luigi.)

The Dryest Bones: SEAT 4!

Magikoopa: Why are your bubbles poisonous?

Wart: My stomach has poison acid, sort of like Prince Froggy's.

The Dryest Bones: SEAT 7!

(The Dryest Bones shoots the people in seats 5 and 6.)

Garbage Can Ghost: Are you related to Prince Froggy?

Wart: Nope. He's really just a regular Froggy, named prince because Kamek shrunk Yoshi and that made it better.

The Dryest Bones: SEAT 9!

(The Dryest Bones blasts the Homer Simpson in Seat 8.)

Homer: D'oh!

Chargin' Chuck: Why are you weak to vegetables?

Wart: Well, I'm allergic, and Sub-con amplifies the power of vegetables to stronger-than-Thwomp strength.

The Dryest Bones: Seat 10!

Giant Dry Bones: Why do you turn red and white when you get hit a lot?

Wart: I'm part chameleon. When I'm hurt, I'm red. When I'm dead, I'm white.

The Dryest Bones: Well, say goodbye. Seats 2 and 10!

Reznor and Giant Dry Bones get vaporized.

The Dryest Bones: FINAL QUESTION ROUND!

Magikoopa: Why didn't you move from that platform?

Wart: Bowser beat me up as a kid. I was scared that the guys that beat him would be twice as tough on me, so I was scared to go down.

Garbage Can Ghost: Why did you imprison the Sub-con fairies?

Wart: If they all ganged up on me, they could easily defeat me (they can fly).

Chargin Chuck: Why are you a frog?

Wart: Kamek didn't like my attitude as a child, so he turned me into a frog and banished me to Sub-con.

The Dryest Bones: I've made my decision! Magikoopa, you did a great job. However, I already have Kamek. You can leave and join my secret underground army.

Magikoopa: YAY!

The Dryest Bones: Garbage... DIE!

(The Dryest Bones zaps Garbage Can Ghost.)

The Dryest Bones: Chuck. You are named Chuck, right?

Chuck: Right!

The Dryest Bones: You win! You will get interviewed, and then will be an official part of my crew.

Chuck: YAY!

The Dryest Bones: Now, there are only three things to do...

(The Dryest Bones rubs Chuck in Donald Trump's face figuratively and literally, kills Wart with his laser, and knocks Lemmy on the head.)

Lemmy: END TRANSMISSION!

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