STEW interviews YOOB

By P.T. Piranha

Lemmy: P.T., you haven’t interviewed for a while!

P.T.: So?

Lemmy: I’m just saying. Oh, have you seen Spike, Kyle, or Shrooby anywhere? I can’t find them.

P.T.: Uh… no?

Lemmy: Okay. Stew, Bristler, and Dark are the only ones who haven’t done solo Interviews, so Stew should interview.

Stew: Don’t I get a say in this?

Bill: Don’t I get a dollar?

Lemmy: No. To both of you.

(Soon…)

Stew: Hi! This is my first solo Interview. Okay, I’m going to interview a Yoob. And yes, there is more than one. Okay. Why did your kind eat the Yoshis?

Yoob: $^@#%!$%$$.

Stew: Oh yeah. Can someone do anything about that?

Kamek (in seat WIZARDGUY): I can!

(Kamek casts a spell, and the alien can talk.)

Yoob: I can talk!

Stew: Okay, now answer the question.

Yoob: No way, dude! I can talk! I must share my newfound ability with the world! Whee!

(He runs off.)

Stew: …

Lemmy (backstage): Hmmm. That’s the first time that happened.

(Soon, they get another Yoob, get him translated, and force him to stay.)

Stew: Why did your kind eat the Yoshis?

Yoob: So that we can shroobify them into Yoobs, using the factory in our bellies.

Stew: Why did that one Yoob spit Kamek and Kylie out of his mouth?

Yoob: Koopas taste bad.

Stew: Then why were Baby Bowser and a few Dry Bones in there?

Yoob: Royal Koopas taste different. And those Dry Bones were already Dry Bones. Dry Bones are okay to eat.

Stew: What happened to that one Yoob after the Mario quartet beat Sunnycide?

Yoob: All Yoobs are powered by Sunnycides. When they’re beaten, the Yoob shuts down. They’re like our hearts or something.

Stew: Interesting. If your kind turns Yoshis into Yoobs, then what happens if there are no more Yoshis?

Yoob: That was just to rid Plit of Yoshis, so they couldn’t stop us.

Stew: Did that one Yoob hatch out of the egg in the village?

Yoob: Yes.

Stew: Then how’d it get there?

Yoob: The altar was reserved for something else, but the egg landed there, first.

Stew: Okay. Audience Questions! Seat THANKYOUMARIO,BUTOURPRINCESSISINANOTHERCASTLE.

Toad: If Yoobs are just the result of Yoobs eating Yoshis, then how was the first Yoob created?

Yoob: Dr. Shroobs genetically altering a Yoshi.

Stew: Seat PUBLICENEMYTOLEMMY’SLANDONE.

Mario: Why did that one Yoob eat me, Luigi, and our baby selves?

Yoob: Probably because you looked like candy.

Lemmy: Security!

(A ton of Charging Chucks, Boom Booms, and Sledge Bros. surround Mario.)

Mario: Those three kinds are so clichéd in Interviews.

(Then they become Goombas which Mario stomps.)

Mario: That’s better.

(A Thwomp crushes Mario.)

P.T. (backstage): Why is it that in tourists’ Interviews, Mario is easily defeated by something he could easily defeat?

Bogmire: Sorry. I pressed the cliché button on the Interview machine. It's caused four different clichés so far: translating, security calling, Charging Chucks/Sledge Bros/Boom Booms, and defeating Mario. Soon, there’ll be a wheel that determines the interviewee’s fate.

P.T.: Crud.

Stew: Seat PUBLICENEMYTOLEMMY’SLANDTWO.

Bowser Junior: What was the Yoob doing climbing the cliff, anyway?

Yoob: He heard that some Yoshi Cookies were up there. We like those.

Stew: Okay! Now for the clichéd wheel thingy!

(The wheel spins, and it lands on good.)

Yoob: Sweet! What do I get?

Stew: Nothing! But Mario gets to emerge unharmed, and beat up Lemmy. I didn’t say it’d be good for you.

Yoob: …

(The thing with Mario happens.)

Stew: Bye!

(Soon…)

Lemmy: Now I can’t seem to find Punchy! P.T., do you know where they are?

P.T.: Uhhhhh... no?

Lemmy: Hmmm. Hey! The camera’s still rolling! End Transmission!

(Transmission Ended.)

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