CHUCK interviews GLOOMTAIL

By The Dryest Bones

The Dryest Bones: I loved getting insanely rich after my many fans saw me abandoned in the middle of nowhere!

Kamek: What do you MEAN? You only have .000000001 fans! And, the only reason you're successful is because Prince Mush drove Glitzville to the ground. AND you were only stranded for one Interview. AND you're just lucky that Chuck can repair a giant, floating city.

The Dryest Bones: Don't care. NOTHING CAN RUIN THIS DAY!

(All of Glitzville begins to shake.)

Kamek: As you were saying?

The Dryest Bones: Patience. YISHOTIMI!

Yishotimi: Why do I work for you?

The Dryest Bones: The laser did "seemingly" nothing. If you leave, you will become an old man with scurvy who wears a lotion that attracts Chain Chomps. Anyway, GO CHECK OUT THE SHAKING!

Yishotimi: Fine.

(Yishotimi goes into the blimp area. Terrible screaming is heard afterward.)

The Dryest Bones: The day just got better!

Kamek: You're EVIL!

The Dryest Bones: No, I'm too stupid to be evil. HE'S evil.

(Gloomtail brusts through TDB's office.)

Gloomtail: I'm killing you for not having enough Paper Mario 2 Interviews!

The Dryest Bones: YOU'RE my .000000001 fans?

Gloomtail: Actually, there's a Mircogoomba in my brain that controls my actions occasionally. He's your fan.

The Dryest Bones: I see... YOU'LL BE INTERVIEWED!

Gloomtail: Yes, Master.

Chuck: I'll do it. Will I be exempt from work?

The Dryest Bones: Why not?

Chuck: YAY!

In the arena...

Chuck: Welcome, all sports fans!

Audience: HI! PAIN!

Chuck: Today, we interview a giant dragon, GLOOMTAIL!

Audience: WHY SHOULD WE CARE?!

(Yishotimi comes in, horribly mishapened.)

Audience: AWESOME! GO! GO! GO!

Chuck: All right, first question. Why are you so much more powerful than your sister?

Gloomtail: I secretly ate an army of X-Nauts that was following Grodus. They tasted AWFUL, so unfresh... but they were powerful enough to give me extra energy. Also, I'm older.

Chuck: So why do you have poison breath instead of fire breath?

Gloomtail: I ate lots of Posion Mushrooms 1,200 years ago. Also, being trapped in a dank, dark maze for 1,000 years altered my breath.

Chuck: O...k. Why was Mario so appetizing to you?

Gloomtail: If you just ate an army of horribly-tasting guys and barely anything else for 1,000 years, a Dried Shroom would look tasty.

Chuck: We'll go to the idiot audience now. Seat POTLIPS!

Don Bongo: How did you send letters to Hooktail?

Gloomtail: A secret escape pod that goes to Hooktail Castle. I just used it as a mail carrier since I couldn't fit into it.

Chuck: Seat USELESSDOCTOR!

Dr Shroob: What minion, besides your siblings, do you like best?

Gloomtail: Definitely Dry Bones. He can reform and build more of himself.

Chuck: Seat BESTSHAMAN!

Mumbo Jumbo: Why gloomy dragon sent to guard shadow palace?

Gloomtail: Bonetail was too strong for the heroes to capture, and Hooktail was too fast. I wasn't developed in any skills at the time, so the heroes locked me away.

Chuck: Seat 1.

Mario: I got-a smarter! CHEESE! How did you-a charge your-a Megabreath?

Gloomtail: I ate a Hyper Goomba before I was sealed away. I really liked how it tasted, and absorbed his power.

Chuck: Well, that be the end of the Interview!

Gloomtail: Aren't you going to kill me?

Chuck: Oh yeah...

(Chuck makes Gloomtail eat Trial Stew. He touches him, and Gloomtail dies.)

Chuck: Goodbye, everybody!

(Gloomtail crushes straight through the arena. He hits an engine, causing it to hit another, until they all fail.)

Kamek (on a moniter): WE'RE GOING DOWN! CHUCK, REPAIR!

Chuck: No way. I get a break now.

Kamek: WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! I MEAN, NO NEED TO PANIC, AUDIENCE.

(The audience explodes.)

Kamek: GAME OVER, MAN! GAME OVER!

(Kamek breaks the camera in his panic.)

Transmission Terminated

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