KAMEK interviews GLITZVILLE SECURITY

By The Dryest Bones

Chuck: I got the transmission back!

The Dryest Bones: Why?

Chuck: Becuase I felt like it.

The Dryest Bones: Great... Now we can't pretend to hold a person that the reader likes hostage for millions of dollars... Did I say that into the camera?

(99% of readers blow up their computer screens after reading that message.)

Kamek: AAAHHHHHHHHH! There goes government funding!

Yishotimi: We have government funding?

Kamek: I guess.

The Dryest Bones: Well then, let's run like idiots in front of the 1 percent of readers left!

TDB's Interview crew moves in a conga line for hours on end. Suddenly, Glitzville falls out of the sky. Kamek creates a protective bubble around them, and they end up in Jolene's office (at least semi) alive

Jolene: Why'd we go in that alternate dimension gate?

Prince Mush: It's on our list. Now we... DIE!

Jolene: Right!

(Jolene and Prince Mush die.)

Chuck: 0.0

Rawk Hawk: That means this place is up for grabs! I can't do it. I want to RAWK more people.

Kamek: This Dry Bones will do it!

The Dryest Bones: WHAT?!

Rawk Hawk: You're hired! RAWK the audience!

The Dryest Bones: I don't wanna!

Glitzville Security Guard: You have no choice anymore. Now, I'm here to either tell you your first order of business, or send you to an Exploding Pie Pit.

The Dryest Bones: (How does he know my weakness?) What is my first idiotic order of business?

Security Guard: Taking revenge on a random Kamek.

The Dryest Bones: I love my new job! Do I still have to do an Interview show?

(The Dryest Bones gets an Email.)

Lemmy's Email: YES!

The Dryest Bones: DANG IT! Oh well, I'll get Kamek to interview YOU!

Security Guard: Dang it. Well, I have life insurance.

One strapping Kamek to a chair in the middle of the arena later...

The Dryest Bones: Welcome, Sports Fans! Do you want to see unnecessary violence?

Fans: YEAH!

The Dryest Bones: Both the security guy and this Magikoopa will get pain today, in an Interview!

Fans: WE HATE YOUR INTERVIEWS. EXCEPT FOR THE PAIN!

The Dryest Bones: -_- Kamek, start.

Kamek: What exactly are you?

Security Guard: We are a very thin sub-species of Spikes.

(Kamek gets set on fire.)

Kamek: WHY?

The Dryest Bones: Every time he answers a question, you get PAIN!

Audience: YAY!

Kamek: Why not Yishotimi?

The Dryest Bones: I have him strapped to a chair in the storage room that does the same thing. KEEP GOING!

Audience: YEAH! WE WANT MORE VIOLENCE!

Kamek: Were you a significant security guard?

Security G: Yeah. I was the one that let Mario into Mr Grubba's office, the one who let him into the minor league locker room when he was a major, and the one who trapped him in that room.

(Kamek gets his toes bitten by a Chain Chomp.)

Kamek: YEOWCH! Who told you to *pant* let Mario into the *pant* Minor League Lockers?

Security G: Mr. Grubba. He was making odd, clanky noises, though.

(A robot Grubba that says "property of X" falls on Kamek's head.)

Kamek: My skull is definitely cracked. Anyway, why wouldn't you let Mario go in the Minor League Lockers after he got that paper?

Security G: Mrs. Jolene told me to keep him from vandalizing it while he was a Major or Champion when she left the room.

(A pebble lands on Kamek's head.)

Kamek: Time for audience questions! Seat MESSAGEBOARDTALK!

L33T Bro: How d1d u bar1cad da d00r?

Security G: If you're asking how I barricaded the door so Mario couldn't leave, I put one of the metal crates from the storage room in front of it.

(L33T Br0 has a sudden heart attack and dies.)

Audience: YEAH! INTERNAL VIOLENCE!

Kamek: Seat DANCINGNUMBER!

Mr. 2: How many of your kind are there?

Security G: Only those in Glitzville.

(Mr. 2’s headband comes off. This makes him go on an emotional rampage and kill .5% of the readers viewing this.)

Kamek: Seat THISBETTERBETHEEND!

Lloyd Irving: 80 straight hours... of playing... Tales of Symphonia... Why did you let... Mario in toward... Grubba?

Security G: That actually was my clone.

(Lloyd gets a game over, and remembers he forgot to save. He dies of exhaustion, humiliation, idiocy, and lack of food.)

Security G: But, he told me it was because he thought Grubba was going to show the new champ a few new additions to the arena.

Kamek: Final question! Seat MUMMIFIEDCACTI!

Mummipokey: Why have you referred to Gonzalez as "Mario" this whole Interview?

Security G: Because Mario is easier to say.

(Mummipokey explodes.)

Audience: PRETTY!

Kamek: Well, that's all the time we have for today, so...

(Kamek pulls a switch. A nacho costume falls on Security Guard. Both are devoured by Fred Fredburger.)

Kamek: We'll see you all next time!

The Dryest Bones: AND NOW, THE MAIN (end transmission) EVENT! NOW, FOR THE ULTIMATE BATTLE, IT'S-

Transmission Terminated

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