P.T.: Time for another Interview. Start the Wheel of Interviewers!

(A wheel is shown with each of P.T.’s Gang’s faces. The spinners land on Spike and Shrike.)

P.T.: Now for the Darts of Disorder!

(P.T. throws a dart at a fast, spinning wheel. The dart lands, and the wheel stops. It lands on a Goomba.)

P.T.: Then Spike and Shrike will interview a Goomba!

Kyle: I must admit, Senor P.T. This new system of deciding who interviews, which seems to have come from nowhere, is really efficient! Plus, I don’t have to go beat up someone, until they agree to be interviewed!

P.T.: I miss that.

Kyle: I don’t.

Soon…

Spike: Why am I interviewing? I just interviewed Tubba Blubba!

P.T.: I’ve wanted you two to interview for a while, now. Deal with it!

Shrike: How could you have not interviewed a Goomba by now? That’s just sad!

P.T.: Silence, non-believer!

Shrike: …

Spike: How do you lift stuff without arms?

Goomba: Ever watch Veggie Tales? They pick up stuff, without arms, but still manage. We armless creatures are able to do that! You can see that when one of us is up to bat during Mario Baseball. My name is Gary.

P.T.: Are you Morton in a Goomba suit?

Gary: … No.

(P.T. does an “I’m watching you” thing to the Goomba, where you point to your eyes, and then to the person.)

Shrike: Why are you so weak?

Gary: We’re tiny creatures with no arms! You’d be weak, too!

Spike: Are you really traitors to the Mushroom Kingdom?

Gary: No. That’s just a myth.

Shrike: How come in Paper Mario games, your kind is made out to be smart?

Gary: A Goomba feature that Nintendo ignored until then.

Spike: What’s it like to be the second weakest thing on Plit?

Gary: Second weakest?

Spike: Dull Bones.

Gary: Ah. It’s rough. Our best-known pride is being able to beat up Dull Bones. They’re the only things we can beat.

Shrike: How do some Goombas become Paragoombas?

Gary: Sometimes, Goombas grow wings. But does that make a difference? Mario beats us, all the same!

Shrike: True, true. He and his brother, and their baby selves defeated me.

Spike: They defeated me. But there weren’t any babies.

Shrike: I was in a different game.

Spike: Can we hurry along? I want to go to bed!

Shrike: Uh, okay. Audience questions! Hmmm. The entire audience is Goombas.

Spike: Seat WHYAMIINAP.T.SUBMISSION,ANDNOTAGOLDENROADONE?.

Mr. Little: Why am I in a P.T. Piranha submission, and not a Golden Road one?

Spike: A question about the interviewee, idiot.

Mr. Little: Silence! I saw Susan leave Golden Road’s submissions. Is she here? I must kill her!

Spike: … No.

P.T.: Die!

(P.T. throws a Thwomp at Mr. Little.)

Shrike: …

P.T.: What? He stole my wallet.

Spike: The same wallet that Bill just stole?

(P.T. sees Bill sneaking off with his wallet.)

P.T.: I’m going to go and do bad things to Bill, now.

(P.T. goes away, but you can hear the sounds of Bill winning the fight.)

Shrike: Ignoring the insanity, seat IHAVETWONAMES,ISN’TTHATNEAT?.

Goomboss: How come you appear in Mario Baseball, but not in Super Mario Strikers? You’d be better for Strikers than Baseball!

Gary: We’d be mistaken for the ball too many times. You know that.

Goomboss: I forgot.

Gary: …

Spike: Seat SPINY.

Spiky Goomba: How do you get those hats that make you into Spiky Goombas like us?

Gary: We buy them. We can have them without the spikes, and we’d be like the ones in Rogueport. You should know that.

Spiky Goomba: I forgot.

Gary: …

P.T.: Everyone leave! You’re all losers! … And someone get that Goomba back in Golden Road’s stories!

(The Goomba Bros. from Seat REDGOOMBA and Seat BLUEGOOMBA take Mr. Little back to Golden Road’s stories. Everyone leaves but Gary.)

P.T.: Gary, would you like to join us?

Spike: Why? He’s a wimp!

P.T.: That’s what the Sub-conians want you to think!

Spike: …

Gary: Uh, I guess.

Do! Do, do, do, do! Gary joined the party!

Gary: Do random things happen a lot?

Spike: You have no idea what you’ve done. But don’t worry. You’re only official once you’ve interviewed.

Gary: I’m out of here!

(Gary runs away, and P.T. follows.)

Spike and Shrike: …

Lemmy: End Transmission! Say, why haven’t I appeared ye-

Transmission Ended.

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