(P.T. is sitting backstage of the studio, drinking root beer and eating pizza out of a box while watching something on a mini TV. Lemmy enters.)

Lemmy: … Do you hang out here all day?!

P.T.: I share my apartment with a psycho. He’ll make me eat his cooking if I’m there any time between 8 AM and 7 PM. And trust me. You don’t want to eat his cooking.

Lemmy: …

(Shrike bursts into the room.)

Shrike: P.T., I couldn’t find Gary the Goomba like you wanted. But I did get these two! Let me just get Spike.

Lemmy: Spike’s here?

Shrike: No. This Spike is a spike bass.

(A spike bass bursts into the room and spits out a Bristle and Swoopin’ Stu.)

Stu: Uh, hi. I’m Stew.

Bristle: Bark! Bark!

P.T.: I like this bristle, already. LEMMY! INTERVIEW!

Lemmy: What?

P.T.: Well, you’re complaining about how you haven’t been appearing!

Lemmy: Fine.

(Bill bursts into the room.)

Bill: Give me a dollar.

Stew: No.

Lemmy: What is it with you and money?

Bill: I’ll only tell you, if you give me a dollar.

Lemmy: Fine.

(He does. Bill then leaves.)

Lemmy: …

(Later…)

Lemmy: Welcome to my Interview show!

P.T.: MINE!

Lemmy: Ignore him. Anyway, today I’ll interview Stew the swoopin’ stu, and… a bristle.

Bristle: Bark, bark!

Ludwig: Never fear! I can speak Bristlenese!

Lemmy: Sounds more like Chainchompanese.

P.T.: Oh, no you don’t! I like E. Gadd better than you, so he’ll translate.

Ludwig: … Well, I bet I love chocolate more!

P.T.: DIE!

(They get into a fight over who loves chocolate more.)

Lemmy: (Hmmm. There’s lots of filler. I’m going to have to make up for this, by asking lots of questions. Fortunately, that’s where having more than one interviewee helps.) So. Stew, which kind of Stu are you?

Stew: A Swoopin’ Stu. I’m the kind that comes out goop.

Lemmy: What colors do you appear in?

Stew: Red, blue, yellow, green, orange, purple, brown, black, white, and pink. Some of them aren’t in Super Mario Sunshine, though. I’m red.

Lemmy: Ah. Why are you a Stu if you don’t look at all like a regular Stu?

Stew: The first Swoopin’ Stu was a Strollin’ Stu that got mutated. So we’re part of the Stu family.

Lemmy: Do you ever appear outside of goop-plentiful areas?

Stew: I’m here right now, aren’t I?

Lemmy: Well you didn’t have to be rude about it. Do you ever want to appear in any future games?

Stew: Sure!

Lemmy: Were you any of the Stus in that game?

Stew: Yes, but I don’t know which one.

Lemmy: Okay. Now for the Bristle. Bristle, why do you bark like a Chain Chomp?

Bristle: Bark, bark!

Gadd: He said that it’s because he’s crazy. Other Bristles don’t.

Lemmy: How did your kind get into the major leagues of the Glitz Pit, when you only have 2 HP?

Bristle: Bark, bark!

Gadd: He said it’s because none of the people below his rank knew how to beat Bristles.

Lemmy: Why are you all missing a tooth?

Bristle: Bark, bark!

Gadd: He said that it’s because Bristles usually lose a tooth.

Lemmy: Were you any of the Bristles in PM2?

Bristle: Bark, bark!

Gadd: He said he was the one further from Mario in Shhwonk Fortress.

Lemmy: Do you want to appear in the future?

Bristle: Bark.

Gadd: He doesn’t care.

(A Dark Bristle bursts in.)

Dark Bristle: Interview me!

Gadd: My work here is done.

Dark Bristle: Plus, I can translate for that guy!

Lemmy: Uh, okay. What exactly is a Dark Bristle?

Dark Bristle: Just call me Dark, by the way. Not to be confused with Dark Koopa. A Dark Bristle is a Bristle that’s lived for at least a century.

Lemmy: Do you appear anywhere outside the Pit of 100 Trials?

Dark: Yes.

Lemmy: Why do a Bristle’s purple bandanas on their spears turn red upon becoming a Dark Bristle?

Dark: We change them, as a sign of becoming a dark bristle.

Lemmy: Where you any of the dark bristles in PM2?

Dark: Yeah, I was the first one you’d find in the Pit of 100 Trials.

Lemmy: Do you want any future appearances?

Dark: That’d be nice.

Lemmy: Well, that’s it for today.

P.T.: I managed to beat up Ludwig!

Bowser: DIE!

(P.T. pile-drives Bowser, as if Wario were doing it.)

Lemmy: You beat up my dad!

P.T.: Too bad! … Hey! That rhymes!

Lemmy: …

P.T.: Stew, Bristle-

Bristle: Bark!

Dark: He says his name is Bristler. It’s like Bristle, but with an R at the end.

P.T.: Stew, Bristler, Dark, would you like to join us?

Stew and Dark: Okay.

Bristler: Bark!

Dark: He said okay.

P.T.: Okay! But first, you three have to interview someone.

(Octorock bursts through the wall.)

Octorock: I thought it’d be handy for Bristler to drink this.

(He pulls out the potion he drank to gain the ability of speech. He then feeds it to Bristler.)

Bristler: W00t! 1 can talk! And 1n l33t!

Lemmy: …

P.T.: What? I was running out of quirks to give characters!

Octorock: I knew the potion would be affected when that Toad in a straight jacket spit in it.

P.T.: End Transmission!

(Transmission Ended.)

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