The Dryest Bones: I got my first 20 Interviews on DVD!

Yishotimi: Let me see!

(Yishotimi sees that it's called "Interview Collection 1, Buy The Dryest Bones".)

Yishotimi: You spelled "by" wrong!

The Dryest Bones: Says who?

Kamek: You mean...

The Dryest Bones: Yep!

Kamek: WE GOT BOUGHT OUT BY DONALD TRUMP, AND NOW WE'RE DOOMED?

The Dryest Bones: No. We're all on Ebay! Except Rose, who's still on "vacation".

Chuck: I'll finally have a family!

The Dryest Bones: It's my smartest get-rich-quick scheme ever!

Yishotimi: YOU IDIOT! AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE OPTIMISTIC ONE!

The Dryest Bones: What about Chuck Quizmo?

Yishotimi: I can't win.

(The Crystal King bursts through the door.)

Crystal King: ...

Kamek: We got bought by a guy who can't even talk?!

Crystal King: No, I can talk.

Pikachu: I CAN TALK!

The Dryest Bones: SECURITY!

(Fred Fredburger and Dark Bones come. Fred keeps on asking mindless questions about frozen yogurt, and Dark Bones plays poker with him.)

The Dryest Bones: 0.0

Kamek: I'll handle this!

(Kamek uses magic to wipe Pikachu from existence.)

The Dryest Bones: Great... YOU JUST KILLED ONE OF NINTENDO'S FAVORITE CHARACTERS!

Kamek: And?

The Dryest Bones: Good point...

Crystal King: Anyway, I came here to tell you that... YOU'VE ALL BEEN KIDNAPPED ALONG WITH ME!

The Dryest Bones: What?

Crystal King: General Guy kidnapped us all during that whole Pikachu episode. Now, we're all hostage in Shy Guy's Toybox.

Chuck: Then why'd you come here in the first place?

Crystal King: You didn't pay the rent.

(Chuck is seen killing Crystal King with a flamethrower.)

The Dryest Bones: 0.0

Kamek: Can we leave now?

General Guy: No, sir. You have to interview me for your freedom now, sir.

The Dryest Bones: Audience?

General Guy: Shy Guys.

The Dryest Bones: Random cameos?

General Guy: We've got 'em.

The Dryest Bones: All right. Now, we'll begin, I guess...

Lemmy: LEMMY'S INTERVIEW SHOW!

The Dryest Bones: Lemmy, I free you from your curse.

Lemmy: Thank you!

The Dryest Bones: Now, go play Super Koopaling World. BUY TODAY! BUY NOW! TELL YOUR FRIENDS!

Lemmy: Weirdo...

(Lemmy leaves.)

Kamek: Anyway, we all are hostage and have to interview General Guy!

Shy Guy Audience: YAY!

Chuck: Are you the leader of the Shy Guys?

General Guy: Duh!

Yishotimi: What about Wart?

General Guy: I won 95 percent of them off of him in a poker game.

Kamek: All right, so why are you white?

General Guy: Got hit by a vegetable when I was young. Never recovered.

The Dryest Bones: Why do you live inside a toy box?

General Guy: I'll let my scientific guy explain that.

Scientific Guy: Vwell, zis box can survive a nuclear explosion, global warming, a random attack from The Dryest Bones, the end of the world, and being eaten by a worm. The only thing it couldn't survive would be if someone kicked it. But we hid it well to prevent that.

Chuck: No you didn't.

Scientific Guy: DOES NOT COMPUTE!

(Scientific Guy explodes.)

Yishotimi: Do you have any special powers?

General Guy: Authority over Shy Guys, extra power, and I'm a pretty mean breakdancer.

Kamek: Is that why your float in the parade at the end is a dancing stage?

General Guy: Yes.

The Dryest Bones: Time for audience questions! Seat SORTOFASHYGUYBUTNOTREALLYBECAUSEOFADIFFERENTNAMEANDATTRIBUTES!

Snifit: That fits on a seat?

The Dryest Bones: Ask a question.

Snifit: That is a question.

The Dryest Bones: Ask an INTELLEGENT QUESTION!

Snifit: What is the velocity of an unlaiden swallow?

The Dryest Bones: ONE THAT IS NOT RELATED TO IGGY'S BAD PUNS OR ANY OTHER FORM OF HUMOR!

Snifit: How'd you get the tank?

General Guy: It's a toy that I improved, like the train.

The Dryest Bones: Seat.

Chuck: What seat?

The Dryest Bones: Just seat.

Seat: ...

General Guy: My tank's weak to electricity because electricity could short-circuit the light bulb on my tank, which is the power supply.

Kamek: Seat ICANTBREATHE!

Captain Olimar: I forgot my suit and *gag* can't breathe! How are you stronger than the average Shy Guy?

General Guy: I was sent to Koopa Boot Camp as a child.

Yishotimi: Seat REBELGUY!

Anti Guy: What kind of Shy Guy were you before general?

General Guy: I was a regular Shy Guy, and then a Groove Guy.

The Dryest Bones: Well, that's all the time we have for today so... TELEPORT!

(The Dryest Bones teleports out of the toy box with Kamek and Chuck. Then, he kicks it.)

General Guy: WE'RE ALL DOOMED!

Yishotimi: Why me?

Yishotimi's Brain: You asked for it.

Yishotimi: SAVE ME, DAD!

(A Bullet Bill saves Yishotimi.)

Yishotimi: Close enough.

The Dryest Bones: Great... Now we don't have a studio!

Kamek: Shouldn't it be in the same place?

The Dryest Bones: WE MOVE ALL AROUND THE DESERT NOW! EVER SINCE EGG GUY GOT FIRED, I'VE HAD TO PAY FRED FREDBURGER ONE GALLON OF FROZEN YOGURT TO HAUL US AROUND FOR THE PAST MONTH! NOW, WE'RE DOOMED!

Chuck: Well, at least it couldn't get any worse.

(A bolt of lightning strikes Kamek.)

Kamek: BLAGITYBLAGITYBLAGITYBLAGITY- END TRANSMISSION!

The Dryest Bones: It just did.

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.