P.T.: Time for an Interview! And today’s unlucky interviewer is…

(P.T. pulls out a piece of toast, and rips it in half.)

P.T.: ME! WAAAHHHH!!!

Lemmy: Wah, wah, wah! Get out there.

Soon…

P.T.: Okay. Tweedle-Dee, Tweedle-Dumb, and Tweedle…Short-

Beldam: Hey! Quiet, or I’ll punish you!

P.T.: Which would mean…?

Beldam: YOU MUST WATCH DORA THE EXPLORER, WITH NO BREAKS!

(P.T.'s eye twitches, but you can’t see that under his shades.)

P.T.: Okay. Now. Why do you wear those weird hats?

Marilyn: Guh.

P.T.: … I’ll just ask in order of importance. Since Vivian becomes a party member, she’ll go first… KETCHUP!

Existence: …

Beldam: But I’m the most important! You shall be punished!

P.T.: Now Vivian, why do you and your siblings wear hats?

Vivian: To show that we’re magical.

P.T.: Beldam, how could you have lived for about 1,000 years?

Beldam: I cryogenically froze ourselves.

P.T.: Doesn’t that kill you?

Beldam: … I never thought about that.

The twisted sisters die. 3 1-Up Mushrooms later…

Beldam: YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED FOR ASKING A QUESTION THAT CAUSED OUR DEATHS!

P.T.: Marilyn, how do you only say guh and huh, yet managed to say “The Three” when you introduced yourselves?

Marilyn: Huh?

Beldam: We had a stunt double at the time. Anyway, MARILYN! YOU SHALL BE PUNISHED FOR NOT KNOWING!

Marilyn: Guh…

Backstage…

Lemmy: What’s with all the characters having stunt doubles? And why is Beldam so obsessed with punishments?

Beldam: You shall be punished for questioning my ways, little turtle behind the stage!

P.T.: Vivian, how did you do Fiery Jinx in the battle at Boggly Woods, but had to learn it after joining Mario? (Why aren’t I as crazy?)

Vivian: All that extra power came from Beldam. When I was away from her, that power was taken away.

P.T.: Beldam, why did you let Doopliss join you?

Beldam: To replace Vivian, we had to take the first loser we could see. Now, you’ll be punished for mentioning that freak-sheet!

Doopliss: Well, you’re not perfect, either!

Beldam: I will punish you!

P.T.: Marilyn, does Beldam ever mistreat you?

Marilyn: Guh.

Vivian: She said that she does, but not as much as me.

Beldam: YOU! EMPTY AUDIENCE SEAT! YOU WILL BE PUNISHED FOR BEING EMPTY!

Existence: …

P.T.: Nice to meet you, Existence! I’m P.T.!

Existence: Pleasure’s all mine. Boy, I hope nothing incredibly stupid happens, again.

(Mario’s Clone/Fake Mario/whatever you want to call him enters the studio, and throws the new board game, Fact or *censored*, at Existence, who dies.)

Mario’s Clone: CHEESE!

Mario: Blowfish!

(Mario shoots 1,000 needles at his clone.)

Cactuar: Hey! That’s my move! Oh well. At least I appeared in a Mario game!

P.T.: AUDIENCE QUESTIONS! Seat ICAN’TTHINKOFANAMEFORTHISSEAT.

Grodus: Why did you betray me?

Beldam: I never betrayed you, I just used you.

Grodus: … I wish I'd seen that coming. I’m outta here!

Grodus’s head rolls away. Wait, that’s the stunt double's head. The real Grodus is still whole.

P.T.: Seat NOTREALLYJUSTAHEAD.

Real Grodus: Vivian, why didn’t you recognize the purple thing to be Mario? He sounded like the real one, and even had the same shape!

Vivian: Well, I thought that could be common in people.

P.T.: Seat WHYAREALLTHEPEOPLEX-NAUTS?.

Crump: Why did you go crazy and make pancakes in Dry, Dry Desert with Rusty’s ghost and Prince Peasley?

Vivian: I got drunk. But I’m better, now. Oh, and Peasley wasn’t a prince anymore when that happened.

Existence: …

P.T.: I thought you died!

Existence: Well, uh… Seat BOGMIRE’SAUNT!

Shadow Queen: So it’s true YOU started the rumor of treasure?

Beldam: Well, I got people excited about it before our freezing, but no, since there actually was a (lousy) treasure. I’m the only one of us three who remembered. You’ll be punished for being the final boss, yet still defeated!

Shadow Queen: NO! I still want to make the world a purple place! Like in Artemendo’s FF!

Vivian: Are you trying to say “perfect place”?

Shadow Queen: No, I really mean “purple place”.

Vivian: …

P.T.: Seat BLOWFISH.

Cactuar: Why do you have your own battle music?

Beldam: Boom box! Duh! YOU’LL BE PUNISHED FOR NOT KNOWING!

P.T.: And that’s it for today! Go home! Oh, and Beldam. Would you make me the happiest man in the world and… GET THE INSERT CURSE WORD HERE OUT OF MY STUDIO!

Beldam: PUNISHMENT!

(An army of tiny Doras start swarming P.T.)

P.T.: SUPER FIST OF THE NOSEHAIR: GONDOLA TOUR!

(A gondola appears.)

P.T.: Hurry, gang! Before it’s too late!

(The gang is in the gondola on the way out, when P.T. pushes Lemmy into the sea of Doras.)

Lemmy: NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Shrooby: That was close. End Transmission!

Transmission Ended.

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