The Dryest Bones: Hello everyone! You're probably wondering where I've been for the past 6 or something weeks!

Kamek: No one cares...

The Dryest Bones: Have you been messing with the Vibe Septer again?

Kamek: No, I'm just bored.

The Dryest Bones: Of what?

Kamek: Falling... for six weeks.

The Dryest Bones: I see.

Kamek: And of you creating, like, three Fun Fiction, but stopping in the middle of them.

The Dryest Bones: I get the point! And, we're finally gonna land somewhere!

Yishotimi: I can't believe I'm still here.

Chuck: I can't believe I still haven't worked.

Kamek: I can't believe how stupid you all are.

The Dryest Bones: I can't believe it's not butter!

(The Interview crew falls into Beanbean Castle Town.)

The Dryest Bones: I'm still alive!

Kamek: So am I!

Chuck: So am I!

Yishotimi's Ghost: I'm not.

The Dryest Bones: It's about time you died!

(Suddenly, two Beanbean Castle Guards surround the idiots.)

Beanbean Castle Guard: You're all under arrest for falling out of the sky when Lemmy's Land updates, killing a Rocky Wrench, destroying three shops, and eating butter without giving me some!

The Dryest Bones: But it's NOT butter!

Beanbean Castle Guard: WOAH! You ain't under arrest!

The Dryest Bones: :D

Beanbean Castle Guard: Wait, aren't you The Dryest Bones, Chuck, and Kam... that Magikoopa guy that gets hurt?!

Chuck: Yes.

Beanbean Guards: Interview us! Interview us!

The Dryest Bones: Why?

Beanbean Guards: If you don't we'll kill you... and put your bones in individual cases. And, we became fans during the six weeks of falling.

The Dryest Bones: 'Kay.

(An Interview studio magically pops up out of nowhere, complete with captive audience.)

The Dryest Bones: All right, so which guard pair are you?

Beanbean Guards: The guys in front of the castle.

The Dryest Bones: So... why wouldn't you have let the Marios into the castle without Prince Peasley's rose?

Beanbean Gaurds: There are thousands of idiots who'd like to get into the castle dressed as the Marios.

The Dryest Bones: But what about after they jumped?

Beanbean Gaurds: A swarm of Tanoombas were just outside the town. We thought it was one of them. However, we knew our wonderful prince wouldn't give a rose to a simple Goomba knockoff.

The Dryest Bones: So, why couldn't you guys understand what the Marios were saying to you?

Beanbean Guards: "Herobararobero" and "Hobeherenohoblah" or something like that wasn't much to work with.

The Dryest Bones: But everyone else could understand them.

Beanbean Guards: There's a simple explanation for that...

The Dryest Bones: And that is?

Beanbean Gaurds: Everyone else on this crazy planet is insane! Or, we're just dumb. Take it or leave it!

The Dryest Bones: Well, that explains a lot. Time for audience questions! Seat RANDOMPERSON!

Mime: ...

Everyone: AAHHHHHHHH!!! A MIME!

(A mysteriously large hand appears and squishes the mime.)

The Dryest Bones: Seat WHYDOESNTANYONEKNOWME?!

Luigi: Why didn't you idiots know who I am?

Beanbean Guards: That's simple, green guy. Mario ALWAYS has the spotlight, and you have squat! Plus, we only knew him from Super Mario RPG and Paper Mario at the time, which you had nearly nothing to do with!

The Dryest Bones: Seat ISHALLCONSUME!

Culex: How did Cackletta and Fawful get into the castle with you two guarding the entrance?

Beanbean Guards: Lady Lima went out for a walk with a young Beanbean noble. When they came back, they had a box that was making tons of odd noises. They just told us that it was a new pet for the queen. She likes pets. I now assume those two were Cackletta and Fawful.

The Dryest Bones: Seat THEORIGINALNINTENDO!

Sheriff: How did you not notice your transformed queen monster-thing?

Beanbean Gaurds: We heard some odd noises, and went to check out if the queen was alk right. However, Cackletta (as Lima) stopped us, saying that it was nothing more than a slight sprain while working out. She somehow controlled the queen and made her not make any noise.

The Dryest Bones: Seat IWANTMOREFUNNY!

Random LL Tourist: I want more funny!

(The random LL tourist dies.)

Random LL Tourist's Ghost: NOT what I meant.

The Dryest Bones: Too bad! Seat MYSTERIOUSGUY!

Mysteriously Large Hand: Why don't you guys block the way to the castle after Mario and Luigi talk to you?

Beanbean Gaurds: There was glue attached to the land that we were standing on when we let Mario and Luigi in. We just didn't want anyone to know, so we acted like it was nothing.

The Dryest Bones: Well, that's all the questions I can think of today!

Beanbean Gaurds: Will we live?

The Dryest Bones: Of course! Yishotimi died, so I don't care!

Beanbean Gaurds: YAY! We're gonna live! We're gonna live! We're gonna li...

(A train hits the guards. It also hits a randomly-placed fuse, which lights.)

The Dryest Bones: Um... STONE CAP!

(The Dryest Bones turns to stone.)

Chuck: Why'd he do that?

Kamek: Invincible bubble!

(An invincible bubble surrounds Kamek.)

Chuck: Seriously, what's the big... OH @$%@#!

(The fuse reaches about 200 crates full of dynamite, TNT, Bob-ombs, and puffy blouses.)

(BOOM!)

Chuck: Looks like the Interview show is blasting off again!

Team Rocket: HEY! This is our airspace for blasting off again!

(TOO BAD! You all die due to lack of air.)

Team Rocket: We hate you...

Yishotimi's Ghost: (Idiots.)

Meanwhile...

Meta Knight: Um... The Dryest Bones can't find anything better to do, so he needs someone's Interview studio to do stuff in. If you'd like three idiots and a ghost to crash into your studio for no reason, just Email The Dryest Bones. Thank you, and have a nice day.

Lemmy: End Transmission!

Have an Interview or a suggestion of your own? Email me!
Go back to Lemmy's Interviews.
Go back to my main page.