Lemmy: P.T.! You shall interview, or I’ll toss you into the Hillbilly Pit!

(The camera zooms to the other side of the room. There’s a hole in the ground with hillbilly noises coming out. There’s also a sign next to it that says “Hillbilly Pit”.)

P.T.: NOOOOO!!!

Lemmy: The Interview thingy says that you’ll interview… Mean Emcee? Oh well.

Soon…

P.T.: Welcome! I’m only interviewing to avoid a certain torture…

(The camera goes back to the Hillbilly Pit for a few seconds.)

P.T.: Anyway, the interviewee that I’m interviewing against my will is Mean Emcee!

(A cup is onstage.)

P.T.: You’re a cup? I thought you were a green barker.

Emcee (in the cup): I am, you idiot! Hit the cup!

(P.T. bites the cup. It raises.)

Emcee: Finally. I was running out of oxygen.

P.T.: Whatever. Now, why do you live in Mirror Mansion?

Emcee: I’m tricky. So is the mansion. I fit in perfectly. Plus, I own it.

P.T.: What treasure were you?

Emcee: The Reflective Emerald.

P.T.: How accurate. May I have a list of what each boss was?

Emcee: After the Interview.

P.T.: THAT WASN’T PART OF THE DEAL, OLD MAN!

Emcee: Huh?

P.T.: Silence, nonbeliever! Why did you hide in the cups?

Emcee: Not only was I somewhat scared, but I wanted my trickiness to show. And the Jewel wanted me to, so I’d be harder. After my defeat, he ditched that idea.

P.T.: Why are you called “Mean Emcee”? You don’t seem mean. Not even in the game.

Emcee: It’s to help boost my self esteem as a villain.

P.T.: … Since you’re green and can unleash powerful attacks, does that mean you’re at all related to Hyper
Goombas, Hyper Clefts, etc?

Emcee: No. But they were the Jewel’s inspiration, when he created me. I’m also green because I was an emerald.

P.T.: Audience Questions! Seat CUPHIDER1.

Ninja Bird: Why could players see a Spriteling on the background of your lair?

Emcee: That was the only wallpaper they had at the store.

Ninja Bird: …

P.T.: Seat CUPHIDER2.

Vampgician: Why did you force some of us to hide in the other cups?

Emcee: If Wario hit the wrong cup and nothing happened, it’d be too easy.

P.T.: Seat GUYWHOBEATUPTHEINTERVIEWEE.

Wario: Do you hope for any future appearances?

Emcee: I wouldn’t mind. Maybe I could come back… in a Mario game!

P.T.: Somehow, I doubt it. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want that to happen. Okay! Now tell me!

Emcee: Fine.

List:
GREENFIST: EMERALD FIST
SANDWORM: GOLD PYRAMID
DINOMIGHTY: BEAUTY’S DIAMOND
BRAWL DOLL: RARE DOLL
CLOWN-A-ROUND: CLOWN STATUE
DUAL DRAGONS: DOUBLE DIAMONDS
WINTER WINDSTER: COLD SAPPHIRE
SPIDERACTUS: GOLDEN SPIDER
RED BRIEF J: DURABLE RUBY
MEAN EMCEE: REFLECTIVE EMERALD
IRONSIDER: IRON LION’S HEAD
CAPTAIN SKULL: SKULL GEM (Not like Flavio’s)

P.T.: Okay! End Transmission!

Transmission Ended.

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.